Gemini husband help
Hey to all, Im new here and just wanted to ask a question to anyone who has been married or in a long relationship with a Gemini man. I have been married for 3 years and with him for 4years. Married too soon big mistake. Well he cheated on my the first 3 years, with online dating and talking to ex girls on the phone. I accepted his apology and took him back.I don't expect him to kiss my butt in anyway, but he still disrespects me by saying hurtful things out of the blue. I decided on yesterday that I had enough. He then proceeded and begged me on his knees to stay with him and kinda of shed a tear, I dont know could have been a act. Stood in the doorway with a puppydog face and saying he will never find anyone like me ever again. I still told him you are driving me insane and you gotta go! He then said you saw me cry and get on my knees and beg and you still don't want me? I felt bad for him once again, and he's still here. How do I know hes sincere, I mean I'm at a lost..I need help from this. He said he will do whatever it takes to stay with me and we are looking into counseling.
I've found that gemini's are just way too fickle. Their split personality has a tendency to shift without warning. One minute, they're sweet, sincere and lovey dovey, the next they're insulting you and being super stuck up and edgy.
I hate it. I tried to date a gemini for a year and it ended horribly. He was manipulative and controlling and insulted me all the time. He also neglected me a LOT and I found out that he was screwing around on a lot of online dating/webcam sites. He refused to change. That's not to say that yours will do the same. I guess someone has to love them : P
In all seriousness, I would sit him down and make (or try to) him understand just what he's doing and what the consequences are if he continues. Find a way to make him see that you're serious.
I agree with Capcake that you will have to make him understand the consequence but even after that you should be alert.
Geminis are usually bad news. I say "usually" so I don't upset some sensitive person either dating one, or existing as one. In MY experience, I've dated two Geminis and both crashed-n-burned...Coincidentally, it was for the same reasons: They both were all about image, physicality, sexuality, self-absorbed, the life of the party, etc.
The problem with Gemini men is that they are two things: Smooth talkers and loads of fun. This is what lures women in. They know it, too. They LOVE to yap your head off, and initially it's entertaining, because usually Gemini men have a great sense of humor--they make you smile. The problem is they're charmers, and not saving that charm just for you. You are not exclusive. To them, all the world's a stage, and every woman is an enticing audience for them.
It's not about you; it's about THEM--always. You are simply a pawn in their game of fun. This isn't to say they can't love or are always fake; it's just that in the end, they are the King and they will ultimately look out for their best interest. Because they are The Twins, they ultimately look out for the darker side of them that is flighty and must now flutter to a new flower and the next conquest. It is...just their nature.
Be warned that their definition of love will probably never be equivalent to yours, and this is usually why it's so frustrating--they say they love you, but if cheating and being flighty are love, who wants it? Their definition of love is a much more carefree standard. True, actual love scares them, because Geminis don't ever want to be "held down" or feel "out of control." Ironically, their life is usually flighty, and many would see it as out of control in some ways, but they don't see it that way...In the end, they're just in a constant state of confusion, bouncing back and forth on what they really want.
I personally would not buy your man's crap. Heck, I wouldn't stay with someone who cheats anyway, and it sounds to me like you're saying he cheated THROUGHOUT the marriage, which means, he cheated MORE THAN ONCE. That is not a mistake at that point; that is a LIFESTYLE CHOICE. Please see this difference and get rid of him.
No amount of counseling is going to secure your position at night, when you lie awake wondering why he is an hour late coming home--is he broke down or is he messing with "Bar Stool Sally" down at the local pub? Do you really wanna live with every night wondering what he's pulling next? It's more about what you're willing to live with, than whether it's your obligation to "be the greater person" and "forgive him" and put up with it.
Your post has made me well educated on Gemini men. I am currently interested in one now, and am very hesitant about him. I don't think I'm up for that challenge, So I just wanted to thank you for educating me on that subject, saving me a whole lot of heart break. lol
Saglove, I don't know if counseling will help because this is the trait of a Gemini Man. I have been with a Gemini man and boy was it a roller coaster and still is. Just ask yourself is he worth the heart pain? Until he realize that you are the one and until he knows that your going to stick with your words he will continue.. H E L L they stick to what they say. And then don't mind hurting your feelings.. H E L L find a way to hurt his. Have you seen that movie called Two Can Play that Game. I am sure there are things that can hurt him. Are you a Sag as a zodiac sign? If not what is you sign?
