Where are all the decent men???



  • Ok ladies - where are all the decent men hiding these days!!! Just honest normal down to earth men??? I seriously can't find one anywhere - is it me........

    Why do I attract all these losers who only want one thing and when I don't give it up - poof they are gone!!! Or they lead me on for years n then when I finally do give it up - poof they move in with someone else or the next relationship is a serious one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Is it me????



  • Hiprincess,

    i dont think it happens to only you, just reading the forums you can see how many problems relationships they are, i know men and women are wired differently, i also think that we were born to nuture and love more, finding that real love, is like taking that chance when you buy a lottery ticket, i had three bad relationships, when i was luckily enough to find the man of my dreams, the one who showed me he truly loved me, fiftheen years later he died, due to a accident, not to go into details, but ever since i chose to stay alone, i still yearn to have a soul mate by my side, but i feel afraid of looking, now i am sixty two, i want to have a peaceful life, even though none life is conflict free, i am scared, i hope someone else answers you. i know that they are good men out there, but good feelings, honest and trust worthy but it seems that they are hiding somewhere? or are they taken?

    peace and blessings

    ramonita



  • Oh ramonita - I feel for you..... I am almost in tears I am so moved by this 🙂 I hope you can find another who can make you happy - even at 62 I believe it is possible - my poppy found his soul mate at that age.... I have faith.... Just not for myself..... I am 33, no kids never married and I live alone... I am lonely and I am aching for company - even just to unload the daily pressures of life... I have always been there for everyone else and feel that I need someone to help me at this point in my life..... When I need it....

    I just am not sure what I am doing to "create" this in my life...



  • just as you have motivated me, hang in there, try and analyze the type of guys you are attracted to are they the bad boy type, thats the type i was attractied to when i was young only to find out that they were only looking for fun and games, the good clean cut guys i used to look at them as dull, they are good men out there, that want a family, that want to share thier lives with a woman, just put it in the hands of the universe, and i have deep faith the universe will grant you your deepest desire, your still young, you probably desire to have at least one child, and i had three, thats where, your deepest love goes, when you look at your own creation, and when it is defendless, that stage of my life, i really loved, i loved it so much, that i did it all over again, i been raising my grandkids, i am not lonely, i practically live for them.

    may from today on you start to create in your mind, the man you want, may he soon appear in your life, may your days be blessed.

    blessings and light!

    ramonita



  • Hiprincess

    After i wrote you i went back to bed, it is three in the morning here where i am at, something click in my head with the word you used create

    they are two thread on this forum, one is what i really want and the other is what i am grateful for in both thread theres alot on manisfestation, i hope you visit these threads, they have some powerful spirtual empowering articules.

    have a great day!

    blessings and light to you!



  • Hey Hey i am over here LOL i have been wondering about women if there are really any out there who want a honest man who is faithful who is a one women man and i do not even want to date around if i am going to date i want it to be one person not go to 2,3 or more, then if that one doesn't work then we can move own as friends .But first i need to understand and be OK with me then i need to understand what i am seeking and wanting in a relationship and why. First it needs to be someone i am physically. and emotionally compatible with and physically attractive to me and that does not mean they have to be a Barbie or a model to me its a balance looks and inner beauty.

    I was going with this girl in school and a couple of my friends ask me why she is ugly but she was not to me she was beautiful i new she was no Barbie but to me she was a whole lot more it was her inner beauty that attracted me to her and i was crazy about her but they moved to California and i seen her one time after that .You know right after i got married the last time i had 3 women come up to me and ask why i didn't give them a chance it wasn't fair and i had been single for over 5 years .I told them i didn't know you were interested .

    I have been own dating sights now for over a year and have met one lady i went and had coffee with and we committed to start building a relationship and we both agreed to take our adds off of the dating sights and after a month i seen where she was own yahoo emailing guys after we made this commitment with each other and i did not want to rush anything we had just kissed once and that was it and when i seen this on yahoo i said thats it sorry. Why ? because my last marriage just ended over lies and i would not even start a relationship when it started on a lie and deceit.

    Why do i say this own your tread ? Because i seek someone who is honest i seek a relationship that will last and for that to happen it has to be based on truth but first i need to understand what truth is .

    Some people say well thats your truth ,No truth is truth there is no half truth or a little white lie its either true or its not its either right or its wrong so to me its very important to know before hand what each expects from each other .I would love to have a relationship with a women a lasting relationship but i want it to be based on truth not sex,money,security or insecurity or feelings or emotions or fears am i asking to much i dont think so . So yes i wonder two Tooter



  • The decent men who aren't shy are usually taken, that I know of.

