The Enchanted Pond
Sunshine ... just posted a forever long piece to you only to have it freeze and my internet disappear in a blink!
aaaarggggggggh! E v i l Tarot.com!
Once more... WELCOME BACK HOME! Both to the pond and to your Little L's who must be beside themselves that you are back with them now. It is so wonderful to see you here again ... have missed my Sister of Sun to be sure!
I know, right? First there's Queenie Q dragging the pond into the murky jello beyond and now Arwyn (Purduemo) is joining her ... ROFL ... wasn't me ... I'm the haloed innocent one with the sweet smile, REMEMBER???? and then Gem ... she is the one to reallllly watch LOL LOL LOL and, DD with his post! Is there a planet going ars*e up is there?????
Now, I was going to walk away and climb insode myself for a bit over DD's leaving ... whilst I appreciate it is his choice ... one does not leave other connected souls ... It was actually your post that has turned my thinking around you know? Thank you! It was lovely to hear Angel Michael slashing through the illusions and fears behind your words Sister Sunshine! Go YOU! Your response came froma very deep place ... a wonderful place of immense wisdom and soul. It was YOU who awoke the TRUTH in me, too. I am a part of the truth and, as such, need to act like it. Hence, here I am ...
Your hospital stay was positively nasty my beloved friend!!!! It is so good that you are well enough to come home to us and your precious baybees. You have been always in our hearts and you know.
Now, remind me again where the bad is in having a month off work, fully PAID?????? Ummmm ... consider the bigger picture here my lovely Sun ... you have just been blessed with 'time' .... lots of precious time. Consider all possibilities? Consider the glass is half full! Allow the little light bulb above your pretty head to go BLING! Consider the GOOD! That's better ... that's my girl ... run with the opportunity now ...
Your words are fabulous and meaningful Sister of Sun ... never forget that! You ARE loved dearly here and I am over-joyed you are back and getting stronger every day!
Angel Hugs Lady of Truth & Beauty!
Dearest Bloom ... sorry you have had to wait so long for me to come back ... been a hel*l of a day huh?
I actually think our Starry one Arwyn answered you better than I ever could. And, she is right ... it is impossible to expect anyone to be intimate with anyone who has betrayed their trust. Sex is just sex unless the mind, body and soul move as one. Therefore, every part of you has to be committed or else it's never going to feel right.
In many ways, it is a shame that he was your first (not advocating anything ok ...LOL) because you have nothing to compare your experiences with. It is, however, not only common in your age group but for some even younger than me I have discovered. Some girls I know here have only just awoken to the fact that women can receive! Sad huh? Talk about controlling men issues ... makes your Pisces look like a kitten!
The question of whether or not you love your hub, T ... is not up for challenging ... but, whether or not you can find a future with him, might well be. Only you can come to that place of power Bloom ... though, all of us here are holding your hand as you discover your self and your self's meaning. We keep your heart close to ours because we feel your struggle.
I think it is exciting to the max that you are awakening on so many levels and yes, the good ol' physical aspect is important too ... like I said, loving is a triple act and none of it, in a relationship, works out of balance with the other if it is to feel right for you. I think it is fabulous that your Pisces man has evoked so many new feelings within you but ... yes, there's always a buttttt huh LOL ... one has to ask why he is doing that to you? What does he gain from it? I do think you confuse him ... a lot ... but, playing with someone is never nice and never selfless. Be mindful I guess is where I'm going ...
You don't need to answer any of us dearest lady but, consider for yourself, what is it you really want? What do you think you really need? What kind of life is important to you? How do you want to feel? They are the things I was asked too. It's dam*n hard to answer too when your head is torn in multiple directions. I learnt to come back to my feeling place ... my soul, not my ego or conscience. I can hear "Marriage is for life. Commitment is linked with faithfulness and honesty and what I said when I married him" inside your thoughts. But, really, is living a lie living? And, perhaps, after all, it is just time you and T need to get back on track? My Hub is never going to be the Gemini (sad but true) but our lovely Arwyn is right again, he tries to give me all he can and really, who am I to expect more than that? He's not Mr. Gemini so is it fair to compare him to that? What is it I really want then? I know I want the fairy-tale ... I want it all ... but, do I not have exactly what I wished for moons and moons ago??? Someone to love me unconditionally, completely and just for who I am?
