Captain can I have a reading please>

  • Hi Captain

    I hope that you may be able to give me some insight into what i need to do to forget someone I care for very much. I am married but I had strong feelings for a guy i worked with, nothing happened but I stupidly told him how i feel and we are not friends anymore which i find hard to accept . I need to know how to move on i have apologised but i think we will not have any more contact as he has moved on and doesn't want to forgive me or have anything to do with me.

    My life seems very stagnant right now and I feel lonely, my marriage is happy but life is boring and we have little money and my job is not very stimulating. I would like to know if things will change for me in the future. I just want to know how to get my life on track again with my husband and forget what happened but I can't keep thinking about it all and replaying it in my head.


  • You are focusing on the one thing that gives you hope - a fantasy about romance. But it never was meant to be. You have to give up all hope there and find something else to replace it - something real instead of imagined. Pick one area of your life to improve, say, your job. What is it you would really like to be working at? What is your dream job? Set about making a plan to follow your dream - do a course of study or improve your skills in some way. Make enquiries about how to get that dream job. Your life is stagnant because you are waiting for someone or something to come along and make it magically better, instead of doing it for yourself.

    Your life will change only if you change it. Stop dreaming about the perfect life. Talk to your husband, look for a new job, join a club, take up a new hobby, get a makeover, etc. Make a list of what is making you dissatisfied and put in the effort to change it. The amount of change depends on your amount of action.

  • Thanks Captain

    You are right of course, will work on it, just need to give myself a shake and get me out of this depression that I feel. I just feel such a failure at the moment, feel that everything that I do fails so what the point, but will plan one thing to start with and see where that leads. I am never good when I am idle if keep my mind busy bad things don't creep in, also I get really obsessive about stuff and then I just lose interest which I wish I could stop, no happy medium with me, my bookshelf is full of books on things that I was once interested in, my husband knows when I have a new hobby a new book appears lol. Hopefully that will be soon. lol.

  • Hi Captain...I would love a a reading from you pertaining to a kind of love triangle situation. I just got out of a 10 year marriage but a man I have know and had surpressed feelings for (you know us loyal crabs) came into my life but I was not ready (still was healing from the toll divorce takes on us cancers) but am now ready. He, however is in a realtionship with someone else but a very volatile, unhealthy one to say the least. I know he has deep feelings for me but feels "stuck" in a sense or is afraid? He is going through a divorce as well. Should I wait it out (I do not think it will last with current woman) or push it to the side and forget about it. it's hard to be clear & concise in translating my feeling because I protect myself fiercely. Thank you!

  • Hi Captain! Am in a loveless 22-year marriage, and really feeling trapped and unhappy, with so many bitter memories between us, financial woes, indiscretions to name a few. I almost walked out on it 3 years ago but my husband prevailed and was able to talk some sense into my scattered mind then. I also considered the 4 kids we've got and thought much better to forgive and give it another chance. However, things haven't been better and I felt like a robot with no feelings, just going about mydaily chores and duties. I have sought solace in my community and personal development to keep me busy.It has improved my self-esteem and I felt the more alienated I've become towards my husband. Lack of intimacy and passion made us grew apart and we're just like partners in a business or more like acquaintances, not even close friends. Must I rock the boat and embark on a soltary journey that can help me find meaning and deeper purpose in life...eventually finding my true soulmate? I have other options including my first love who returned after 36 years of waiting on the wings and others who are just as suitable for a future committed relationship? However, I'm afraid of what the future holds for me, fear of the unknown but it got me stuck to the status quo which is not ideal for me really. Reality vs. fantasy? Can be misleading but if I put my mind into making this fantasy turn into a reality, wouldn't it be great? I'm a stubborn and feisty woman born Aug. 22, 1959 at 5am. I can be rigid and narrow-minded when I'm convinced i'm on the right track, but sometimes my guilt gets the better of me and it gets in the way, then it makes me very unhappy and depressed. Please HELP!!!!


  • Hey lady! Isn't it obvious that he's been pushing you to the wall with his antics? How long can you put up with that unacceptable treatment? Have you been to counselling yet? What's the point of staying in that loveless marriage when respect and sensitivity to each other's needs have gone out of the window? Firstly, ask yourself if this negative treatment from him is acceptable to you? If not, then sit down with him and discuss objectively (if possible) what and where do you both see this relationship going? Maybe a third objective party is necessary if tension has escalated to a point where it's not possible to achieve a smooth-flowing table discussion. Only through this painful process will you be able to decide what to do next. Your self-respect and dignity is foremost for you can't be of any good use to him and your relationship if you'll be treated like a piece of trash. No one has the right to treat you that way and you must put a stop to that abusive behaviour, once and for all! On the other hand, acceptance and letting go of this toxic behaviour would be the hardest part on your end, but you'll be surely better off without this selfish and narcissistic male chauvinist!

  • Watergirlie, you are dealing with a very indecisive man who does not know what he wants. Don't sit around waiting for him to make up his mind as that could involve a LARGE amount of time. Get on with your life.

  • Angela168, you are allowing your fear of change to hold you back. You really know the answer to your own question - "Must I rock the boat and embark on a soltary journey that can help me find meaning and deeper purpose in life...eventually finding my true soulmate?" You know the answer is YES. Nothing less will fulfill you.

