The Enchanted Pond
Now i can go to bed, sleep well Earth Angels,
peace,love,light, many blessings,gigantic hugs and laughter being sent to all of you
You are soooo loved sheila.
Repeat this thought to yourself continuously
throughout today and FEEL what happens!
The greatest healing source in creation is within you now.
It is in the air you are breathing, the silence between
your heartbeats, and in the warm rays of sunshine from above.
Call off this exhausting search for this great Love
and relax into the soft cozy sweetness from
fully embracing your Self right now.
Who knew today was going to FEEL soooo good!
Hello My Journey,
Wow, you are back with a blast!! Glad that you have found an apartment and are on line, however briefly. You have such a great attitude about putting the past PAST and living in the present with full intention.
Thanks for your love and light...My hub had two very good days, but had some side effects last night of his increased meds...so we will push through that today. Had a nice trip to Vermont yesterday while the kids stayed with their Dad. I met with my healer and then had lunch with Lady Laie!! woo hoo! It was so great to meet her. I felt like I knew her very well already, isn't that fun?!
Hope all ponders are spending some part of each day in the light and feeling your connection with breath, the link to the mystery.
Love and light to you,
Words of Wisdom, Dear Iceria...."Don't think what is happening TO you, but FOR you". This sentence finishes with Amen. And you said EVERYTHING like it...words that sober you, but not in the way to have wish to escape reality again, but to stay like Winner, 'cause I won a new wisdom for life trough all this pain...but, I can't eccsept that we will never make clear our relationship, that he will never come to me 8I woul come to him, but he doesn't want nor to see me, nor to spek with me9 and tell me:"Ana, I loved you, but..we can stay, or we can't stay friends"-and I want you to know, Dear Friend, that I wasn't lieing my boyfriend. i was telling him everything I feel and do, and trough that he decided to fight for me. i have no doubts. I have a GREAT man next to me. Is it possible that Andrej doesn't have any need to clear up things with woman whom with he wanted children, and whom he'd taken from boyfriend and left in one day???? 30 years old, I am still not capable to believe that he can find peace without that! help
Give me your Great Virtu of honesty, panch if I deserve!
Sunshine has returned! It has been a pretty sobering and humbling experience that I have been through in the past 5 months, and it appears to not be ready to leave me alone yet, but I am here. I have really missed being here with everyone, and I am really pleased to see 2 new Ponders here. Welcome Chagrine and Patchlove. This is a marvelous place to be, I really realized it while I was gone. Everyone here on our Pond are really awesome people, incredible, but I seems to have more great friends online than I do in person. I haven't read everyone of the back postings yet, I did read some of them, but I will get to it soon.
I officially have 6 more classes until I graduate. It has been a real hard, backbreaking road, but I am nearly there. Next comes my masters and I will be so happy.
Icey, Laie, Bloom and MyJourney, Forestwalker and everyone else here, I really thank you for the support I have felt from you. Everyone here has issues going on and it is wonderful to know that somebody had my back while I was struggling. Many hugs and Blessings to you all.
LAst Crusader, I am awed by your talent. Like Icey said, you have a great talent to place some really deep emotions into what you are writing. I sense great pain and hurt coming from you. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you the best positive thoughts i can. Stay here where you have many friends who love and support you. Bloom, I will keep your husband in my prayers, and you too. My Journey, I see you have had similar difficulties that I was also having. May all this make us a little bit stronger, our skin a little bit thicker.
Its 2:30 am here and I better get to bed. The munchkins have me ragged, and LAuren keeps getting in trouble in school, so I have a conference with her teachers and the principal at 8:30 am. smh what am I going to do with this kid, outside of hanging her from the ceiling until she turns 21.....LOLOL! She is like a doublebarreled shotgun on the lose, but I have to admire her in that she refuses to back down to anyone. smh Logan is getting taller and is verbalizing a lot more. He is such a marvelous kid, but I have 2 marvelous kids. Will post a current picture soon.
Love all of you and will be back to visit soon.
Hey Everyone...things have been hard and lonely out here. Lots of changes happening. Do you mind if I join back in? I miss my waterfall here at the Pond.
Hi to you Spirit Seeker and Sunshine, LC, Patch Love and Chagrine...nice to have you all here!! so exciting.
Sunshine, we were worried about you!! Glad you have stayed with your courses and ever on to your masters...woah, I can't even believe I said that so lightly. Will you take a break in between??
What happened with the kids' schools? Did they end up having to switch to new schools? that must have been hard for them, glad Logan is talking more and that diva girl you have there! yikes...got to reach some kind of compromise there, as school is so important to you, she needs to toe the line, lol!!