"Peachyplanet, and"Worthy" BRAVO BRAVO, yeah those guys understanding of love is really miles way from ours, i think they love the game and the chase, and i completely agree bring the game to him, take his on his knees
The H E L L with those guys
It's not that I don't like my Gemini guy, I do I'm so in love with this guy, But, sometimes you have to give a taste of their own Medicine. Just act like you have drop off the face of the earth and lose contact.. This will gey them to thinking. I am not bashing them at all, but all of this tells me no one has ever put them in theit place or has hurt therir feelings. And those who has dealt with a Gem man knows that they are very sensitive. THEY are very sensitive. I have also learned that they atr tic for tac. That's the inmature part of them.
Hello “Saglove” i just responded to ‘libraire” too,
seriously ladies, what’s up with those guys, hey??? or should i say those boys, it seem they are looking for serious war, come on girls lets give it to them
don't worry what he did right there, we all lived it, you other there with your one , me here with mine ( well not anymore, oh feel so good now) and Libraire with hers
they push you to get mad and to want out the relationship and then they cry, beg and chase you like mad
it’s to really wonder Ladies , “what’s was wrong about the way i loved you before????”
you are married to him honey and its been 3 years and he been doing it and i m sure still doing it 3 times, come on girl give him a bite of his own medicine
make him cry for good reason this time
make him suffer a bite, his been a really bad boy that is begging for his kick, please don't be shy and give him your best shot
i be you i will ask him to move out and then i will start dating or just plain Business i will let him stay and invite people around
all those people are doing is to diminishing women to be their slave and taking their shite
Hey hey he maybe bored honey, giving him something to think about at night i m pretty certain he will love it
it’s game honey and in this one you need to aware how to play it and bit him to it
in way, it give some kind spice to the relationship and plus you are standing for your own right
his walking over you like a 3 years old and smile on his face, he cry and play the guilt face when you get made but it;s not really sincere
he like to cry make him cry
what all those guys need to tell us woman is what they want” what you i got it” but they playing with own emotion against
come on show him what a real woman is made of and what a real man should have bloddy learn
you know him now for long time, show him a new woman that is going to take him to dust
Charming Gemini men, Women have the natural skills to that job, come on have fun and make him suffer a bite
i m sure you felt horrible each time you find out about his affair, a game and the game shouldnt never be played alone, whatever he can do ,you surely can double it
and bring it on
"Worthy" you are so right i also think people are taking their shite to easy, someone need to serve them their medicine nice and cold, i love mine to death and i really care for him but hey hey, It's actually because you love them that you are going to take the time to think hard how to give him exactly what he been giving to you Darling
i kind think this is what they are after a good kick i m sure they will love you then
golden rule inanymarrital art is: look what weapon your anamy is using and punch him with it
ok darlin, listen up. i have been with a gemeni for 18yrs. 12 yrs of that married. first let me start by saying that i have had amny wonderful times with my husband. we made 2 beautiful children and nothing could ever compare to them. my entire marraige has not been a disaster but........ it has always been filled with uncertainty. we have very much struggled esp. over the past yr and i have finally discovered that i have allowed him to rape me of my own individuality. i have been the wife and the mother but not much of myself. if you continue in your relationship with this man that has cheated on you and put you thru heck then beg for forgiveness-sister you are gonna end up being as miserable as i am and trust me- it sucks. i myself am kinda in a pinch now bc i know i must get outof this marraige to save myself but having kids makes it more difficult. i am leaving him but only after i get my ducks in a row. the hardest part is waiting. patience is something i wasn't blessed with. for yrs my gemeni man has been very controlling, says horrible things to hurt me then says how sorry he is and that he was just mad. always demands sex- bc i'm his wife and i owe that to him. it's always about him.i have allowed him over time to make me feel weak, vulnerable, unworthy, unconfident, and useless. this however, was my own fault for allowing it to happen. does any of this sound familiar? trust me girl, i have waited for mine to change for as long as we have been together and- IT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN
gemeni's are set in stone. they are who they are. not that they are terrible people bc that isn't it. he is a wonderful person and a terrific father. as far as being the perfect man for me- not at all. i still love this man very much which makes me feel guilty for leaving but i am not in love with him. i have to put myself first for once and take care of me. ya see, i was taught at a very early age that i would have to depend totally upon myself bc my future lies in my own hands. if i live an unhappy life and just settle instead of searching for my own happiness then i have noone to blame for misery but myself. there are a lot of people out in the world that are real. look within yourself and see who you are and who you wanna be. myself- all i want is to just be myself - to be real. life is too short to just settle for what you have. if it isn't all you desire- by gosh get up and go get yourself a plateful of happiness. i would rather be happy and alone then to be with someone and miserable. your man has cheated babe- my did too and trust me- those memories will never disappear. my husband cheated many yrs ago and it still haunts me to this day. you deserve better. get out while you can babydoll and stop letting him have controll of your happiness and destiny. it's all in your hands. please remember to always be true to yourself. gemeni's are who they are and are not gonna change. you deserve more outta life and love than what your man is giving.- get your head on straight, buckle up and shoot for the stars. you'll make it just fine and will be gr8
Starangel, thanks so much. Those word that you are speaking are so deep. I have love this Gemini man for yrs and has just started to see his other side. It is to bad that thos is how they are. My question is, do they know that they are that type of person? It seems like you have been so much with your husband. Everyone that I know is married to a Gemini man is Divorced. Gemini could be one of the most sweet ppl and on the other hand so hard to deal with. I asked myself are they happy wth who they are? Thanks for sharing your very touching story. Be safe and happy :). One other thing I want to mention is that I hate starting over. But, I know I have to be true to myself.
