Insight about Pisces Man
I have a long convoluted history with a Pisces man. I'm a Libra sun/ Virgo moon/ Scorpio venus, fell in love with this Pisces sun/ Sagg moon/ Pisces venus years ago. He was never interested in a relationship and made that clear in his behavior. But still I held on waiting for him to come around for 3.5 years. I finally gave up, cut ties with him, and allowed myself to fall madly in love with a Gem man. (That turned out poorly, see other post) However, I am not currently in love with the Pisces.
When I was dating the Gemini the Pisces was jealous, and insecure. We rekindled our friendship toward the end of my relationship with the Gem. The Pisces even agreed to escort me to a gala the night before my graduation. The night of the gala, he was nowhere to be found, he says he attended my graduation but didn't come up to me because he was too nervous to meet my family. I responded saying I didn't understand him and he replied that he didn't understand himself.
Because I'm not in love with him, I don't have intense feelings about him standing me up, it's very typical of him. What frustrates me though, is that he constantly plays the victim and refuses to say it was my fault I messed up. It's always, I'm sorry but... the situation was out of my control. When the truth is, it's completely within his control. He says things like, "we always go from not speaking, to speaking because we still love each other, let's be honest with ourselves." Then, stands me up, gets upset when I get mad at him, and shuts down and refuses to speak about it. No matter how many times I explain my position he just doesn't get it.
Can you help me understand this Pisces? Or should I just end our friendship for good? I'll admit that though I am still in love with my Gemini ex and really really miss him, this Pisces really seems to be able to get a rise out of me. What can you tell me about this Pisces male? After 5 years I swear I just don't get him.
Neptune is said to be such planet. It rules illusion, imprisonment, self undoing, sensitivity (like all water signs) and self sacrificial. So unless there are aspects (within his chart or life in general) that help him get rid of this illusion he lives in, he has a long way to go to break free of this illusion he puts himself in. In this illusion he takes the role of a victim, because he feels that he deserves it (self undoing). Everyone makes mistakes, but he is the one that can't get over the guilt. Instead of making amends for his mistakes, he actually pulls himself further down (imprisonment). If his family is not harmonious, he may become an addict at young age. It is true that I can't tell this for sure by his sun and venus alone. But from what you describe it does seem that either Neptune or Pisces is dominant in his chart. and it doesn't seem his family or surroundings have been helpful, or else he won't be "nervous to meet your family". he is nervous, because he is ashamed of his own family and himself. Something might have happened in his family, that made them not available for him when he was young. or they simply just didn't care and so this illusion of his as a victim, become more potent, he actually believes it is reality, while it is hardly the truth.
Libraire ,drop him and move on.Pisces,like gem,has a dual nature.He never wanted to be with you but felt pressured.His heart isn't yours hun.Toss him back.He's too fickle.
Leoscorpion- I think you're right! He grew up in a really rough environment and many of his friends passed away very young. He also is surrounded by a very patronizing bunch. They allow his fickle behavior because they are so grateful when he does come through. He certainly ALWAYS plays the victim when it comes to me and we both end up frustrated because I constantly ask that he accept responsibility for his actions.
Blueyedervish- Yikes! I guess as a Libra I too have a dual nature but I try to balance it. Seems my Pisces and my Gem both do but I get either 1 or the other extreme. I'm afraid you may be right though... we can't seem to get along for a decent amount of time... it's always something with him. But in true Libra fashion I keep giving him chances to prove he's changed/ or can do better. I do really love him as a friend, there's probably a part of me that loves him as more too... but I can control my feelings much better than I used to so letting him go will be a breeze compared to my Gemini ex.
Libraire you're welcome
if channeled the right way, a prominent Neptune influence would make him a big name in the art and beauty, maybe also social work and clairvoyant area. but if not, he will need a lot of help to get out of his own imprisonment. Nobody puts him there, he does it himself, probably because he blames himself of his friends deaths. he felt guilty or abandoned by their 'departure' without him. plus the patronizing bunch, they won't like to see him in this illusion. and so he never gets to know reality - reality of his situation, reality of who he is, let alone his relationship.
venus in pisces is a great contribution to artistic talents and humanitarian issue, but this placement increases his sensitivity. even if you are careful, he will always find something hurtful in your words or actions. then he will feel victimized and so it goes on and on. You both appreciate arts and beauty, but you are not one of melancholy as he is. He is probably a 'piece of work' in your eyes, like an unfinished art work. It has its beauty, nonetheless.
