Loneliness



  • Hi. I was responding to another post and the topic of loneliness came up. I was surprised to see another Pisces mention that she was lonely but that it was normal. I've always felt the same way that being lonely is apart of whom I am, just like my love for music, or sci-fi movies, its just one of my traits. But I didn't know that it was common thing. I've written a lot of poems, and contemplated a great deal on this issue of loneliness. There is a bittersweet duality that exists in the concept of loneliness for me...as much as I need it, I hate it. As much as I desire to flee from it, I retreat to it. It’s like a beast that I'm afraid of and in love with at the same time. It’s a gift because I can use it to protect me from others who I become vulnerable with, and eventually get hurt by, but it’s a curse because my relentless desire for human love and connection is never achieved. AHHHH! So anyways, I always thought this was just a personal issue that I had but seeing another Pisces mention it has made me wonder how many other Pisces feel this way. Is this a common trait found in Pisces? How do other people feel about it?



  • Hi true, I can relate to what you're saying and it can get complicated. Ya see I'm an 'opposite' , a Virgo sun/ Pisces moon. That means, of course, I have a Pisces personality so those traits are strong. I always wrote poetry, was very sensitive and got my feelings hurt easily, not to mention way too gullible. The hard knocks from some people taking advantage of that or seeing kindness as a weakness makes you get real and open your eyes. It's taken my whole life to really work on getting balance. I had to learn to integrate those feelings from each end of the spectrum. Not easy, lol

    Pisces wants the peace and solitude that comes with being quiet and alone but it isn't the road to happiness if you stay there all the time or 'hide' there. The key came to me when I realized that the real truth in living comes from helping others and loving each other so that means contact! You still need to have a strong sense of yourself in dealing with the world but other people give your life meaning and if you can find a way to help or be of service (without losing yourself) then it's so rewarding for you.

    I know faith is extremely important so following your heart is a safe way to find your true path. Try to see the real world and don't deceive yourself. Keep asking questions and working on yourself so your soul evolves.



  • I will get to your post when I can, just letting you know I have seen it.



  • Hello TruePiscesGal,

    Loneliness is not reserved solely for Pisceans my love ... it is a trait shared by beings all across our celestial spectrum.

    I hold you in my heart as you learn to understand separateness from self. Loneliness, for me, is for 'home' and my connection to what my soul understands and calls me to remember. This has nothing to do with human contact for me, as it does you because my feelings of loneliness are of being dumped and abandoned on this planet, of being left alone and lost. My loneliness is really from within ... its source is in my separation from the higher aspects of my being; hence the longing for 'home' ... the union of souls, vibration and one love.

    Loneliness is a path many walk alongside you TruePiscesGal ... I hope you continue finding comfort in knowing you are not the only one experiencing this. I wish you what you wish for you.

    Angel Hugs and Blessings,

    Icearia



  • Thanks for your response. As you mentioned, helping others is extremely important to me. I've been praying for years for God to reveal my purpose to me and I believe now that its for me to be a Social Worker. I've been working in the Social Services field for some years, although my degree is in Art. I love helping people. I just signed to be a mentor to, hopefully, a high school female. As well, I want my art to help people, to bring them closer to understanding their purpose on Earth. So you are so right, everything I do involves human contact. It so perplexing. I do need to find a healthy balance. I don't know why I feel so lonely. Its a little depressing, for me. But I haven't really retreated to painting like I used to, because I have kind of lost myself these past couple years. I'm just now starting to find myself again, and I know when I start painting and mentoring, and when I go to grad school to start studying Social Work in the next year or so, I will feel better with handling my desire and resentment of loneliness.