ya know, funny you should ask if they realize the way they are. thats the sad part. i know with mine- he really don't get it. they do things or say things to hurt you and think bc they say sorry that it should be ok and you should get over it. i tried that for a long time and it continues to get harder bc things never change. they can be so wonderful but when things don't go their way- its right back to the same song and dance. i have tried to help mine overcome this but ya know, they gotta help themselves. i don't have anyone scraping up my broken pcs for me to fix me nor do i want anyone to. in times like this- as has been my entire life is that you have to be responsible for you own self. its so much more rewarding that way. its easy to wanna stick around to try to help them but let me tell you. its so very hard and you end up putting your own happiness aside and then everyone still ends up miserable. i myself hate change more than anything but sometimes its necessary to survive. its the times that are the hardest that make you stronger. you will be ok. don't settle for less than you deserve. you owe it to yourself honey. a few quotes for you..... you are not stuck where you are unless you choose to be. giving up doesn't mean you are weak. it means you are strong enough to let go!.......you never know how strong you are- until being strong is the only choice you have. i read these everyday to remind me that it's ok to be scared and that the new journey i am beginning is so full of sunshine and shooting stars on the other end. as i always say- keep your chin up, shoulders back and be proud of who you are. stand up what what you believe in and keep it real. it'll be worth it in the long run. promise!
My God, all that you just mention is just what i went through with the guy i was seeing
i didnt properly date him but i felt slowly losing myself, my self esteem, doubting myself, feeling the up and down and constant uncertainty
feeling that the whole deal was all about him
be next to him and hearing his voice talking about his issues and himself all the time
he never ask anything about me
i felt sucked away inside his world but in same time i was sucked in that world, it was a world i couldn't live and exist
i tried to believe in his good side and give him credit and tried to be there for him
but by wanting to be there for him, you actually not there for yourself
your needs are not met and you don't ever realise it focusing too much on his need
but thats exactly what he want
i have never seeing him worry about how much he hurt me or ever wondering what i may need
it’s was all the time about him and full of himself and in love with his plan and looks
Yes, i also felt that when he say quickly sorry that should make up for everything, they expect you to just get over it
if you start to put your good heart in the hand of such person and try to be there for them and to give them credit you will see slowly, you will loss your peace and the connection with your inner happiness
Love suppose making you feel good not dead
you suppose caring about both of you not just one way
for me and him, thanks God it was short but i m more then thankful i find the strength to let go, to cut contact and to get back to myself and believe on my worth
“Starangel” thank you so much for your writing and i m sorry you had this experience but your experience will help many and the strength that you show now will be remember
wow! its so amazing that others see it like i do. its took me so long to open my eyes to this. it took him sucking the life out of me to see it. i am just now getting to where i can talk about it and my gosh, it feels good getting feedback from others so i don't feel like i am being selfish for thinkin this way. i still have a long journey to go as far as getting out but i am slowly taking it step by step.i will take each failure and hard time and use it as strength. it is nothing more than a brick in my wall that forms a foundation to success. wish me luck as i am about to go thru so much getting out. i will make it one day at a time though. glad to hear that star2u got out too. can't wait to start living again. thank you for listening to my garb. never imagined it would make me feel as relieved as it does to hear others stories that are obviously bout the same. at least i don't feel so alone anymore. as much hurt and pain as we have all been thru- remember that god brings certain people in our lives to teach us a lesson. it's a potential challenge to keep ones mind and spirit strong. if yal are anything like me- we always take the long way around. gotta find out the hard way. but.... those are the times that make us stronger and build our character. thats when we discover who we really are. so from my expierence i will take my pride and go on knowing im pretty darn strong and i can make it all by myself. thanks for helping me keep my head up. hope i can do the same for yal.:)
Please" Starangel" you are not alone, anytime you want to talk you can reach me, i m not done with this i m doing some deep understanding right now
dont stay alone and dont think for a minute that you are alone, we woman need to support each other and i understand what you been through
