Lost and Confused. Blmoon could you plz help

  • I have been married as of today 11 years to an amazing Libra. He has changed. Not sure what it was, but something snapped in him a few years back and he has been spiraling downhill ever since. This negative change has destroyed the relationship between him and his daughter and ours. He has asked for a divorced several times over the course of the last year, but he has taken no action, and finally told me that he won't (just not enough money to do it or servive apart). I finally broke through my own walls and unloaded my deep concerns about how his actions and words reveal a changed man, and he really needs to do some deep soul seeking to clean up his act. If not for us, for himself. If and when we split he needs to grow and overcome these negative destructiveness in himself to find that grass is greener desire. Oh my heart aches. Sorry. I am trying not love him so much, but that's going against my true nature and my heart. I am tired of gettin hurt and then angry because his negative actions still hurt so much. Do you have any advice, guidence or insight on where we have been, where we are now, and where we are going. Both for me and where he stands (there I am just always so clueless)? My (Michelle) birhdate is 4/5/1975 and his (Todd) is 9/23/1070. Our wedding date was 5/20/1999. So that makes today our 11 th Anniversary, and last night he let out that he forgot about it, and that he wasn't going to get me anything anyway, becaue of the tight funds. Followed by, "oh, by the way happy anniversary." That hurt so much I broke....and wound up releasing it as anger. I am just so heart broken and confused I can't sit still or focus. Please help, and soon.


  • passion4living

    you should be living up to that screen name! Your most brilliant self is hidden beneath all this pain gathering drama. You two are at a tug of war--victims in a circle of pain. Both of you mirror so much pain--fear-abandonment issues and just plain selfloathing. You are both light and dark and trying to heal the dark side of you to make yourself whole. You need to break the cycle or nothing changes. Change must be a choice or the same thing will go around. You are both being toxic. He unleashes his pain on you and you gather it thinking you deserve it at a core level. Stop putting your loving worth in his hands--so he's a jerk on your birthday--your life should be full of birthday wishes and if it is not you buy yourself those flowers or that little something you wanted. You make yourself a nice dinner or go out with a girlfriend. Choose love! No arguing no tears--you find love where it grows. You must take responsability for "choosing pain". Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and the rest will solve itself. You are addicted to him in a way that keeps you stuck. I see you are ready to try something different. Change the way you react to him and it interupts the circle you two get stuck in. Spirit says when you are truelly tired of it you will be open to change. Do it differently. Choose life. Every moment is preciouse. When you get so tied up with him you miss out on your own life.

  • Thank you for replying, forgive my delay in responding had to let what you said sink in. I am learning to live up to my screen name espcially with my life altering heart condition diagnosed 8/09, put on heart critical 9/09, and heart surgery 3/17/10, whew. I agree we are war vicitims both literally and psychically. It wasn't my birthday that he forgot it was our 11th marriage anniversary, ouch. I am learning to treat myself, but at home and focusing on tending to my health and simple little beauty treatments. I am defusing so well possible arguable points that unless he just loses it over nothingness...again I still don't slam back (silence is golden). I agree that I have allowed the pain/victimization, No More!!! I do what I want, respect others, and if they don't to join in the fun or relaxing time, there loss. I am overcoming fears. weaknesses, or whatnots that he had the or rather I gave him the upper hand on. Granted, I have a few really sore points, ouch. Not sure how to get over those yet. Still milling things over...

  • Change is unsettling at first--we become used to auto pilot and good change involves effort because we begin making choices that we don't "feel" like doing. It's like we must be the new tough love mother to ourselves--the bottom line is we know it is good for us--just do it and the pay off comes later so we must face the anxiouse present moments of learned habit. The birthday reference was not meant to be literal just represents any special occasion he neglects you. It's the area of "should haves" that tie you up. You need to let go when they pop up. You can express your hurt momentarily as it is real but then comes "choice". Choice is all we have--otherwise you are victim--and yes it is very HEAVY on the heart to be in that place of loss. You can feel the hurt but then you choose to gather love--examine your life from different greatful eyes and recite your thankful list. This helps before sleep. You can start with--feeling your toes--I am thankful for my toes and let the list go on--thankful for my comfy bed--my room--two strong legs. This raises your vibration and attracts blessings into your life. If you dwell on loss you attract more of that energy and the cycle never stops going around. This could be a very healing time for you. You can do this. Blessings to your great big loving heart!

  • hello!

    It´s like this, yesterday I was a photoshoot for a store and I saw this guy, I got a feeling in my stomache that I just could not leave without giving him my number, there was something about him so I walked in after the photoshoot and gave him my number on a piece of paper

    Can you please answer the following questions?

    Will he call or send a textmessage?

    Is he single?

    Did he laugh and threw it away?

    Will something happen between us? Like, will it turn into a relationship?

    Is he intersted or not?

    His name is Julios, that is all I know

    I´m born 1989 11th of august but I don´t know about him, my guess is that he is either just under 25 or just over.The reason to why I ask is because I just couldn´t get him out of my mind, it was like my intuition told me: You have to give him your number, take contact or you´ll regret it, I would never have done something like that if I didn´t see that there was something special about him, or am I lying to myself?

    Or should I still hope for Bill being the one I am meant to spend my life with? Bill´s birthdate is 1st of september 1989

  • With the freight train he cosmos and God hit me with in the health department in May of 09. My perspectives on all aspects of life have changed so positively for the better. ie...im washing clothes=i am blessed to have clothes to put on the backs of those I love, i am blessed to have a washer to wash the clothes, etc.. I agree I still let myself get hung up on some ouchies, but I am getting so much better at riding the feeling out, then placing them in the past moment to embrace the new moments in front of me. I hope I am on the right track.

  • passion4living

    good for you you--you got the message and have taken it "to heart". Be kind to yourself as it's not all or nothing but a constant habit to maintain--some days are stronger than others but we just dust off and do better. Keep this lesson alive and no more trains will sneak up on you! Blessings

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