The Enchanted Pond
LOLOL! Bloom I already mentioned Canada to Icey last week. Now that is 2 of us.
Get it ICEY?!? 2 of us have mentioned Canada to you.... There’s your sign.....heeheehee
Blmoon, now that is 2 people mentioning Canada to ICEY!! Care to make that three?
Any other Ponders want to weigh in on this?!? LOLOLOL!
I hope you guys don't mind me to put in my two worthless cents and just adding a little to a painful situation and to what has been already said. Thing is so many on this board have experienced the same pain that a separation, betrayal and a huge upsets has caused and that is when they end up on this board looking for insight, answers, help and comfort.
The person who leaves has been thinking it out for a long time and the planning for it for a long time in their mind. By the time they tell you, they have already been through the emotional detachment and when there is a 3rd party involved they already have replaced the original partner and the emotional attachment to them to this other person. When they tell you and you are blind sided the one thing you do is wanting to fix it. Make it to go away and be more kind, loving, understanding and hope they change their mind. This is when the left behind partner makes the mistake of making no demands, no more arguments and let so much slide by and this works to the advantage of the spouse leaving. They already have investigated it, know it for financial details and have the emotional support of the new person who is there with open arms. Sadly the left behind mostly keeps trying to be accommodating and wanting to show love and hopes that this helps the situation while it is too late but it is hard for them to see it.
While they are still under the same roof the one leaving continues to be nice even nicer and shows love and talks nicely etc to leave no room for further arguments or responsibility etc. despite the fact that If they are so loving and still care and love and suffer so much and are soo hurt then why are they still leaving and they are still planning to leave on their time and according to their plan. Please do not fall for it and do what is best for you and your children emotionally and financially. Sadly in the US in most states all is left at this stage is separation of assets.
Hi Sister Sun, Bloom and Znl ...
Thanks so much for your support.
Znl ... we don't know each other at all and I can see your point and no-one is ever stopped from posting here (unless intent is not aligned with ours of course). Thank you for your comments and perspective.
Sister Sun ... and Bloom ... let me combine thoughts for a moment ... after my 'little' (LOL) moment last night, the Sagg and I spoke ... for a lonnnnnnnng time! So much is always said in anger that really needs to be cleared away and that is how that was. Defensive, pain filled responses to an already difficult situation. I, apparently, hear him speak but don't LISTEN to what he's saying. Same applies the other way I think ... especially in emotionally charged environments. Anyway, to sum up ... he NEVER planned to leave without saying good-bye at all. He is truly proud of our life together and cares for me so deeply that he wants to stop hurting me. He thought the best way to do this was to just not tell me things; to protect me from it all. He said that when I cry or get sad, it kills him because he knows he has done this. He doesn't want me to be sad anymore. I am not defending him or denying the truth of what he says ... it just is what it is at this stage.
You will be proud to know that yesterday, throughout all of this, I DID NOT CRY. Not once. Not at all. I think I am now empty. I have no idea but I just can't cry anymore. I feel sad in my heart because this IS all so sad but hey ... to everything there is a purpose, right? Even if I haven't got a d a m n clue what the h e l l it is.
As I type, he will be in Melbourne already and this will be what it will be. I am just going to keep busy and use this breathing space to do just that ... BREATHE!
As far as legal stuff goes ... I know my rights and what he can and can't do. He knows that too. Like I said, most of his lashing out was anger talking because he is also trying to protect himself too. This has become a very difficult situation, made more difficult by a lack of money. Money isn't supposed to be everything but hey, the reality is ... MONEY GIVES YOU CHOICES! And that changes everything. Thank you both for your concerns and rational advice. I appreciate them.
Oh Sunshine ... I am not worried about trying to contact the Gemini. I don't hold any guilt or remorse or any negative aspect to trying to find him at all. I was just SURPRISED that I actually DID something about it. That's all. I truly hope I DO find him. I would love to know what he's done with the last 20 odd years! That, and I am very keen to see how he LOOKS now too. He was so super hot before! That, and hearing his Canadian accent again ... heaven! We shall see if anything ever becomes of this huh?