    At least among the people I know...

    And the ones who are shy... well, they're harder to spot than the ones who aren't.

    I think you could compare it to pulling a card out of a deck... where some cards are smaller than the others... they remain +- hidden, so it's much easier to pull out one of the bigger cards.

    (I'm saying this because I'm quite shy, so this is the idea I get of the way things 'work')

    Say, in a dating website...

    Sure, a shy guy may find in himself, with some effort, the courage to approach a girl.

    But that same girl has probably already been approached by a gazillion other guys, who contact not just 1 girl, but say... 50... 100? And then just check which ones reply. How can the woman tell which one only contacted her? She can't.

    I've filled a profile in some kind of dating/friendship website, but I find that even there I'm unable to initiate contact with people, just like in real life.

    What I think is that it's more likely to find a good person if you go and pick your card wherever you feel like, and then find out if you picked right or not, instead of just choosing from the ones that are presented to you.

    I appreciate any opinions on this theory!

    David



  • Hi Princess I feel yah, I had a bum magnet too at one time. Ask God to send you the right one and you will know when you meet him. I know when you look, you rarely find anyone who is right. Good Luck!



  • I have thought long and hard on this one. I think that it's a generational thing. Our generation came from parents who for the most part came from hardship and endured the Great Depression and a major world war. They wanted more for their children. This coupled with the economical boom after World War 2 led to the "boomers" being spoiled. Plus American women have tended to coddle their boys. And the old "double standard" gave boys the permission to do as they please sexually. Everything was fine for them until "the pill" and the "woman's movement". There now seems to be a backlash against independent women. The all-loving "earth mother" has become a strong force who "runs with wolves". This can be intimidating. The change in roles and it's effect on relationships is still being felt. I see a longing for the old paradigm from those men of our generation. But I also see a more open attitude in those men of my daughter's generation. Eventually it will balance out...I can say this from my own experience--that the men I've known want to be cared for and loved unconditionally. I will be a mother to my children, not a full-grown man. I have felt very much alone. But there's no lonliness like being in a relationship where there is no true meeting of the minds and equal partnership.



  • Be honest with yourself, the answers will come to you.



  • Wow,

    I have read all your entries and I am beginning to lose hope. So much pain caused by so many men..........I was married (still am legally) for 15 years with him for 16, have three amazing sons and he cheated on me twice. Last time I threw him out, he tells everyone he left for the sake of the children - it is just one lie after another with him. I honestly did everything for him and got nothing in return,,,,,his attitude was that his responsibility ended when he handed over the money. Money is never what I wanted, respect and appreciation for what I did, was that too much to ask for?

    I hope there are some good men out there, hope is all I have left.

    Geraldine



  • well, when you gals find them...let me know where they are! 🙂



  • Leogirl you are so right how can i be honest with you if i can not be honest with me and Archersbow you are so right two i do not need a mother i had one and i miss her allot but i do seek the compassion and understanding my mother showed and the love she showed to everyone and i also do not want any more kids to raise as a mate if i women has kids thats fine and i have noticed allot of women want to go here and there do this and do that but they want someone else to pay for it so i do not want to be a banker either or just someones handyman equality yes i believe in 1&1 =2 right, sure not that way when you go into a court room .When you watch the news and them actors or actresses get married to someone and 1 year later they get divorced and the one comes into the marriage with nothing and gets half of every thing the other one has worked their whole life for is that right No but it happens all the time .Should a man be expected to give more because he makes more than a women? Why? should a man that works and a women works should the man expect to be waited own had and foot, No, to me i think it needs to be a balance from each that they both can agree own .Tooter



  • so it would appear that both men and women are experiencing this.... so i am not alone... its not like I am looking for someone to look after me as I have quite a well paying job myself and pay my own way.. I am just looking for understanding and someone to "be there" for the tough times and not just always being me doing all the giving...

    I have moved from both men i have been taking care of for the last 5 years (my bro and my bf) and I really don't know what to do with myself and all my spare time - I need to take up a hobby!!