I get that your Pisces has awoken things in you that even you probably found impossible to exist. My Gemini did that too. Oh GOD how he did that! I will NEVER forget his touch, his looking into my soul, his breath against my skin ... it's just different with hubs isn't it? Time can equal complacency but, for you my sweet friend, you have so many trust lessons to work through with him before you can even imagine running off to some B&B together. Your level of honesty with him is entirely up to you (& I think the dancing lessons are a great idea my dear). It's every man's dream to have hot sex all weekend long, age is no barrier to that, but ... could you tell him what your fantasy is? Perhaps when you know what it is yourself first that is???
I think you have spent a life-time considering everyone elses' needs above your own Bloom. Not that this is wrong, it just leaves little room for you to address the self. I'm thinking you need to concentrate on Bloom for now ... get YOU prioritized in your own head lovey ... and, if you need to have a brief affair of the mind to do that ... to realllly learn about you on a feeling level ... then DO! Life is too short to spend ignoring the call within ... on any level. You are allowed to be important. You matter. Relationships are a 2-way street nd something is very wrong if one partner isn't getting that.
I guess you now have more than you care to think about beautiful Bloom. Just know that there is no shame, no guilt and no harm in learning what you need from life, need to experience on many levels and need to come to understand about you. The enchanted pond is a haven ... as Moonbeam Hotel will be too once it's built. You can all come live with me there ... always wanted to try a commune styled thingy! I am such a flower child!
It is safe to spread your wings and fly in here Bloom ... we will all lovingly keep you afloat!
DD, sorry that you feel that way! Hope that you keep checking in...
Hugs from Bloom xoxo
ALl right, crazy women...have your way with those firemen...can anyone find some pictures of s e x y musicians? I'd like to see that!!
Thanks for all of your help and support. I am going to take time to think and work my way through all this!!
Sunshine, I was hoping it wasn't MRSA, but there you go. That is scary stuff. Ouch on all of those IV moves...I have that problem too, only half of the sticks bleed out so I get more and more, sometimes that is the worst part. SOOO glad that you are home now. I hope that you WILL have some time to catch up on your studies and enjoy a little rest away from work as Icey suggests.
Love and light.
Good idea. Thinking works ... sing out if you want a sounding board! We'll all be here.
Hot muso's huh? Ummmmm ... hello .... Queen of the HOT musician finding is ... here!!!!
the first one is sex on legs ... watch any film clip of his and watch this guy's eyes ...
And now .... this is the love of my life ... my fluffy cloud partner, the reason for passion and my soul's twin ... I LOVE this man to the stars and beyond .... he's the hottest of the hot .... my drool factor ... my reason for dreaming ...
And now I want him more than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh be still my heart ................................. where fore art thou baybee????? Come to ME!
Well it's the next day, and I'm all refreshed, so I will take over for you, I know you've been suffering with the mouth to mouth, but please explain why there are 7 of them there and you've only managed to revive 3?? Poor boys.
I will be more careful next time, promise..
Me thinks these girls are getting very selfish with the pool boys and firemen. I, like you, do not have anyone next to me yet, so you think they could just let us dream a little, but no, even when I babyset for free, I get yelled at. Well, from now on I charge ladies..
Have to get going now, supposed to snow and rain today, so dont' want to get caught in it but I usually do. Walks have been great now that all are going with me...LIke Icy said, the more the merrier...
Hugs and blessings
Just got back from out walk, cut it short today, have been thinking of DD and his post.. It all of a sudden dawned on me, that is the most he has shared with us since he came to the pond..He spilled out so much, and of course his anger is evident. He can not handle reaching out, that's why he wants to leave. You got in his head sweetie, you really did, and he doesn't like it. He wants to be mad and mistrustful, and mean and just plain angry. He can't while we are all trying to make him happy. You most of all had faith that he can come out, but he won't, it's to hard, it's to much work to forgive and forget and go on. He doesn't understand that trust has to be earned, not just given. You can't just meet a person and trust them, they have to earn it, he goes in trusting right away and then when it gets broken, he can't take it. It takes time to do all of this, a coward hides in the dark and waits for the devil to take him. A brave man fights to the end. If he's a quitter then he is, nothing we can do about that, but I somehow think he isn't going to quit.
