The Enchanted Pond
Happy Day Bloom,
I am listening to 'Bad Romance' as performed by the cast of Glee (we are HUGE Gleeks in this house ... all of us, hubby, kids and myself, just watched every episode of Season 1 TWICE these holidays ... doing marathon sessions, sometimes till 2AM!!!!!!!!! T'was Fabulous!) as I type this ... and, in many ways, it is where all of my previous posts to you were going.
Now ... let me clarify this because this sounds so wrong and it isn't supposed to be ... and not really about you either! Mostly me. Guess that's why I was fighting the voice within. I'll begin with a look back at why this thread on soul mates ever started ... my quest to understand how people know whom they should be with. If you have read the early years (Soul Mates 1 & 2), you will know of my heart splitting for two people ... one who gives me the romance, the spark, the intellectual stimulation, the sheer passion of expression and the one I married ... who gives me stability, responsibility, trust, great passion and lots of love, too. Radically different beings ... one's Canadian, the other, an Aussie ... one's an intellect, the other not ... one's deeply physical, the other not so much, one thoughtful, the other not so much ... one who takes my breath away and one whom I look at differently. Ironically, the other guy is a Gemini ... duality huh?
I was having a battle with Spirit not because I didn't like what I was hearing, but more because I didn't want to see myself that clearly, either. And, it certainly wasn't you in any way Bloom ... heck no ... was all me. Even my words above make me sound like I married the wrong man, don't they? But, that's not really the truth. I am married to the right man. I just LONG for the other stuff. In one of my posts, I wrote that many men have reduced me to tears through some of the things they have given, shown, gifted me with ... sometimes, things that even I didn't realize were important to me, actually are. You see, Spirit wants me to highlight this dichotomy in you, too ... your relationships are very similar to mine in that you long for things from the one being that just can't do that either. Hence, the attraction, almost obsession in some ways, with the Piscean. Spirit says that two souls sit here, both wishing upon the same stars but have yet to see that the light shines from where they are first and foremost. Spirit reminds me, and hence, you ... that what is right for us, is already surrounding us. It is suggested that the more we open in truth, the more we shall see that which we have always wanted, is before us. Seeing as I'm baring all now, I'll also say that ... I am quite a closed book. I have learnt, through childhood (as did most of us when it comes to issues) to not say what is most important to me for fear of it being ridiculed etc; My sense of self, then, has become entwined in silence. The more difficult our lives become, the quieter I become. When I said I was hermetic, I meant that most sincerely. I keep very much to myself; especially my deepest inner life. You, too. Hence, establishing the choice I extended to you in my earlier posts. Spirit wants me to look at my expectations too and I just didn't want to ... I have enough going on in my life without adding more development to it, too. Lordy! But, life ... from spirit's side, is about NEED, not want and the soul can only be expressed when need is ever present. It is when we learn the most, grow the most and step into our next selves.
You said I had come through these last few months well ... oh my beautiful Bloom ... no I haven't. I have just been trying to put myself aside so that others can appreciate what joy and love I find within them. This is honest Icey here ... life here is hard, there is much we are yet to go through and our challenge has only begun. I NEEDED to come back here so that gorgeous beings of light like you, Gem, My Journey, Lady Laie, Sister Sista Queenie QuenKath, Sunshine and Mr. Pisces can send me the messages I needed to have, the rose coloured glasses & wishful thinking coming off times and a means for me to move forward because I have understood something NEW about myself that I didn't hold the key to before. Life here is h e l l but we keep going, don't we? I keep holding the thought that it too shall pass for some days, that's all I've got ... my being is empty otherwise. Within the enchanted waters of this sacred pond, I don't bring my hardships ... or at least I try so hard not to. This is my soul's space ... not my head's; that gets more than enough time and attention. No, in here ... my priority is to GIVE and to SERVE because my soul takes flight amongst you all. You are all my greatest delights, the wind beneath my wings, the light in the darkness. In here, I am me. Really me. Minus the baggage! LOL I connect with such amazing souls in this realm and NOTHING is more important to me than that ... holding the souls of loved ones close. No my sweet friend, I am not fine but I will be ... wink, wink, lol.
Now, seeing as this post sure has taken a turn or two ... rofl ... I did want to say how wonderful it is that your daughter's wedding plans have come along so preciously ... it is filling you with joy. We can feel it. We included both sets of parents on our invitations too. Not sure why now ... respect I guess? We planned our entire wedding ourselves and paid for it ourselves, too. If I had time to do over again ... well ... I would get married at midnight, in the heart of a forest, I would still wear white but only because it's my favourite colour and not because of tradition. I would not carry flowers but wear them in my hair and around my dress. There would need to be a full moon because I don't see well in the dark (true story ) and there would only be me, my man, my best friend and her now hubby (whom we introduced as he was a friend of my hubby's). That's it! I would need music sooooo ... a violin and a harp. Bare feet to feel the Earth and our rings would be formed like a chain of leaves ... and sparkle in silver like the moon. I am making myself cry now so, I shall stop. I just lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrv that you are enjoying this time. I can feel how sacred this is for you.
