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  • Libralady2008,

    Everyone gets to a point in a relationship that their baggage or issues (past hurts, past emotional garbage) start to kick in, and sometimes that stuff highjacks the person's ability to function. This is where confusion stems from when everything else seems to be going fine. The problem for someone on your end is simple, there is nothing you can do about another persons issues. There does not need to be someone else, although weak people who give in to their issues typically hop from rock to rock, even before one relationship is over. In this case, if there is or is not another person (and I do not think there is) is besides the point. If he is it has nothing to do with you at all, and everything to do with him. People with issues need to get right onto being with someone else, so they do not have to confront themselves. He needs some counseling, and the best way to do that, if he wants to be with you, is to get him to go to couples counseling with you. I know, a tall order, but it is worth a try. He may have gotten over whatever issue it was that blocked him from moving forward with you in the past, and that is why he is back, but it would still be good to do couples counseling with him.



  • Thanks for all the advice and support



  • Dear Brian,

    He's not really back in my life. Still with the other female, she is from his past. I still love him just hard to move on. What do you pick up on just me? if you would... thank you...



  • Oh, don't think that there is any hope for us getting back together. From what I understand they are engaged and making plans for land and home,after only being together for about 5 months.. Same thing that him and I had talked about while we were together.. Just don't understand how he could move on that quickly.. I am still torn apart..cause I do love him.. thanks again.



  • Jotoole,

    You can do what you need to do, of that I have no doubt. Your Irish / Italian heritage will serve you well.



  • Libralady2008,

    How people move on so quickly is quite interesting indeed. Fact is, most have moved way too quickly, and they will pay for it dearly. You on the other hand are blessed, does not feel that way, but you get to deal with this whole thing, and 6 months from now, a year from now, you will have come a long way, and will be a better person. He on the other hand will learn about moving to quickly is some of the harshest ways possible. Engaged huh? Then that means marriage, and that means land and a home that will get split right down the middle, along with his salary if she does not work when they split. Oh I did not mention that, they will not last, they will split, and she will get half of everything. That does not help you much right now, but you can work on yourself now that you are not involved, you can do things that interest you now, whenever you want. And if I were you I would do that.

    Also, for your pent up hurt, anger, not understanding, and being torn apart, you can write. Buy a notebook and write to him how you feel, that is everything you feel, you will not be sending it. Once you fill up the notebook, then destroy it (burn it, shred it, page by page). Then get another notebook and start over. You will know when your are done writing to him.

    You also need to move, I always suggest walking as most everybody can walk, and most everybody can do that without overdoing it. Movement, sunlight, and fresh air are good combatants against the blues.

    Take care of yourself, and do that well,

    BrianTristan



  • Dearest Brian,

    Thank you so much for responding back to me. I had actually thought about doing some walking like you suggested since the weather has started to be so nice out. I hadn't really thought about the writing but that could help me to vent out everything that I do feel and have been feeling ever since he left in November.Just have gone through so much over the past 2 yrs and this also in the last 6 months.Had alot of heart ache that I have dealt with.. What so you pick up in the future for me and my children ? Hope it will be alot better than what has gone on in the last few years. Just seems to have had a bad time of late and hope that it is going to get better really soon. Thank you again for this. You are a kind soul and hope that your days are filled with happiness,love and peace...... Thank you so much



  • Libralady2008,

    Get your attitude to improve, which is an easy concept, but a bit more difficult in practice, and your life will follow and improve. Walking, fresh air, sun on your face, all good. Writing, and getting those pent up feelings out, will be very good for you. Your spirits will lift, and as that happens, lift your attitude, and the good things in life will just flow for you. You will be surprised it is that simple.

    Find peace, and you will find happiness,

    BrianTristan



  • thank you Brian..I will do the best that I can,but as you said it is more difficult to practice. Thank you again for doing this. God bless you.. and thank you again



  • Jotoole,

    You are very welcome.

    Libralady2008,

    God does bless me, in helping others, by sharing His guidance given to me for you, gives me a great sense of satisfaction. I also mix in some common sense, as people in turmoil cannot usually see such basic things like that. In the end it also makes my life clearer to me, so for all the give, I do get a great deal out of it. And even if it only made others' lives better, that would be enough for me. You are very welcome.