The Enchanted Pond



  • Hi Lotus,

    That is great for Kevin! My daughter seemed to really enjoy BU.

    My first week of my new job...lol...lucky I am flexible because my hours kept changing this week. However, a lot of parents wanted to get testing done before school started, so I will start off with a nice little check, and then I imagine the hours will decrease per week, which is fine. I didn't really want to work every day. I find that it organizes my time very well and keeps me happier. I think my hub is happy that I am out of the house and he can be more relaxed without me jamming up his day 🙂

    Rugby...smash and crash...not sure there are many rules, lol - although I'm sure there are. I hope he enjoys it. From what I hear, great relationships are made on a rugby team!

    Sunny...you sound so positive! I hope your kiddo's have a good year and that your son's teachers are impressed with how well he's done this summer.

    Off we go into September schedules. I am starting to do some fall clean-up in the garden. I had to replace my hedge clippers, which now double as a 'garden leveler', swiping through perennials that need to be clipped to the ground. (that will actually happen later, I still have many blooms to enjoy now). And still working on my schedule for Italy, which is fun. I have been doing a lot of historical reading, which has been a little heavy...we haven't changed much as a human race it seems...lots of wars in Italy over the centuries. yikes.. but we have this life to enjoy and live by our choices, so I try to remember that.

    Hope all ponders are doing well, including those from long ago!!

    Hugs from Bloom

    xoxo



  • Hi All! Happy Labor Day to those in US and Happy Day to those elsewhere! Still a few more weeks left of summer but can't tell by these last few stormy days. Labor Day is usually the last beach & party hurrah so many folks disappointed but there is still sunny days to come. We had kids over Sat & Sun and luckily missed storms. School days ... Hope everyone has a great year!



  • Thanks Laie! Hope you have a great year too!

    This week is supposed to be nice, after our weird weekend...and just in time for kiddo's to go back to school. I remember that....but now, I can enjoy the weather since I am RETIRED!!! woo hooo 🙂

    Hugs from Bloom

    xoxo



  • Hi All! How is everyone doing now that fall is upon us & school has resumed?

    Bloom how is your new job? your plans for Italy?

    Sunny- how are you & your kids doing? Are you back in school? I've been listening to classical music a lot lately & it makes me think of you. Are you playing?

    Laie Back watching grandkids play sports?

    Icey- as we prepare for chilly winter, your warm weather arrives. Still planning to move?

    LC- awaiting your next inspiration

    I'm busy finishing outdoor projects & making plans to keep busy indoors next. I'm taking an online PT course-1st time. Ready to resume learning to crochet. Slowly getting to know garden club members- not always easy to join an exisiting group but I'm getting there. Really enjoy my time spent at the food pantry-its a win win for me & the recipients

    Happy Fall my friends

    Blessings Lotus



  • Dear Friends,

    I cannot believe that I have not been here for as long as this and I ask for your forgiveness as it may be some time before I am back again. I will explain but first, I hope that each of you are ok and that life in your world is beautiful. Always know that I am wishing only the very best for you all.

    There is no easy way to share my news, and because I am dying so badly on the inside that I feel sick ,,, and I desperately need to be with you all; I have to tell you this. My husband is LEAVING ME. He told me two nights ago and I just can't remember how to breathe anymore. I HURT sooooooo much that no sound will come out. I feel broken and shattered and soooooooooo sick. I thought my life, whilst filled with challenges of course, was rock solid when it came to love. How far from the truth this now is. I am filled with a choking that doesn't ease and my chest heaves for the heart that has so painfully been ripped from it. I just cannot believe he doesn't love me anymore. How can that happen? I have no answers and nor does he. He just said that this part of him died awhile ago and he could no longer live a lie; he needs to be happy and that means not with me. O God I hurt. I throw up all the time and feel so bad. I have taken today off work because I just can't face anyone. Naturally, all my kids are home - exam time and all that. I need to be alone here to hide all this pain - it's impossible to feel so bad and keep pretending it's ok. We made an agreement to continue as normal (whatever the h e l l that means) until all of the kids had finished exams and courses and then they would be told. We continue to live together as financially, we just could not apart. O God this is so bad. 28 years for what? How does love just die inside someone?????? I am just so broken my friends ... broken.

