99 Million Problems and Joy ain't one!
I'm so confused and Icurrently feel mostly myopic. There was a time I had a girlfriend or three I could call for advice or a different perspective. Now all I have is my mother and boy friend and fear, pride, need for privacy, and objectivity ensures my mouth stay's glued instead of crying out for the ear I need. There are over 9 million on this site, maybe the anonymity in the multitude and the good natured spirit amongst many things will send the right advice my way.
I live with two room mates and the one I share a bathroom with is making my life hell. From not flushing the toilet, to blood in the bath tub and toilet, to body fluids in the sink, poop soiled tissue in the bin and on and on. His filthy habits make my skin crawl and I have tried everything (talking, writing a letter, setting a cleaning schedule, having a house meeting, getting angry) with the hopes of reasoning with him to make it stop to no avail. Broaching the subject resulted in childish behavior, to bickering, to talking about me to his friends while i'm in the house and on and on.
I have reached my breaking point...tonight it was having company over, yelling and wrestling in the kitchen...my room is right next to it and the noise woke me up. Unfortunately I cannot go back to sleep when this happens so here I am at 3:30am eastern very frustrated. I am upset that I did everything I could including burn a 7 day candle during my search for an apartment and yet here I am in a crappy situation. I am also stewing over the fact that i was called a bitch tonight and I chose the high road despite the fact that everything in me wanted to smash someone's face in.
When i complained to the other roommate whom I sublet from what did he do? He confessed to having the same problems when they shared a bathroom (he has a private one now) and finally asked me to move out when the problem continued to escalate. They are and have been friends for years, I just came in the picture 3 months ago. The block is insurmountable artistically, I have been unable to worship, I no longer take long baths (my stress reliever) due to the disgusting nature of the bathroom, I stay in my room when i'm not out and if you cannot tell i'm very unhappy. I can see why there are bad people out there...it would be easy to put a curse on them and this house but i believe I am more intuitive than than. It is summer time, I doubt I will find anything suitable by months end even though I will give it my all....again.
What should I do? My other roommate want's to talk but I have said all that I can. Articulation is not a problem for me and I have no clue how else to express myself. I don't want to ask him to choose me over his friend, it's happened to me before and it sucked. I try to keep in mind that I am neater than most but i don't believe constantly forgetting to flush the toilet (even thought he pee's standing up and can see the bowl) or not wiping the piss off the seat is normal. Besde's I feel like he lied to me, misrepresented this place for the rent and I don't know if I can trust anything he says...
If the Goddess and God cannot help me in this matter, how can I trust that bigger matters of life will be resolved?
Am I rambling? Am I being selfish? Am i asking for too much? How can I make sure I don't make the same mistake when house hunting for a place before month's end? Are my standards too high? Where can i find a place where I fit in harmoniously? I generally feel like I am an alien or should be a hermit living in the woods or mountain top far far away from the multitude. I am tired of this lonely feeling...it affects my relationships a lot. I used to tell myself it was because i wasn't in my element but if I didn't find my element/niche in college, work, the many clubs, states, countries and etc i've been to / in will i ever?
Hello Bingisouljah, love how you used "jah" at the end of your sentence. Don't know how old you are but am assuming you are young as you are a student. I'll give you my little piece of advice because you have a long way to go yet in this life journey you are on. #1"You" cannot control other people, they are who they are for whatever reason and if repeatedly asking someone to stop doing something is not working, then they are probably not going to change. #2 Knowing that you cannot change other people, then the next step is changing how you allow them to effect you, don't give them or him that power over you, some folks are nasty for no reason at all other than that is just them, all you can do is pray for them, pray for patience and just iqnore them and deal with it, until you can do better. You are not alone, people are like this all over the world and it is their problem not your own. Personally I deal with a pain in the you know where on a daily basis and iqnoring the person works beautifully, I'm in my own world and that seems to bother her more. I also prayed to understand her, some folks have had a horrible life which is why they act out, feel sorry for them, just keep handy wipes and disinfectant with you at all times until you get out of there and always find time to worship, even if you have to go outside, it will do you good and give you the strength you need, you can holla any time you need someone to talk to. P.S. Ask God to guide you a decent place, works every time. Good Luck! One day you will look back on this and laugh!
Greetings Poetic555! Thanks for the compliment on my handle, it's intentional. I feel like a soldier for Jah and decided to incorporate the two.
Thank you for the kind words and advice as well. You're right, the only person I can effectively change is myself. I have been holding stuff in and really needed to let it out even if no one heard...it's a bonus that someone as poetic, wise and kind as yourself heard me. I will take your words and apply them accordingly. I will also update you on my search...surprisingly I am optimistic all will be well.
ps...i was not aware you could not say words that rhyme with "peace" and "beach" so apologies for the asterics in my first post!
Peace and Blessings!
Thats cute! I'm here for you anytime! Sending prayers your way.
Heavenly Father, thank You for hearing me the moment I pray. Today I choose to trust that You are working behind the scenes on my behalf no matter what I see in the natural. I will praise You today and always because You are faithful. I love You and bless You. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
From Joel Osteen
Hope things are getting better for you!