As to both of you looking at Canada for me ... I LOVE you guys! I have searched moving there so many times I think I know it by heart now. In order to live there, unless you have a job that is on their 'priority' list, one needs $350k in the bank (minimum) to fund living there yourself. That is so not going to happen. As they are, however, a Commonwealth country, and hence one I can go from one to the other on without visa requirements etc; I may be able to secure a small job for a season. The down side to this; work placements are predominantly for the under 30's ONLY. There are so many ways I don't meet criteria but, mostly, my children are NOT independent (financially) and could not remain behind on their own. That does throw a spanner in the works. Perhaps, once they are all settled, I can move more freely? Who knows? Till some money aspect changes in my life in some big way, I can only dream about moving somewhere else. I actually spent time last night (well ... very brief ... like a few minutes) looking at VERMONT. It looks so pretty! And it borders Canada! What's not to love? I do kind of think I could live in the States but that would be an infinitely harder move to make for your country is much harder for me to do that in. I guess if we all just hold the thought, the Universe might find some way to get me out of here. Please ... and thank you, Universe.
I do so LOVE my Enchanted Friends ... you are the VERY best kind of friends in the world. I am eternally grateful and so very honoured to know you as I do. I am deeply touched by your support and thank you for all of your kindness.
May BLESSINGS be yours.
Back later on as I have to go out and find something to help rescue my tree ... it is just drying out so badly and I don't want it to die ... I love my Japanese Elm ...
I hope you find him too, Icey. That may be just what you need in the whole scheme of things. Hey, Icey, a small job for a season may be all you need...ample time to make some friends in places that can get you in somewhere that will keep you in there for longer than a season. Sometimes,its not what you know, but who you get to know that can move mountains. Vermont is of course, a beautiful place as well. I think it would be easier for you to get in here than you think. I went out today to get some pajamas for Logan to wear to school for their winter party. They get to eat treats and watch the movie Polar Express, while in their pajamas and slippers. LOLOL! I bet everyone ran out and got new pajamas for their kids for the party. Anyway, nearly $300.00 later, I stagger home with the little ones (oh yea, I rented a car for the day) worn out and stuff I really shouldn’t have gotten. smh, I hate holiday shopping, but I guess I can’t complain about some of the things I got. At least I did get Logan’s pajamas. LOL
Universe!!!! please give Icey the money and the ability to come to Canada, and/or Vermont.
Beautiful Sister Sun,
LOVE YOU! What a wonderful friend you are. Thank you.
PJ's, Slippers and the Polar Express ... now that sounds like Heaven! The kids will love it, that's so much fun! Our school year is finished here and goes back end of January / beginning of Feb. Our Summer break is like yours - as school finishes for you guys then also. I think you get a longer break than we do though. I hope your gorgeous Little L has the time of his life!
Funny you mention Polar Express ... we watch this EVERY Christmas Eve. It is the Sagg's favourite Christmas movie. have no idea how things will pan out this year or the years to follow but ... we shall make something out of whatever comes our way. It is a great movie. I love the Christmas bell ... makes me cry every time!
Also funny how you mention how easy it is to spend $$$$ ... and on stuff ... just stuff. Never ceases to amaze me just how much retailers hike prices up before Christmas and, a little QUICK trip to the shops to get a few things turns into hundreds of dollars later and there's not much to show for it. I hope whatever you bought does bring JOY for then the exchange of money for goods brings positive energy back around.
Thank you Sunny ... I hope the Universe has me ear-marked for LOTS of money LOL ... wouldn't it be just so wonderful to have enough money to spread around ... do things for others you love, help the environment and the animal kingdom (which I would so do!) and simply spread goodness everywhere. Yes, I think I would like that very much! I join your shout out to the Universe my friend ... bring it ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please and thank you ... of course! LOL
I spent the entire afternoon in my front garden ... pruning this street tree that no-one can see around (I do think Councils do not think before they plant things!), pulling out some gorgeous new plants that have died in like 2 weeks, planting some flowers and more shrubs, fixing sprinkler heads, sweeping, raking the mulch and snipping the lawn edges. I am EXHAUSTED now! I added wetting agents, fertilizers and sprayed weeds. I have done so much it's scary! Looks fantastic out there and, soon, I will be done. I just have a few more touches to add and my front garden IS the most stunning garden in the entire street! I LOVE IT! Looks beautiful!