  • Oh how I hear ya on the praying for revealing purpose! I've had years of doing that one! What I really like is how you are listening to your inner you ... that intuitive sense and then, acting upon it! We can think and overanalyse things to death but, once we engage ourselves in action, well ... that's when everything comes together. It is when the Universe can support our decisions and continue to present opportunities ... some with immense potential. I really did like your approach to serving humanity, TruePiscesGal. Your heart is in the right place on this one and I think you will be an incredibly sensitive and nurturing mentor ... the perfect type of mentor in my opinion! It is those who have understood hardship / suffering / loss / emptiness / loneliness etc; that give the most! It is knowing that one soul can truly open to and support another soul because it understands the need. I think you will do fabulously and the love you will receive from this individual will be remarkable. Once you realize this, then you will understand purpose.

    I kind of have a better understanding of your loneliness now ... you are an artist ... and a Piscean ... a true double whammy in sensitivity! Much of our purpose lies in our gifts, my new friend. What we are naturally good at becomes the form, the expression, the avenue to create a space for the self - the authentic self - to shine through. Art, like other gifts, wraps a being and their senses so immediately and physically. This, dear one, is an amazing gift! I understand how you long for contact but then need to retreat ... that is the path of the artist. I write ... it is the same process in terms of expose and retreat. However, have you considered that, in your disconnection from beings also lies your greatest connection to them? A creative soul must withdraw in order to tap into / tune into / resonate with the being within. What comes from this is the expression of that soul. Once, however, contact is made with an audience, here lies the opportunity for connection and on such an incredibly special level, too. Most never reach that space ever and, through your gift, you have the potential to connect heart to heart, instantly. I think that is glorious; absolutely beautiful and deeply moving.

    Define loneliness for you. You can do this internally, no need to write what you come up with back to me ... it's just a method for you to think things through and feel your responses. If loneliness is not having someone else who understands you, then one could always meet more people for the 'right' souls for you are out there ... they exist for all of us ... even if it is just one other! If loneliness means a lack of contact with others, then you have loads of options, don't you? I started a thread a few months ago called "Soul Mates" which, once it grew to epic proportions, became "Soul Mates Part 2" and, now that the new home has outgrown itself, I have moved our wonderful space to "The Enchanted Pond". You will always be most welcome to drop by our pond and sun yourself in as much contact and love as you like. It is a place like no other ... no judgements, loads of inspiration and an opportunity to truly connect through the heart ... no need for a soul mate story either ... we all hold love within us and we all are allowed to share that! To understand our crazee ways, I do suggest reading through the first two threads but they are huge so, read what grabs your soul's attention. Or, just begin where you are. The beings I share the enchanted pond with are like no others ... truly outstanding beacons of light!

    My third child is a Piscean ... an off with the beings on another planet Piscean at times! LOL! I have always thought he spent more time away from this planet than on it. He even has that true, blue eyed vacant stare a lot of the time ... you know the one ... the lights aren't on because nobody really is home!!!! LOL! He is such a sensitive dreamy soul who, as he gets older, is enraptured by the purest form of love. He is 16 now and so into ethereal love stories it's amazing really. He holds the magic of soul connections as his ideal but, does not relate well to lots of people. He has one very special friend that he can be himself with but, spends most of his time in silent contemplation ... of the good versus bad, the light versus dark kind of power in love. I completely understand how hard it is to want something and then also be afraid of it. I see this in him, too. But, just as I tell him, I shall tell you too ... all of life is a risk. To feel loved, we have to also express it. To connect with another, we have to bare ourselves too. To find our path, we have to walk upon it. This is why I was soooooo proud of your action ... your willingness to do something ... to create a space for loneliness to cease! The more we open, the more we receive.

    I would LURRRRRRV to see your art, too! I dabble but am in awe of true artists ... it is an honour to see the soul of another in their creations. I hope you know that this is how people feel about what you can do! It is important for you to understand that. It is your bridge from self to others!

    TruePiscesGal ... you are really special. I look forward to knowingh you more.

    Angel Hugs & Always let your Spirit be free!!!!!

    Icey x



  • Truepiscesgal,

    Look into a Masters degree in Art Therapy.



  • hello

    I am a scorpio but even i feel the loneliness and its truth. You must have heard scorpions are misconstrued many times.... this and their depth leave them with nothing but loneliness.

