The Enchanted Pond

  • Still have that razor....and the coffee cup too.

  • Lotus,

    Haven’t heard from you in a WHILE. I hope you are doing okay. Post in and let us know you are ok, please.

    LC you too. Everyone is wondering about you and how you are.

  • Lotus,

    I wrote you a note but it disappeared. I am hoping you are okay. I heard you weren’t well. Hope to hear from you soon.

  • LOLOL, there they both are.

  • sunshine......if you start shaving with it let me know and I'll come save you : )

  • Um, hi everyone, I hope all is well.

    Things have been pretty busy for me. (WARNING: CRAB RANT!) I'm still in a state of limbo. I don't know what to do, and I still can't bring myself to talk about it. All the options I have seem to involve winding up alone, all because I had to let myself freak out about something that was probably a non-issue. If we're not meant to be, THEN WHERE IS THE STINKIN' GUY I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WITH?!!! I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of searching, and I'm tired of being alone. I've BEEN alone all my life. I'm tired of being told that I'm secretly afraid of commitment. Really? I mean, REALLY?! I'm all out of faith here. At my age, it's impossible to find a guy who wants to commit. I see dating as pretty much a farce now, designed to teach people how to leave those they CLAIM to care about. I mean, why bother?

    I remember a while back my sister made fun of me, saying that I ought to become a nun. I guess that means I'm unlovable unless I "put out", if you know what I mean. Yeah, that'll make him pay attention! I'm starting to believe that love is indeed a myth we've created to justify our base desires. Apparently because I actually have standards, I'm not worthy to join the club. I'm not worthy to marry and have children, which, by the way, will become harder as I get older. Wonderful. Yeah, I hate the world right now. I hate my lot in it.

    If this offends someone or seems a bit incoherent, sorry. This crab just can't take the crap right now.


  • Well, JoyLily, I would not listen much to your sister, I don’t think much of people that make cruel jokes at their sibling’s expense. And I can vouch for the fact that you don’t have to “put out” to get a decent man. I get that it gets harder to find good ones that aren’t already married the older one gets. That can really be a great issue, and it is easy to lose the hope. True love does exist, and having standards is a good thing, not a bad thing.

    Please don’t lose hope, and please stop saying that you are unworthy, because that is not true. Everyone is worthy of and deserving of someone to love that is actually worthy of you.

    I want you to start thinking of yourself as a worthy mate for someone special, because right now, you will simply keep manifesting the losers that keep coming around. Think of the type of person you want in your life, and keep telling yourself that you are worthy to receive this person into your life, even if you don’t believe it at first. The more you keep telling yourself you are worthy of this person, particularly if you say this to yourself before you go to sleep every night, soon you will feel differently and that person will manifest himself to you.

    I have the faith that you will find someone exactly fitting and worthy of you. Just change your thinking and tell yourself that you are worthy and stop letting people like your sister tell you that you are unworthy. I have a sister who is like that, she likes to try to intimidate everyone and loves to give advice about rising your children, even though she never raised any of her kids. she let them get raised by everyone except her, but loves to tell others that they need to do this and that, or trying to tell someone how to get a man when she doesn’t have one herself. I have learned to blank her out of my mind, because I know better. I have always been a smart and worthy person, so are you. Just try telling yourself every night before you fall sleep and every morning when you wake up: "I am a beautiful, worthy person. I am beautiful inside and out. I deserve to have the man of my dreams in my life. I am worthy of true love. I am worthy of and deserve everything I want in life.” I know it sounds far fetched to you, but try it for 2 weeks, just to humor me.

    Here at the Pond, n o one would be offended by your feelings, you are entitled to them, but you are here because you sense the caring, friendly atmosphere here, and know you are in the right place. Just sit here, meditate and imagine how the lovely peaceful Pond is, and manifest positive thoughts in your mind.

    I will be back to check on you again soon.

