Gemini husband help
hey star2u. glad to hear from you again. ur msgs have truly touched my heart. i am normally a strong trooper but sometimes i forget and need a reminder. i have been seeking help from family, friends and even a counselor. things get rougher each passing day but i know none of it will be easy. i am being greedy with my feelings and plans. i do feel somewhat guilty bc it's not who i really am to be dirty but i have learned in order to beat him at his own game im gonna have to get dirty like him. its so much about control and me being his trophy. its sickening really. i have really been working on myself physically to be in better shape. i have done well and am proud of myself. then i get the little comments like oh you look good, i need some of that. never - hey you have done a good job and im proud of you. he plays my kids against me. thats what hurts the most. my kids are 10 and 13 and having to deal with this crap. heaven forbid we act like adults and act civil. he will have it no other way but to make himself look glorified while bashing me in the ground. not physically- aint no thang for me too kick a mans as* but verbally to my kids. makes me sound like a monster. my kids are my life and i have been a good mother. they will eventually figure out all of the truth just by observing. wow! how have i allowed myself to get sucked into this crap? owell, no use in crying over spilt milk. its taught me a huge lesson. i just hope i can get out soon. its all i have to act like im alright and wanna be there. i just want out!!! thanks for your advise and support. i need all i can get right now. hopefully i can post my success story on here when i make it out. lol hope u have a wonderful day. you are truly a star. i now thank you every time i see a bright star shining down on me bc i know you are out there reminding me to stand tall and do what i gotta do to make it. thanks a million:)
Hello"Starangel" thank you so much but i believe you are the true star. i m going to try to open your eyes but only you can make your journey out of this
Yes, there is a game but remember you didnt come to him in first place to see who is playing this game the best. you came to him because you loved him
i know it can be difficult to remember that time but you need to not try to beat him in any game
this is your heart that you are bleeding each time and each time you are playing the game and thinking you are out , you are actually not
if you want out try to dissociate from him, do things because you want to do them not because it will bother him or anything about him
Live for you, for once
i know its easy for me to talk but dont worry about your children or anyone else going against you, your children will always be your children and they also are his
you cant control which side your children will take, thats their choice
before anything i brought those books this week
i advice you to get them, after you get them you can decide what you need to do
you know there is something in this world, good and evil
but i truly believe that Love and God always win
find yourself again and you will see a new path for you
learn to forgive him and try to forgive yourself
let go of the pain, focus on you, leave him alone, he has his own battle to deal with
try to walk in this road without fear
fear of losing your life, fear of losing him, fear of losing your children, fear of losing you
the book i wanted you to check out are : The Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome by Beverly Engel and Narcissm: denial of the true self by Alexander Lowen and losing a love, finidng a life by Susan Jeffers.
try to get those books please and then you can decide what you need to do
also try to recorded your pain, talk about how you feel , record it and then listen to it ( you will see something amazing happening, listening to yourself in the pain wake you up it’s like listening one of your child telling you about something terrible someone did to them)
you need to be reborn again, find yourself
i m doing to keep working on this and you can always reach me i check my post so you are not alone be strong but learn forgiveness
forgiveness is the first step to freedom and compassion
"Starangel" be strong ok
star2u, your words of wisdom really touch me. i needed that. this is the kind of encouragment i need. the kind that leads me to continue doing it the right way. that is what i have been trying to do. i don't wanna get out of this and have regrets. i am not doubting the need to get out. i just wanna get out in a decent manner for all involved. i do not wanna be dirty as that jus isn't me. i am trying to take all the right steps and go in peace instead of acting hastly and leaving in anger which affects me, him and my children. i am trying so very hard to stay strong. i am trying to stay true to myself. each struggle he and i have seems to somehow make me even stronger in the end. i do care for him and i don't wanna hurt him anymore than i have to. this is about me find myself and living for me. i just don't wanna appear to be a demon by going. by slowly taking my time with this and mapping out a plan i have been able to find some peace within myself and strengthen my relationship with my kids. also, i think he is starting to see the light. not to say he isn't still begging and pleading for me to work things out. he continues to do that daily because he knows he is loosing me. i have tried to convince myself to be in love with him and to stay bc its wat would be best for the kids but i can not force myself to be in love with someone. i have tried and the heart just don't lie. i remain the same. i hope to move forward sooner than later as my staying too long could just make things worse. i will deff look for those books as soon as i can. thank you so very much for your support and for saying the things i need to hear. i am fortunate to have found you here. god was watching out for me again. he continues to put ppl in my life that open my eyes and make me stronger. thank you so much!
"Starangel" all i can say is Get those Books, ASAP and then you can decide, those books will open your eyes on things like you never thought before
please get them ASAP, especially the "Jekyl and hide"
i m not sure if you dont love him anymore or your emotions are just bloked inside of you, whatever it is give a real change to him, yourself and your kids, GET the book
kinda confued by your last post. i will deff get the book asap. confused on the not sure if i love him part. can you elaborate on this. i do love him but not in love with him. do not want an intimate close relationship with him. however, i want and will have to have a "parent" relationship with him due to our kids. sorry ima lil slow sometimes. lol please explain.