Now I get to cook and do some washing and then fall in a heap. I've been for my walk / run this morning for an hour and I have squatted, stood, knelt, bent over and done a million movements so that should help me sleep tonight when I'm all alone. Keeping busy has been good in one way though because it has kept my mind from drifting back to the Sagg for the better part of the day. I am wondering how his meeting went as this meeting will have an effect on me too ... and wondering what he's doing now. Hard not to, I suppose ... 28 years of daily living leaves a big empty hole when one person isn't around, doesn't it? I know I'll get used to being alone one day and eventually, I'll be filling my free time with stuff ... I just have to LIVE through THIS first and that's the HARD part! Sigh ...
Maybe I could let you guys kind of choose where in the States I should go? LOL Now, that would be interesting, wouldn't it? I have never not lived near an ocean of course, for Australia is like the biggest island out there. I LOVE mountains and I adore rivers and lakes so I would absolutely need to live near these things, don't you think? I can so see myself in some gorgeous stone house beside a lake or river near a mountain. So, if ya'll know where I can find myself one of those????????? Bring it on! Couldn't agree more Sunshine ... who knows what CONNECTIONS we make in our life time? Cannot wait for the good stuff to arrive. Cannot wait. For now, it remains ... one day at a time.
Holding you close dear friend,
LOL! Icey, I have asked the Universe for more than just a few extra things for you.... I love the ocean as well. I was totally in love with Hawaii. Like Australia, lots of ocean and islands, but warm and tropical all year. The scenery is so beautiful, I never got tired of looking at the beauty of the plants, trees and the blue transparent ocean. The people are wonderful too.
If you like mountains, lakes, seasons, particularly cold winters... Colorado, Minnesota (has a Canada Border too) vermont is beautiful country too, upstate New York. Now if you like remote, great wide open spaces, places with few neighbors and lots of snow, Montana is a great hideout, so big and remote, most of Montana isn’t populated.
California has mountains, valleys, ski places, beaches, sunshine, rivers, lakes, desert....you name it. LOL, however, they also have earthquakes, wildfires, mudslides, but the beauty of some of their places overrides some of the bugaboos of living there. We got it all, whatever you want.
Really been tired, sleeping a lot. Getting nothing done for my trip. Going to get stuff done.
Talk at cha later.
Blmoon, does spirit have anything for me at the moment?
Welcome to the Pond. We are a motley crew here, but we all have one thing in common....we are all people who love and support each other. We do our best to support each other and not pass judgements. We welcome everyone to the Pond to come sit and talk and/or just “be”.
Feel free to hang about and get to know us all in here.
Hiya LC & Sister Sun,
LC ... hoping everything is going well for you and that your proposal plans are still in full swing. I also hope Blmoon has some time to hear your call. We all wish you glorious happiness Mr. Catfish x x x
Sister Sun ... WOOHOO! I like your thinking! I like it A LOT!!!! LOL Bring on those extras!!!!!! LOL I would be very happy to live amidst the trees and mountains and rivers and lakes. I'm not the biggest 'ocean' fan (don't care for sand really) but, when I was thinking about it, I realized that, of course, everywhere in Australia (along the coast lines that is) there is ocean, so it's always been but a short drive to the beach! A 'tree change' is my plan ... I believe we should all live where we feel happiest for life is too short to spend in spaces we don't like.