Spirit seeker 8, what has been happening? Any eagles soaring back to you?
My hub is starting to do better and better...today is his second good day out of the last 15 days, so that is a good trend. Thanks for everyone's support.
I got a chance to paint today, and I also spent time with some new animal cards. I had been looking for them for a couple years and finally found them on-line. I did my 9 card totem animal draw today...very moving experience. I also am reading a few books by Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD including "Crossing to Avalon"...her quest for the sacred feminine. I think that's where I'm going!
Blessings from Bloom xoxo
I am not sure , I may just go on and take the extra year and get the Masters without a break. Probably because I will probably not get it if I stop for even a minute. I am just so weary and tired, I have to keep going.
OMG! I found out today that Lauren is skipping her first period!! Can't imagine what possessed her. I would walk her to school, and she would walk upstairs to the 2nd floor, but then she would either go and bother other people, hide behind doors and curtains, the bathroom, or the time the teacher found her in the auditorium in the back row rooting through her backpack. I was so floored, because the stupidity of the teachers, they just assumed that i was bringing her late to school. Until they caught her in the auditorium, that is. What the heck kinda school is this??? And don't bother to call the parent to find out why the kid is coming in late everyday???? roll my eyes heavenward....
One kid can make a bunch of so-called experienced adults look like a group of jackasses, ROTFLMBO!!! I am really upset at Lauren, but I am just amazed at her chutzpah.....BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I can laugh now, she is asleep and can't see me laughing and get encouraged to keep misbehaving. What a kid! Logan is becoming unruly at school too, totally unlike him, and he is still not verbal enough to make sense all he time, but that rascal is trying to backtalk me and stomping his foot at me.....WTHIT???? LOLOLOL! I wonder if the approaching 2012 has something to do with this, and the other crap that has/is befalling me? One never knows....
Anyway, Bloom, Lauren is still in public school, but she has started going to the junior high school (5th grade now) Logan still is in the elementary school, 1st grade. with the issues pertaining to moving, the money was unavailable for me to put them in the private school i wanted them in. It will be more beneficial to them, but guess i will have to wait.
I am glad to hear that your husband is doing better. I will envision him making a complete recovery.
You also take care of yourself, Bloom. Take it from me, it is so easy to look after everyone else and let yourself go down the tubes.
Everyone else, Glad to be back at the Pond.
Hi SpiritSeeker8, I have been away for a while too, glad to see you back. Your rock has always been here waiting for you to come and reclaim it. LOL.
Blessings to everyone. So tired all the time, gong to bed now.
LMBO, admin just censored my posting, it wasn't even a bad word all i said was c..r..a..p.. isn't that hilarious!!! C'mon, admin, get it right.....
Good morning ponders,
Hope everyone is doing well!
I am happy to report that my hub is doing much better these days. He actually drove himself in his car to get a sandwich...I think he might have been tired of my cooking, LOL!! Anyway, his mood is tempered down a bit and he seems to be getting back to his old self slowly. THANK you for everyone's support and prayers.
I am looking forward to getting back to work, well, in the sense that my life will approach normalcy...I've been home since Oct 5...I did go shopping yesterday, with the intention of getting a sandal repaired. I had to wait for an hour for the repair so wandered through a department store nearby that had a big clothing sale. I tried on a bunch of clothes and ended up getting one pair of black pants that looked....well...quite stupendous. I think I have lost some weight. I learned from my diva daughter not to buy anything unless it is super flattering. haha. I did see a great red dress on sale too...I am tempted to go back...Don, my nontraditional healer, has suggested several times that I should get a red dress. yikes, is now the time? Any opinions?!?
Sending love and light to you all!
Hugs from BLoom xo
Get the red dress!!!!
You BETTER get the Dress!!!
LOL...OKAY!! I WILL GET THE RED DRESS!!
Thanks for the clear message. YOu made me smile this morning I needed that.
Light and love to you Sunshine and Spirit Seeker..
YES!!!! You will not regret it! YEA!!!
Today should be the final signing of the divorce papers. I wish I knew what and where Spirit wants me to do. I know I need to move my son and mother out of here. Don't know how yet. Do you ever get used to being lonely? Will I ever know what it is to honestly be loved by someone? Hmmm? Oh well I have lived without all these years...maybe love is a fantasy. I wish the void would go away.
Life, go figure huh? I am sorry for my lengthy absence but my heart has always been here; with you all!
So much has been going on in our little world here too I see. Welcome back Chagrine, Spirit Seeker and my beloved Sisters Sunshine and My Journey!!!!!! What an enchanting thing seeing you all here.