    Please know how much I love you all and know that I think of you where you are and I ask the Universe to bless each of you.

    In my soul,

    Icey without any light at all now.



  • Icey, I'm so sorry for the deep sadness& loss you are experiencing now. I will keep you in my thoughts for healing & peace to sustain you. Universe is gently holding you & the Light within will help you find strength. Be open to your children's love to sustain you

    Blessings

    Lotus



  • Dear Lotus, many thanks for your kindness and love - truly appreciated.

    Love,

    Icey



  • Dear Icearia,

    Just know that while it hurts so much that you can't breathe, you will make it through this rough patch and be much stronger from it. Ask yourself "What am I supposed to learn from this?" It will get better with the passing of time is what I was told after the ending of my 23 year marriage. And it has and I'm able to look to the future with optimism and joy. I have the freedom to reinvent myself and start on a new journey in midlife.

    Keep your chin up - He doesn't know what he'll be missing but thats his problem not yours.

    Blessings,

    Sharon62



  • Dear Icey,

    I am shocked and so very sorry for this. I have been there where you are, and I understand the feelings very well. I Wish I was so closer so that I could come round and be a real friend. Just know that all of us here love you and will be praying and sending you lots of Love and Healing Light. I am keeping your name in my special prayers. I will also pray for your hubby as well. He may yet find that that horizon he is looking at may not be as rosy as it looks. Please come back to our Pond and be here with us all. It is a beautiful healing place. I hold you close and send you love and healing energy.

    Thinking of you.

    Sunshine



  • Thank you beautiful Sister Sun,

    You are a 'real' friend to me ... no matter the distance. Friends like my Enchanted Pond friends are the truest friends I can honestly say I am blessed to hold near. Thank you for everything you have said and felt for me. I am so grateful; and also very sorry that you have also known such heart-break ... think that binds all of us here at the pond, doesn't it?

    There is one thing I am learning and that is that nothing is permanent. The whole Buddhist thing (and Zen really) of impermanence is astoundingly true. I am managing to see many things about myself; lots that need changing and lots that just need nurturing for I am not, and have never been, a 'bad' person. I hold this one song in my head and repeat the same two lines over and over again. I have no idea why but it just won't leave me ... it's like this haunting mantra that I have no desire to manifest but, instead, I think it sums up my world for now. It's the Bonnie Raitt song "I can't make you love me" and the words I keep repeating are: "I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't." Just sums up life, really, huh?

    Kills me on the inside.

    Still.

    I know so much intellectually - just can't seem to make my soul understand anything. Time is the best healer of all, yes, yes it is. However, when one's world ebbs and flows and illusion becomes more like reality ... there is ONLY today. In my today, my soul aches, my eyes hurt from crying and I am so confused about how to be, what to say, how to act and all those things. Nothing is normal anymore and it's hard to get my head around it all. My heart is just lost, too.

    Hoping that your world is filled with beauty, Sister Sun.

    Thanks for being my Enchanted Friend.

    Angel Hugs,

    Icey x x x



  • Hello Sharon62,

    Thank you for dropping by the pond to leave me a message. I appreciate the time you have taken to express your experiences and thoughts on my journey. It was lovely to read that your world has been renewed and that you have found the confidence and joy to continue on your path in the manner you now are. I am truly happy for you.

    May your life always bring you happy blessings.

    Angel Hugs,

    Icey Moonbeam x x x



  • You have my heartfelt sympathies Icey, I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....



  • I love you, LC!

    Thank YOU for YOU! Write me a poem beautiful one ... use your amazing talent to lift all of us beyond the earthly pain that each of us endures for some unknown reason. Use all of your truth to find a space that is true.

    I am hoping that your world is kind to you in your today.

    My thanks for such a heart-felt message.

    Now go shine your light my friend.

    Angel Hugs,

    Ice x x x



  • Today, Icey, my dear friend, we are sisters in the pain of earthly loss.