    Mostly i like to enjoy the bliss of loneliness but there are times i hate it because then i am in need to be understood as I am. cause of loneliness decides the experience with loneliness. Bliss or Hatred!! So it is a common concept.....and yes you are also a water sign so may be common this way!!



  • Icearia...thanks for all your inspiring words! So many of the things you said are so true. Geesh, the search for self is endless. Just when I'm starting to think I understand one thing about myself, something comes along, shakes it up, and then I'm back at square one. It is life, though, and I'd rather be alive than anything else. Currently, I'm going through a divorce. My former spouse and I were very young when we got married, I was only 20. I don't think it was a huge mistake, but it was surely a lesson learned. I learned so much from being married to the man I'm divorcing, things that have made me stronger, but also how lonely I truly am. I used to tell my ex-husband how lonely I was but he didn't understand just how I could be lonely, especially since I was married to him. I don't think I blocked our love from flourishing, but he and I just couldn't connect. Like your son, I've always been the type of person that had 1 best friend that I could be myself around. When I got married, I thought my spouse would become that for me, but when it didn't happen, I started retreating into myself. Contemplation forces you to acknowledge so many things that everyday you would probably ignore. That is how painting became so important to me. It almost became an act of contemplating, or even praying for me. When I painted, I was able to mute out the world, and really delve into my soul and spirit, and bring out the thoughts that were really only between God and I. Spirituality became my companion...spirituality, for me, was promising, unlike human beings, who were proving to be less promising than expected (specifically my ex husband). I wanted to end our marriage sooner, but I found out I was pregnant January 2008 and felt forced to stay. I was really sad and felt even lonelier. I stopped painting and being creative in general. I guess I was borderline depressed because something inside me felt like I had to stay married to this man forever now. But when my son came, I felt like it was a second chance for us, our family, and I was going to give it 100%. But as time progressed, and was born, and grew and grew, I found that I WAS THE ONLY ONE GIVING 100%! I was pissed. I confronted him, and demanded from him, but for him it meant nothing! All this time I was compromising myself for lovelessness? My former spouse didn't want me for who I was, he wanted me to fit into this mold of what a wife was, a mother was, a woman was. But I don't fit into molds, and that is what I'm learning and loving about myself. As long as I'm trying to fit into a mold, or a group, or a category, or a definition, I'm not being me. So that brings me back to where I am now, loveless but free. Ultimately, the only aspect of loneliness that scares me is being loveless. I can face never going out to the bars, or never talking on the phone, or other various things that social people do, but I just can't face not being in love. And I haven't been in love for so long, I'm scared of what true love will look like, feel like, sound like. I mean, I have no clue! At the same time, this relentless loneliness that I face leads me to believe that love is not meant for me. I mean, gosh, I was married for 5 years and was never truly in love. I know what you say is true, it takes risk, it takes allowing it to happen. I call myself the self-sabotager because that's just what I do, I self -sabotage. I don't even allow for things to get risky because I'm so scared of being vulnerable. Why? Because every time I open myself up completely, someone takes out my heart, and tosses it to the side, like I'm just not worthy. It’s happened all my life, since I was a child, from my parents to my ex husband. I sometimes wish I was heartless. But anyways, enough sob story. I'm glad to have read all your inspiring and guiding words. I haven't painted in over a year. I'm in such a new place right now, but my mind is so full of ideas and dreams, and concepts, and realities. I've been drawing and writing like crazy, but I can't wait to bring them to life. I uploaded to of my older works. The first one is about self growth and understanding, detaching the self from how the world understands you, and learning how to understand self on its terms. The second one is about the same, except, its about acceptance of self, and knowing that no one in this world can determine your path, only you can. I never paint faces and most of my works include decapitated figures, and that's because what I'm trying to express have nothing to do with aesthetics. It’s more politics, if you want to call it that. In fact, I wouldn't even call it politics, I would just say its self expression, and I am expressing myself. In all my works (I say works because I sculpt too), they are self portraits. Of course, no one would know that because they don't look like me, but they are me, manifestations of me. How I feel about me. I am also a feminist, so they are extremely feminist in nature, but they're not a feminist political statement, they're just as I described before, contemplations and prayers in visual format. Well anyways, I hope you find them interesting. Talk to you soon!



