Blmoon I hate to bother you , please read this



  • Dear Blmoon

    I know you are a very busy person and I hate to keep bothereing you, but things you told me are exactly whst I have been feeling sinve he left.

    He has been gone now for almost 17 months and still very little contact.

    I felt great after you gave me insite and witht he knowledge thst he will regret this and tell me someday he is sorry for what he has done and try to come back, but a few days later I started getting this burning feeling when I think of him, almost like a hot flash and with it comes overwhelmong grief.

    I spoke to him briefly on our sons birthday and he says he wants to hurry the divorce along now after all this time of not wanting to rush it. please help me



  • OK--you are only getting this side of the picture and ASSUMING the signals as your worst fears. There is another perspective and you have to let it play out. I do not remember all of your reading as I detach but now remember some of the key things I had told you. Mostly right now I see HER --it's all her right now and this is the beginning of that stage I told you about were she starts looking different to him. He's caught in the cross fire. All he knows are things aren't as smooth and free and lovely and he is still holding on to the "fantasy". She is not so happy--at first she was all smooth sailing and made no demands because it was a battle she had to "WIN". Now she can longer hold in her demands or her irritations and must be more real. She is focusing on him getting the divorce--he's feeling the pressure and just wants things like they were with her. This is a turning point because she is not going to be that fake fantasy he latched on to. He is making an excuse for her in his head that dragging on the divorce is making her "rightfully" irritated. BUT he will have no choice but to eventually acknowledge that even with the divorce she wil not be the dream girl he thought. Don't let your fear cloud your vision--he is not moving further away from you--he is desperately trying to please her--but it will never be the same because it was never real. Your grief is real--you can only make a choice how to survive this betrayel--but remember he betrays himself and it is not about intentualy betraying you. You are trying to keep the faith and forging ahead positively--this is wise BUT you can't ignore your pain--it is real and will manifest physically if ignored so you will have to balance that. Give yourself times for crying and wailing at the unfairness but then dry your eyes buy yourself a treat and go on. It's ok to grieve--tears are healing when you don't let it spiril into depression. Patience. Spirit insists next time you to talk be aware of her griping face and you'll pick up more truth than fear--you really are intuitive when your emotions are kept out of the mix. Blessings



  • Blmoon

    Can you give me an advice?:)



  • Dear Blmoon,

    I hope you are still here as I need you today.

    My 17 year old son has been very angry since his dad left, he has almost no contact at all and he used to be such a great dad. I try my best to give my son a great home and all he needs and a ear to listen when he wants to talk, but lately he is getting so disrespectfull and mean to me that I don't know what to do.

    The other night he went off on me in front of his friends calling me names and went so far as to pick me up and toss me when I stood in his way to keep him from leaving. This is all very unusuall for him as he is a sweet loving kid. I want him to see a theripist and he says no way so I called his dad and said I can't handle him alone I need you to go pick him up and take him to your place for a couple of days, show him you care and tell him that he has to be nice or there will be consicences.

    He picked him up and they yelled at eachother for over 2 hours and he brought him back here.

    I called the next day to ask why he didn't keep him and he said he didn't think it was wise to have him meet her.

    Okay theres that and then today this lady came through my line at the store I work and she was buying 5 dozen donuts and fruit and I said "wow you are gonna make people happy" she told me she is a phycologist for a big company and she keeps donuts for her patients, I then told her her diomond ring was beautiful and she said she loves it and I told her it means someone really loves you, seer I don't have one she looked at me and said " you will in a year and a half, I said what and she said I am really good at what I do and you will have a big diamond in a year and a half, well I got teary and she asked if she offended me, and I told no I just feel like I will be alone for ever, and she said no way honey you are way too nice see what happens in the near future.

    Can you explain any of this to me I am a mess.