    The place I come is to our Pond to be in peace and safety with my fellow Ponders, in our safe haven. On Oct 3 evening, Logan and Lauren’s father died. He was struck and killed by a speeding police cruiser on a dark street with no streetlights and no crosswalk. The policeman was off duty and speeding down the street without headlamps or siren going. Michael was crossing the street when he was struck by the car. I pray that he died instantly and didn’t know what had happened to him. We weren’t together, hadn’t been for years, and he struggled for most of his adult life with his alcoholism, but recently, he had finally begun to help me support our children. He was only 49. Lauren will take it harder because she was a Daddy’s girl, whereas he didn’t pay much attention to Logan, so they weren’t as close. My pain is in the fact that I was the last person he spoke to before the accident. I was rude to him because he was intoxicated when he called me, and was trying to argue, so I hung up on him. He left his house and was killed 10 minutes later. I wonder if I hadn’t been such an a $ $ and perhaps dealt with him another 5 minutes, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. I wanted him to keep out of my life as much as possible because of his issues, but I certainly didn’t mean this!! Logically, I know I am not responsible for his drinking and his many legal issues that came with the territory, but emotionally, I am torn. I keep wondering why this way? Maybe it was his time to go, but that is a violent and horrific way to die. His body was totally broken. The Monroeville police still haven’t made the attempt to come to my door and apologize, or even bothered to come tell me he was dead, I heard from a social worker at the hospital and she wasn’t even told the correct story. My only consolation in all this is that I hope his tortured soul is finally at peace. The kids seem okay so far, Lauren seems to have grasped what has happened, though Logan, I can’t really be sure.

    My poor, dear children, such a loss.

    LC, I am happy to see you have come here. It has been a long time and I am really glad to “see” you. Hugs to you.

    Welcome to Sharon, glad to see you at our great place. Please stay awhile.

    Amused, Laie and Bloom, Glad to see you all have been around. Sometimes I come in, sit on my rock and meditate. Still recuperating from my vehicle accident of last year, and the office finally had to terminate me because it has been over a year and I am still not ready or able to get back to work. Still have post concussive syndrome and many issues that are part and parcel with it. 😞

    However, I think my kids are happy that I am at home with them after school. They seem to really be happy to come home instead of going to daycare, so I am thinking that there is a silver lining in all of this.

    Icey, I am sending you lots of love and hugs from me and the kids. We will both survive these trying days, we are strong and have each other and our Pond family to rally around us along with our other people. I am putting a strong violet light around us both. xoxoxoxo

    My love to everyone, back to reality I must go, {{{sigh}}}

    Lovingly,

    Sunshine



  • I apologize Lotus, I keep forgetting you aren’t known by that name anymore. 😞 sorry.



  • Oh Dear Sunshine,

    What the???????? I want to ask this question but fear not to because every time I do ... even MORE inane things befall us here on planet silly. Am desperately trying to not make "What Next???" a part of my life anymore.

    My dear, dear friend ... how positively awful; not only for you & the kids but for Michael as well. What a senseless and tragic event. I am just so sorry. It never matters whether the path we walk here is one of pure light or not, no soul deserves to be killed. The poor man ... like you, I ask the Goddess to bring him peace and to allow him to move to a new and more enlightened life. Blessings to him.

    Yes, your poor children. Losing a father, even if he wasn't great at it, is still losing a part of the self and this will always be in them. Thankfully, they have YOU as their mother. And I really do mean, THANKFULLY! Please hold them close for me, too. You are all they need right now - remember that!

    49??? ... same age as me. So young in the scheme of things isn't it? I suppose, however, that we each DO live the life we need to and we each experience that which is necessary for our evolvement ... so, like my cousin who died just a few years ago at 45 ... I imagine that Michael also packed into his life-time as much as possible. We each step left or right in order to bring us to our next step left or right and then the next and so on. Eventually, when we no longer need to step again, we will have amassed experiences, both joy filled and overwhelmingly sad, that bring us to the height of our life-time. No experience is ever wasted for the soul needs all of it to be free; so it can express its highest form of self.

    This is just so sad, Sister Sun.

    Yes, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT, do you hear? Nothing. We, as I wrote above, experience other beings and interact and engage with others just the way we are supposed to ... so that, in all states, we can learn ... both parties ... about the self. Your final discussion with him could never have been any different Sunshine - please do not take this on as your own. Instead, if you feel compelled to change something, right something ... perhaps you could expose the truth about his passing? Perhaps this is a new doorway for you and your action is needed?