Hi"Starangel" it's too early to decide if you still love him or not or you still want to be with him or not, because all of this problem you have closed down but when you will start to understand the reason why things are happening and how you can deal with them your feeling about him will be more clear to you
at the moment you are scared about him and scared to open up to him
you need to feel more in control of your emotion and the situation before your real feel can reveal themselves to you
you need to be ready to help yourself and be ready to help him in this road, it's a tough and long road but in end it will be worth it for your family, be positive
i m going through some tough things too with mine but i manage to get back my power and right now i m sending you all i have, you are not alone , everything is going to get better because you are now in charge of your life
alright star2u. i gotcha now. you are right, i am just now becoming in control of my own life. i know for sure what i want just gotta find my way there. i am getting there slowly but surley. i am a strong person and i will survive this. it so much helps to have your support and advice. i am taking my time so i will know that i can justify all my choices to myself. i am finally rediscovering myself and trying to get out of the "comfortable bc its what im used to" stage. i have to start living for myself first. thats the hard part. ive always put everyone in front of myself. life is short though so im on this new journey to living a real life. please know that i am here to listen if you need to talk too. you have been so helpful to me and i hope sometime i can repay the favor. thanks for being you!
"Starangel" you can repay me but getting yourself together, Woman sometimes give too much and put everything and everyone before them and then they get tired and get frustrated and they are not happy.
Yes, you need to get yourself together have a life and hobbies and friends
go to Gym, get a new haircut, new style, get yourself together
then Get those books they have open my eyes to identify what is happening around me and with the man in my life
It's going to get Better Darling, it's going to get better because you are going to make it better but before you making anything better you need to be happy
dont put your happiness second before anything else because everything around you depend of that happiness
you need to understand that
dont be too focus on him , he has issues and his suffering too right now, offer your friendship to him, forgive him for not be the man you are expecting to have
give each other a real chance to know and meet each other again
people change but we just dont realise it sometimes
so it's time to start from new base
this situation will teach your children an important lesson
but first find your happiness, make sure you find that first and then you will see what you need to do for yourself , everything will be clear
be friendly to him, not point bring the past, look for new solution
Wow, all mentioned here about Gemini man is so true, i am trying to get over one now and this sure helped me to stay away!
Hello'"Atuzsenka" it's scary isnt it, you feel like other people was under your bed when you see how much we know ahahah
it's scary for sure, i learn to stay away ever it hurt , oh boy i scared to lose myself
before it was hard to stay away now it seem impossible for me to considering to come back aahah
Hello"Starangel" how are you?
Warning to saglov10 and to anyone involved with a Gemini man. . . I am going to tell you my vast experience of two marriages to one. And over twenty two looooong years of hell. Two words for ya. Jekyll and Hyde. You will never know the person inside. Theater and manipulation. In my situation, I honestly would rather be dead. To be constantly manipulated 10 ways to Sunday over whether he put the peanut butter up and have the rage and tantrums all the time is more than I can wrap my mind around. Don't explain yourselves. Just get the hell outa there girlfriends. You are fodder for the prey. And he will turn on you like Attila the Hun in and without a moments notice. Check Obama who is ascendant Gemini. He is all about change. And he is unscrupulous about how he gets it, as long as it is all about HIS agenda and HIM, right?
Been there, Done That
Hi"Simplefolk" i tottally agree, my god is so scary, you try to understand those guys but something is seriously wrong the manipulation and the damn roller coaster everything need to work for them they dont care about you
Starangel i find something that you need to check out please get in touch thanks
Hi guys just wanted to say that some people are Narcissists, some are Sadists, some are even Schizophrenic. Its more down to character and mental state of mind than sun signs. I am a gemini myself and the opposite of whats been described here. Im introverted and loyal and put 100% into my relationships, usually to my disadvantage. Although i can believe Gemini men could be fickle cheats, my dad and my brother are both Gemini and u couldnt meet 2 nicer blokes, both loyal and caring. I have dated men of most signs except gemini, because i never met one i wanted to be with, but a Sagitarius was cold and distant, a Capricorn beat me up, a Scorpio lied and betrayed and my last, a Libra was the opposite of easy going and balanced. WE matched on paper, it was just down to character more than anything and i learned about the mental conditions i mentioned above. The problem is these men are out there, in the community and the workplace and they dont have warning signs on their head. The best advice i ever heard ( on Ricki Lake) was people only do what you let them do. I had never thought of it like that before, that I have the power, not them. So stay strong girls and dont let them do it - whatever their star sign ! x
star2u. sorry i've kinda been out of the loop. been out of town with my kids. very interested in hearing from you as i'm in one of those funks right now and totally running in circles. have had some pretty emotional days and would love to hear back from you. your words always seem to lift me back up. thanks so much for believing in me even when i forget how to believe in myself.
Hi"Starangel" Please stay strong, no one said it will be easy to fix this issue and no one said that you have to fixed on your own
have you had time to investigate on Narcissists characteristic yet? it's important first that you identify what kind issue you are really facing, after when you find that out it's easier to work around it or out of it?
i find out that the guy i was seeing is suffering from Narcism and not sure how deep it is but this is why things has been difficult with him
i have yet to get a chance to go get the books u told me too. i will do some research online until i can get them tho. time and money has been real tight on top of dealing with my disaster. i am trying to stay strong but it keeps getting harder. i know i can do it, just in a slump. too much time around my gemini. he smoothers me so much that i loose touch with reality sometimes- just by putting myself in my secretive quite imaginary world. i just hold it all in to avoid confrontation. this wknd was all about my kids and i wasn't gonna be selfish and make it about me or the probs going on. just swallowed my pride and had to suck it up for their sake. i know he loves me dearly but omg!- it's more like an obsession and it's really getting creepy at times. getting back to feeling like im totally loosing my mind.