  • She is echoing my advice to look past your fears and really there is a bright future for you. Not all that is bad is for the wrong reasons and sometimes a storm makes way for new gardens. Like the pain that naws at you it does doubly for your son as he is young and doesn't have your wisdom yet. As terrible as it was to be yelling with his father it actually was a good and nessasary event. Your son needs to let loose of the pain and anger before it manifests in real problems. You can't fix this for him or take it away. It is unfortunetly what it is. It also came at a good time as I told you already your husband is just now getting his fantasy bubble burst and he can't hide from his son by telling himself oh he'll be fine--he's grown--he doesn't need me and soon as all this drama is over THEN we will reconnect--BUT he is in denial and has told himself with the help of the woman who feeds his denial that things are what they are not. He's been hiding thinking you as a family would get over it--telling himself familys adjust everyday. Remember I told you the problem was inside him? He felt invisable and thinks that is how he was seen by his family as well and interpeted it as meaning it was not real. He wrongly felt invisable but the detachment was not real on your end or your son's but it was within himself. How else could he honestly think he could walk away and his son would not notice or feel the loss. He needed the wake up call from your son and it was not a waste. Your son needed to scream and yell--it was good for him to unleash on his father--his father deserved to know just how not ok his desicion was. Your sons anger at you is displaced--you are an easy target--part of him wants to blame someone--but who? Is it him? Is it you? He is needing answers because he just doesn't get it---- and it is and his father's responsability to explain himself. This dose of reality check comes at a good time FOR CHANGE and a bad time for him because he is already getting different messages from her and is afraid of it all falling apart around him. You should see some relief in your son. Wait for a tender moment to return--when it does you must take that moment to let your son know how painful this has been for both of you and that you wish you could take his hurt away but it is what it is and that you understand he has a right to be angry but it is not going to help his life heal by acting out and hurting those he loves. He needs to talk about it with you but it will be hard untill he can get past the anger. The lady who delivered the angel message is proof that you just have to hang on and wether this storm as you will come out on top. Your heart is in the right place and you have followed your intuitions without falling into the trap of revenge and hopelessness. You have taken the high road and will be blessed for this. Believe that strangers prediction--I often act as messanger of spirit to strangers when spirit asks. If she made you feel less alone and not so hopeless then it definetly was an angel hug. Take each of these tough moments as they come with the faith that "this too will pass". Expect the unexpected with your son as it is the reality of his journey for coping and very normal considering but it does not have to last. He will get through this because beneath all his pain and anger like you he has a big heart and is really learning from you how not to behave--it's just harder for him and his actions will be childish at times. When he is lashing out try not to take it personal or fuel the fire. It will be hard but just say to him you know he is angry and you are sorry he is hurting. Let him rant. You must wait untill he is calm and remorsful before discussing how inapropriate his treatment towards you has been. He really is not happy about doing what he did. The anger must go somewhere--either towards himself or outside himself. Spirit says an opportunity will come for him to talk to a therapist--it will be part forced and part resignation on his part as he will go from anger to depression. Spirit says they are trying to bring someone--a constructive friend who can give him a safe place to talk--someone who has been through this as well and got through it. Right now his angry vibes are attracting like energy and some of his friends aren't helping but you must have faith this will balance out. Try not to get stuck with fear as these bits of messy drama come your way---keep the faith and they will pass. Blessings



  • Blmoon ,if you have time for me :)pls,It's driving me crazy, i'm tired of waiting him,

    Is it late for us?Did I miss the chance?I let him go.I let him to decide what he wants,I didn't do anything to keep him with me.

    Because,i wanted to make him a move,:/

    I don't know.What should I do.Does he like me?

    i'm virgo,asc cancer,he is libra asc saggitarius (i think)

    thank you



  • Dear Blmoon,

    So you believe what the woman in my store said to me What is an angel hug.

    When My dad was Dying he looked at me and said " Oh what a beautiful dress you are wearing" and I said " Daddy I am not wearing a dress" He looked at me and said " not you honey the angel on your shoulder"

    I don't understand why if there are angels aroumd me I am in so much pain.

    Do you think the ring I will get will be from my husband or from someone else



  • It is when we are in the most pain that the angels are closest! Yes, the woman was just being a intuitive servant to the angels. I do this at times in public--although I'm not normaly too personal with strangers sometimes spirit will urge me to say something to someone without much thought on my part--it just blurts out. When I was young I didn't trust the gift as much and thought--why did I say that!? Spirit says right now the story has not finished--this too will pass. Seeing the ring on your finger is telling you that indeed the future holds the promise of committment and love you deserve. I see two rings available in the future and you making a choice. Please keep the faith. It's your positive energy that is pulling love towards you now. Let you husband get through his "junk". He needs to pass through the storm before he can see clearly--you can't really be a part of this lone journey because like I said before he has big issues with himself and his perspective---a void HE created and filled without first understanding his reasons. He cannot get down to digging deep into his problems without being forced and she is pushing him there right now without knowing it as she is in the same boat--they mirror each others denial. Some days you will lose the faith but it's really just being tired especially after stressful conflict surfaces but keep your eyes on the diamond! Blessings



  • Dear Blmoon,

    Thank you again for your kind words, you are such a wonderful person, I wish you were close by so we could sit in my gardena dn have a cup oif tea.

    because of you I do try to keep my head up and my heart open, where as before I was like the walking wounded. You have given me hope thank you so much.



