Cancer...the underdog?



  • As a cancer i always burden myself by helping family and friends...even if i don't have the time. I take care of my son. fiance, brother and sister. When a friend in need calls i am there. yet little is reciprocated. I let people step on the because otherwise i feel guilty...is this typical for other cancers? are there any other cancers that experience this?



  • yes i think it is somewhat typical for cancers.......just different levels for diferent people. i myself am a cancer....and for my friends(especially female friends for some reason) i will drop everything and do what i can to help,and if my help doesnt work then i feel like a complete failure. my true weakness as a cancer though is that i try to treat all kids like they are my own.......i will do anything it takes to make kids happy.......just the way i have always been. cancers are nurturers.........its our design.....so dont feel alone



  • I'm in total agreement with shybubba, as a cancer I have sometimes felt like I let people take advantage of my generosity but as I've gotten older I have come to a point of knowing when enough is enough and making sure that my good deeds don't go unwarranted. I don't bend over backwards for just anyone but will go out of the way for someone who I know and is part of my inner circle. (though like shybubba, I do have a soft spot for children and will treat almost any of them like they were my own)



  • Hey guys, couldn't help but intrude. I'm an Aries, but my moon is in Cancer. I feel the same way. It's almost like a habit for me to give things whenever asked. My first reaction is "of course you can have it" but then I had to learn to set boundaries and say no. It's difficult, but I will not be taken advantage of. I can sense that immediately. And like shybubba said, I'm more inclined to help females out. I've been contemplating on this, and I think it is because of my idea of what a man should be - self sufficent, the provider. It's like, get your act together, man, I, me being a chick can do it, you can do it to. You're built for it. I guess I just see us women as, although being very strong, being delicate at the same time.



  • OMG This is how I've felt my whole life. I've always felt stepped on, abused, used, and always left alone. Just recently I lost my husband of 22 yrs and had some money. I "loaned" money to my kids who were not his but one and I've helped my daughter and her boyfriend move twice plus paid the rent twice not to mention spending $300 for groceries about every 4 days and helped her with Xmas last year. She had asked me to move in with her shortly after my husband died on the basis of only having to help with a few groceries and help around the house as my income is not quite $700 a month. Since her boyfriend moved in with her I have felt shoved out. We now live in LA and they actually moved into a 1 bdrm house so that puts me on the couch in the frontroom and no space for my clothes. Bascially living out of a suitcase as most of my stuff has been put into storage. They're using my TV in their room and he plans on giving his to his mother. I can't go back to Utah as I have no money to do so. What money I had has all been used up and I now no longer have any extra. Why do we have to be so big hearted and yet get nothing in return???? Sorry for rattling on so much.......



  • Hi, I have felt like this in the past. I'm not a Cancer though. If someone helps me I always let them know that I am grateful and I'll return it in some way (and do.) Usually those in need can't return the favor but can show thanks in some other way. I was thinking about Jesus and the miracles that he performed (curing.) I think it was 1 person who thanked him. Maybe we have forgotten not only to say THANKS but returning the favor the best way we can.



  • I to experiencethis sort of thing. Im seeking to find employment or something that takes up some of my time so my family can not relie on me to do things for them. Theyll have to start doing for themselves. i too need to let go some to. Sometimes I feel guilty if I don`t do things but on the other hand sometimes I feel like a maid .Hense the job will bring in a little money as well as help my family grow, hopefully?????????



  • Sadly yes



  • When you wonderful giving, nurturing cancers need some reciprocity do you ask? Do you know that the people who love you realize how much we rely and depend on you and would do ANYTHING in our power to be there for you at least once, the way you've been there for us 100 times. ASK and ye shall recieve. We really aren't mind readers we believe you when you say you're ok and there is nothing you need from us.

    WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!



