Am I wasting the pretty and my text minutes?

  • I met a guy on a reputable singles website on the first of this month. We corresponded back and forth until he made his next move.. to take our conversations from email to phone. Instead of asking for my number, he gave me his and said to call or text him sometime. I decided to write him back with my info and let him know he can call or text me sometime, too. He texted me the next day and we've been corresponding since (he always initiates the first text of the day). I'm not much for texting, unless I need to relay something quick, and this has been our only form of communication.. he hasn't called. Instead of overanalyzing, which I tend to do, I decided to just go with the flow and thought maybe texting is where his comfort level is right now. His last text sentence to me last night was along the lines of "we should try to get together sometime". Is this where I should draw the line or does it sound like he's taking things slow? If anything, I'm learning that patience is truly a virtue, which is making the thought of meeting him much more exciting.

  • Take it as slow as your comfortable with, if he is interested he will wait for you. Remember he may not be single or he may be meeting and talking to other girls just as he is you and maybe this is the kinda guy who takes the first come first served basis, just goin with your eyes open and your heart wary. You have to give a bit of trust as youll never let anyone in wise to guys suggestions because they ask you something and let you believe the decision is yours when really its their way of getting you to do what they want you to do.

  • I started a relationship similar to this four years ago. We started with emailing everyday and after about a month exchanged phone numbers. Text message was his mode of communication and sure it's great in the begining but it gets old. He too told me to call him sometime yet I got the feeling he never really wanted to talk. So much gets lost in texting. I've asked him about it and he says that he rarely talks on the phone and feels uncomfortable. Don't let it go on too long. Yes patience is a virtue but theres a line. I've allowed my situation to go on way too long and it's about to end.

  • Yes yes yes, meet up with him!! There is no harm in catching up for a coffee date, you have afterall, not met him yet I assume? You can obviously share conversation easily, so that suggests awkwardness will not be a problem. He seems genuine enough, and is most likely just as nervous as you. You mentioned that you tend to over-analyse things, so, leave this at bay when you communicate via technology i.e. electronics etc, but simply take this with you when you meet for lunch or coffee. You will then be able to immediately know whether you feel comfortable around him and whether he is everything you are anticipating. The experience will be exciting, and so I presume the mood and atmosphere will be cheerful.

    Have fun, enjoy yourself, and remember that lunch or coffee is only a lunch or coffee, and it is entirely in your power whether you want to slow things down or perhaps see him more often after this.

    Also, I believe confronting this new and exciting possibility sooner than later will not necessarily kill anything of the excitement you talk about, but will definitely be less of a dissapointment (should it turn to be) then rather if you left it for too long.

    Enjoy it, the beginning of a relationship is one of the most thrilling parts of a successful relationship anyway 🙂


  • doesnt sound too promising to me as if he were for real he'd say "how about we have dinner next week" or something along those lines,I was listening to a radio station and it was about peeking into your partners emails and this girl called and and said her mother found emails from a dating site going back around 20 years and he'd only lead them on,sometimes guys and girls do this kind of stuff not realising that someone could get hurt,save your text id say and leave it with him goodluck

  • I would take the first step and arrange a date with him...something simple,in a crowded place eg lunch. You can then have a pleasant date...if you fancy him then you can feel confident about continuing the relationship....if there's no spark, then enjoy your lunch, go home and stop texting! I once spent a month texting a guy through a phone singles dating service.We did talk as well but not often. We had similiar interests. We met up for lunch and he was a pleasant and polite guy but I knew I didn't fancy him. I texted him afterwards to thank him for lunch, and then I stopped. At the end of the day, if he doesn't agree to meet, then he is leading you up the garden path!

  • Hi, Well, you have gotten a lot of good advice here. Has he been on dating sites very long. I've heard that a lot of women just want to talk on them. I was on a dating site once and the hits would kind of come and go--kind of like fishing. I never made a connection. It was just too "different" for me. I've also heard from men that women will "fib" about their weight, appearance, etc. So, taking all this into account, texting might sound pretty normal. I did meet one man for lunch. He is a professional. We were in a crowded restaurant and he was basically asking me pointed questions. Didn't feel comfortable answering because the restaurant was so crowded, but also because he was slightly deaf. So, didn't want the whole restaurant knowing my life story. Also, he had a big mouth (literally). He had a habit of touching his tongue to the end of his nose when concentrating on something. He had a wide mouth and tongue, and I felt myself getting embarassed for him but also for me. So, what I'm trying to say is that you really have to meet someone before you can form an opinion. And don't put all eggs in one basket.

  • Well said Dalia! The bloke I met up with had a funny way about him too and I could feel myself involuntarily squirming and I couldn't concentrate on the conversation ! So,runwayhair, check him out !! I met my husband soon after at the local village hall whilst donating blood ....but that's another story, so they say!

  • Thank you all for your advice, I greatly appreciate it. One last thing... I decided to take the first step yesterday and arrange for the first meet. He mentioned (through text) that his buddy is having a few people over for the Super Bowl, but he wasn't sure yet. Then he asked what I was doing for the game. I feel as though he wants to ask me out, but he keeps beating around the bush. So, I texted him back saying a friend of mine is having a party and he should come with me, it will be fun. I was short and to the point and bolder than I normally am, but a male friend of mine suggested this method as a definite way to know where I stand. I haven't heard from him yet. Perhaps a Super Bowl party isn't the best for a first meet, but we both love sports and I figured it would be fun, relaxing and something different. That's the thing though.. why is it that I have to be the "hunter"? He should be CALLING ME and asking ME out. Aaarrggghhhh, why does dating have to be so complicated?? You're right, Dalia, I shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket.

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