Can anyone help? Confused with my Libra man
I was in a relationship for over 4 years with a wonderful Libra man. We had a horrible break up the end of February where we lived together. He has moved out and wanted me to write every day about what was going on. After a month, he started to come back around. I was in a bad depression when we broke up. For 3 weeks, he came by once a week for several hours to see the kids and taste the waters again. It's been 2 weeks now and I haven't heard from him. He is still reading my daily letters to him and I'm really confused right now. He works a lot, but things were going well. We are each others soul mate and the connection spiritually is still there. I feel it and the presence. Is just moving on now or is he trying to regroup and make the changes he needs to make, to try this again? His love for me is still there and strong, it's like he's fighting it. I am an Aries and trying really hard to learn Patience and lack of fear. I have never had a love like this, as I have had with him in the past years. Help! Can anyone tell me if I continue this path or am I wasting my time. It actually hurts right now.
ooh Aries female.. you basically have zero patience, and can be demanding. Libras like harmony, and do not do well with confrontations. They can be rather chatty, and extremely verbal. most likely, he would never put you down directly, but come off as passive aggressive. in other words, he won't confront you directly, but will get back at you indirectly. most likely he moved out to teach you a lesson. Libra signs can be emotionally detached and often will dance around you, and you may never know what he is up to. Libras do lie. reason? is because they would rather lie to you, and to tell you the truth to avoid confrontation or avoid hurting your feelings directly. Libras are indirect.
Libras are ruled by planet Venus, and Aries are ruled by planet Mars. Mars is an aggressive energy, and will do whatever it takes to get what you want. Venus is about harmony, love, and serenity.
Give yourself a break, and pull back entirely. let him pursue you. time for you to stop controlling the relationship.
Good luck, Ms Sunny
catcat1065 last edited by
As a Libra woman in a relationship with an Aries man I can maybe provide some insight. Ms. Sunny is right on in her adivce. Without really knowing the full details, I can only speculate where he is coming from. He sounds like he is in the "Inner conflict" mode. He may be weighing the relationship in his head.. over and over. Like the scales, he will go back and forth until he firgures it out. He may have stopped communication to get his bearrings. Or he may have come to a decision, and is unable or unwilling to communicate that with you. Confrontation to a Libra is a 4 letter word. We would rather cut our losses and go on. But then there is that part, and this is where the conflict comes in. If it was good, and your relationship sounds like it was. He will miss that and reguardless of his decision will attempt to hold on to it, from afar.
Yes, pull back for a while. Don't send the letters for a few days.. make him think. Don't be available the first or second time he trys to contact you or see you. You're busy. If he starts to come around, you'll need to find a way to talk to him about what it is you BOTH really want. Conversation. Talking. Not yelling.. try and keep as much emotional stuff out of it as possible.
Above all, do not use guilt or try and make him feel bad. (Trust me if he loves you he will already have these feelings just for moving out.) It will only make him more reserved.
Not sure if this will help, best of luck.
I don't know what to do. He wants me to write him about the daily things. We also were awarded Court Custody of a little girl, over 2 years ago. She was 5 weeks old when she arrived here and will be 3 mid-June. That is the only Daddy she knows. I also have 2 children of my own. He said all along, I was the one, but I became over-whelmed and went into a depression. I just don't know what to do. I am trying really hard to show patience and doing fairly well. As I said, I have made many changes and sacrifices to myself and the home. Not just for me, but him too. I am a totally new person than what I was ever. I just wish I knew if he is ever coming home again. We all miss him and love him. As I said, we are soul mates and were in love with each other for 6 years and have been together for 4 now. I'm really scared and need to know by doing what I am doing and what he wanted is just a waste of my time.
Thank you ladies. Do either of you do readings? lol I do, but I don't know if they are coming up what I want or for real. lol Everyone elses I have been doing lately are on target. Practicing Patience. I am also leery of stopping the letters after 2 months, as I know how he thinks about some things and will think I am playing a game.
azure2 last edited by
Tell him to get lost! Ask him to give you a daily report or else! I too am in a relationship with a dithering Libran male so I so empathise with you. love and light
Yes, I do readings, and no it's hard to read for yourself. lol, but once you get the fear out of the way, you can refer to your gut or your heart. There it is most accurate. The fact that he wants you to write him a daily report is a bit absurd. It's his way of controlling you. passive aggressive. like the scales, a libra can go back and forth, back and forth. it could come off as being wishy washy or flaky. He is also trying to let you know in his indirect way, that he still want to keep it together with you even if he is not living under your roof. time for you two to stop this silly game, and get on with it.
First, you should pull back entirely, and not do anymore reports. He is being a jerk, and manipulating you big time. You should be telling him, that if he does not decide, and decide soon, then there is no need to continue on is there. he is leaving you in a Limbo, why put up with that?
for god's sakes, you are an Aries, and Aries like to get going, and sit in Limbo. If he can't man up, then tell him you will find a man that can stand behind you. Maybe y our depression drove him nuts, and this is his way of getting you to wake up and change. pretty cruel if you ask me.
