ALL BrianTristan posts here(except A Song For You)



  • Thanks Brian but it looks like my post got erased when admin was deleting folks I don't know what that was about but guess it wasn't meant to be.

    Blessing

    P



  • Pfree,

    I believe I have it, as I copy and pasted it into a word processing document. If I do not you can repost it, or an updated question. I know you had a question there.



  • torgirl44,

    You have a pretty good BS detector, so either he is being honest and does not want to lead you on but would like to see where things go, or he is a player making sure he keeps his options open. I think you can figure out which all on your own, and being you are right there, you are the one who can do that the best.

    He may have been burned really good in the past, and may shy away from getting too serious. Or of course, he may not want to get tied down, wanting plenty of possibilities and choices in life open to him (career paths, relocating, and other opportunities). A free spirt can be loved if you are willing to follow him, and he is willing to let you. That said, I know plenty of people who were going to become world travelers, and never have a home, just live out of a suitcase, and they now have a spouse, kids, and a house with a white picket fence and are quite happy. However, it was their decision, they were not trapped or tricked into it, at that is the important factor in the whole matter. Life is funny, and lots of things are possible.

    In this relationship, like any other, you are at a point where you must put yourself out there if you want to move forward, and that leaves you vulnerable to having your heart tapped danced on. Realistically, that is the decision you must make. Taking chances does not always turn out well, but it does not always turn out bad, that is why it is called a chance.

    Hope that helps,

    BrianTristan



  • suramya,

    I really think you will be okay. I will get back to you as I have some more to say, after a little bit here.



  • Thanks Brian, for your post. I really appreciated your time, as far as the Canucks BOOOOOOO

    They P'D me off.

    But thats Okay Canada won both women's and men's Gold 🙂 "Hockey"

    Take care and I'll talk to you soon

    Sheila



  • Kaplow,

    I responded. And you should find a quicker way to respond to me in my post to you, because it appears I have to go shopping for a Nerf Bat, so I can come and beat you. LOL



  • Shatz,

    Poor Canucks. But yes Canada did clean up in the Olympics in hockey, and I was happy to see that, your city looked good on TV too. We are enjoying Sidney Crosby's talents here in Pittsburgh.

    Talk to you.



  • AT THIS TIME I AM NOT ACCEPTING ANY NEW POSTED QUESTIONS.

    I am backlogged with questions, and if I accept anything new, the people who have already posted questions will have problems finding their answers.

    For those who have posted questions, I will get to them, I promise. I am working on them.

    Also, please note, follow ups to questions I have already answered, are acceptable, as those are already posted questions, that I can refamiliarize myself with the situation very quickly.

    ONCE I HAVE CLEARED MY BACKLOG OF QUESTIONS, I WILL POST THAT I AM ACCEPTING NEW QUESTIONS, BUT NOT BEFORE.



  • This post is deleted!


  • Brian,

    I must say you are very wise indeed. Thanks for your thoughts. I do so appreciate them and you are so helpful indeed.

    My BS detector has been known to be wrong in the past but this time, it just feels right deep down. I don't feel hesitation in my soul (if that makes any sense to you). I feel like I'm going to be challenged to stay open and present in this relationship because he is such an independant person.

    I absolutely love the thoughts "A free spirt can be loved if you are willing to follow him, and he is willing to let you." I think that's the case here and I have to learn to follow instead of always trying to lead. I feel that he is very afraid of opening himself up fully and maybe by me doing so it will allow him to do so as well.

    I believe life is all about taking chances...what good is life if we only do things that are safe. I have felt all along that this time, I have to take a chance and you have just really clarified that for me so Thank you again. I'm going to take that chance and see where it leads me...!

    L



  • Hey Brian, how is all the back log coming along? anxious donnamae



  • donnamae92,

    I am working on yours, as I know you need it quickly. Should be up soon (tomorrow).

    My back log has me buried, but it is not like I dislike what I am doing or anything, so

    it is all good.



  • torgirl44,

    She that, you are a smart cookie indeed. Wonderful to give advice to someone who can soberly look at things and evaluate them.