So, enough of my sentimental journey because there is more mental than sent lol lol lol and, as I am my least favourite subject in life, that is enough of me. I am so honoured Bloom that you listen to me and my weird ways. It is the loveliest compliment because it is given by the loveliest of souls.
Perhaps our journeys have been entwined at this very cross-roads for a purpose? My water lillies will soon be joined by another one ... I have convinced (almost) my hubby to buy a 3rd ... a hot pink or red one this time. Laughed for all eternity over the Koi proposal. He has been suggesting that for some time now. Do you know how long they live for????????????? We already have our galah that will be willed down to one of the kids, not adding a 100 year old koi to that too. Please, don't encourage my hubby's wild thinking with your wild thinking hee hee hee hee lol rofl!!!!!!!! They are peaceful fishies but, I have all the fishies I need ... 5 - one called Jasper (named after Jasper in the Rockies) and his no name tribe!
I love you so dearly Bloom. You are a VERY special soul. Celebrate the magick of you ok ... start sharing what your big loves are with your man ... bring him back from where he's gone.
Deep appreciation for who you are!
Icey Moonbeams x x x
Nearly time for me to go to work so, whilst the music is playing ... I shall hold you all in my circle of life and wish you the truest JOY that your soul can have.
With love, peace and heart ...
Icey Moonbeam x x x
The Enchantress ... Rassoulli
Oh, lovely picture Icey...thank you for posting it! I will think about what you have written...thank you for your response from your deepest place. I know that where you live is a barren place in this season...and I will not visualize any koi there. I don't have any as I feel that I am not good with fish (HAHAHA, the true pisces, right??) and don't want to have them and then have them die on me. However, I do eat fish (although no meat), so I ask you, where is the LOGIK in all of that, I do not know?!?
I LOVED to hear about your wedding re-do...why don't you celebrate an anniversary that way? I sounds so very magical and amazing!
For a while now, I have realized that I do have a need of my own to have special closeness to people. I feel that here with all the ponders, but I also feel it with some wonderful friends and also the Pisces man. I accept that about myself but have to learn NOT to let it drive me and my interactions. I accept that I do love the Picses man, but I don't really know why. I will reflect on what you have shared and see if I can come up with more understanding and awareness.
I do know that I have let that relationship interfere with my relationship with my hub, but I am going to accept that also and forgive myself. In many ways, that Piscean relationship has really opened me up emotionally and re-opened my life-long spiritual quest in a very beneficial way...so there is much to be thankful for in this journey over the past 5 years or so.
However, you are right, that there is a relationship to be re-appreciated and re-awakened with my husband....and our daughter's wedding is actually quite a good vehicle for that. In some ways, my husband, of course, is on his own journey. Since he recently retired, and has kind of been in a dormant period for about 6 months, partly due to health issues....he has done some deep thinking about what he wants to do, and it involves playing music. He is beginning to start that as well as doing a bit of reaching out to old friends (hence the ride through Vermont with our friends to look at leaves...). He is a "four" like you, so can get very hermetic...in fact, a LOT hermetic...so that is not often a good fit for me. So we are working our way through it...hard to adjust to someone so close who is on his own journey. But we have a lot of experience with it, so onward we go.
It's been amusing to have our adult daughter reflect on what she sees here at home before she launches off really into her own adult journey with her own beloved. She says that she thinks of us as a unit and that she sees that we hardly ever talk together. oy vey...the eyes of a child...
Wishing you a day of continued inner joy and knowing <3<3
Your Bloom xoxo
Gemmy, you are a beautiful soul! Hope that the band and the dancing were fun!
Hope it's a sunny day in your neck of the woods!! Of COURSE I will help you with whatever gardening questions that you may have, if I know the answer, lol!!
Hugs from Bloom xoxox
Yep, 27 degrees fahrenheit. Sure was a fast walk, I knew we wern't out of breath cause I could still see it in the air. But, as I have said, I'm a cold weather person so I love it, it's been in the low 20's in the morning and was going to the low 50's, but yesterday was in the high 40's. Once the snow hits, it will go below zero at times.
I did enjoy myslef, danced and had fun, but I guess it all changes when I get home and realize, fun is only fun when you have someone to share it with. I try to make all my little journey's out happy ones thou. I've met a lot of new people in the last couple of months, which is a total turn around for me, because, I'm not a people person. I would rather spend my time with the animals, so when the people time is over, I am actually relieved, I can only share just so much with people, and then I have to back off. Hard to handle all the emotional issues.