I am missing YOU Lady Laie!!!!!! Wherefore art thou my angel??????? Come back right this minute or I shall don my robes and wand and moonwhack you back!!!!!! LOL! Wherever you may be, I hope you find yourself in peace and your own beautiful light!
We have all heard the expression, 'it doesn't just rain - it pours' and that seems to be the order of the day - for all of us. If you choose to, hold onto the knowledge that everything that surfaces does so to be transformed and released. Choose to believe that all of the heavy stuff must leave you before the dawning of our new selves; our exciting selves and exciting Earth self. Challenges are opportunities (and yes they are challenging in the extreme!) to become more of who you really are. Challenges are presents to unopen ... presents of self. Challenges merely highlight something you must become aware of within you now. And challenges DO GO AWAY!
On to some of the challenges here ...
Dearest Bloom; a red dress??? Oh most definitely! There is no lady more alluring and empowered than one who wears a red dress! Forget the 'she- d e v i l' references ... red is life force, passion and a distinct lack of fear. On sale really means 'time to buy' ... you know that right? LOL It's all about how you FEEL and not about what you think! Yes?
So glad to hear that hub is on the improve. I have been holding him in my healing circle the whole time ... baby steps and no expectations ... that's the only way to heal. Hoping those meds have calmed down and he is finding his way back. It is fortunate that he has you. Love to him.
What a blast meeting up with Lady laie and on one of your epic adventures to the man I think we all would want to see! I liked how you said you felt you knew her so well already ... soul recognition is one of the most sacred experiences we can ever have. I LOVE that you two got to meet (though I am a tad green ... am looking forward to our gathering circle one of these moons)! Hope you guys manage to catch up lots more.
How's that garden coming along? What are you painting? I was delighted to read that you had been doing that amongst everything going on around you! Not familiar with the book you mentioned but it feels good for you. Happy uncovering and blooming!!!!
Angel Hugs friend!
Blessed My Journey ... woohoo to having you back where you belong! Thanks for bringing your radiant self back to us. Thank you very much! I did want to mention one of the pictures you posted here ... the healer picture ... in green. WOW! I could look at that picture alllllllllll day. If ever anyone doubted the power and energy that lives within the visual; they ought to sit back and look into this image. Simply WOW! And thank YOU for bringing it to the pond. What a beautifully peace-filled glowing light that energy is. LUV it!
I was sad to read that your spark for life had dimmed so much Shee. Leos are the optimists they say ... with their sunny disposition etc ... but Leos are all about the face you don't see and they wound deeply. I, too, admired your courage in admonishing the past to the past. So hard to do hey? But soooooooooo NECESSARY! For you, me ... and everyone! Just know that this is a process and that we all swing back and forth as we develop and attune our inner selves. It is natural to go up and down and to hover around the middle for a time ... allow the process to unfold, ok?
I have mentioned before that our expectations of others do not always match what they do and don't do. What we want isn't always what they do. I have also mentioned that any love at all is still love and, love is all there ever is, right? Just love him Shee and let him love YOU ... even if his way is quirky & Saggi. Of course, there is a huge difference in allowing someone to treat you badly and to not love you at all and one should be mindful of that. We all DESERVE LOVE; no-one is unworthy or unimportant. If love is one-sided, is it love? Is it a relationship?
Glad you & your ski bunny have found a space that FEELS right. That is soooooooo important! Hoping everything you dream of falls into place very quickly My Journey!
Holding you near!
Hiya Sister Sunshine ... or is that Sister Crazy now???????? LOL What are you thinking? Masters immediately following a degree???? Hmmmm?????? Anything wrong with this picture? Are you nuts? Ask yourself this ... "Do I want to create MORE challenge right NOW?" Let me explain ...
You have already made yourself weak and tired and stressed and you will become ill ... it is a direct consequence and progression if one continues to push oneself to breaking point. Now ask ... 'am I going to be of any use to anyone then?'