    Light and Love,


  • BlMoon, I thought i would save the razor for Logan, he will need to shave some day, and Lauren might want to keep the coffee cup to drink with, knowing it was her Dad’s. I don’t really have a lot of things that i think would be good keepsakes for them, and I did promise him that no matter what, they won’t forget him. Matter of fact, they each have a battery-operated candle that I light every night in their bedroom windows “for Dad.” LOL! I won’t be shaving with that thing, eeek! Still getting up the courage to go to the storage and go through the rest of his things. Well, since Spring is going to be creeping in here sometime in the future, I will go then as it warms up and do the “hard task”. Gotta let him go sometime. 😞 I know he is calling me a packrat, but he used to keep more stuff that I thought was ridiculous than me, because he thought “it might come in handy someday” LOLOL! Here I go, bringing myself to tears and messing up my equilibrium, knowing I have to do that stupid Statistics class. I don’t see how I am going to pass it, I don’t get it, so I am not motivated to work hard in it. Hate to fail it a second time. 😞 going to stop crying and go to online school. with great reluctance.

    Sunshine 😞

  • Thanks Sunshine. It's pretty hard to keep positive when you've been dealt a bad hand for most of your life (there's a LOT more than what I've mentioned. Some of it is too personal to share here). It's not like I've never been positive, it just seems to crash down all around me just when I do start feeling good about myself. I needed to vent. I've had family members harping on me about relationships in general in the last few months, and I feel they haven't been very helpful at all.

    I haven't had the talk with my guy yet. I was too much of a coward to say anything the last few times we've talked, and now we're going through another quiet period (again, normal. Found out his pattern a while back, and it has nothing to do with me). It's having me biting my nails in a sense. I'm probably just wanting to move too fast for him, and that's why he cautions me about having too much hope, yet he certainly enjoys my company and wants to meet eventually. That has never been taken off the table, although the time and place has been changing (due to changes in our personal lives). It has come up as recently as earlier this week. I'm someone who wants certainty. I've had too many false footings the last few years. Yet, if this could work out eventually, I don't want to ruin it because I'm impatient. The fact that we want to meet says something. I've had a lot of online friends I wanted to meet but never had the chance to. It's going to happen this time, for sure.

    I do seem to have so much worry and dread hanging over me, that even he has called me out on it. There are significant changes happening all around me, and I'm having a hard time keeping my feet on the ground. My little sister is getting married in September, I've started a new job that places me in a leadership position, and I'm trying to play catch-up on paying off debts (mostly school loans), while I try to find some sort of emotional release through things I usually find interesting. I can't even concentrate on having fun right now, especially when the time for it is practically laid at my feet.

    I'm sure my sister was saying those things in jest, but she doesn't realize just how hurtful that can be. She can be wise about certain things, but I think it goes to her head sometimes. There are things that I know she is not wise about at all, and I've practically given up arguing with her about them. That weighs on my conscience as well, since it concerns certain moral issues. I won't get into that here.

    It stinks wanting to run to someone for comfort but no one is there. I'm a rather quiet person in real life when it comes to my feelings. That's not good because I do occasionally snap when it gets to be too much. I always have to consider everyone else's feelings while mine are given almost no consideration at all. I've lost count how many times I've argued with my dad over that.


  • I have had that issue too. We Cancers always seem to worry about everyone else’s feelings, everyone elses health, everyone elses sensitivities, but somehow, we get lost in the shuffle. It is always easy to get over on us because we are so soft hearted and have that “guilt complex”

    It is okay to think about yourself in the scheme of things, we are human too and deserve to have special treatment just like everyone else.

    I think you should start thinking about what you want and do things for yourself. You deserve the right to be selfish occasionally. Another part and parcel of the “I am worthy” mantra I am asking you to do for yourself.

    AS for your guy, it is a good sign if you want to meet. just keep thinking yourself worthy of what you want in a person. Just don’t give him the impression that you are desperately looking for a man, it can’t be anything but negative, and he may run the other way.

    If your family isn’t supportive, I would find some really good friends to be close with and have fun with that would understand and get you through your “bad” periods.

    Do take some time for yourself, go have some FUN! You have permission to do that for yourself.

    It is 3:30 am for me, so I am going to get sleep before my kids start getting up at 6. I will check in on you later on this morning. Take care of yourself, JoyLily, do something for you! Remember, you deserve the best!