  • Dear TruePiscesGirl,

    Before anything else ... please forgive my long absence. I have started a new job and have been in training and now work for what seems like forever. As I work nights, my times are completely mucked up and I still have family life to organize and business admin for our business and I hardly eat dinner because I work then too and sheesh ... life has been manic! I am sorry for the wait.

    Now ... WOW! Your life is so full ... and for one so young; that's incredible. I have a much better sense of 'who you are' from this post and can see how loneliness has kept you locked in such a dynamic tussle too. I was sorry to read of your divorce. I don't think it was an age thing (I met my hubby at 21, married at 23 and we have been together for 25 years) but more of the right person for you to experience your life lessons with. Now, well ... now is exciting because you can have freedom and the opportunity to find someone who loves unconditionally and as life is filled with contrasts; this one will be a lovely one for you. Keep in mind that if we close ourselves off from the possibility of being loved, we are also unable to express love either ... and that is the purpose of life ... love.

    I can understand that feeling ... true need ... to be not so much introverted but, to internalise one's sense of self. Highly creative souls must have periods of alone times ... it is how they heal, connect with spirit and then express their inner soul. Totally get that. However, this dual need for others to understand that can become the point of conflict. Wanting to reach out to another being and to feel understood and supported by them is perfectly natural. Holding expectations of what they can do for us is not. My hubby is clueless, despite my explaining it a billion times, as to why I almost hunger for total alone times. I cannot expect him to understand this need only, that he respects it ... which he really does ... for the most part. Wanting to be with someone and wanting to be alone is what it is ... I really felt (through what you have written) that you were fighting yourself unnecessarily on this one. As we get older, we learn to accept what is a lot better. We stop trying to see things only one way and begin (not always successfully LOL) to understand and accept the purpose often is just what it is.

    Loneliness within self is, I believe, a true desire for the soul to reconnect with its source. What you are missing the most is not outside of you at all ... it is your time with the real you. You said you had not been creative (as in painting and expressing) for a year? Dear friend ... this is why you feel as torn as you do. For creative people ... the soul MUST express. It simply knows no other way of relating to the world around it, of understanding its role within it or, indeed, in fulfilling its higher purpose ... its expression. I really think your answer will come once you begin to reconnect through expression and form. That is how you will understand this feeling of loneliness and especially, how it is not external to you. Once the inner self is in tune, back in line with the present and centred again, the Universe supports this by presenting the soul with more possibilities ... for love, for lessons, for everything. Once you align like this within the universal energy, like energy returns.

    You are a deeply profound individual my Pisces friend. You have an abundance of life yet to live and a whole host of new souls to meet. Please, if you see the signs of sabotage coming along, squish it and allow the opportunity to shine. You never know what's around the next corner ... or who ... right???? LOL Keep part of you alive, ok?

    I was sorry to not see your work ... or, did I not look in the right place? Your chosen form of creating a representation of your self sounds very interesting. I am glad that you have a way to actually work through your emotions and feelings in such a vivid and real way ... many don't you know. I hope you paint and paint and create a lot.

    Well just wanted to let you know I hadn't forgotten you. My life will be chaotic for a little while so hold the thought that I do think of you even if I'm not quite here writing it.

    May the Goddess bless you (& your dear little son),

    Ice x



  • My boyfriend is a Pisces and he is always describing himself as lonely much the way you have. I think it may be a trait of your sign. It hurts me when he says he's lonely because I always try to be there for him. I use to try to "fix" his loneliness but now I just listen to him and try to be understanding. He thinks know one understands him. I want and I try to. I get frustrated sometimes and just when I am about to give up...he comes around.

    TruePiscesGal, maybe you can give me some insight into this Pisces loneliness. What do you want your love ones to do when you are feeling lonely? Leave you alone? Try to cheer you up? Just listen to you?