Greatly Appreciate Some Advice or Guidance. Blessed Be :)
I'm a capricorn, he's a virgo. He left about 6 months ago, we still talk since we have many mutual friends and we have an adoptive child. When we get into deep conversations it feels like we're breaking up again. I want us to try again, but he says he can't "right now".
Last sunday we decided to stay away from each other to see if it will help him to miss me more, to show him how life is without me. We decided to only talk about the child and he will take the child 2-3 times a week. He said he will consider the situation, but to not expect him to get back to me within the week.
He called me late last night, he hates talking on the phone and especially late at night. I didn't answer,didn't leave a message and he didn't text me either. He called again today, I didn't pick up, but he left a long voicemail with just background noise. Today he has the child. I'm giving him space to see life without me.
Will we try again? Will his heart soften and his mind be open to the idea of trying again?
I feel you coming off, as sort of overly territorial
of him, which may even seem as insecurity
you two have tried so HARD to build the perfect relationship
almost, your motives were from perfection rather than letting things
be the both of you Want to always make things Better, that is where
you two find common ground which is Good, But sometimes in some situations
we must let things flow through divine guidance which is the situation here
he has some things on his mind, your doing the right thing by letting him
take some time off without you but your motives for doing so is'nt right
dont do it because you want to double-check his loyalty for you, do it because
you understand he needs some time to think,pause and reflect over things.
and be there to listen when he comes back, In his mind..things are so
scattered, he feels no one can relate to the point he wants to run from every part
of the situation.
blessings, best of luck to you honey.
aaawww... Addictdtoriches... Your post almost made me cry... Yes, you are on target with everything you wrote... I can't tell you how much I GREATLY appreciate your advice... I will mention you in my prayers...
I can only hope and pray that he'll give this another chance, another try, but I know that he's thinking it'll be force cause he told me! I'm giving him space because he told me that I don't give him time to think things through. I hung out with his family about a week ago, but kept my distance from him since I was there for our child. I'm just going with the flow and not looking for him. It's very hard cause our child keeps asking for him and I use to call him when that would happen. Now I know that it was only making him feel guilty for not being there. I don't want to hurt him and I stopped contacting him since apparently it seems like it's doing more damage than good. Hopefully he'll miss me and he'll come around once he sees how life is without me. We miss him, but know that he's going through a lot right now. I know he misses us, plus he got excited when I went our to his families house. He was making sure I was comfortable the whole time I was there and tried to extend my time there too. We were nice to each other, which was different. He's seeing some one, but like he told a close friend, "it's not serious". they've been going out since the year started and nothing has come of it. I think it has to do with me since he's not too sure what to do with me. there are times when i know he doesn't think we can be a family since our relationship has been turbulent since he left. At the same time he told me that he hasn't thought about it in depth. He told me "looks like you've thought about this through, I need to catch up to you."
Sorry for the essay... I really hope he's reading my messages and taking the time to think about our situation. He knows he has my heart and he knows that I want an answer now. I'm sure since it's only been a little over a week that he's waiting for me to do something. A text, email, voicemail, or a call is what he's waiting for from me since I always break and can't give him enough to think. I can't tell you how hard it is at night to not call him. I almost did last night. I really don't know if I can hold out any longer. If I do contact him then I know I'll lose all that weeks worth of "peace"... It's kind of like I wish I had a crystal ball that would tell me how long I have to wait... hahahahah... wouldn't that be nice! I think everyone would love that!
I'm just not sure if I should just give up already... I really do want him to be happy and if I'm causing him grief then it's best I let him be... I really hope I can give him enough time to think and not let my emotions take over and want to call him. I'm proud that I haven't called him, so far. I feel bad that I missed his calls, but I just didn't see the point of him calling me at night. If it's about our child he can text or leave a voicemail. I'll respond to that, but chatting at night when I know he doesn't like it can only turn bad... I know he likes to talk to me, but why give him what he likes if he's not going to even consider buying the cow! He's pretty simple and easy going, so when he's getting what he wants he doesn't do anything to ruin it. I just want him to consider dating me again to see if we can re-kindle that loving feeling... you know?
thank you again... any other advice would be lovely Blessed Be...
Honey, the best of my hope goes to you two. so glad i can help
didnt mean to bring tears, -hugs-
I feel as if things here will only go so far with you
both since he has limitations, i feel hes good with walking away
from pressure and you dont wanna pressure him because
you dont want him to walk away..he knows that you are his backbone and will
BE THERE when he is in need, but he wont realize this until you truly
begin to live for you completely, You can now take this time and intune
with yourself completely, you understand? Once you begin NOT to call
and go around and remind him each time the door is open is
when he then will realize exactly what's missing, but now you have
an assignment given to you; which is intune WITH YOU and your son
make the best of things, find positive in everything & you will be fine.
Hello Addy, for some reason that click to me to call you by in short... If you don't like it let me know and I'll come up with another name!
I teared up cause you were right! You picked up the emotions so well that it shocked me. I'm impressed that you picked up on the sex of our child since I never mentioned it... YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT THIS! Can't tell you how grateful and appreciative I am for your time and patience with reading my posts... <3...
So your advice is to: Not call him, Not being around where he's at, and Not remind him that the door is open for him?
So in other words live my life as if I've moved on from him and dedicate myself to our child.
Believe me when I say that I'm trying. Started up with my old hobbies again and he knows it.
One question if you don't mind answering... Can you see him coming back if I can manage to show the world that I've moved on? That I'm not waiting on him?
Bless your heart and soul for your time and patience with this poor woman...
Thats Fine, Someone else also on the site
gave me name very similiar lol, i love it.
No ThankYou, Glad I could help.
And I considered Intuning with yourself more, great your finding old
hobbies GOOD,make the best of what you think is the worst
as I always tell everyone going through things, including myself.
We must be open,honest, & patient enough to see the real purpose
for the universe plans, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Yes, I actually feel he will come back, In time.
You are strong, and radiate alot of strength through him
Addy, I will mention you in my prayers. I am ever so humble by your words. May God bless you constantly and show you light when you encounter darkness. I hope & pray that there will always be someone there for you when you need them just like you have been here for me. I cannot find the words to express my gratitude. I'm a much more calm cappy because of you Addy!
thank you much.
blessings, and much happiness on your path.