Hans please



  • drgagannagi,

    so is this conditioning that i have had in my childhood, good or bad? neither nor.

    would it be better for me to follow tradition or leave it? neither nor.

    The very clarity of no-mind will see life all around. There is nothing dead.



  • 1. Please explain this hans?

    so is this conditioning that i have had in my childhood, good or bad? neither nor.

    would it be better for me to follow tradition or leave it? neither nor.

    The very clarity of no-mind will see life all around. There is nothing dead.

    2. Will he get AIDS from his homosexuality?

    3. This NEW guy, 27 ,never married and wanting a true relationship with me. should i tell him im 33 n divorced right now in the beggining or after he meets me in person and forms a bond with me ? Is he truthful in his intentions?



  • drgagannagi,

    1. Please explain this: stand up for your environment.

    2. Will he get AIDS from his homosexuality? No.

    3. should i tell him im 33 n divorced right now in the beggining or after he meets me in person and forms a bond with me ? right now in the beginning.

    Is he truthful in his intentions? Yes.

    How long are you to live in this duality? Drop this duality and unite.



  • I feel like I came across too needy and that I

    drove him away. I feel it was real for me and

    can't get him out of my heart. But I don't want

    to misread what is really in front of me. I know

    I can't contact him. I feel confused if he is

    just keeping in touch because, like you said, he

    didn't want to hurt me and wants to keep me as a

    friend.

    Or does this mean that he is trying to come back.

    I feel really hurt right now and it's like every

    time I have contact with him I start all over

    again hurting and feeling the loss. I don't know

    if I should just e-mail back and not show him or

    let him know what I am feeling or I should tell

    him that I don't want to continue on this way

    because it is too hurtful for me.

    He does not make any attempts to call, text or

    see me. I don't know what is the right thing or

    the best thing for me to do. Is this the type of

    situation where even though it felt real it was

    just imaginary and that's all I had? The thought

    of severing this is scary because what I want is

    for him to come back - or am I just accepting

    crumbs?



  • drgagannagi,

    Or does this mean that he is trying to come back: No.

    I don't know

    if I should just e-mail back and not show him or

    let him know what I am feeling or I should tell

    him that I don't want to continue on this way

    because it is too hurtful for me: you should tell him that you don't want to continue on this way.

    I don't know what is the right thing or the best thing for me to do: do not suppress your natural being any more.

    Is this the type of situation where even though it felt real it was just imaginary

    and that's all I had? Yes, certainly!!!

    am I just accepting crumbs? no.

    Go the path of surrender.



  • The thought of severing this is scary because what I want is for him to come back .

    Have both of us reached an end?

    Is he gone from my life?

    Will he re- emerge?

    I should email him and tell him I could not continue this way? Also tell him that i am moving on with somebody else? Ask him to be my friend again? Tell him about my new boyfriend ? That I am moving on? Or just forget him? Never contact him again?

    I told this NEW guy , my age, marital status....he hasn't called back?

    but the white NEW guy is in touch and maybe we will meet?



  • what is the path of surrender?

    what am i to do to be on that path?



  • drgagannagi.

    Have both of us reached an end? Yes.

    Is he gone from my life? No.

    Will he re- emerge? No.

    I should email him and tell him I could not continue this way? No.

    Also tell him that i am moving on with somebody else? No.

    Ask him to be my friend again? No.

    Tell him about my new boyfriend? Yes, certainly.

    That I am moving on? No.

    Or just forget him? No.

    Never contact him again? No.

    I told this NEW guy , my age, marital status....he hasn't called back? No.

    but the white NEW guy is in touch and maybe we will meet? yes.

    what is the path of surrender? It says, let it happen.

    what am i to do to be on that path? no longer keeping your breath and clinging to what you are used to.

    This means: freedom from yourself.



  • Hey there hans

    I am distancing myself from J is this right ?

    I am strongly tempted to push for divorce - what do you think

    J seems completely unmotivated in action what should I make of this

    UBB x



  • Ultrablondbird,

    I am distancing myself from J is this right ? No.

    I am strongly tempted to push for divorce - what do you think: first meet and celebrate with close friends.

    J seems completely unmotivated in action what should I make of this: harmonize well with this.

    A thought arises, anger is coming up. He has

    insulted you and you feel angry -- a thought arises, a

    smoke of anger arises. Who is this who knows that the

    anger is coming in? And then it subsides too! One

    moment it was not there, one moment it was there, again

    it is gone. Now who is this who is witnessing? This is

    you! But can you witness this witness? There is no way.