    The pond is most definitely a land of great healing and I consider myself abundantly blessed to have gathered so many truly beautiful beings in one space. This is the enchantment. I am grateful beyond words for the love I have felt (& seen) here ... it is my favourite place to go. Glad that you find it so as well Sister Sun. Stay and rest.

    Know that I am sending you light and love and healing and every wish for wonderful joy to be yours ... always. Your little ones, too.

    Keep shining Sunshine.

    Love & Hugs,

    Icey x x x



  • I wish I could lift your spirits with a

    happy little rhyme, but alas,

    the only cure for heartbreak

    is the slow passage of time

    not fair that love felt in an instant can take so long to fade...



  • Oh LC ... thank YOU!

    So succinct really ... all we ever have is ourselves ... and time (and lots of it). Yes, time is it isn't it? With time, all things change. Hmmm ...

    I couldn't agree more - love is instant and fades all too slowly; if at all. I have had this very discussion with my husband actually, and not all that long ago either ... you know, back when I thought everything was ok (small smile ...) in response to something in the news where I found it incredulous that two people who loved each other could just lose that love and do such horrible things to the other. I have never understood how people who come together, lose love. Boy, in light of my today, I sound like a naïve fool really, don't I? Yet, I doubt that I could ever be any other way really. I believe in the fairy-tale ... live for the fairy-tale ... thought I had the fairy-tale and even now, like to think there is a fairy-tale for me. More small smiles ...

    And do we know what's around the corner? No; no we don't. When things happen to us that we would prefer they didn't, it is so hard to understand them as being something we have chosen for ourselves, isn't it? No amount of thinking can ever get us to a point where we can understand ... where we are able to see what it was all about. That is the unfairness you mention LC ... that we are spirit doing the human with unfathomable limitations. In my crystal ball I would love to see my happily ever after ... I NEED something (right now) to keep hope alive within me. I need to feel as though all this pain isn't just cruelty. I NEED ... to have something to look forward to. But all I have is a void ... an empty, isolating and extremely lonely expanse of nothing.

    Sometimes, even I wonder what the h e l l this life is all about! All I have is me ... and time (for now) ... and sooooooooo many questions. And, most importantly, I have the Enchanted Pond and all who gather here in love, with love ... FOR LOVE! And that IS my one, true special thing in life.

    Thanks for being a part of it Last Crusader.

    Blessings to you.

    Icey x x x



  • Hi Icey,

    You echo my sentiments exactly...I wonder what it is all for. I have had so much going on in the past couple years, and I come here cry on the shoulders of all the Ponders and still more happens. Like you, I am raw, and just one more thing brushing against this thin inner skin brings forth such pain, one tends to think it unbearable. But you and I, we will grit our teeth and ride the waves of pain as it engulfs us, and someday soon, we will notice it starts to hurt less and less until one day, we have covered that raw tender skin with healing new skin, and we will be strong again. Life experiences aside, I could use a bit more smiles and a few less frowns.

    Giving you a big hug and healing violet light. We will prevail!

    LC, you are my new favorite poet. Whether you quote lyrics or write whimsical prose, you are our own resident poet, and we love you. Keep serenading us with prose that inspires and opens our heart and minds.

    Blessings to everyone on our pond. I love you all.



  • Hi Sister Sun,

    I know my angel ... I know that your life has been filled with the most incredible suffering; particularly within the last few years. It is a true testament to YOU, the being of immense light that you are, that you are continuing to move forward on your journey at all. I am just so very PROUD of the soul you are Sunshine. Truly, you are a remarkable individual.

    Yes, one day ... two words I have disliked since I was a very small child (for me, these words always meant 'never') we shall both hold ourselves up and be surrounded by only goodness and peace and light. Lord knows we have earned that, right? LOL Perhaps now, dear Universe, those of us who have really suffered, don't need to suffer any longer? OK????????????? I believe in goodness and I hold the light of possibility inside me always ... it is just so hard to continue in darkness all the time. I would dearly like that to stop - for all of us.

    I admire you enormously Sunshine ... and I know that our Universe holds something AMAZING for YOU just around the corner. Keep remembering this. throw all your energy into this. Make it manifest for you.

    Always sending you love ... and hope,

    Your Icey x x x


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