Teenager troubles

  • My 14 year old son is causing me so much stress at the moment, weve had a row over his attitude and i said if he didnt want to change he could leave...... he has now gone and is staying with his dad. Unfortunately even when ive been to talk to him his attitude is now far worse, not helped by his dads attitude, im at the point where i feel i hate my son the way he is lazy, self centerd..... yes i know a typical teen but his lack of respect for anything is killing me as he is a very nice and normally head screwed on kinda kid.

    The trouble is i feel leaving him at his dads isnt good for him but i cant phisically drag him home and with his attitude the way it is i need to think of his younger brother, the cards didnt even pick up on all this turmoil and now im so confused i cant get any sense out of them as i am a begginner.

    Any ideas how i move forward from this?

  • Hello there, sorry for your problems with your teenager. In order to understand the situation better, it is possible to have the teenager's date of birth?

  • Yeah sure sept 24 1995 hes a very strong minded libra.

  • Sylvie,

    I can Already pick up that he should'nt be permantly with his father,

    By you doing this you are giving him even more freedom than he has now

    which will only worsen his attitude towards your principals, You are stern on him as well.

    You in many ways are pushing yourself away from him, you must face this time again

    talk with him how you feel its ruing your relationship, i feel you need to talk with him..

    about how you feel, you tell him what he's doing wrong but not telling him to and how to

    fix the wrongs almost just nitpicking at things tell him how to improve.

    Does he skateboard ?

  • Hi sylvie74, I hope I can help with your son. Thanks for the DOB. Your son at the moment is having a difficult transit of Saturn in Libra in the 1st house that started on October 29, 2009 and will end in October 5, 2012. What does that mean?

    He begins two+ years of being responsible, working hard at everything and being more serious and focused about life and his goals. It is about keeping your nose to the grindstone. The themes of Saturn are new obligations, responsibilities, learning to do with less, limitations, new structures, rebuilding structures and becoming more of a realist. Saturn can bring depression into our lives—and it tends to make us more serious. Saturn rewards us differently from expansive Jupiter; Saturn forces us to earn our stripes.

    During the years, Saturn is in our Sun sign or in the first house of our chart like him now; we tend to become more conservative with our appearance. Nothing flashy, buying clothes that last and hold their stylle and the other theme that tends to crop up is relationships; particularly the desire to settle down somwhere.

    Hope it was helpful. Good luck

  • HI - oh my - I am having the exacrt problems with my LIBRA daughter - age 14 born 10/1/1995.

    She is a pill with an attitude. Cusses at me. WOn't do anything. Live with her dad for almost a year and made it through 8th grade but still has the attitude. Now they had to move back into my house for a while. I can stand my (amost) exhusband - but its her attitude and her noise and her refusal to participate in helping out around the house that irkls me and makes me blow up. There are days I would really like to lock her in a box. I definitely cannot stand this until 2012. I have to pray that we get our debts paid off fast and that they move out again by the end of the year. Luckily, she does not skateboard. But she is a holy smartmouht.

  • Your issues sound alot like the problems I have with my son. He is 19 now but I have had problems with him since he was 2. Unfortunately, you will just have to let him go. He will come around on his own. The more you try, the more stressed you will get. At least he has his father. I was on my own. His father committed a murder/suicide in 2008. It will be hard but you just have to let him go.He will come back when he is ready. If you force him (or even nag him) he will resent you. All you can do is hope that he doesn't mess up too much. My son dropped out of school and he just got out of jail a month ago and it sounds like he will be back in before too long. I have to deal with the influence he had on his younger siblings. He is a good kid. He is just lacking some serious direction. But I have to let him go and concentrate on the younger ones before I lose ALL of them. He is technically a Virgo, but he was born Aug. 29th. I had him on my 19th b-day. (well 58 min. later) I got a hemmothoid fom him so I tell him that he has been a pain in my a*ss, ever since the day he was born. lol