  • Blmoon,

    So sorry to bother you again, but life keeps throwing me curve balls. Yesterday was fathersday and my husbands birthday and the boys went to be with him all day. They are all very angry with him, but put it aside for the day and they golfed road around on golfcarts and had a great day together, he even asked them to dinner, but they declined due to other plans. Where was she on his birthday that he spent it with his kids

    Also last night my iddle son got stopped by the police and had his car impounded for a fix it ticket he didn't fix and can't get to work or afford to get his car back. He has been having so much trouble, but has the biggest heart. I don't know what to do.

    I signed up for match.com to just looka dn see if I could find love somewhere and I am just looking, didn't pay for a membership and I am getting lots of hits and winks and replies, they just make me cry and miss my husband more. What is up with that please help me again I feel like I am dying



  • I raised 4 sons. It's a rollercoaster wether your love life is good or not! I have the grey to prove it. These things will pass--usually you help the first time or two and they man up and start feeling embarrassed to call mom. Mostly thier young minds don't realise bad things DO happen untill they do. The mistakes are at a higher price than when they were younger and it takes awhile for them to adjust to the adult world--yes we tell them but they don't listen because mom worries too much. Try not to dwell on your sons learning curve--some kids learn the hard way and it's normal--not everyone advertises their childrens dumb mistakes but you are not alone. What I mean is give it time--immaturity is not always foreever and it's more likely your kids will grow up wiser. Sometimes it is that ones nature to need a strong other and he'll hopefully attract a strong woman who will apreciate his big heart but take over the bills and paperwork! I know it's scary letting them loose into the world and young adults are often expensive for awhile---you probably have friends who can attest to that. Interesting you asked about where the other woman was as I asked myself that question last post--got a crazy image that doesn't add up and wanted to ask you if you had ever met her? I don't want to say the image I saw without understanding why I'm getting it ---spirit told me to wait so maybe nows the time to ask you--have you met her? Seen them together? You signed up for match.com for a good reason---no you are not ready for another marriage which is all you know and there is too much pain still BUT you are intuitively being drawn to other men---you need to feel desired right now--it will so help you to heal--to see yourself positively through another mans eyes is good. Put yourself out there--if dating.com doesn't feel right then try something safer--join a club or take a class--follow your intuition--spirit says you do have good intuition when you are not too stressed out. Perspective is everything--feeling low things look different--feeling rested and hopeful things look better. Your life is stressful--accept that and know these highs and lows are not fixed.



  • To answer your question, yes I have met her, she tried to get him back when we first got together, and then she came back when she had her first child to try again.

    I have also seen pictures of them together from highschool, but have not seen them together since

    I am hopeful my son will get through this alright, but he lives here and his pain is mine right now on top of everything else.

    Do you see me getting back with Ron or should I let it go and meet someone new.



  • Blmoon,

    Blmoon,

    Sorry to interrupt on another’s thread. I woke up one day last week and you immediately came to mind. I thought it strange because other than the always there relationship trouble, my fiancé and I had a change for the better and he has been offered a very good job which I feel will be a positive step for us. He has told me that he will seek professional help for some medication for his depression/anger problems once he has medical insurance. So I am very hopeful right now. But, you name keeps popping up in my head even though I have dismissed this many times. Do you have something to tell me?

    Love and Peace,

    Luvslife



  • dear Blmoon,

    I wanted you to know I repied as someone else jumped in



  • Not this last post but the one you wrote me before this last fathers day event. When he said he wanted to push ahead on the divorce. Later that night as I was going to bed it popped into my head that she didn't exhist--wasn't there---then I saw a man who I knew wasn't him and thought wow somethings changed and felt a bit disapointed I missed it but then reminded myself that it's best not to overthink these things to let it go and spirit told you as much as intended. All the people I connect with day to day I can't possibly carry around so I usually disconnect but on occasion some slip through in a quiet moment and I pick up something more. At first seeing her not there but a strange man I asked oh my is he gay?! But just didn't feel strong about that one--still I saw her NOT THERE. After your answer I feel that as I said about things are rough waters right now between them in fact she has left him off and on pushing him with demands he is trying to meet. And the man I see in "her place" is another man she runs to--she is still attached to another man---SO MUCH DRAMA! I really don't see how much longer your husband can live like that--he does not do well around drama. His health will suffer. Don't worry though spirit really stresses he must get through his junk---it's the key to finding his truth. He's lost himself--he must really understand the truth behind the attraction to her before it is cured and I still see him being cured for life. For you--define waiting--really look at what that means and looks like. Picture it and then choose the healthiest picture. Can you wait without isolation--depression--stagnation--must you close your heart to love?. Choose love. Always choose love. Live more in the moment---the future weighs you down too much and past breaks your heart. Life is telling you something---live in the moment--it's the only certain thing we have.



