Need advice for Cancer woman dating Gemini man!
I am for some reason attracted to Gemini's and I am a cancer. I am on my second long term relationship with one. My first gemini was a much healthier relationship, he communicated with me better and although I had my suspicions when he would disappear and not answer the phone, he still respected the fact that a phone call meant the world to me.
My current Gemini is a total Gemini. That's the best way to put it. Because of his frequent disappearing acts I get very suspicious and he almost never calls. Every couple of days he sends a text asking what I am up to. We spend atleast 2 days a week together, but then he is off into the world leaving me wondering if he is up to no good.
Me being a cancer, I keep a nice home which I have given him a key to. I wanted him to know that he will always have a home with me. I cook meals for him, cut his hair, do his laundry. I'd make a wonderful housewife. This is just how I am towards my men, however I am not sure my Gemini appreciates what I do to make him happy and show him I love him.'
I have also become aware of other women in his life which causes even more stress for me. He still communicates and sees several ex girlfriends. I told him that it bothers me and he assured me they are only friends. There is one in particular I am very unfond of, she has harrassed me before and tried to tell me things to upset me. I had to walk away.
He left some of his personal things open on my computer about a week ago and I found information that hurt me to the point of having to call out from work for several days. I found several conversations between 3 different women. The first girl lives in Europe but I found out they dated before and the last they physically saw eachother was 7 months ago when he and I just began dating. The second girl lives 45 minutes away and is the same girl that harrassed me at the party. The third girl is a new girl he just met last week, she lives 5 hours away. With all of these girls he sends them messages and tells them how beautiful and special they are, and that he misses them. With the European girl he messaged her asking if he could stay with her.
The only one I let him know I was aware of was the girl from the party. I called him crying telling him I can't handle it and I can only be with him if he is exclusive to me. I also told him I needed him to be honest with me and tell me everything.
It is really hard to talk to him about this, not only because I don't want to get hurt, but because it is so hard to get him to open up. I feel stuck and I don't know what to do. Please help! Any advice other than to dump him and not date Gemini's anymore?
worthy1248 last edited by
Get ready for the roller coaster sorry to say. This is to a trait of Gemini's. You say you just met him. Gemini's are very Social people and like to Communicate this is what they do. Does he give you a lot of his time? Don't let him see hoe insecure you are. Where are your friends? Show him two can play that game. Stay in contact with your friends. Gemini can also be jealous creature's, don't think their not. All I can say is do you.
Actually I have known him for quite awhile now and we have been together for 7 months. He gives me time when I ask for it, but I usually don't. I wait for him to contact me and generally we spend a minimum of 2 days a week together.
My friends are close and I bring him around my friends more often than he brings me around his. A friend of mine told me I should start flirting with other men infront him. I might just actually start doing that to see what happens.
I was also thinking about having a party to get him to socialize with my friends. I just wish his need to flirt with other women wasn't there.
natapier last edited by
Cancer + Gemini
Water + Air = Rain and not compatible
Being a Cancer, ruled by the Moon, you are sensitive and emotional. You feel rather than think. Gemini is more intellectual and thoughtful, living in the head rather than the heart.
Geminis find it difficult to get their emotions involved, even in love and sex. You want to connect with Gemini’s heart, but this could be too hard — their brain dominates them in everything. From Gemini’s point of view, if you fail to connect with them intellectually, they will lose interest.
Maybe you should try in the future to date water signs like Scorpio( Oct 24-Nov 21) or Pisces ( Feb 19-Mar 21). Good luck
wow well here is an update since my original post.
I had a party on Wednesday night, all men in attendance. I didn't plan for it to be that way, but I guess the majority of my friends are male and the females invited couldn't come. Well next day my Gemini bf was very hungover and I took care of him all day. I got a phone call from a friend and I talked to her on speaker. She brought up some guy I used to date 2 years ago, and I shushed her and turned it around that he was her ex. I just don't like or want to bring up ex boyfriends or hook ups around my current man. Well his mood totally changed after that he walked around the house and packed up everything he has here and started to walk out. I asked him to talk to me and he wouldn't.
I got him to stay and I could feel something was wrong and it was about that conversation, but he would not communicate. Later on he asked me if I had hooked up with another friend of mine who was at the party. I said, "no, he is just a very close friend of mine and is like a brother to me. We never hooked up."