Right now, you have some serious issues going on with your kids. This challenge is forcing you to STOP. You are being given a direct lesson here ... right now ... get your home in order. That's being screamed at you across the universe Sister Sun. You need to stop and see what is unfolding. Waiting even a year to do your Masters is not a big deal ... not compared to a year of not being on top of the issues your Little L's are surfacing with. You say you wouldn't go back if you didn't just dive straight into it ... if we take time from somewhere, something else loses it. In your case, it has been a distinct lack of sleep and rest and the ability to notice what is going on around you. Your head is so full it cannot fit one more thing in. I am the first person to advocate YOU and the miracle you have achieved in being a single parent, obtaining a degree, working and finding a new place to live. O M G! You are the miracle! However, even miracles need HELP! And, you need help now. Big 'L' needs HELP. Little 'L' needs HELP. The only way to get that help is by having time ... and you want to do a Masters? Darlin' ... my dear, dear Enchanted Sister ... priority. Please consider giving your beautiful self some breathing space. Do not misunderstand me here ... please ... a Masters is an incredible achievement and I know like I know that you will have this ... and MORE. I am never suggesting you won't. I am, however, placing some light upon an area of your immediate life that needs your attention - much like Uranus in Pluto (Uranus ... the higher mind shining light into Pluto ... our physical world). We all need to see what isn't working in our lives in order to get rid of it. Without knowledge, we remain still.
If you were to work more and study less, could you afford care for your kids? And I am talking a team of professionals because your children have such complex issues going on. Professionals cost ... and they require time; your time. On the subject of skipping first lessons ... I would be looking into what lesson this is, what pattern is emerging and what kids are in this class. Something is not right for L and she is withdrawing for a reason. My gut says 'bullying' and I sense an out of my depth feeling inside her ... like she thinks she can cope and she ought to cope but she can't - and I feel this on an intellectual level, not in relation to bullying. I sense confusion and fear in her. Just a hunch. You, of course, know your kids better than anyone ... mothers always do. But, the purpose to anything doesn't usually unravel easily or ... instantly. You will need time to uncover what is lying beneath her behaviour.
You have lived with such an extreme list of things to do for a very long time now Sister Sun ... perhaps, just perhaps, you should lie in some sun for a bit now?
I am your biggest fan. Know that. Remember that. I am always wishing you and the Little L's ... all the love and joy in the universe. Holding you through this time. Always.
Hey Chagrine ... nice to hear from you. I understand your dilemma and your need to know and ... even your desire for closure. I do, however, struggle with agreeing with you over the loving your boyfriend and being in love with another not being a deception. Sorry. But, I do hold respect for you and your experiences and I am not belittling either of them. I also have immense compassion for your situation ... it would hurt very deeply. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink it ... even if it's in their best interest. You have heard this said before I am sure. It is entirely true. We cannot make anyone do anything ... we do not have power over another and if we want to, we should be asking ourselves why. It is a really cruel situation for both of you really ... he in denying you exist or mean anything to him and you, wondering and hoping to help him. You are not responsible for how another thinks, behaves or feels ... that is the choice of the individual. I cannot tell you what to do Dear Chagrine but I hope you find your way ... and your peace. Time is going to be both your ally and your foe here but time is what you both need. Acceptance is your teacher here Chagrine. Hold onto the good memories, the feeling of being loved and the way you were with him if that brings you peace. Then, turn to your current love and place yourself fully in the present of that relationship. Give without looking back and you will turn a huge corner. Thanks for popping back and many, many blessings to you! Angel Hugs.
And Spirit Seeker ... wow ... hello to you! Lovely to find you back here also. It was your post that reminded me the most of the situation we all find ourselves within ... "endings and new beginnings". I am saddened by your news of divorce and I hope that you can find your inner space of quiet and peace with that ... in time. There is so much to say about doors opening and closing and what ends begins something new but I do not wish to sound like trite platitudes. Instead, I shall ask that you ask yourself what it is you feel in your experience ... opportunity? grief? a longing for what has past or the promise of what is yet to become? Somewhere in the middle I suspect ... ... and I understand. As humans, it is our deepest desire to be loved. It is what we crave more than anything. As spiritual beings, it is all we know. We know only of divine love and of being held within such a space ... it is no wonder our human selves go searching for it. I have a saying that I am fond of here at the pond ... and not because it's a saying but because it's what I believe the very most about life and living on our planet ... "love always finds love and becomes more love". The day you stop loving is the day you will never find love. Your son and mother need to be wherever that is BEST for them. If you need to place them so that they can receive this, then you follow your inner knowing on this. We are all where we are meant to be so that our unique agreements can unfold but our potential selves need the assistance of our here and now self and others. I am wishing you all the very best in this journey Spirit Seeker. How lovely of you to encourage others here at the pond whilst being in such pain ... you are a remarkable soul. Hugs to you also.
And now ... my lear broom jet is truly getting imaptient with me. I must up, up and away but I am always sending moonbeams to all of you and willing that life be kind and happy filled for each of you. We are all walking very difficult life paths right now and I am honoured to be in such wonderful company through mine. Continue believing that what surfaces does so now to forever more be a way for new and better things to come to you. Lord knows I am screaming that at myself every day too! LOL! It IS TRUTH!
