Need some definite direction in my life at this time



  • having problems with the behavior of my sons towards me with their wives. they tell their wives everything i say when what i say to them is only for them. this cause bad feelings between me and my daughters-in-law. i want to know why would they betray me like this?



  • Please don't torture yourself over this--it just is the way life is. I raised 4 sons and we were very close and it was hard to accept that change. It's not your sons betraying you. If there's something you really don't want their wives to know you keep it to yourself as they will tell their wives. Early on with my first son I asked him not to tell his wife things and without malice he told me that I couldn't ask that and of course he's going to tell her stuff. Husband and wife have a strong bond just like mom and son only now the son must leave his mom to "cleave" to his wife. If you want him to be happy never come between the two. If you put your son in a position to choose--you will lose.Believe me, I mourned that change--cried some tears because my sons shared themselves with me much more before they were married. It's how it is supposed to be. You must trust that their love for you is always there and if you truelly need them they will be there. You must be careful when critisizing their wives--in fact just don't do it. The only time I ever comment about daughterinlaws is if my son asks or brings it up first. You don't have to like it--I agree it bites but if you fight it you will lose and If the wife is not happy your son is not happy and if the wife decides she really can't stand you she will drag your son far far as she can. You are not alone--talk to other mothers with married children--specialy the ones who all get along. Read a book on the subject. Your sons are just doing what they are supposed to do. I try to see the best in my daughterinlaws and I keep complaints to myself or share with my husband when I'm irritated with their Quirks or imature demands. Bottom line is if my son is happy I'm happy.