If he never comes back it will be because he can't face reality anymore. It is not you fault, you got more out of him then I'll bet anyone has in years, Just read what he wrote, it's a tell all in a few short sentences. Do not be sad sweet lady, you accomplished a lot. At first I was angry at him for throwing all that we have tried to do back in our faces, specially yours. But then I read his post again and if you do, you will see, He just about came right out of his soul to write what he did. At least he's moving.
You my dear are the sweetest most precious women to have come along in years, you fight to live and you fight to save others. I wished there was something that I could do for you now, but the only thing I can say is, do not feel responsible for DD. He is a grown man that has to take on his own healing, I felt bad to when I read it. I like teasing him and trying to get him smile. But I think he may be back. I'm betting on it. It seems that we might be the only family he has right now..
Love Hugs and Blessings to you,
How sad honey, my husband had to be in one of those rooms, I hated it and refused to wear all that stuff to go in and see him. I know sometimes that it is for everyone elses good, but it made him feel dirty and I wasn't going to do that to him, I had to do a lot of washing up before I could leave the room, but I did it. What he had wasn't as contagous as what you have thou.
I can imagine how happy your babies were to see you. It's such a thrill to be loved and missed that much. At least with the time off you will get to spend time with them and relax and heal. That time will go faster then you think.
Hugs and blessings to you and I will pray for a speedy recovery too.
This is the last thing I will write to you, and then I too will be silent.
AS YOU GROW UP, YOU WILL HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN MORE THEN ONCE AND IT'S HARDER EVERY TIME. YOU'LL BREAK HEARTS TOO, SO REMEMBER HOW IT FELT WHEN YOUR WAS BROKEN. YOU'LL FIGHT WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND. YOU'LL CRY BECAUSE TIME IS PASSING TOO FAST, AND YOU'LL EVENTUALLY LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE. SO TAKE TOO MANY PICTURES. LAUGH TO MUCH AND LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT. BECAUSE EVERY SIXTY SECONDS YOU SPEND UPSET IS A MINUTE OF HAPPINESS YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK.
good morning, i am very sad today, one day, a few moment's life changes, all were having a great time, and i come to the pond to read DD's letter...
then i felt this darkness take place,almost the same words about pain was put into my partners letter who has left this life 4 years tomorrow.Then i heard icey's Cries like she was sitting right beside me. Some of the same Cries i cried to my partner.
DD if you have what you said for all of us at the pond, you would respond to icey's crys..i think you have that in you DD. I respect anyones choices in life if they want to move on but please respect iceys Cries to you..I feel your darkness, from childhood, (me too! ) i lived it DD, but i will not post it here because its not the time nor the place, but know this, i have lived in that darkness as a child and an adult..so i will not beg, but i will say if anyone here , that could move mountains if she could it would be moon beammmm iceeeeeeyyyy..
sending you peace,light,love,hope and hugs
this picture is called hope
I didn't mean for any of you to think i blame any of this on you. And I am sorry I worried you Icey, I passed out shortly after my post, which is why I didn't respond. I didn't meant to hurt any of you, yesterday was the worst day I have had in years, as if the universe decided to have everything culminate into one really Godawful day. Everything fell apart.....everything. I don't want you to think I have given up on life, I have 2 beautiful sons to care for, so my life will go on, it will simply be a solitary one. I no longer believe in a true romantic love, it is dead. I have my love for my children, family and friends, that will be enough. Thank you all once more, and bless you all.
Home from work, it's nearly 1 am and I find my two beautiful sisters here sharing their gorgeous selves.
Hi My Journey & Gem,
I just love what both of you have said here ... you are the very best of what spirit manifest in the human is all about! LOVE it!
Now ... awwwwwwwwww you two. You have spoken such dear words about me (I am blushing) and I thank you sincerely for them. As you could tell, I was beside myself. I couldn't believe what I was reading in DD's words and then, this feeling moved to the pit of my stomach and I wanted to throw up in fear actually. That 'oh god something's very wrong' stayed with me for a very long time. It was horrible. Even now, my stomach turns ... something just feels wrong.
You were right, Gem ... it is one of the biggest, most revealing pieces he has ever written and I am grateful that he did because he has at least released some of what has been inside him festering away. Healthy. And yes, it is his choice to walk away from here and yes, I am very sad about that. As much as he doesn't think so, he will be missed dearly round here ... it is a very beautiful thing to just add a verse or two of the soul. However, I do believe that I need to respect his desire for privacy now but I am mostly sad that he hurt me (very ego of me I know) by letting me stay in fear ... fear for him mind you ... not me. I spent a few moments on that one.