    Love and Light,


  • Sunshine

    I had a feeling you were saving that razor for Logan. I love the light in the window idea! That is exactly in line with Spirits early use this otherwise earthly bummer called death to open your children to embracing the spiritual world. They really need your spiritual strength right now so they do not shut down. Specially, Logan since he has the gift. It is hard to be a psychic child and most psychics end up closing off until much older. My parents were not capable of encouraging or calming my fears but I had a friend who's mother was a medium and lived across the street. She helped me a lot as it was very upsetting and isolating to see deaths. Or to be considered too sensitive or emotional and not know how psychics pick up others vibes or see events. I was raised very old school Catholic so just one spiritual person can really make a difference. Your children are lucky to have you! I closed down for many years but when my sister was killed in a car crash in my early twenties I was forced to face the reality of death and where our loved ones go. I ended up back at the hospital last night and they gave me fold out bed. My husband was supposed to come home but got a fever and his heart is flip flopping again. The real issue is the hospital ........I swear they kill off as many as they save! cynical me today....but you get nurses who are so gifted and true healers then you get a clueless one who almost gives the wrong meds even though every day I must repeat it. It's in the computer! And the hospital is so profit minded they under staff at night. God bless all you big hearted dedicated nurses out there. And you clueless paycheck collectors...please choose another professions...we are real people and we matter!

  • LOL! I was raised Old school Catholic too, but I knew something wasn’t right, and when I was still pretty young, determined that I was going to leave the church when I got older and find something else. I ended up attaching myself to Mormonism. I have been happy there, but as time went on and I started studying metaphysics, I find myself more into “spiritual” things that have nothing to do with Mormonism. I think that religion does give people something to believe in and to help them to “do the right things”, but I am not into being caught up in dogma that stifles you and keeps you from progressing.

    Yes, being a psychic child and being “Autistic”at the same time is hard. He is spending more time “out” here than “in” himself, but he usually wants to shut down once he gets home. School is a lot for him, and Lauren is so loud, bossy and “out there” he wants to escape and hide in his room. Since he is mostly non verbal, it is hard to get him to understand a lot, particularly with being independent and dressing himself, much less teaching him about the spirit world. I definitely need help with trying to teach him. Too bad I had no one to help me when I was young. Not sure I was psychic, but I had the ability to “see" something before it happened. I confided in my grandmother and she scolded me and told me that people would think I was crazy. That took care of my ability. It’s been a hard road for me to try to “open” back up again.

    I agree that hospitals get you sick more than they heal you. I hope your husband gets out of there soon. My youngest sister has been fighting cancer since she was in her mid 30’s. She went into the hospital to get a “pain pump” inserted in her hip so she can manage her pain. Somehow, the nurses misread the amount of morphine to give her, they overdosed her 3 times the amount they were supposed to. Her angels were watching, and she complained all night that she couldn’t get to sleep. Everytime she tried to get in her bed to sleep, something kept her from getting in it, so she was up pacing all night long. Lucky she did, if she had fallen asleep, she would never have woken up. The error was discovered when the shift changed in the morning, they expected to find her dead, but instead found her pacing around as evil as a wet hen because she needed to fall asleep and couldn’t. That could have been tragic, and it really makes me feel as if I am better off up here. Everyone wants me to move down there with the kids so “I can have some family to help”. Don’t think I want to go there considering there are more than one of my family members who have had issues with the medical care there. I said all that to say this; hospitals are some scary places, and with this “tumor” in my head, I really don’t think that I would be too willing to let someone mess with it unless it is really life threatening.

    Anyway, guess I better get back into school and study. I really want out of this statistics class, but if I fail it, I could be put out of school.

    Blessings to you.


  • Sweet Sunshine, thank you again. You don't have to check up on me like I'm one of your little ones. 🙂 You already have enough hanging on your heart. I really do need to start putting on my big girl pants and learn how to process my emotions better.

    I decided to email my guy. I didn't exactly say I wanted more, actually. I did what probably could be considered the opposite. I went on his blog today where he admitted an addiction and how he was trying harder to combat it now. I knew about this addiction, but I didn't give much thought to how I may have been fueling it until I read his post. It was ironically about Lent, the time when many of us traditional Christians choose something negative or unhealthy to give up in order to bring us closer to God. We've had spiritual conversations before, and I was happy to run across someone who while had a deep faith in God, I was able to relate to them as a broken human being in need of healing. Our emotional runaround, while fun, hasn't been all that healthy.

    This doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'm just steering our relationship into a new direction, where it probably should have been heading in the first place. I don't know what he'll say, and it scares me. He's such a good friend. I just need to have more faith in that he won't suddenly disappear. He said he wouldn't, and he's yet to go back on that.