I did some more research ... before crashing (man was I tired! But then I had such a bad night's sleep ... sweating profusely, pains in my chest ... no idea what that was about other than perhaps I felt like that because my Sagg was probably cheating on me at those moments???? dreadful thought but when I was awake, that thought crossed my mind ... and then I thought ... well, EVERYTHING changes from here on in anyway.) and I was looking at homes in the New Hampshire area ... there were some reasonably priced homes on some land which is what I would want. I don't care to do 'suburbia' again ... nor could I honestly do too remote ... I do like to shop still! LOL So, the things that are important to me are beginning to become clearer now. There MUST be trees (cannot live without trees anymore), mountains and water. A home made out of stone is my dream but, I am ok if that cannot be ... for now. LOL I have looked at Montana ... hmm ... has always been on my 'must see' list! Could be interesting ... big sky country, isn't it?
Much to my daughter's disgust ... I could never do California. It's just not me. My daughter is making plans to go back to the States next October (possibly September). She misses Vegas terribly and, all the people she met over there, they still keep in touch with her and write to her, ask when she's coming back all the time. She wants to do California, San Fran (most of all) and road trip into Vegas. She will be saving up like mad. I would like to head your way about the same time too ... see that gorgeous Autumn (Fall) colour and witness the splendour that is your home. Keeping everything crossed ... for all of us!
And I want to see your Halloween!
Holding the love and possibility in my heart!
Who knows Sister Sun ... we may just be neighbours one day?
Angel Hugs to you & the Little L's and happy preparing for your holiday. Keep in mind how wonderful the change in energy will be for all of you, ok? Think of it as a breath of fresh air sent to rejuvenate you and free you from what is no longer necessary to hang onto. Wishing you happiness my friend.
Icey x x x
Dear Enchanted Souls,
Hi! Love and Blessings to each of you. Keeping you near!
LOL! Neighbors, eh?? Well, you might like Pennsylvania, and you could reasonably find a stone house here, there are enough quarries here. Pa has a lot of old and new married together in quite the fashion, old buildings amongst new skyscrapers, I love looking at the architecture.
Montana is a good place to drop someone off a cliff and never find them again...LOLOL! I love California, but too much natural disasters for me. Vegas is too deserty, though most of my Lord relatives live near there. New Hampshire might be good, I think you might like Vermont, though. LOL! Vermont has the stigma of being the “Whitest” state in the USA, hardly any ppl of non white extraction live there...LOL! Guess I couldn’t come visit you there...they might think I am there to rob the place... LOLOL
Getting ready for the trip...just not getting ready fast enough, keep falling asleep, haven’t cleaned here either. Shaking the fog off. Lazy, Lazy!
Talk to Laie, bet she knows some fantastic places you might like to check out...she lives around the cool places.
Love you, Icey, keep looking...something will pop up. Maybe a piggyback trip with your daughter would be fun for you both...
Called, "The Breath of Creation" ... my gift to everyone for today!
We'll try again ...
And I made it smaller ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Like ... FINALLY! I adore this guy's art ... he is sooooooooo soul filled ....... magical!!!!! So, for today ... let's CREATE something we wish for!
Neighbour's Sister Sun ... woohoo!!!! LOL I must admit, I did like the idea that Vermont was called 'the white state' ... most certainly NOT because of race but because of the word 'white' - that made me go 'yes!' I suppose I will just have to go check this place out then, right? That, and for some reason, 'Vermont' was the ONLY name that first popped into my head. Think checking it out is a definite. Let's hope I find an adorable space and you and the Little L's can come holiday with me too! We can have a total pond get together every month! Partay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Partay at Icey's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL I'm so there!
I laughed my butt off at your Montana reference! LMBO ROFL LOL LMBO Perhaps I ought to check this spot out then hey? LOL I think I should check out a lot of places. Must look into whether or not outsiders can actually buy property in the US? That, and how long I can stay there for as an out of towner????? Hmmm ... could be good to have a project such as this to occupy my mind!
I do hope your packing comes along my sweet. It is so very hard to do things when one's motivation isn't there. Trust me ... I understand completely. This morning, whilst running and walking again, I thought of all the things I need to do and then went ... 'can I be bothered?' I will tackle some of them and the rest ... well, they really need to wait until I have $$$$. I DID buy a lottery ticket for tonight! Keeping the magic alive!!!!!! I WILL WIN! I DESERVE TO WIN! Hoping you really do manage to pack and enjoy it Sister Sun. I would be ... I would be OVER THE MOON to be travelling anywhere right now. Thinking of you ...