He does have moments of clarity as you said "They allow his fickle behavior because they are so grateful when he does come through". But I will leave this to you to think about.
Hope for the best !
I am sorry.I should have softened that reply with a little more kindness.I didn't mean to offend and I do apologise.
What is it you see in common with each of these 2 males that attracts you.Libras do tend to get along with most people but they tend to give over too much of themselves in lukewarm relationships,where the male flounders.I feel you are somewhat ambitious.You need a sag/cap to light up your life and wouldn't it be nice if there was such a fun,grounded spirit close by.I honestly don't know where that came from but who knows???Stuff happens.Blessings and a huge hug to you libraire.
Yes he really is. I find beauty and perhaps some intrigue in his quiet suffering and empathy. And I always over give... it was a big imbalance in my Pisces relationship and one I think we are constantly battling. Early on I loved him more deeply than he did me... and his love came eventually, years later, but we still both have trouble getting over it.
My Gem reciprocated from the beginning and was always very loving, affectionate, etc. but just loved too many women I guess. And as a Venus in Scorpio I couldn't handle his flirting, and he wasn't willing to commit yet so he resisted and pulled away.
I digress. My Pisces is really sweet, I can't help but think he means well. When I do cut him off and stop speaking to him, he is very hurt and frustrated with me. I just never understand why he's so hurt without me, but unappreciative when he has me (and that's not necessarily just in a romantic context).
I think I'm attracted to men in pain... I have a savior complex perhaps? A natural nurturer. I seek to give much of what I felt I lacked in my life. And I find myself in tune to both of their emotional needs. The problem comes when I expect it to be reciprocated.
Oh and I wasn't at all offended. I appreciate all the advice I get here. No hard feelings.
My boyfriend is a Pisces and he sounds so much like your Pisces friend. The only difference is that he doesn't stand me up, although he can be very non-committal about routine things, like when we are going to see each other. I try to be patient with him (very difficult for a Leo). I love him and when he is in a good mood he is wonderful to be around. But he often plays the victim and is hurt very easily by my words and actions. I try to be independent because if I get too clingy he pulls away. But then he says I don't care about him. I feel like I am walking on eggshells all the time. I have tried breaking up with him(for my own sanity) but he always calls me back. Its just like you said...why is he so hurt without me and unappreciative when he has me.
Someone told me that Pisces never really go away. That they will always stay in your life if you let them. I wonder if this is true. I love my Fish and I hope we can always be in one another's life but I am not sure if we are meant to be together as a couple.
"I just never understand why he's so hurt without me, but unappreciative when he has me (and that's not necessarily just in a romantic context)."
because of the victims role that he assumes real. a victim, is never happy. I can imagine he is sweet, because venus is exalted in pisces. the good thing is he is definitely compassionate, but VERY easily hurt. it doesn't have to be you that hurts him, but someone else, something that has nothing to do with you and it can ruin his mood for the entire week.
Yeah Neptune children, as my friend ScarsandStars call them, may possess a gentle beauty and charm. Not alluring like Scorpios, but attractive nonetheless.
"I think I'm attracted to men in pain... I have a savior complex perhaps?"
what is your dob? The stars might be able to explain it.
I wanted to share to great books with you that will further help with understanding your Pisces friend as well as yourself.The first is Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller.This book help unlock the door of understanding for me in so many ways.It looks at your North Nodes and breaks down each area of your life and explains why we can no longer live by what worked in previous lifetimes.I myself have a similar story as you with a Pisces and his Node is in Virgo.I decided to let go because since day one it has been confusing and now painful to deal with him.I shared the book with him and he didn't read the section entirely but did say what he read was true and it was what he knew already.This may not bring you together however can help with your spiritual evolution and make peace with ending it or your decision to help him to break the chain of bondage.The other book is Sextrology by Starsky+Cox.I love this book because it explains the characteristic of the sun signs a little more in depth than what I have read anywhere to date.It will help you undertand thing about yourself that puts a smile on your face.You can order these books online or check your local library.I hope they will enhance your life as they have mine.
Jan Spiler is a good author.
You may want to try read Liz Greene's Neptune
you'll find a lot more information about ruler of Pisces
most of Liz books are very informative especially if you are studying about planets influence on human psychology
I replied to an earlier question about my BD and my new "friends"!!
