My marriage is in shambles!

  • I have been married to my husband for 3 years, but, we have been together for five years. We are both 24 years old (he will be 25 on Jan. 26 he's an aquarius and I'm a leo) and we share a 3 yr. old son together. We had a beatiful 3 bedroom house with a full basement and a jaquzzie tub. A few months before we moved in he went into this, what I thought to be a deepresion stage. He would come home from work and play sad music and cry to it all night long, he even tried to breakup with me exactly one day before our 3rd wedding anniversary, saying that he felt like me and our son would be better off with out him and that he didn't know what was wrong with him, he couldn't underatand why he didn't love the mother of his child and so on and so forth. Of course I cried my eyes out and poured my heart out to him asking him why was he doing this. For some reason he suddenly changes his mind and tells me that he needs mental help. We celbrated our anniversary the next day as plannned and I thought everything was cool. In July we moved into our very first house. It was a beautiful 3bdrm full basement with a bar, jaquzzie tub having dream house. All of a sudden he starts acting weird again, he would spend the night out saying that he didn't feel like driving all the way back home, then he started spending weeks at a time away from home leaving me and my 3yr. old son out in the middle off no where with no transportation and no food. He just didn't care. I told him that he had changed and that I wasn't happy . It seemed to have no effect on him. Things just went downhill from there. He started to slowly move his clothes out of the house, he didn't want to have sex anymore, he became really cold toward me and had no regard for my feelings what so ever. I had no choice but to move me and my son out, he left us stranded. Now me and my son are living with my parents. He calls me from time to time to talk to our son. We have only been seperated for 2 months and he says that he wants to divorce me. It's only been 2 months, how could he be so sure that thats what he really wants. Now he has decided to go to the Marines because he says that he doesn't feel like a man and that he can't support his famliy financialy. He has turned into a compulsive liar, you can't believe one word that he says, and he's always trying to play theses mind control games with me , but I called his ass on it. Yesterday I told him that he was a horrible person and that I wanted him out of my life for good. I had to go down to his job later to sign some papers for him to go to the Marines since I'm still his wife , even thogh I had cussed him out earlier that day he was trying to be buddy buddy with me like I was just suppossed to smile in his face like everything was cool. I treated him like he wasn't shit to me. Thats the exact same way that he treats me. I don't understand what is going on in his mind. Some people say that it's the aquarius in him, some people say that he's young and needs to find out who he is. I just wish someone could help me get a better understnding of what is going on inside that head of his.

  • Oh my, I'm an aquarius and I don't behave that way. Honestly, it sounds like he does have a problem either with depression or possibly bipolar. I'm not a medical doctor however he needs a consultation. Please remember one thing and that is to separate yourself from him, do not let his energy drain you. You didn't do anything to deserve this treatment from him. Please do not allow him to treat you this way, take your power back which it sounds like you have by getting away from him. If he has a serious medical problem, I doubt the US military will enlist him and trust him with a weapon. Let him go, pray for him, pray that God will help him heal, pray for your own healing. You need to be strong for that beautiful child you have, he is very lucky to have a steady, stable parent who loves him enough to show him how to behave. You are a good soul and please stay strong.

  • Hi, He can not care for you or the baby. Seems like when ya'll got the house, he slipped away. Something must be wrong w/his job and his feelings of financial security. He probably made a good move by joining the military. Let them figure him out. He might come out better. Something tells me he won't though. Let's hope he does.

    He is dumping the responsibility solely on you. I'm glad your parents are helping you. Care for your child because you have the job of two people now. But I think you can do it. Worry about what the next (best) move is for your family and forget about him. Turn the page and write your own story. I'm an Aquarius and can't claim a personality like this.

  • Uhm...

    Dear, if he said he needs mental help, then obviously all was not well. Forgive my boldness, but I think you simply chose not to see the problem, either consciously or subconsciously. There's no way a person can go from being THAT heartbroken to "just peachy" in the span of one day.

    It'd be better for you two to officially separate, and let him work on his own problems and for you to work on yours. I'm not saying you have problems, of course, but I get the feeling that you're a tad co-dependent based on the way you seem to have reacted to the situation.

    It's sad that a marriage has to end, but there's no point in you holding on if he's already made his wishes perfectly clear... it'll only hurt you, and your child.

    Good luck.

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