  • Well, yes, I wholeheartedly agree. I am a cancer woman, and I truly believe in self-sacrifice. My family is my heart... and if they are sad or depressed, I become sad or depressed... when they are sick, I rush to the rescue to be by their side and stay there until they are better... and I just don't think about my feelings... because my heart is in their hands... I think i trust them that they'd just see and realize how much I do for them. It is a sad and depressing at times, but even though when I reflect about it, I was soo happy to do it... and if i had to do it again, I probably would again and again, because they are my heart. I don't know what else to say, but it's times like these when I get moody, that I need to recharge and be myself, because I am soo strong for them, and most times I am not for myself.



  • Yes, i feel guilty a lot, and I always tend to favor the underdog. Actually, those are exactly things I say all the time. As a cancerian, I empathize soo much with people, it just comes soo naturally. And at times, i feel if I had all the money in the world, I'd just help everyone! If it makes them happy, then I do it for them. That's why I don't like soo many friends... because I know they can be demanding. And with family, they ask ask ask ask... and i give give give... but I never ask anything for myself... just consideration...



  • please ask us, we want to give to you but don't know what you need, or how to get you to tell us. If it's a card, a hug, money, time, what ever if we know it is yours just as you are ours.

    I am speaking to all of the cancers in behalf of all of your families



  • I too feel this same way, I am always there for everyone, money, home, security, emotions, a helping hand. And yet somehow when I need something I feel like a burden on everyone else. It's exhausting, and yes I ask. Although I have quit asking and started closing up again. Sometimes you have to put you first in front of everything else in your life



  • What is the best way for us (your friends) to approach you when we know you are in need, but (as usual) are too strong to ask for help?



  • I am a capricorn with a something in Cancer that is to do with relationships - can't quite remember atm... But anyway - I too feel that I am always there for everyone and all of the things you are expressing but I wonder if that is Cancer or just the human condition.... As the 2 signs I am are complete opposites - or maybe that is what my inner struggle is......



  • 'underdog'? I know a lot of Cancers, and I would never describe a single one of them as an underdog. They are all outgoing, friendly, intelligent and popular. Well, one of the Cancers I know is very insecure....but even he isn't easily stepped on. I know a lot of Cancers are described as shy and quiet....where are these people?? LOL! I have never met a shy Cancer.



  • My husband (soon to be ex) is a far cry from an underdog! He is about the most selfish person I have ever met. If it is not about HIM or doesn't benefit HIM he won't give it another thought. As for children... he provides for his financially but that's about it. He won't give up any of his "needs" for them. For example, he watches Monday night football with friends on Monday, goes sailing on Wednesday nights, art lessons on Thursdays, happy hour that turns into all nighters Fridays, college football gatherings on Saturdays and hunting or sailing on Sundays. If one of our children has something that falls on any day but Tuesday he can't make it. Yep, that's right. He devotes ONE night a week to his kids.

    As for me... won't even change a light bulb or bring in the trash cans. He feels like he works hard and provides the money and the rest is up to me.

    Underdog my ***!



  • mariaria, i am a shy cancer...haha. really! i have a speech to present on wednesday...gahh! i'll probably have a near nervous breakdown again... 😞

    skettilover, what a selfish man. he's obviously not living in reality. i feel for you and your family.

    as for me...hmm. i guess my motives for giving anything when asked stem from my childhood experiences which my cousin hasn't allowed me to forget. i was about 8 or so and i stole a toy of hers...repercussions. i try not to be selfish while around others. now, i get made fun of for giving too much. it's so embarrassing. so now, i'll just keep giving just so i won't get too attached to material things...i think this is a better reason. 🙂

    oh! just the other day, my mom called me out on something...i held open the door for a man. haha! and she told me that i embarrassed him or something! but...i don't think it's fair for men to do everything...if we women want to be equals so much, then...? 😉



  • Underdogg??? Hell no...no one can phase us...but yes at times there are the emotional vampires that come through and suck the life out of us...but we hold our own and have the ability to lift ourselves out of the mud and like sexygem said just let your friends and family know you that you need a little TLC or just sometimes it's "me time"...Cancers are more introspective and need time to reflect and absorb...then it's all good and we're back



  • me also and i am right there with you !


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