" Starangel" i been strong all my life there is something about been strong, when you are strong people assume you can handle anything and everything
listen to me, i think this time you need to allow yourself to be a little bite weak and reach for support from other around you that want to be there for you
the only reason i noticed his Game from the start is because i was very connected to myself and my need
i noticed myself more and more going down and only wanted to live for him
1. is you need to forgive him, you really need to
2. you need to forgive yourself to not be able to continue this journey with him and forgive yourself to not have been there for you during the hard time with him
this is not a time for you to be strong and close your emotions again inside, get them out, cry, cream, smile, nurturing yourself
be there for what you forgot to be
give yourself what you didnt get
i m looking right now in study of Jekyll and Hyde, it's possible that the conflict those people feel is so deep they are not that responsible of what is happening
when you have some time , could dear share some example of his change of mood with me
i noticed so many people doubt themselves when they are with those people and this what you should do, doubt yourself
if you decide to go forward with the matter you need to know that you decide that not him manipulating is way
i was to share what i find with you and what i will find on my way
the first things i learn in this is to be there for you first. GET OUT the first minute you feel you cant do it or you feel not comfortable
find yourself again and you will see, he cant touch and nothing can touch you if you dont let them
correcting this,(i noticed so many people doubt themselves when they are with those people and this what you should do, doubt yourself
i mean you shouldnt doubt yourself, stay close to your feeling
and whatever the issue, don't drag yourself with him
sometimes we want to help the people around us but sometimes we cant, we need to let other people like professional help them. it's better that way because you are too emotionally involve with them
we assume with those Guys that their bad side come from time to time and we assume the nice guy is the real guy BUT there is absolutely no evidence that actually the bad guy is not the real person hiding under the nicer guy that you first met
think about it
noone will want to be with someone nasty, isnt it , so some people will hide a nasty character under a nice one that is more acceptable to other and then change suddenly
i truely believe that those change are base on suppressed unfulfilled need and desire that have not been expressed
when i was with that guy i felt sometimes he wanted to attach me but couldnt because i was not yet that close to him
i think they exploded and abuse people that are only close to them because they know you cant break things with them that easy, you are some sort extension to them in way
we need to be careful who we let in our life and the only way you can protect yourself is to be close to yourself and be with someone because his making you happy not because"
he giving some up and down feeling to you
not because his living for himself and making you the living reflection of his greatness
always be honest how you feel and how the situation making you feel and this is when you need to be tough with your feeling and protect yourself
take time to pull away and analyse your feeling,
yes analyse your feeling only not his, taking him out the picture and focus slowly and how certain situation really made you feel
BELIEVE AND BELIEVE that you are made of Gold and you are Worth only the best
dont touch your value, stand by them, ask help from the universe and people will help you to come out of it
i pull away from him i manage to anger him to make him go, my heart is suffering but i know i did the best for me
when you start you will be fighting a lot with your own emotion and not him yet and then you will see yourself coming back to you slowly and slowly you get your peace again and your connection with your need and happiness
it will feel like you been out of a nightmare first
after this you know you made it
the change can be slow with some back and forward thinking or yes the change can start straight away
it depend how much you want your happiness with yourself again
if you keep worry about him, anything about him or about anyone else in this stage you will fall back where you started believe me on that one
this is the time to be selfish, Learn from him, he TEACHED you something important in this battle it's time you show your skills
Hi"Starangel" How are you? i wanted to say. you know his good side and bad side, trying to not believe that it's not a part of him because it is
people dont just change because of stress or being tired, some people hide their dark side when they dont know you but then as soon they know you and you become very close to them, they show it up and you get shocked by what you see
reach for help and support from friend and family
learn to trust your judgment, it;s not right when someone get abusive or through things at you
some people use it in some kind control
i have manage to stay far from Mine but he was never mine, we saw each other few times so its not like we were boyfriend and girlfriend
still i feel more in peace now