    If you can witness that witness, then the one that is

    witnessing will be you -- not the witnessed one, but

    the witnessing one.



  • Dear hans thank u for your responses. U r right, the thought of divorce doesn't feel right. I don't know how to stay close to Jer without becoming consumed by his needs.

    I am not sure what u r saying with your last comments

    Ubb

    Xx



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  • Ultrablondbird,

    this is very strange! Peace is on the lips. and a loaded gun in the heart. Unless you inner violence disappears, you cannot be peaceful.



  • fanaa25,

    in life, dead dogmas are useless. Only an alive consciousness is useful because every moment the sin

    and the virtue changes. Something was a virtue in the

    morning. It may not be virtuous in the evening. It

    depends on you, on others, on circumstances. It is not

    a dead thing that you can carry with you. It is

    changing every moment. Unless you have a flexibility, a

    sensitivity to change with life, you will not be able

    to know what is sin. Every moment life goes on moving.

    Something was virtuous in a certain moment. The same

    thing can become a sin in another moment. So no dogma

    is possible.



  • So hans, u think whatever we had has ended?

    He will never be in my life again?

    As you say tell him about your new boyfriend.... For what? What effect will my telling him have on him?

    Shold i call or email him about my new bf?

    y



  • drgagannagi,

    u think whatever we had has ended? no.

    He will never be in my life again? No.

    As you say tell him about your new boyfriend.... For what? For sending you on the way to your new boyfriend.

    What effect will my telling him have on him? The effect of recognizing you as being the empress of your life.

    Shold i call or email him about my new bf? Neither nor.

    In any aboriginal society rape does not exist because

    young children, the moment they become aware of their

    sexual energy and the upsurge of sensuality, are not

    allowed to live in their parents' houses. They have a

    hall in the village; all the young people live in that

    hall. They come in contact with all kinds of girls and

    all kinds of boys; they are allowed absolute sexual

    freedom, with only one condition -- which seems to be

    very significant -- that you can be with a girlfriend

    or a boyfriend for only three days; then you have to

    change.

    This gives a chance for everybody to experience

    everybody else, and also it gives an immense

    opportunity to drop jealousy. It is absolutely

    impossible to be jealous because your girlfriend is now

    moving with somebody else. There is no fixed

    relationship; only for three days can you be together,

    then you move on, you change.

    By the time they are of marriageable age, they are so

    experienced with every girl of the tribe and every boy

    of the tribe that they can choose the right partner;

    the one with whom they are in the most harmonious

    relationship. Strangely enough, in such a licentious

    society there is no rape -- it has never been recorded

    in the whole history of mankind -- and there is no

    divorce either. They have found the right person

    because they have been given the opportunity. Their

    love goes on growing, their harmony becomes richer and

    richer each day.

    In aboriginal societies divorce is unknown, adultery

    is unknown. Not that they have any commandments, but by

    the simple fact that everybody has known everybody else

    in the tribe... and after this knowledge and experience

    they have chosen their partners. Parents don't arrange

    marriages; the young people choose for themselves.

    In a rebellious society the pattern will be the same.



  • Ok, hans I agree with what ur saying...

    Iam not to contact him by email or call. Will he?

    When will i tell him abt my new bf if neither i am calling nor he?



  • drgagannagi,

    Iam not to contact him by email or call. Will he? Yes.

    When will i tell him abt my new bf if neither i am calling nor he? When the relationship to your new boyfriend will be compulsive enough.

    Rest for four or five days, do not come in contact with anyone and do not create any unnecessary conflict.



  • Hi hans,

    I havent contacted my bf over email or the phone. Its over a month now. Neither has he.

    The second younger guy who entered my life is texting me and called me yesterday. he is come to visit near my place and may ask me to meet him.

    The white guy is keeping in touch too and might want to meet next week.



  • drgagannagi,

    I have read an anecdote.

    While walking along a creek bank a man came across a

    young fellow lying lazily under a tree with a fishing

    line in the water, on which the cork was bobbling

    frantically.

    'Hey, you've got a bite!' he said.

    'Yeah.' drawled the fisherman. 'Would you mind pulling

    it out?'

    The walker did so, only to have the recumbent one

    ask,'Would, you mind taking the fish off, rebaiting the

    hook, and tossing it back in the creek?'

    This was done and the man commented jokingly,'As lazy

    as you are, you ought to have some kids to do these

    things for you.'

    'Not a bad idea,' yawned the fisherman. 'Got any idea

    where I could find a pregnant woman?'

    That's how the mind is; it does not want to do

    anything. It simply hopes, desires, postpones.


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