Dear Captain, question please, thanks!



  • Captain, you told me not too long ago you had a feeling I would end up with custody after an ongoing problem with my ex, you were right, they have since decided not too even try it. Thank you, as, re reading your response certainly helped when he would try too lead me too doubt. I am rather confused, as the person investigating my childs claims when they came home bruised up, cannot formally tell me htey can't go, and the investigation is still going on, taking a while, so he has been relentless in threatening me with courts, saying I am in contempt, I will go too jail if I don't let them come too see him soon, he says I am making them lie against him, which is crazy. I feel I'm running out of time before the investigation is over, and they can either go back or not go, or they will ask him too cooperate mabe,not sure. He has been threatening me constantly, and telling me I will not win this one, he even convinced his girlfriend, who I know doesn't have a clue too answer his phone and stick up for him when I return his calls. My question is, do you have any feel for what I can do too protect myself and my kids from his lies, and nonsense? I am just so tired dealing with his manupilating, he even admitted too me he felt he had problems, and would get some help, but that was all he would say, yet expects me too allow them too return as normal, I am worried since he knows most all the judges where our divorce paperwork was done, any idea on what I'm dealing with now? Thanks so much, many blessings!



  • Just don't listen to or believe him. You have doubts about your own ability to be strong and to cope so you let this ridiculous man frighten you. He is just a big scared silly bag of hot air and cannot harm you or your children unless you let him stress you out. The more desperate he gets, the more he threatens you so when he is really bad, take that to show he is losing his grip. You need to detach yourself emotionally and mentally and just relax. All will be well if you don't freak out over this insecure person (I wouldn't call him a man.) Stop buying into his lies and manipulation. Why do you even bother with him at all? Leave him to stew in his own self-created unhappiness and look to your own and your children's care. Forget him and he will eventually go away once he realises he has no power over you. You are feeding his power with your fears.



  • Thank you Captain, I cannot begin too tell you how much that helps! I don't know why I freeze up with fear with him, I suppose because he seems too be in a better place financially now, he went and hired lawyers, and has this woman now that can't know everything thats been or will come if he doesn't get help. I always stand up, and defend myself against him too the end, but then cave in too my fears after, when I am alone, your right I have too forget it, and go with the flow of things, thank you for reminding me again! I especially love your description of him being full of hot air, sooo true! Many blessings too you!



  • The more ways you can think of to reduce him in your mind - such as seeing him for the foolish weak person that he really is - will help break his mental and emotional hold over you. Stop thinking of him as this huge great monster running your life and see him instead as a puny little mouse dashing around under your feet trying to desperately nip at your ankles and it will help you lose your fear. Laugh at him as he squeaks for attention and sweep him out with a mental 'broom up the butt'.



  • Thank you Captain, I always felt bad for him for some reason, he is a pices/aries cusp, has major issues left over from childhood, but I figure who doesn't? Some people seem too handle it so much healthier though, or atleast are not so cruel, I never could understand cruel, and why anyone would fall for it, I'm just praying he doesn't influence the children too much with his attitude, and that people who in court, who can make decisions are somehow not fooled by his nonsense. He has told me "he has unlimited resources now too use against me" whatever that means.



  • It's all BS, Bluecat123 - the more scared he gets, the more BS he throws at you so take it as a sign you have got him on the run. And no, the court people are not so easily fooled.



  • And having a rotten childhood is no excuse for him to treat people badly now.



  • Amen too that Captain! I agree, too me its the reason too treat people better! Thank you for your kindness and insight, I am very grateful!