Don't think I could travel with my daughter ... she likes the West Coast, I want to see the East. She loves heat, I am not a fan. She is indecisive, that drives me nuts! LOL She is fun but her fun isn't my fun. I would love to take all my kids to Europe one day though ... so much to see on our fair planet huh?
Keep being fabulous my dear friend!
Love to you,
You’d be surprised at the foreigners who come in and buy property, then you can too. LOL! Vermont is some beautiful country, you will like it, but you should go to the west coast with your daughter, go see Big Sur, Coronado Island, drive the pacific coastal highway, see the Golden Gate Bridge...go skiing in the Sierra mountains, etc...There’s a crapload of things to do and see everywhere, and plenty of time to see it. The folks will love listening to your Australian accent and keep asking you questions just to hear you talk, lolol! Having a holiday with you will be fun, something to look forward to. I hope your lotto ticket wins. I bought one for the Powerball tomorrow, it is up to about 50 million. That will be enough to get you over here...
Love that picture you posted.
Start polishing that lear jet broom and getting it ready to zoom over the Big Pond. You will get here.
!2:20 am, guess I better get to bed, I have to finish my packing, and one more day till I fly away home.
Have a wonderful day, Icey.
Hello to my Ponder family. Blessings and love to you all. I am getting excited for my trip home. The kids are excited too. It will be fin for them, particularly with their cousins around. The money I have spent is outrageous! Christmas has become such a commercial holiday. not doing this next year, not on this scale anyway.
Anyway, I hope everyone that celebrates the holidays has a really grreat one. Happy New Year too, in advance.
Light and Love,
I am trying to dig and shift sand and have given up ... it is soooooo HOT here I cannot last long in this sun. Not to be confused with spending all my time with you Sister Sun! LOL LOL LOL I shall try again after dinner when the sun goes down, down and down! I can't rely on the Sagg to help me do anything around here now, especially if he leaves really soon. Won't know till Monday when that will / might be. So, it's just me and a whole house to get done. Yay! Not! I did speak with my young neighbour yesterday - he's a bit of a carpenter and can do a lot of things. he has agreed to help me do some stuff and the rest? Well, perhaps when I go out on the town I shall ask all prospective gentlemen how 'handy' they are first! ROFL LOL LOL
Happy packing and the safest of trips my friend. Enjoy! Rest! Be MERRY! Will chat to you when you have time over your break but, if you don't get back here; I salute your NEW YEAR and all the joyous plans and happiness you have coming your way!
Will definitely visit Vermont ... the West Coast can wait. I have just lived on our West Coast for 12 years; I can wait to see another one! LOL My lear broom jet is so ready to fly my love ... oh so ready! LOL
Happy Time Away & Super sized Chrissy Hugs for the Little L's and yourself.
Turned in the rental car today, got my last package off, got another carryon bag to take on the plane. It’s going to be interesting to see how this trip goes, particularly with my back out. on the way tomorrow night...
LOL! Well if Sagg can run off and leave you to handle house repairs, he must agree to one of 2 things: Agree to pay without argument or rancor whomever you engage to help with the house repairs, or else give you the lion’s share of the proceeds if/when you sell the house to offset having to hire someone else. And since you are like me, kind hearted...don’t be nice about it...
I had to drive past the place where Michael was killed today. I try to steer as far from it as I possibly can when I get around town, but today I had to drive it. It was really hard because I could see it all happening in my mind’s eye. The bush that was supposedly obscuring the policeman’s vision has been removed, and they are supposed to place a street light there so it won’t be so dark. Not enough, if you ask me, there needs to be a crosswalk, and a blinking light. I will work on that.
Still feeling tired...sleeping a lot. guess I will just go with the flow.....
Happy Holidays to everyone.