Marriage Failure Update

  • Hello friends,

    It has now been six months since my husband left and at last I am getting stronger, feeling happier and calmer within myself. The thing that still hurts the most is that he still ignores me and has lied to anyone who will listen to him about me. I did nothing in this marriage that was so awful that I get to be treated this way but I am trying really hard to deal with this the best way I can. Why are some people so evil (maybe evil is a bit strong) but it is how it feels.....

  • Groovyger,

    It is a very good thing you are away from him, you are way to good of a person to have someone who lives so negatively in your life. Count your blessing that you are no longer together, and that he ignores you. Be thankful.

    As far as his slander of you, the only people that listen are people like him, bitter, nasty, and pathetic people. Everyone else sees what he says as exactly what it is, a crummy human being continuing to pick on someone he can not pick on anymore. They see him as the piece of crap he is, and do not much listen to what it is he is saying about you. So do not let it upset you.

    Hold your head high, your life is just going to continue to improve, and a year from now you will be able to look back and see just how much so. Hang in there!

    God Bless,


  • Hi Groovyger, This landed in my mail system today. Seems fitting for what you are going through. It's long but has a great message. ((Hugs)) - Brian is right, it will get better.


    The story is told that a man who often felt insulted by people once went to a very wise man and told him about his problem.

    He said: “I am easily insulted by people and it really hurts me when people say bad things to me”.

    The wise man asked, “if someone gives you a gift and you don’t accept the gift, who does the gift belong to?”

    The man replied, “Obviously to the person who is giving it to me”.

    “There you go,” said the wise man, “that’s the answer. So if someone insults you and you do not accept the insult, who does it belong to?’

    For us to be insulted, be belittled, angered, wronged, we must accept it from the giver. The minute we accept it, it becomes ours, we own it and it becomes our stuff.

    I know this is much easier said than done, but often people project their stuff on to us. If we accept it, it becomes our stuff. We are then offended, angered, wronged and so forth.

    This is about choice and how we choose to allow the world and others to affect us. To live positive lives we need to think about the following:

    The good opinion of other people:

    People’s opinion is actually just that, their opinion, we can take from it what we want and extract from it the good and let the rest go.

    Often they mean well, which is beside the point. What you choose to accept, will influence your life.

    You are what you consume:

    You have to ask yourself : Do you consume a lot of negativity and insults? If you do, you will obviously be affected by this. It’s the same in what we eat and drink, what we listen to and what we watch.

    If the stimuli are negative. If you drink too much alcohol, soon you’ll be drunk. IF you listen to too many negative things, soon you’ll be miserable and negative.

    Let the change start with you:

    By now you know that in order to receive less negativity in your life, you need to be less negative. If you want to see better and more lovable people in the world, you have to be more lovable and a better person. .

    So give the gift of love, respect, positivity and a better life and refuse to accept the “gifts” of insults and negativity.

  • Fanofkmm,

    Nice post!

  • Brian and Fanofkmm,

    Thanks so much, your comments are very much appreciated.


  • Groovyger,

    My pleasure. Best wishes.

  • Keep your chin up Groovyger, don't sink to his level.

    Keep well, fan

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