Anyway mine is 3/18/60 at 5:39 am, paducah, ky. His 7/7/73 Brazil.
Is he my soumate? What about our future together? Will I see him again soon? We live rather far apart!!
Thanks for any insight you may give me!!!
I missed your response
will get to you soon
Thank you! No problem, looking forward to your reply!!!
Sorry I went missing, my internet at home went crazy.
I actually just graduated from law school (typical Libra lol) and prior to law school I was a teacher and feel very burdened (for lack of a better term) by the well being of children generally. Sometimes seeing children suffer is enough to send me out of balance. I certainly am capable of maintaining relationships well after the average person would have quit... even when they're toxic
I also agree, if I allow him, my Pisces will stay in my life forever. You were right about all those things you said about your bf Leonessa. Sounds eerily similar. We have never been boyfriend and girlfriend though, so that may explain why my Pisces stood me up a few times, most times he refuses to make dates at all. Despite our obvious tiffs, I must say that I truly believe wholeheartedly he is a good person. I can't say the same about my Gemini ex. And I am not particularly interested in being involved romantically at this time... I'm honestly not so sure that my Pisces ever wants to be in a romantic relationship with me. He gives mixed messages about that. I think my LIbra heart still cares about him, but my Venus Scorpio has lost that passionate love for him.
He's always had a terrible time expressing his feelings except in times where he feels threatened I'll end the friendship.
I will certainly take a look at those books though.... perhaps for help with my Gem too. But more importantly with my Pisces because I'm still unsure whether or not to maintain the relationship.
I posted the reply on your thread
this thread caught my attention... i'm a scorpio also pursuing a pisces and am facing the typical mixed signals similar to yours. any advice would be appreciated!
well we're pretty good friends. although we've only hung out 3 times in person due to busy schedules and a bit of a distance, we talk on the phone weekly. the problem is i can't tell if he wants to be more than friends. although he calls/txts first almost as much as i do and was flirtatious in person, i'm ALWAYS the one who has to make the definate plans. sure, he seems eager enough to see me and says things like "when we hang out, we have to do this" or "call me anytime to do something", but i still feel awkward because i have to suggest it and then we usually end up meeting at his place for convenience, so i feel like i'm inviting myself over... which i definately don't want to do.
i have a couple of theories about why this i always have to start things:
about 3 months ago- which is only a little bit after him and i started talking- he and his girlfriend of 2 years broke up. although he seems like he's attracted to me, i'm pretty sure that he wants to stay single for a while and just readjust... which i'm fine with. but i also feel like it shouldn't get in the way of him initiating plans with me.
he's VERY involved with music. as he said when we first talked about making plans, "call me if i don't call you first. usually, my plans revolve around my band and working on my music compositions, which i'm sure isn't interesting to everyone..." i suppose this statement was basically saying i need to take charge in making plans... outside of his musical agenda. he has invited me to various small concerts his band put on, but that was more of a publicity/support thing than actually hanging out and i've gone to one of these and have always expressed my support of him because i'm involved with music in another group and understand his passion. but making plans to spend time together has been on me and i feel almost clingy in the way i have to always ask him. i know he's very social and goes out with friends a lot... but all these friends are in his band or are in some way connected to the band, which puts me at a disadvantage because i'm not and have only been introduced to one of his friends.
so based on all this, is this typical pisces "go with the flow" behavior? how can i tell how this pisces guy feels about me?
I may not be the best to give advice since I was seeking it lol, but after 5 years with my Pisces I can tell you he will probably never be the one to make plans unless/until you express that you are fed up. He feels deep emotions and if it bothers you a lot he may try to make plans because he can feel your sadness. However, that won't be for a long time. In the meantime, you may have to just be confident and comfortable enough to make plans all the time. If he's not interested, he'll swim away.
My pisces had a lot of other issues but I honestly was playing the guessing game about how he felt for awhile... until I moved on. Then he was very open about having always loved me. I mean it can be a confusing journey but my Pisces is a very forgiving and loving spirit, just may not have been for me.
sorry i didn't get back to you sooner. thank you for your great advice!
after some thought, i think i'm just going to look at him from the perspective of a friend. even though i can't change my stronger feelings for him, i can at least calm myself down to a point where i can just enjoy his company and not worry about moving anywhere relationship-wise. i think if i push him, like you said, he will swim away!