Hans please



  • TDSMITH0928,

    but why does he treat me like trash and the ones he is flirting with like they are everything: because he does no more invest anything in you.

    is he cheating with the one he is working with: no.

    i just don't know if by just telling him yes go flirt and chase every blond thing you can find and i will just sit here and wait for you to finish and wait on you and be your slave is going to make it positiv: yes.

    so is this all there is to love??? no.

    I do recommend you hypnosis. Hypnosis is a great art: it can help you drop all kinds of resentment, all kinds of jealousies, hatred, competition. It can clean your inner shrine completely – that you grow up and do not only grow old.



  • hans, yesterday i was filing up an application to find a job for my boyfriend, and i asked him his last salary, to my surprise i found out a vast diffrence in what he told me he earned and what actually he earned. his salary was very high, but he always asked for birthday gifts, money from me and never ever offered to give me anything , not even single penny over past 5 years and he always showed me he was in bad financial position all the time, i thought he was earning 20, 000 per month whereas his current confession shows 66, 000. i had never told him what i was earning, it was 20, 000 per month but he never knew.

    is this true that he was earning so much...? was he using me for money? or is there some mistake? he is just quoting that salary to future companies? or he thought i was earning high?



  • part 2

    also he keeps saying when I get good job , I will buy gifts and come to meet you,

    Does he really feel that he hasn't done much for me so he will do in the future?, or he is just lying and giving me sweet pills?



  • drgagannagi,

    is this true that he was earning so much...? no.

    was he using me for money? no.

    or is there some mistake? no.

    he is just quoting that salary to future companies? yes.

    or he thought i was earning high? no.

    Does he really feel that he hasn't done much for me so he will do in the future? no.

    or he is just lying and giving me sweet pills? yes.

    Whatsoever you want, give and you will not remain

    empty. You will be fulfilled, immensely fulfilled;

    beyond your imagination, beyond your dreams you will be

    fulfilled.



  • thank you hans....that was very clear!

    does he love money more than me?

    what will be our money equation in the future? always me to him? never back?

    when he gets a high job will he give me money and gifts? he says so...,should i believe him?

    will his sweet pills stop? should i stand up and tell him that his actions will show me and he need not give me all sweet pills without action ? or i keep quiet?



  • drgagannagi,

    does he love money more than me? no.

    what will be our money equation in the future? You stoically face trial after trial, knowing your loyal labors will benefit another.

    always me to him? yes.

    never back? no.

    when he gets a high job will he give me money? yes.

    he says so...,should i believe him? no.

    will his sweet pills stop? no.

    should i stand up and tell him that his actions will show me and he need not give me all sweet pills without action ? yes.

    or i keep quiet? no.

    You have started seeing. And the moment you start seeing you will not find anything to drop. The deeper you go into the ego the more nonsubstantial you find it. And once you have looked through and through, you simply laugh at the whole thing. It is so ridiculous, because it is not there. And how long it has tortured you; and for how many lives it has been a h-ell to you; how many miseries it has created for you. Incalculable has been the harm – by something which is not in the first place.



  • you mean to say hans i have taken all this misery and pain for nothing?

    Incalculable has been the harm – by something which is not in the first place.

    this means that there is nothing between us? still i have taken this pain for him? I have been a fool?



  • drgagannagi

    you mean to say i have taken all this pain for nothing? yes.

    this means that there is nothing between us? no.

    still i have taken this pain for him? no.

    I have been a fool? No.

    The ego is a misunderstanding, so when you understand, the misunderstanding disappears. It is as if you have been calculating and you have put two plus two is five, and the whole calculation goes wrong. Then suddenly you look, you find the error, you see where you had gone wrong – two plus two is not five, two plus two is four.



  • hans, i want to thank you, every day you talk to me, i consider you my mentor, i am already seeing changes in me as a person, everyday i think of the things that you are conveying to me by your short stories and i try to get the meaning out of them. you have given me much strength.

    has he taken me for a ride by making me spend money on him? did he have no intention of reciprocating? or he just didn't have money? we are always told if a person has you in your heart, he wil do little if not a big way......

    doesnt relationship need balance?recieving from me is all he knows? what about him giving?

    he thinks i am mother teresa , im a woman with him , he doesnt feel need to do anything? is he not suppossed to do anything? when will he spend on me like a man does for a woman?

    is it ok for me to be with a man who is this? we were never taught by god to recieve unequal treatment. i don't NEED his money, i can earn well for me, but a woman desires her man to please her.



  • has he taken me for a ride by making me spend money on him? no.

    did he have no intention of reciprocating? no.

    or he just didn't have money? no

    doesnt relationship need balance? yes, certainly.

    recieving from me is all he knows? yes.

    what about him giving? he tries, but he is afraid of his inside.

    he doesnt feel need to do anything? no.

    is he not suppossed to do anything? no.

    when will he spend on me like a man does for a woman? when a change has happened to him.

    is it ok for me to be with a man who is this? no.

    If somebody else is growing up, rejoice, celebrate, because whatsoever can happen to one human being can happen to every other human being.



  • 1.he tries but he is afraid of his inside. what his inside tells him? why is he afraid?

    2.when a change has happened to him he will do for me? what will cause this change to happen?

    3.u say he is not supposed to do anything. why?

    4.u also say it will only go from me to him. why?

    what will be our money equation in the future? You stoically face trial after trial, knowing your loyal labors will benefit another.

    5.will my efforts and labor bear results that i desire with him? will these trials i am facing be worth it?



  • drgagannagi,

    1.he tries but he is afraid of his inside. what his inside tells him? to be mistrustful and keep distance.

    why is he afraid? because you want a suppressive conventional marriage with him.

    2.when a change has happened to him he will do for me? no.

    what will cause this change to happen? his being alone.