    Chances are fine, as long as you have a parachute. You should always plan out a plan B, and a plan C, when you can do it cold and logically, because when a disaster hits (like a hurricane is coming, or your house just got flattened by an earthquake), if you have an escape and survival plan in place, you can just follow it. An example, say you move to Hawaii with him, then you should have a separate bank account in say California that you can access from Hawaii, and there should be enough money in it to get you a plane ticket to the mainland and get yourself set up. So, that may be 5000 dollars or something like that. Funny thing is, when people have a "parachute", they rarely have to use them, because they are careful in the other parts of their life also. It is when people do not have a "parachute" that they need them, and are basically f****d because they do not have one.

    You are right, chances are opportunities, and it is when preparation meets opportunity that great things can be accomplished. The concept of shear dumb luck is a fallacy. Many people who hit the lotto for big money are bankrupt in years, and/or have their lives ruined. Look at all the professional athletes that go bankrupt because they live way beyond their means, and when the big money comes to and end, they are f****d financially. So the other part of taking a chance is not to put your whole life in the basket you have for Prince Charming. Retain your own self, and what you did before the prince came along (painting, horseback riding, card club), it is healthy for you and the relationship, and should the chance you took turn out not so well, you still have a life outside of the castle walls.

    Best wishes to you,

    BrianTristan



  • Thank you Brian:) I will wait



  • Hi Brian,

    Thanks, I do try to listen to other's views especially when I've asked for them.

    I always have a plan B and one thing I've learned is that the only person you can ever really rely on 100% is yourself. You can love others and trust and respect them but you need to be able to make it on your own no matter what the circumstances.

    You are truly intuitive...you hit the nail on the head when you said that you need to retain your own self. That is the biggest mistake I made with my ex, I gave up absolutely everything until it got to the point that I didn't even really know who I was as an individual anymore. I'm trying to do that this time.

    After I read your post I took your advice. My boyfriend and I had some tentative plans to take a vacation together when my kids are with their father in July. Well, I asked him today if we were still planning on going away and he told me he has his daughter that week so he's not sure if he can get away for a few days alone with me. I told him to please let me know in the next two weeks what his plans were because if he couldn't get away, I am going to go to Vegas with my friends. I know it doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment but in past, I would have just waited around to see if he was available and not made my own plans.

    So Thanks again, you are so wonderful to do all that you do. Have a fabulous weekend.

    L



  • torgirl44,

    And I think, since you have taken what you have had happen in the past, and learned from it, that you are in the perfect position to take chances. For, you will never lose yourself again, and your independence will actually be a big turn on for him, or anyone that is interested in you. You have yet to see that yet, but I assure you it shall come to pass. The "get back to me, because if you cannot do it, I am going with friends to Vegas" is perfect. Makes him not feel bad if he is otherwise indisposed, makes him know that you will find something else to do, and makes it clear he will need to step up to the plate if he wants to bat. Very good! You will do quite well.

    Regards,

    BrianTristan



  • AT THIS TIME I AM NOT ACCEPTING ANY NEW POSTED QUESTIONS.

    I am backlogged with questions, and if I accept anything new, the people who have already posted questions will have problems finding their answers.

    For those who have posted questions, I will get to them, I promise. I am working on them.

    Also, please note, follow ups to questions I have already answered, are acceptable, as those are already posted questions, that I can refamiliarize myself with the situation very quickly.

    ONCE I HAVE CLEARED MY BACKLOG OF QUESTIONS, I WILL POST THAT I AM ACCEPTING NEW QUESTIONS, BUT NOT BEFORE.



  • bump



  • Hey Brian,

    I don't want to monopolize your time but I just wanted to let you know that he already came back to me and said he's going to ask his Mom to watch his daughter so we can spend a few days together:) I think I'm on the right track. I may just go to Vegas as well!

    You've been a ton of help. I wish you all the very best, you seem like a great and wonderful person.

    Les



  • Brian this is going to be a stupid question "does he miss me?" He just passed through my mind and a song that we used to dance to came on Was just wondering


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