May love surround you all and keep you safe and at peace.
Biggest of Big Angel Hugs Enchanted Souls,
Icey Moonbeam x x x
I missed you again, it's always about a half hour or so.... Anyway, I was so pleased to find you here at our Enchanted Pond.
And I have to agree, you are right. I AM pretty exhausted both from the late nights up with school (which I should be doing right now, but the rebel in me has risen) and from the other things going on in my life. Even though I am smh and sort of laughing about some of Lauren's antics, I am definitely not unmindful that there is something going on with her that I don't like at the school. In view of this, i have scheduled another conference with the teachers, the principal and our advocates that are on hand for us in these meetings. I do feel that Lauren is acting out, for reasons that she can't explain to me. I have really had the feeling that I need to move her into another school. There is a private Catholic school that does a fantastic job with educating challenged kids. Notice that I said Educate, not teach. Finances have dictated that I not have her in there this term. I sense that this would be a good move for her. I have also considered placing her on medication on a trial basis. She is too distracted to focus on her schoolwork and a lot of her behavior is based on impulse. She may be overwhelmed and with no one to back her up at school, I see a problem. I would homeschool her if I didn't have to work to support the family. I asked for a raise at work today, because the finances are getting wayyy out of hand. Money keeps a lot of stress going in this household, and getting help for the kids will take a great deal of it. Hence my wishes to obtain a masters degree. Sometimes I wish I wasn't alone in dealing with the kids' issues, it is so hard not having someone to discuss this with, lean on and take part in handling everything. But since i am, I just move along, little doggie.
Logan's issues I am starting to realize, may lie in the daycare environment. That place is a veritable zoo! Since these are the only people who were willing to take my children with their challenges (all other daycares said NO!) I am faced with few options. It's a stressful place for him with the noise and all the children, he has no place to decompress after the stress of school. HE is falling back into the autistic world again, I am trying to make the rounds and find a less stressful place for him. NO one is happy right now, my prayers are that this can be resolved to everyone's benefits.
Thanks for the words of wisdom, Icey. I always appreciate what you have to offer me, and I certainly appreciate them now, when i most need to hear them. I will keep you all informed as events unfold.
falling asleep in front of my computer. I will talk to you all another time.
Love and light to you.
Good morning/ evening all,
Well, lots of activity here at the pond, zoom zoom! So nice Icey, to hear from you! It's always such a pleasure to hear what you have to say to me and to others.
Sunshine, it sounds like such a complicated time for you. I remember when my kids were at that age, oh it is such a time! Your kids have had some tough adjustments this year, and that always makes life more difficult. I wonder if there is anything you can say at their daycare...offer suggestions for what might work for the kids, esp. Logan. Is Lauren able to be more of a leader there, helping do an activity for some of the younger kids? I know it is sometimes a battle to fit everything into one day with daycare, school, work at then your night classes. Did your piano make all the moves with you?
Nice that you have advocates that can come with you to meetings...maybe they can help you problem solve. Medication is always an option and that is good that you are willing to consider it, but also finding out what environmental stuff is going on for her would be very helpful I am sure. You can always ask for an FBA - a functional assessment of behavior. That would mean that the school would gather data on certain behaviors that they see as problematic - the purpose would be to find out what sets off the behavior and then what happens after the behavior is expressed. It is a 6 week process so it takes time but it might be helpful.
I don't have a lot of time this morning to chat, but we have had the first hint of bad weather..it makes me wonder about you Sunshine and also Forest Walker...what weather has come to you?
My hub is doing a little better, it's been a hard week. The medication is affecting him mentally but hopefully we are on an upswing. Need to get that red dress, lol
Hugs to all,
Lifting you up Spirit Seeker. I read this the other night..."we are all spirits on a human journey". We are always loved .... even though it's so hard sometimes to remember that!
I'M SITTING ON MY NEW COMPUTER MY BROTHER WHO HAS ALWAYS HELP KRISTA AND I JUST WHEN WE NEED IT, HE JUST SEEMS TO KNOW...EVER SINCE JEFF DIED HES OUR ONLY FAMILY MEMBER THAT HAS GIVEN US HIS LOVE, COMPASSION AND SO MUCH SUPPORT.aLSO HE SPOILS KRISTA LOL... OPPS CAPS ON NOW caps off, i'm so ecited o be back just don't kmow how much..i'm still working on my inside and purging all this crap that i don't need or want...i just wanted to say hi and that i miss and love all of you...
ps time to roam around and start my picture file again