Captain...Can u help me pls!!!!



  • My name is Tania Mirza and I was born on 20/1/1993. Since last yr June 2009 I have been going through this phase called derealization which is when your perception of surroundings change so that they seem unreal and weird type. It's still been going on until now and however much i try to get out of it i just can't. Every1 says i look ok but they dont actually know what's happening. It;s affecting my studies a lot as well as my social and family life. Can u tell me the cause of this situation, when will it actually end and will everything actually bcome ok as b4 when this situation ends. Thankyou



  • Have you told your doctor about what you are experiencing to determine whether the condition has a physical cause?



  • Is derealization what would normally be called a panic attack?



  • Yes, she referred me to a psychiatrist since last august 2009. My blood tests showed that there was no physical cuase. My psychiatrsist diagnosed me with depression and said that this is part of the depression and when my mood lifts, this would go. I searched on the internet and it says that it happens because of anxiety. My psychiatrists gave me meds which i took for 4 months until december. But my sis told me that they are sddcitive so i shud leave them. Also something used to hapeen to my brain so this was also one of the reasons i left them in January. My psychiatrist said that she might refer me 4 a cbt. This psychiatric nurse who comes to school doesn't actually help much too. I went to the councelor many times at school but she can't help much either as she has to call and ask my psychitrist first. I seriously have no clue what to do. I do feel that I will get out of it hopefully but just don't know when! Also at school i can't talk to people properly (like a normal convo) and feel paranoid sometimes. Can u pls tell me as to why this is happening, when it will actually end, how do i make it ok, and will i be properly normal after this phase finishes. Thankyou



  • Where does your anxiety come from? What causes you the most stress in your life? Meditation, proper nutrition, and physical exercise can help you deal with stress.



  • I don't know myself what it is! Can u jus pls tell me using my dob and my name when this phase will end because it seems like never! thankyou



  • I can't just say when something will end without you doing any work to resolve the problem. It won't happen by magic. You need to think when this problem started and what may have happened to cause it. You cannot fix anything, physical emotional or mental, unless you know what is at the bottom of it.

    What is making you so afraid? You do know the answer - you just don't want to think about it.



  • Also you may be looking at this the wrong way around. The symptoms you experience -"i can't talk to people properly (like a normal convo) and feel paranoid sometimes' - might actually be the cause of your problem. It could be other people who trigger your anxiety. Is there anyone in particular who makes you feel bad?



  • Yh u cud say that. It happened last yr in januway 2009 when my friend introduced me to her new friends, and she started talking to them and i felt left out. I never got an oppourtuintiy to talk to any of them so just bcame really quiet which is quite untypical of me as i do tlk a lot. I used to feel so bored at breaks and lunch. This caused me to stop tlking to other ppl as i tht they might get to kno that i feel left out. Also after sumtime in feb or sumthing whenever i used to say sumthink i used to cum across as confused, werid as i jus never knew wht i was saying! That's y i just stopped tlking to every1 so that they don't find me weird and spread it out. After in june this phase happened. I tht in august after having a break i'll sort things out but thye bcame even worse. I do now tlk a bit to ppl but not in a "me" type of way as they think i'm quiet n it's hard to suddenly change urself as it's likely they won't actyally listen 2 u. ppl at school think i've attitude and that i just don't tlk or probably boring. I don't kno wht to do. I tried getting out of this mindset but everything just pulls me down again. Thankyou



  • Hi Captain,

    I met this guy online 4 days ago and im very much interested in him.He asked me for my number yesterday and told me that he will call me but he didnt.. Im just wondering if hes interested in me or just playn me.. Should I just back off and move on or stay and see if hes interested in me..He told me thts hes interested but Im just wondering if hes lying to me...Tularegrl



  • QuestionaboutMe, you just need to stop worrying about what other people think and concentrate more on yourself. If you always think people are judging you and thinking bad things about you, then you will always be fearful and isolated. In truth, other people are thinking more about themselves and how others think of THEM than they are thinking about you. This a the mistake a lot of self-conscious people make. I lost all my shyness and lack of confidence when I realised that I was ASSUMING that people were talking and judging me, when they were more worried about their own image. In fact the biggest mistake we make with other people is assuming we know what they're thinking. I bet you are being far harder on yourself than other people are.

    Just try talking to people without wondering what they are thinking about you. Ask them about themselves - everybody loves when someone wants to listen to them talk about themselves. I think you'll find your panic attacks and shifting reality will disappear as soon as you stop trying to run away and hide yourself from other people. Believe me, other people are just as afraid as you are of not being liked. Nobody is born self-confident - it's something you have to learn how to develop.

    So that's your 'homework' - engage someone in conversation without wondering what they're thinking about you or being afraid they won't like you. Fear is strongest when we do nothing about it and keep it inside. Be brave! And most important of all, be yourself. People can smell a false front a mile off and they don't like someone pretending to be other than what they really are. 🙂



  • Tularegrl, can you please start your own thread by going to the top of the page and clicking on "Create a new topic." This is questionaboutMe's thread.



  • I know what u mean but trust me I did try but nothing worked. It's really hard once u isolate urself n then try to talk to ppl as they think ur really quiet. I just don't have anything to say anymore and i get soo bored...i do try talking but like i start a topic but can't carry on.

    Can u tell me if i will ever be able to improve using my dob, is it part of my destiny or sumthing that i've caused? Also, it's affecting my studies....will i be able to do well and get a good job?

    Thankyou



  • It is part of your destiny to come out of yourself and to help others do the same.This experience is just so that you will understand how to help other people find the same sort of healing. But you have to put in some effort - not just give up because you failed one time. Keep trying and it will become easier the more you talk to people. If you can't do it for yourself, think of all the people who are waiting for you to be able to help them with their problem.

    Think up some questions beforehand so you will not be struck dumb when you meet up with someone. Just a simple "How are you going in school? wasn't that test awful?" or "what do you think of that teacher Mr. So-and-so?" or "That oil slick is terrible. I'm worried about the threat to the wildlife" (or some current affairs topic) is enough to start a conversation. If you get bored, that's your fault - change the topic to something that you think is interesting.

    Just don't give up if you want to work through this problem.