    3.u say he is not supposed to do anything. why? because he is a beggar.

    4.u also say it will only go from me to him. why? because of suppressing the energy.

    what will be our money equation in the future? looking at the money, waiting for the money.

    5.will my efforts and labor bear results that i desire with him? yes.

    will these trials i am facing be worth it? no.

    There are two ways for change to happen in the world: one change happens in space, the other happens in time. Every change happens in time and space.



  • So I am not supposed to be wanting a marriage with him according to him? According to him, what can he give me, what kind of thing/relationship?

    His being alone from me will cause that change to happen? or being alone from other people? Should I always keep all my communication chanels open?

    I have been waiting.. When do you see this change happening?

    Im not afraid of waiting , Im afraisd whether Im waiting for the right man? Is this my life's PATH? Is he the chosen one from GOD? Or he is just another in my life?

    he is in Cali, Im in Florida, he's looking for a job these days, do you see him getting one in Ca? or he will move to florida ? as Im searching for him too. If he moves, should I pressurize him to stay with me? or wait as a friend till he makes the move? He never takes any initiative, he always has the submissive role. Will this go on generally ? or U see some role reversal happening for me? as Im always the dominant role/ MALE and I miss my feminity. Is he like this with me only? Can he be dominant with other females? We have been in different states since 8 months and physically/relationship apart since 2.5 years? How do you want me to manage this situation? He would never make a move for intimacy if I don't push, I think and know that. Do you say that too? or he will?



  • drgagannagi,

    So I am not supposed to be wanting a marriage with him according to him? No.

    According to him, what can he give me, what kind of thing/relationship? There will be feasting, peace, rest and joy, when meeting happens.

    His being alone from me will cause that change to happen? No.

    or being alone from other people? no.

    Should I always keep all my communication chanels open? No.

    When do you see this change happening? When you are identified with your will power.

    Im afraisd whether Im waiting for the right man? No.

    Is this my life's PATH? NO.

    Is he the chosen one from GOD? NO.

    Or he is just another in my life? No.

    he's looking for a job these days, do you see him getting one in Ca? yes.

    or he will move to florida ? no.

    If he moves, should I pressurize him to stay with me? Yes.

    or wait as a friend till he makes the move? no.

    Will this go on generally ? No.

    or U see some role reversal happening for me? yes.

    Is he like this with me only? No.

    Can he be dominant with other females? No.

    We have been in different states since 8 months and physically/relationship apart since 2.5 years? No.

    How do you want me to manage this situation? Being led by others expectations would lead you to misfortune. Communicate your expectations to him.

    Do you say that too? Yes.

    or he will? no.

    One day a meek little man is kneeling in church

    praying. "Please, God," he mumbles, "please make my

    boss give me a raise so that I can keep up the payments

    on my house, and so that my children don't go hungry

    ..."

    Just then the church door bursts open and a big black

    guy in sunglasses strolls in whistling a tune. He goes

    up to the altar, raises his hands and says, "Hey, man.

    You up there, God! I really dig you, man. Give me a

    beautiful new woman, a big new car, and a huge new

    mansion to live in. And I want it fast."

    He then turns around and walks out. The little man is

    shocked and continues to pray.

    Next week the little man is back, still praying for

    the same things, when he is startled by a screech of

    brakes outside the church. In walks the big black guy

    with a gorgeous woman by his side. He strides up to the

    altar and says, "Hey, God! Thanks, man, for the car and

    the girl. And hey, man! The house is superb!"

    After the black guy has gone, the little man goes up

    to the altar and says, "Dear God, you answered his

    prayers. Why don't you answer mine?"

    A voice booms out from behind the altar, "Sorry, man,

    I just don't dig you!"



  • oh my god, hans that was a pretty nice story...

    am i symbolically the meek little man praying in a meek voice? whereas you are impying i need to be like the black man? that is what you mean to tell me from the story?

    secondly, u say YES he will get a job in california, then when i ask you will he move to florida? you say YES, How will he move to florida if he will get work in California?



  • drgagannagi,

    am i symbolically the meek little man praying in a meek voice? yes.

    whereas you are impying i need to be like the black man? no.

    that is what you mean to tell me from the story? no.

    How will he move to florida if he will get work in California? By struggling in an inner conflict.

    It is perfectly logical. If a man can become a

    butterfly in a dream, there seems to be no

    contradiction; a butterfly can become a man in a dream.

    What is reality?



  • you mean to suggest that I have to change my approach towards him ( meek man vs black man) in order to let my desires met from HIM?

    What is his inner conflict? What will make him shift from Ca to Florida?



  • drgagannagi,

    you mean to suggest that I have to change my approach towards him ( meek man vs black man) in order to let my desires met from HIM? yes.

    What is his inner conflict? being hurt he is tight up.

    What will make him shift from Ca to Florida? His work.

    When he comes and becomes too much excited he is soon

    exhausted, and when he is exhausted he is angry

    at you; when he is exhausted he turns into an enemy

    rather than into afriend. Obviously to him you are the

    cause for his breakdown, and he cannot forgive you.

    Deep down in his mind he carries an idea that ecstasy

    was given to him and now it has been taken away.



  • Hans, today he called me to tell me the news that he got a job in California, And he is happy.

    Now How do you think he will ever move, to Florida and i can pressurize him to stay with me?

    How is our relationship going to work out if we are staying apart?



  • drgagannagi,

    Now How do you think he will ever move, to Florida and i can pressurize him to stay with me? By separating yourself from him.

    How is our relationship going to work out if we are staying apart? By exchange of hearts, by giving your love to each other.

    This is a vicious circle. The wheel goes on moving again and again on the same route. Drop out -- out of the wheel. Say, "No more of it. You need not leave me because now I leave myself every moment."


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