  • LOLOL! JoyLily, It’s a Cancer trait, you have the same, being a rescuer. Being a rescuer wouldn’t be too bad except sometimes the folks we want to rescue might have issues that make us miserable or unhappy. Rescuing your guy from his issues won’t be easy, I found that out doing it myself. If they don’t want it, you can’t move them at all.

    If it is meant to be, it will. I know being alone can be really hard, I really feel it a lot at times. I Think you will be okay, and I guess wearing big girl pants is something I need in regards to some issues going on in my life right now as well.

    Keep saying those mantras everyday. You are worth someone’s effort to have a normal healthy relationship with. You are worthy, remember that.

    Blessings to you and may the healing light surround you and give you health and strength.

  • Lotus and LC.

    Haven’t heard from you in a while. Hope you both are okay.

    Clue us all in at my same name at that place with all the hot mailmen period com.

    Thinking about you both.


  • Sunshine

    about your head trauma. When my husband was about 21 he was mugged outside his job at a Steele mill in Chicago. Remember steel mills? Any way it was Friday and they thought he had his pay on him but he already brought it home at lunch...all he had was ten dollars. Several junkies cornered him in the parking lot and beat him with the but end of a gun. He had severe skull fractures. A broken finger where he tried to block the blows. One side of his head had a fracture that included a ruptured ear drum. But the worse was what they call a depressed skull fracture where a circle of skull broke away and was depressed. It was a full moon and the hospital was husband was in a hallway for hours before even seen....I called every hospital I knew to transfer him and no one would come get him because they were all packed. I will leave out the long story but just want to tell you that the best advice I heard was that when it comes to the brain they just do not ever know for sure. So much for predictions. It is always a wait and see with the brain. At first he was deemed disabled by Social security disability. Then about three years later we got a letter saying they were cutting back, my husband was young and no more disability. I am not going to lie and say there were not rough years but my husband finally did recover and fact he has always been a worker bee. For many years that depressed circle of skull stayed indented but it did over time heal. No matter what any doctor trys to predict for you the reality is they can't!! You are strong like my man....let time heal and REST! BLESSINGS! PS...speaking of hospital lameness....I took him back to have sutures removed....once home finally I could wash his still blood matted my horror I found the doc had left stitches! I removed myself and the ruptured eardrum was not found in the hospital, my man kept complaining and they told him to put peroxide in his ear. Later we went to see an ear specialist and he freaked saying it was ruptured and putting peroxide in there was dangerous! Thank God for Angels!

  • Blmoon, I have to say after reading through the posts between you and Icey, I am disturbed. I am a life path eleven, what is your life path? You claim to be intuitive. I don't bother with training myself in any way in astrology or any other means of spiritual activities , but I can say if you actually were as "sensitive" as you claim you are, you would not have attacked Icey the way you have. All CAPS? Really? WE don't work that way here at the pond! It's not tolerated, period! Now, Icey is going through a traumatic time and you do nothing but attack her. That's not a spiritual, sensitive person, that's a bully! I grew up defending people being bullied and I won't stop now, at my 48 years of youth. She has never attacked you personally and you claim she has a mental disorder? Do you have a degree in psychology now? Really? Enough! Icey DID start this thread and she can very well end it if she chooses. It's not up to you, me, or anyone else because it IS her forum here. It would never be "the enchanted pond" without her!

  • I'm not finished. When a human being is going through a trauma, we don't beat them down, we lift them up! I haven't seen this happening here. It makes me ill! We all make mistakes and bad choices and none of us are perfect! I must say, being married for 23 years myself, that we all have that " other one" that we think we should have gone with at times. That in no way means that Icey or any of us have not been true to our marriages. It just means we are Human! By the way, we are!! We all have issues and that's exactly why we are here. We aren't here, however, to judge anyone or each other. That's not why Icey created this beautiful pond. So, if you have no beauty in your soul, I suggest you take it elsewhere, toot sweet! Get it? Got it?good! Don't let the doorknob hit you in the ass on the way out Darlin!

  • It's "tout de suite"!

  • Honey, I live in the South. In my world it's called "toot sweet" on purpose. You can take your so called smart sophisticated ass and leave now. That petty comment was uncalled for. If you have anything of substance to contribute, bring it on honey. The gloves are off in this pond now and you are a "Newby" , so "God help ya"!

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