  • TDSMITH0928, basically your husband is acting like a tyrant - or a child. He does what he wants and too bad for everyone else. He expects you to fall into line and accept his outrageous and unfair behaviour. Time to overthrow the despot - get tough with him and stop putting up with his rubbish. Angela is right with her advice. Down with the dictator!!! Long live the Queen!!!!

  • hello captain

    I would love a reading if possible. i would like a love reading. My ex and i broke up 2 months ago and its been one of the hardest break ups in my life. I was told i would come across him again but so much has happen hafter that short reading. is it still in my cards? will he contact me? i sent him an email letting him know we cant even be friends bc i feel like he cheated on me during the relationship, i have no solid facts but it was in the cards. pls give me advise on what to expect from this brek up and if i am seeing him again will it hurt me further.

    my BOD 1/26/81 his 12/17/77

  • Sweetoty. what ruins this relationship is the nagging voice that persistently raises doubts, lowers self-esteem, and sabotages the whole affair. Your suspicions and lack of trust for your partner made him feel boxed in and sent him running for the hills. The one thing he cannot stand is to have his freedom restricted or integrity doubted. You have negative past programming that makes you mistrust everyone and if a future relationship is ever to develop and succeed, you have to deal with it. Unless there is a firm commitment to building a deeper emotional bond of sharing and trust here, your relationship will remain at a superficial level. Though your affair was probably highly passionate and exciting at first, this can fizzle out unless the attraction can involve more realistic and deeper emotions. Sheer guts and determination is needed to repair this relationship so unless you are prepared to work on your trust issues, forget about it. Stop worrying about whether you will be hurt and focus on how you hurt your partner. And he will have to develop more trust in you and more care.

  • Captain, You are right. I can sit here and tell you what happen with this relationship but the root of it is that pain i went through in the past has taken this love away. My fam also dident help in this relationship, you see his a Dr and im just a student nurse and my fam always reminded me that he has more value then me. (stupid I know) but mesess with my head.

    thank you so mutch for your time. This meens so mutch to me. i cry right now because i see that im not alone in this hard world.

    hugs and lots of love

  • Hello Captain

    Can you please tell me if this man I just met will be good for me in the long run? My DOB is 9/15/63 and his is 9/19/63. He is separated from his wife and lives 2hrs away from me. We are VERY similar in alot of ways, scary. It's weird because the day I broke up with my scorpion "friend" 10/27/59 I meet this one at a place where the scorp didn't want me to go. I did not in a million years expect to meet anyone of consideration at that place. I need to know if he is right for me? I would like to get married someday- LOL

  • Songofsharon, this works best as a friendship rather than a longterm love commitment. You both can have a grounding effect on each other. New ways of thinking will emerge from your relationship as long as you two let things gel between you. If you rub each other the wrong way (always a possibility here) the relationship will miss a chance to work its magic which might result in the realization of new projects, or at the very least, new outlooks and orientations. You offer your friend a common-sense, down-to-earth, practical approach and he can teach you something about sensuous pleasure, enjoyment and relaxation. Once this grounding begins to enter your relationship, you two may decide to take off on a new undertaking, most likely an ambitious one. That this imaginative new effort should arise spontaneously will surprise both of you.

    In a love affair, your somewhat stern attitude towards anything you consider immoral may soften a little under your friend's persistently sensual tutelage. At any rate, it should and if it doesn't, your friend may soon start to chafe under your severe judgments. You would do well to learn to relax and enjoy the spontaneous affection that the relationship offers. In a long term relationship, your expectation that your partner should toe the line can arouse resentment and bewilderment in him unless you learn to temper it. You can be over-critical and your friend can be trendy and a bit superficial which might not meld well together. Your friend also has an attraction for the dark side or nefarious pursuits which might offend your moral outlook. Quarreling, selfish and controlling attitudes can surface here that may quench the innovative ideas that can spring up between you two. You can both become very irritated with each other and will need to cultivate a lot of patience and calm.

    A friendship has the best chance of survival. Also, your common sense and your friend's good taste can be an excellent combination for a commercial venture.

  • Thank you Captain for your insight. I keep an open mind and very much appreciate your words of wisdom. I guess no relationship will be perfect since we are imperfect beings, that I know. I will continue to keep my options open regarding men. I have the time to date now but am terrified of locking into the wrong man like I have done before. The bond is hard to break once involved for both of us. This is not easy being open, and choosing who should stay or leave in my life. This is all new to me and I am coming to terms with what should be good in MY life. I deserve the best that life has to offer and not to settle like i have done in the past. I am learning dear Captain, blessings. Song of Sharon

  • hello again captain,

    i have a question regarding the reading? since uou state we had a superficial relationship, does he he care about me at this moment? I feel bad for the ain I caused him with what i told him after the break up, i said things i know would realy scar him. I said i was sorry for that but i just feel deep down that i must do something more, i feel like a jerk. Although May have been superficial, i miss his spirit and i think about him every secont of the day. this not in my chest wont go away. And i cant canvince my self that this is just a nightmare i have to wake up from, this is my reality. I know this will pass. But why an i suffering and he gets to move on.

  • i guess my question would also be, would it be worth contacting him to build a frienship? or does he not care tjat will continue to wast my energy on him.

    thank you captain

    love and hugs

  • Sweetoty, this man thinks you are bad news now and i don't see you being able to fix that. You really frightened him off. All you can do is make sure you don't do the same thing with future relationships.

  • thank you Captain. I told him I have trust problems, I guess thats part of it.

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