Depression is a serious issue, I have been there, and I know what it's like. If you are able, you might want to see a dr or a therapist who can provide proper medications, and if necessary, therapy can help.
what I am picking up intuitively, is you are in need of changing your diet. something to do with nutrition. not good to be starving yourself and loading up on junk or sugary foods. I know it's hard, but you have to be strong, and not allow yourself to be under his control and manipulation.
ask him if he is willing to do marriage/couple counseling? if he says no, then that is him saying he is too scared to be looked at by a therapist. that he could manilate a therapist into believing you are the one with the problem. You two are in pain, and it's time to man up and get some help for the sake of your marriage and your family. 2 months is a long time to be away, but my feeling is that is about to come to an end. depending on how you handle it though. stop reporting to him, and tell him you want to work on it, and he needs to come home. and then let it goooooo. won't be easy, but what else can you do?
oops, I see a few mispells.. here are my corrections.
"for god's sakes, you are an Aries, and Aries like to get going, and sit in Limbo" I meant NOT sit in Limbo.
"if he says no, then that is him saying he is too scared to be looked at by a therapist. that he could manilate a therapist into believing you are the one with the problem. "
I meant Manipulate a therapist.
you will still need a lot of patience if you want to work on it. Less emotions, and not accusing the other of wrongs. In a marriage, and most therapists will tell you, there are no rights or wrong in a marriage. pretty hard to swallow I know. In a couples dynamic, there are 2 sides of the coin, and you both maybe right, and at the same time, you both could be wrong. As long as there has been no deal breakers, and I do not feel he is cheating on you. you do still see him though?
I haven't seen him in 2 weeks now. I believe that deep inside, he will return and don't feel he is seeing anyone else either. He is very sensitive of a person also. I needed to change also, as I was a mess and brought many people down with me. I know he is watching and leery at this moment. I feel it, but also feel his presence here a lot also. The soul mate thing. lol I have started making my letters more generic and less pushy. I reread them and actually get ashamed, if that makes any sense. lol Baby steps to reach a full success? lol As I said, cutting off the letters he would take as a game. I know him too well with that. lol If I make him man up in a pushy way, the decision won't be pretty on his part and will be hasty. Does that make sense? Like I said, we had a great relationship until I stopped following my heart and free spirit and let others and daily life drag me along. Do you see him coming home at all?
Thank you by the way. I really appreciate all of this!
MS Sunny, I did want to add and forgot, I was on anti-depressant meds for years. The only thing it did was let things build and suppress everything from my past. I have been seeing a therapist for almost 2 years now and believe it or not, am doing so much better off of the meds and even better than the help of the therapist. lol It's amazing how much better I feel and realized who I had become, when I could think clearly again and focus on what I needed to. Not only for me but the children. I was bad and that's the truth.
Yes, I do see him coming home.. soon.. I want to say in a few weeks. sorry that you weren't able to find a good therapist. I went through a few here and there, and finally found a good one. not good to go for years and years though. I went for about a year.. I learned a lot. I worked through my depression, and boy that was not easy. the meds could have worked but the side effects were terrible. so that was when I went into therapy.
A third party who can mediate could be beneficial. depends on the therapist. some are just awful, and only want to nod, and write out a prescription. there are some, that can really help by providing insights.
have you considered a life coach? that can be good as well. yes, he will be home, and he is not the type to cheat. so you are good there.
Good luck, Ms Sunny
Thank you so much! It's just a feeling I have and it's just so strong. I have actually learned int he past few weeks a big lesson. lol I am now doing the opposite my therapist says. lol Isn't that sad? lol She's getting paid how much an hour to guide and help me? lol Today we went head to head about the previous 2 sessions. lol She told me to be really bold and let everything out to him, in the letters. Well guess what, she was so wrong and I was wrong to listen to her. lol So today, she told me what she wanted to see me do and I went against her again. lol I followed bits and pieces of what you ladies both said on here. I wrote my letter to him, but put in there about the goals I am working on for me. Like to refine myself and to think before I open my mouth. lol I also apologized for being so bold and brazen. As, Libras accept apologies in letters, I have found. lol I also stated that I believe at this point that discussing our past wouldn't really be beneficial anymore. Why cause more hurt and pain or open the wounds again. That we wipe the slate clean, as it would be more appropriate and starting from scratch. Let's see how that path works. I'm not saying I am giving in by any stretch of the imagination. I am an Aries. lol I am just reworking things a bit and learning what I need to do, to successfully get what I need and to keep it that way. lol Please don't look down on that either. lol
Thank you again and if you would like to email with me, it is reneemariestilwell@yahoo. I am also on FaceBook too. Email me and I will send that info. With much appreciation and hopefully a new friendship!
aaww, you are very open and candid. that is what I really love about Aries. My best friend is an Aries, and married to a Libra by the way. I remember her telling me a few years back. that she needed to learn to be more feminine lol. I laughed, and said yeah sure. what she meant was, that she needed to chill, and not try to control the situation or him. My sister is a Libra. what always stood out, was she always easy going, and very cooperative. sometimes she would blow, but she is more about loves peace and harmony. she can also be wishy washy, and do injustice to you behind your back. so look out lol Libras can get mouthy and become passive aggressive. we all have faults we need to work on, and we are all here to learn our lessons.
I no longer have facebook or myspace. long story short, my FB account was hacked into, and I just closed it.
nice to meet you and best wishes, Sunny
I believe what I told him tonight is this... I am inspired to learn how to be more refined and reserved in my thoughts, out-outspokenness, boldness, thinking more before I speak, not be pushy and not appearing to be so self centered. lol I really do want to change those things, especially when I go back and read my letters. I think OMG! I said that?! lol
It was great to meet you also Sunny! Take care and much Peace to you. Keep in touch!