Anyhoo ... if you are still reading DD ... hope you feel better in the dark.
You're a funny lady Gemmy ... make me laugh a lot! Bless you! You can have all the pool boys you like, did you see that honey on the other page??? That's all the man I want darl! Just HIM! And, it's his birthday tomorrow (5th) ... and, my Dad's ... he would have been 76 tomorrow ... wow huh? He's been gone sooooo long now. And ... it's also a sad memory and day for our gorgeous one My Journey! I am wishing you some peace my dearest friend in your sorrow and I hope that you find more of the loving, happy memories filling your day than even before. I will be thinking of you a lot and sending you angel hugs galore My Journey. Be at peace beautiful one. Love to you.
The pond certainly got a good stirring up today huh? At least we got to have some good giggles Gem ... some mighty fine giggles.
Hoping you both have a peace-filled, loving day where the sun does shine upon you both and bring you inner joy.
Will catch up with you tomorrow ladies ... I soooooooo need to sleep.
Love you Gem!
Love you My Journey!
Love all my sisters of soul!
And YOU Mr. Darkly Dreaming ... even YOU!
Icey Moonbeams x x x
DD ... well ... you must've been writing as I was! Weird huh? I do thank you, most sincerely, for at least telling us you are ok. I was hel*l worried about you ... still are but that's just me. My tears of fear today were very real but at least I know you are not walking away permanently ... if I felt like this imagine how your dear little boys would feel? Relieved you aren't thinking along those lines. You know ... I even went to Admin here and begged them to give me your email address. Did you know that? So scared was I for you that I did that!
You do not believe in love ... well, ok? But, you have been blessed with true love here at the pond. You have been embraced and held and made to feel as special as you are. THAT is real darling ... very real. It IS the stuff of dreams and it does craete happily ever after's. But, if you wish to give up, I shall respect that ... never stop loving you ... but, respect it.
I am sorry my light burned you ... I thought that was realllllly sad and I cried a lot about that. Neevr meant to harm you so deeply.
I also know your childhood was tough ... just never said it ... sometimes, it's best to leave well alone until the time is right. Lessons ... life lessons ... these are the experiences the soul must have in order to put the spiritual puzzle back together. For you, it has been all relationships (& some minor others) and that sucks ... boy how that sucks. I do not pretend to understand the depth of your emotions on this and nor do I belittle it ... I just know what awaits you and, maybe now that you have made this kind of very permanent decision ... you may just get it.
Even if you never post here again, I hope, with all my heart, that you will continue to read. One day, when the sun shines into your corner, please let us know how you are. Please do not leave and forget about us and all you have experienced here ... take it with you like a teddy bear, ok?
Blessings and Peace and Love Mr. Pisces,
DD,IF I WASN'T SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY TO SEE YOU, HEAR YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS..I WOULD JUST.......................OH OK
I'LL JUST GIVE YOU THE BIGGGGGGGGGGGGEST HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
YOUR TWO SON'S OMG THANK YOU DD, YOU MUST BE THE GREATEST DADDY TO THEM...THEY ARE SOOOOOO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU DD...AND SO AM I...
YOU HAVE GIVEN ME A BEAUTIFUL GIFT TODAY FOR THAT, I THANK YOU,TRULY FROM MY HEART
WISHING YOU SO MUCH LOVE THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN...
SO MUCH PEACE THAT YOU DESERVE,SO MUCH LIGHT THAT SURROUNDS YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SONS,MAY YOUR LAUGHTER CONTINUE ALWAYS WITH YOUR CHILDREN, AND OF COURSE LOVE
OK ... it's 2 in the morning now so I have to get thee to beeeeeeed!!!!!
May the love I have for ALL of YOU beam like the moon in your windows at night.
I made soooooooooo many typo's I'm actually embarrassed ... lol ... going now!
Good-night my sweet princesses and prince. x
Fear not, I haven't lost it entirely yet ... lol ,,, my post didn't come up soooooooooooooo, hello???? And then ... there it was.
God I'm tired ... I'm babbling like a lunatic now.
Night! Kissies x