Blmoon: I seek your knowledge..but open to anyone

  • Dear blmoon,

    Your guidance and knowledge were beyond any expectations I had. I feel like you already know a piece of me and I am wondering with what you felt with me and my current husband if I could take you a different direction with my ex. It has been a LONG time since I have had this crazy of an issue with him and I am so perplexed that I just don't know what to think or do. It is causing me physical and emotional distress and our three kids are stressing as well. He lives in a town I drive through several times a year and always try and make it so he can see his kids for a short time. This last time, everything was just the way it always had been but he totally "wacked" out and didn't see the kids either way telling them to not talk to him or "text" him...which our oldest son and him have mended but then turned the tables on me and said it was all my fault...whatever I did...I don't know...His anger and cussing and rudeness to the kids and I is just weird. He has threatened to take me back to court and drop support down and all sorts of random things like that. I am trying to keep this brief, I am just...I don't know freaking out on his behavior and what he is saying or even lack of saying. Can you PLEASE fill in any of these missing blanks for my sake and these poor kids? If you need any further info..just ask.

    Thank you in advance and I hope I am not asking too much.

    I will also leave this thread open to anyone else who may "feel" anything on this. Thank you...

    Ex DOB 10/28/65 R.J.H

    my DOB 5/8/72 M.K.J.H

    son 9/25/96 T.J.H

    Daughter 2/25/99 C.K.H

    Son 2/14/02 B.B.H


  • I feel your ex is envious of your present situation and wants to make you as unhappy as he is. Of course he is being unreasonable and vengeful but don't send any negativity at him through your thoughts. That would just make things worse. You have to be stronger and calmer than him. Whatever he threatens, reply calmly that if he does any of the things he is threatening or doesn't treta his children better, you will seek legal redress. He is just trying to irk you so don't get upset. Don't show any fear or anger either. He wants to get under your collar.

  • Thank you for that. That is exactly what I did yesterday...I sent him "calm" texts because he wouldn't talk to me. I told him I haven't a clue what this is over and we need to "calmly" discuss this summer regarding the kids. He used to threaten court all the time but he isn't a saint so I guess I am just wondering if it is pure B.S. what he is threatening....I used to be able to have a sense of his moods and if was doing anything that wasn't right...if you know what I mean, but I don't think he can do that stuff anymore because he has been so sick. So, again I am just totally off on his thoughts and quite freaked out. I really am....It's upsetting too because our kids are ALL he has and I have always been there for him to help him through his tough times because he is the dad to three of my kids and I am just that type of kids come 110% first. Grrrr! I hate this feeling inside.

    Thanks! Please keep the help coming! Finding peace with all this would be grateful inside and out. It worries me for the kids and myself.

    Thanks you.

  • You need to detach yourself and your children from him and allow him to go on his way - his downward spiral is the only way he will learn that he is the one responsible for his own happiness or unhappiness - that no one else is. You mustn't feel any guilt if you leave him to manage alone. This is what he needs even if it is painful. His threats are indeed all desperate BS - he knows he is losing everything he cherishes. But that is his choice - don't take any blame on yourself. He needs to learn to be an adult and that he alone is the cause of his own fortune or misfortune. If you interfere, no matter how bad it gets for him, you will be stopping his life lessons and holding him back in his evolution. Keep your strength for your own family.

  • Thank you. I am keeping the peace inside and distance from him. I haven't a clue what he has gotten himself into and as long it doesn't deeter my world, so be it.

    Trying to keep positive that it will all blow over and life can shift back to the way it flows with the current. My oldest son is still talking/texting him but isn't one to share and I hope he can handle whatever fables my ex is telling him. I guess I will just stay out of that and hope I have taught him to know good from bad.

    Thanks. I feel like I have been walking the path you have been sending me even prior to reading this...interesting...

  • ...sharing a computer with my to log her off before responding...I told her maybe we could see what her love status is, but haven't seen a response...Feel free. There is a thread started by her for a love reading. She is great!

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