  • Well guys thanks for alll that, it all rings true even my naggin lol. I realise its the age thing, and i do feel that its a case of letting him realise for himself. He has gone between me and his dad for the last few years, getting fed up with his nagging then coming to live with me. Im hoping today to have some form of chat with him, lets see where that gets us!!!! He doesnt skateboard, he boxes four nights a week, hes good in school but the min hes home its lets sit on my behind and get everyone to do everything for me. I have explained to him if he just sorted out his animals and kept his room tidy that would be a big help and to get up on time and not make me late for work every day life wouldnt seem such a chore as im on my feet from 6.30 am til 11pm just doing stuff for the kids, my fault i know but this is why we have been having issues because his younger brother is picking up on it ( hes 13). Heres hoping we get through this day without too many stresses lolXXXXXX

    Thanks guys for everything youve said on here been a big help XXXX

  • I hate to say it but, you will have to let him learn through lifes experiences. You need to concentrate on the 13 yo. He is getting older so if he picks up the bad habbits, they will stick with him. Then you will have 2 boys with issues. My oldest is now 19 and my daughter is 10. While he is a minor, he can't do no wrong. She saw him do anything he wanted to and he had no consequence. What ticks me off, is that now they throw him in jail for the exact same stuff they let him do before he was 18. Whatever you do, don't let the state get involved! They say they are there to help and they know all but they will only make things worse and YOU have to suffer all the consequences to their actions. I am trying to help my daughter before it is too late for her. Chris (her brother) is now a convicted felon and it's just a matter of time before he goes back to jail. He was always saying " I'll believe it when I see itz'. He is seeing it now!

  • Well we had a good day today, no arguments or attitude. He did acknowledge he doesnt pull his weight around the home but still wants to stay at his dads. I havent pushed that today!!!! But on a positive note he has rung me tonight to let me know where hes staying out and the address which he never lets me know. So i shall play it by ear and see if he comes to his senses in the meantime i will use my free time i will now have to have some mum time with my other son who will lap it up XX

  • That sounds great. I hope he keeps it up. Don't push him to come home. He will come around on his own. If you say something to get him home, it will backfire on you, Let him make his own choice. It will get worse before it gets better. Remember that, and don't be surprised. Remember the good days like today. Make a journal. Documenet everything on a daiky bases,. Take care and if you need anything, let me know TTFN

  • Thanks for all the support and advice, its been good and sad to hear im not on my own with these troubles. I will keep in touch if any changes happen, good or bad!!! Im feeling a lot more postitive about life today XXX

  • I hope it stays good but knowing how I was at that age, it didn't last. You need to make an example of your 14 yo for the sake of your 13 yo. If you do it now, you might not end up in the situation I am in. It will be very hard. Don't pick up after him and if he doesn't get up for school, call the school resource officer to come get him. At least your other son won't learn all these bad habits and know you won't do anything about it. They won't realize the stress they put you through until they have teens of their own. They are both old enough where you shouldn't have to wipe their a s s anymore. At that age, they should be helping you not making things harder for you. My 19 yo old is just starting to realize about stealing from someone in your house because it is happening to him. When he is 16, he can legally do whatever he wants to and their is no consequence to him. If he doesn't do what you want, take away what he wants. If he sees that you will follow through. He will do more. They are pushing their limits to see how far they can go. You need to put your foot down. It won't be easy. If you need me, I'll be right here.Teens I know from experience. Good luck TTFN

  • Just thought id update, nothing new with situation my oldest is still with his dad, but we have been having good chats. But his dad is getting fed up with him and his attitude now so they are always arguing, its almost like he just doesnt see what hes doing wrong, no matter who tells him where hes going wrong and how if he changed this or that life would be far easier hes got to choose awkward all the time..... ARGH...... kids !!!!!!

    When he is older hes gonna look back and think WHY??

  • try a big brothers with him. Don't discuss it first cause he will be against it. Just let a good influence hang out with him. Tell the guy not even to tell him he's with big brothers Try that and let me know how that works. Could be a good thing

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