What to do



  • i would like to first start off by sayin hi.....im new here....and now to my problem.i have been with this woman for 5 yrs. when we first got together i really thought i loved her......but the last couple of years i havent. she refuses to get a job...over takes her nedicines to get stoned...and is just down right lazy. my problem is that she has 3 kids 7,10,14.......and i love them dearly.....they even consider me their father......i cant leave them,im afraid if i do that they will not get takin care of or that their mother will get into worse drugs and get them takin away from her. i cant stand to think of something happening to them.what do i do......i am at a complete loss here.......and apreciate anyones advice



  • Hi, Well, she probably needs to get into treatment. She needs to recognize that she has a problem. I take it ya'll aren't married. Maybe you could see about getting her help. She'll probably hate you at first for it. She has to recognize that there is a problem. I hate to see it going so far as to have the kids taken away. Hate to see her hook-up w/ someone who has the same problem--it's very possible. You need to get her help. Talk to someone in the nearest treatment hospital (social worker.) That's a start. Get prepared. It won't be easy, but someone is going to have to intervene. You will have to take the lead on this one.



  • wow that sounds a lot like my mom... I basically mother my two younger siblings, my sister whos 17 now and brother whos 12.(even though i have a family of my own) because my mom is medicated and does not function(literally does not get out of bed. It sounds like the children are you main concern. So whatever you do do it for the childrens sake. First of all i would talk to her kids about what is going on...ask them about what they are seeing regarding their mother. They probably know more than you think and have a lot to say about it. Then approach her about her problem. I would probably do some type of intervention thing that involves the children. I had one with my mom, she refused treatment, but it helped my siblings and I seperate ourselves from her. So even though she refused treatment it was beneficial for my siblings and I. I was suprised how intuitive my younger brother was and how aware he was about the situation. If she refuses treatment then you can either live the rest of your life miserable with her or leave. Its a very hard choice though. I remember you saying your a cancer from the "cancer underdong forum" so i know how important it is to have a family and take care of people. anyways i hope this helped good luck



  • Hi,

    I know exactly what you are going through as I am in the middle of ending a long term relationship myself. For obvious reasons, this is an extremely difficult time and I have been searching for help and advice all over the net. Something I found that was helpful was this discussion...http://www.pandalous.com/nodes/2b1e794701df445180baa0f5bd6a28a7

    It helped me come to terms with the fact that though I care about my boyfriend dearly I need to move on in order to be happy. Hopefully it can do the same for you. Good luck!


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