  • Hiprincess maybe its time for you to enjoy you and get to know you .I know for me i got broke in a little when i went back to doing commercial work and i would some times be gone for 3 months at a time then the last year go out 2 weeks and in a week so i got a little breaking in of being by myself before my divorce .But i did not know that was coming so its been 21 years since i have been alone and its all most getting OK all most LOL But i miss the attention and affection but mainly a best friend and being wanted and spoiling my mate watching the sunsets and the birds .Have you ever seen a male cardinal feed the female and they even kissed he would get a seed and put it in her beak and she would get one and put it in his beak but i still get to watch that now its just so much better when you have someone to watch it with and i mean someone i can look and see. Tooter



  • Delbertc - I was single for 3 years before I moved in with my brother.... So I do know how to be alone - in fact I have been single more than partnered in my life. And for 3 of the 5 years i mentioned above I was single and living with my brother - and ALL men want to be cooked for, cleaned after etc... He was no different - we lived our lives separately but I did most of the housework.... I am quite fine being single as I have no issue with "always wanting to be with someone".... I was single for so long I forgot wat it was like to be with someone and then I found someone who I loved whole heartedly and we have now broken up and I just want that company again.... It is the little things i miss like him making dinner when I don't feel well... And I did take it for granted... Being with him also made me realise I had been missing a MASSIVE chunk of life by hiding behind my wall.... So now I am trying to open up and meet someone decent... I just don't know where to start!!!



  • theres no set place to look for your soul mate, i meet mine while sitting in central park in new york eating a hotdog, my daughter meet her now husband in a discoteque of all places, my son meet his wife now of sixtteen years in his job, trust in the universe, ask the universe, and you will be answered, you deserve to be happy hiprincess, i hope and pray that soon the universe wil give you that encounter,

    Delbric

    you sound like a great guy, i also hope for you that soon the universe, grants you the lady of your dreams,

    happiness to both!

    ramonita



  • Hey ramonita it already has ,she first came in a dream and i thought man what a dream would be nice so i just kinda blew it off hoped i would see her again she was really pretty had sandy blond hair had a flip right in the front and her eyes were what i remember the most they were teal green we were working doing something outside i was pushing a wheel barrow and we were talking and she said i want you i said what and she repeated it i want you Tooter and the dream ended this was about 7 weeks ago she was quite a bit younger than me so i just blew it off hoping i might see her again but i didn't .

    Then here about a week ago or about 10 days seems that long, i was out side setting watching the sunset and how pretty it was and i just closed my eyes and a vision started it was like i was looking down at the earth and man was it pretty and bright the colors were so clear and a womens voice said Tooter Tooter i was so amazed at the earth and how it looked and i turned and it was her my mouth dropped open i said its you ,you were in my dream you said you wanted me she said yes Tooter you are me and i am you i will always be with you and i will never leave you i said here she said yes and i had been feeling weird lately and i said does that mean i am dieing she kinda laughed and then i see Michale and Gabriel but anyway you can read the whole thing at the Ascension 2012 tread i think about on the 35 i think .

    But she said no we will be together own earth i said when and she said soon . But you know what i have tried to make contact and even try to see earth again like i did and i could not but i finally had contact today so things are good .

    You know for 12 years i had a happiness i have never known then it changed the lying started and after 8 years it ended .It took my whole life up till that point to have that kind of happiness and then it ended and i wondered if and how i would ever have it again then that dream gave me a little hope maybe maybe someday i would but then that vision and i knew then i would with her i guess its hard for me to stay positive i want some thing i can touch or see now i am impatient but i have faith i have seen allot of neat things by trying to live in the light i am here because of the light and i believe all who have been going threw that emptying out phase will someday have their dream mate i dont know but i believe and what i wrote own that tread i was told to write all of that as it came so maybe we have a lot to hope for .If my patience can hold out LOL Love freely given i give to you Tooter



  • De;bric

    From what you wrote me my understanding is that you are a psyhic, i am new at this, even though since a early age, i would know things that were going to happen to me and my close one, just a few seconds around a person i would feel if they could be trusted or not, not until recently, i started coming into this thread looking for answers, she the one that the universe has chosen for you, but the universe has to do its job, you will meet again, it could be just turning the corner in a street where you work or live, but the encounter will happen. what i am trying to express to you, is not to have doubts, keep the faith! in every moment, you will have more happiness this time than before, you deserve it, when i first wrote my comment to Hiprincess i was not knocking all the men, i know they are good men and women out there,people that are not looking for a superficial relationship, people that want to spend the rests of thier lives with thier partners, just hang in there, and happiness will be yours, not a fairy tale happiness, but a real down to earth happiness, i look forward to hearing from you again at some point, when you announce your fullfillment to all ! may the universe grant you all your wishes, bless you with more knowledge, a happy human life.

    have a bless day!

    ramonita!



  • Wow Delbertc that sounds pretty amazing. People who have a gift such as yours are truly blessed and I wish you the best when you do meet the lady of your dreams. You sound like you deserve some happiness.

    I don't possess any gifts so guess I will just have to stick to hoping and praying that after all the pain some happiness will return.

    Geraldine


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