  • DEar Blmoon,

    I could happily wait forever if I knew he would be mine again forever this time.

    He is the other half of me truley.

    I am so affrad to find someone else only to have him return and then have to hurt someone else.

    Do you see him returning soon



  • Blmoon,

    To rephrase my question, when he is done with her will he find it in his heart to return home to me and the kids. or will he go on to another woman



  • I can definetly say he will not remain with her on a long term basis and their relationship is already very rocky--you would never have truelly been rid of her had this not happened as there was too much of a fantasy attraction between them and she persues him more than he does her so no I don't see him falling in love with another--there is something passive about him that would make it feel awkward. I'm not saying other woman may not try to hit on him and he may be tempted but he is just now beginning to rethink his relationship with you and he is starting to miss that quiet but stable connection married people get used to. Timing is important and if you want a timeline I see the holidays nov dec as a crossroad that could bring him closer to you. He is not really sure about how you have been changed by this---he does not face conflict easily and tends to hide so it is a challange for him to speak his heart at the right time. He may say things just to test your reactions or feelings. It will be easier for him to come back if you are happy--I know that sounds odd but he is afraid of the hurt he has caused and it could make him hide. I don't see you breaking hearts--if you date I don't see it being the big fear you think it is or spirit would be saying no--but so far I have not gotten that message. Right now spirit shows him arguing a lot with her and she has broken off with him even several times--they go back and forth and really he has been playing it by ear day by day because he really did not plan for this in her---she was not honest in her desire to win him she was not showing her true everyday self. Their relationship is very adolescent. Her latest demand blames all their troubles on his not divorcing you quikly. He believed it at first but even as he promises that they still fight and I do see her attachment to another man. Part of her will always be insecure about you because she knows how hard she worked to trap him. I'm assuming the image I received that she really doesn't exhist is a clear message that she will disapear from his life and once he has figured out why he did what he did you will get your apology but I don't see it happening in one magic night because I see him taking some time to clear his head--that will be his exact words. Their will be so much drama and fighting and bitterness between those two that he will just want to be alone for awhile--which is why you must be a happy place because he will be spent emotionaly by the time this trainwreck is over. Just as you are going through so much--he really is too. You are the strong one. He is starting to miss that. Spirit will not give you a magic date he comes back because this is not just about him growing it also is about you fixing your life as well. Seems cruel that you must let go to receive but that is what this demands. I still see you attracting love and an offer to decide. I don't see him staying another six months with this woman. At first it will be on and off but will end. You need constructive distraction until he turns around. You need to be open to making new friends. Don't aproach it as looking for a man. I think you get stuck on that feeling---just get out there and meet new people so spirit can bring you what you need through this. It will keep you from being isolated with your pain. Your pain will pour salt on his guilt and that will not bring him close. You have to truelly find happiness and be true with your forgiveness to make this work. There is nothing you can do to make this go by faster so make the best of this time and believe--really believe he'll come back but live your life as if you will be ok really ok if he didn't. You can do this. Blessings



  • luvslife

    thank you!

    I had to look up the posts during May to connect with you. The conversations about the mother influence are relevent to me in a timely way. Sounds like when you are happy you really tune in. I'm happy your invested efforts in your relationship are showing promise. I'm happy for you. Blessings.

    PS spirit does add a message--the reminder that the wheel called life life goes up and down. How good of you to share in the up and when the wheel goes down always remember up!



  • Nancyeann,

    I apologize for interrupting your conversation. This was really bothering me. I was reading your thread. I have some experience in some regards. My fiance cheated on me once and althougth he did not leave me for this other woman. He continued to see her even after I found out for almost 2 years. I had no idea. Are you sure that you want him back? We still have trust issues revolving around the other woman. He did find out that she was nothing like she portrayed herself and actually was an ex-con and believe me she tried to con him. Eventhough I know she is out of the picture, I feel like another "relationship" for him could open up anytime? Sometimes I wish I would have just let it go and moved on. Just my thoughts. I wish you the best and pray for you to heal during this time.

    Luvslife


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