Now this morning I woke up and checked my phone and it was clear he had gone through it. He read text messages and then texted my best friend "I think (His name) knows about (my ex) and (my last vacation)." So he's trying to get it out of her that I cheated on him on my vacation. That is what he assumed I did. When I asked him if he was on my phone he denied it. He then got a phone call picked up his stuff and walked out without saying a word.
My friend responded back on my phone that I should "tell him the truth". Why not I mean the truth isn't bad, but he probably assumed from her response that I did cheat and I needed to confess. I had to run outside and catch him so I could tell him that I didn't cheat. He didn't even want to talk to me, he was so stuck on his assumption of me cheating!!!!!!! So I told him that guy was 2 years ago and I did NOT cheat on my vacation. I got him back in the house and told him that although I don't tell him that I love him or care about him, I show it. He said it was true that he knows I care a lot.
And me being a cancer I was EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL! He asked me to be "less crazy" but I don't know how I could be when the man I love is walking out on me and won't even ask me about his concerns. I told him I will NOT let him go that easy and that he and I need to communicate more.
So now we are OK again, but I still feel very emotional. Been crying off and on all day over what happened. I am thinking about making him read my Linda Goodman Sun Sign book so he will better understand me.
Vilette last edited by
This was interesting for me to read as I'm a Gemini female who is seeing a Cancer male.
It's true if he says he is just friends with his exes. I'm friends with just about every ex-boyfriend I've had, and that's all they are now is friends. A lot of them I don't even refer to as exes but simply as friends.
We don't like hearing about emotions most of the time. Sometimes when I have to hear about feelings it will even make me uncomfortable if I'm not prepared to talk about it. If you cry around us it might feel awkward but we'll try to cheer you up and make you laugh because that's how we deal with sadness.
This was so weird to hear you say: " Because of his frequent disappearing acts I get very suspicious and he almost never calls. Every couple of days he sends a text asking what I am up to. We spend atleast 2 days a week together, but then he is off into the world leaving me wondering if he is up to no good." ~ The cancer man I'm seeing does this to me but often I don't mind it because I'm busy with my own life. Do not smother your gemini because we can't stand that. We need to know you're into us but we don't want to feel like you're obsessed.
It seems there are trust issues and maybe some insecurity going on which is very bad. Also it sucks that cancers are hyper-sensitive and geminis often insensitive. We could hurt your feelings and have no idea.
It's definitely true that cancers & geminis NEED to both have open lines of communication. If we do something that hurts you then tell us but don't dwell on it. Don't be clingy. Let us feel like we are free and we will come back to you. Make us feel like we are backed into a corner and we'll be gone. Ultimately enjoy each others company and when you're apart take care of your own life and yourself. If you're thinking about him then send him a note/text/whatever but don't be all super hardcore lovey dovey, just something light hearted, fun and/or sweet to make us smile or laugh.
To be with someone who is an emotional black hole who is always sad and crying is terrifying and horrifying. We want someone to have fun with. Obviously I can't speak for every single gemini in the world but perhaps I can offer you some insight. I don't even know if this helped at all but I hope it did even if it was a little bit
It's really unfortunate. All the posts I see on here of gals getting it on with a Gemini guy, especially ones who aren't really the first choice zodiac sign wise to be with a Gemini. =/ If your having issues and your signs aren't that great together leave. He's cheating on you and playing dissappearing games with you. When a Gemini stops communication with you, that's his way f leaving you. I know Gemini's need their space, but if it's over 2 weeks, leave. And the cheating is just obviously a big no. Gemini or not, you shouldn't take that kind of bull from a man. You treat that man too well, and he doesn't deserve it and obviously doesn't care or appreciate it. Leave him. If my Gemini did that, oh it would be over, and it would probobly get physical. Pots and pans would be flying. rofl LEAVE and change the locks or take his key if he's willing to give it to you, like a nice boy.
I've been with mine 6 months and we are better than that... yeah we have some ups and downs, but hun, if he's gonna be like that take your key from him and have a more shallow relationship, like friends with privileges(but no key), don't get serious. He's obviously not ready or wanting that now.
Okay, so now he thinks it's okay to cheat on you but loses it when you happen to coverse with a friend about an ex of yours. He has jealousy issues and isn't being fair. That's a double standard! He's a dirt bag!
I wouldn't have taken him back. Hope it works out.... And do you know the zodiac signs of those other girls your competing with? Be careful. If one of those girls he has more chemistry with...... well you know what I'm saying. I wish you luck. =/