I read your post to Cactuss, as usual it is so true and beautiful. I am in her position with the love going to the wrong one, but I do know where she is coming from. Loyal to her mate, would never hurt him, will stand beside him right up to the end, and when he can't go any further, she will carry him. But her heart is somewhere else. In my case, he belongs to someone else, and I respect that fact, he is like bloom/cactuss, he will remain loyay and steadfast, will do what is expected of him, but his heart is somewhere else. And this is, so it seems, how the story goes. I guess I feel that neither cactuss nor I want it this way, it just happens, we can't fight the feelings that come over us, when the love is there we just have to learn to live with it and move on. In my case, my friend lives in another state, so it is easier to leave it as it is now. Talking. In Cactuss's case, it has to be so much harder to cope with. I really feel for her, I know the sadness in her is so real, and pretending doesn't make it go away, I on the other hand can go out and get away from it for awhile, she can't. I guess that's why I want so badly to meet someone else, to try to get my mind back where it belongs. I know that we know it's just not right, but again, being human, we can't help it.
Yep,the squirrels and chipmunks, I've been feeding them the tiny doggie biscuits, and they seem to love them, even the neighbor women has been buying bags of them and giving them to me to give the little critters on my walks, but haven't seen any rabbits in a long time now, everyone thinks it's because the coyotes are so much closer now.
You Icy, as I said before, are a beautiful soul, You don't judge, you try to help us all work thru our problems, you explain it and give it back to us to look at again and work it out. On my walks, I talk to you and have solved so much just talking it over, and over, and over. I'm afraid thou, that there are some things that we can't change or workout, so I guess we just grab our best hold and live with it, until it changes itself. I guess I"ve always been a little on the wild side, and a very private person, no one really knows me inside but one person now, and that's the wrong one. If it's really possible to know and figure out a gemini. You have your own problems, and you still take time to squeeze us in and listen and read and write to us. I for one, Thank-you, again and again. We all have found a home here in your enchanted pond.
You take care of you too dear friend,
Love, hugs and blessings
I took your message to mean that we are all right where we're supposed to be right now. And I certainly do agree with that. Sad times, happy times, sorrow, it's always going to be with us, but it's where we are all at, and we will stay until the next day comes, and we can be sure, one of those things will come with it.
I like Cactuss's idea of celebrating your anniversary in the forest, or re-newing your vows. I really like the moonbeam hotel
I do have a few books on flowers and plants, my husband was really into the yard stuff..We just never got a chance to do it here. I'll have to dig them out and see what grows best in this climate, and how to do it. But some of yours sound so exotic and exciting, would like to try that too. How is your weather where you are? Does it get as cold there as we get in Michigan? I lived in Virginia for a while and it was a very moderate climate, if they did get snow, it was just for a day or two, the temps would get low somethimes, but not like here, so it was much easier to grow the prettier flowers. I'll just have to wait and see, if and when the house sells, then I can start all over and learn that stuff too.
Hope you have a good week-end, smile and no one will really know what your thinking.
I love to fool people, makes me feel superior, LOL
Hugs and blessings
Yep, our stories are a lot a like, yours was the saddest thou that I have ever heard, mine was a natural thing that happens, but to go thru what you did, and to take my hand and lead me, well, it still amazes me. I guess loss is loss, no matter how it happens, but going on is the hardest part isn't it. I have a song that says "God only cries for the living, for they are left to carry on". But your an example that we can go on and we can find true happiness and I will follow you all the way thru and hope for the same thing for me. Your courage and strength, and mostly your sense of truth, I admire you so for what you are and what you have become. Yep, we've come a long way and we're still going . No one can stop us now. I pray for you happiness and peace, you deserve it friend.
Love, hugs and blessings, and have a good week-end
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You are doing so well with what you have, wow!! Out partying and being with people, Sistah Queenie Quenkath has nothing on you! I understand what you are saying though. I think that when I retire, I will feel more lonely...although I will have the time then to pursue my art more, which will be great! I know you say you are a private person, but then say you were wild in the past...whoo hoo, lots to choose from there. I wonder if there is an opportunity to volunteer somewhere in your area...would that be of any interest to you? You might be able to meet other people that way.
And PS to Icey...my children adore the TV show Glee as well. I think my younger daughter has the dvd's of the first season. She just showed us how to access on our tv cable system the free shows available that we can select, something like Tevo. Do you have that (Tevo) in Australia? Anyway, I'm sure I would like the show. It sounds so great that you have all been watching re-runs and marathons together as a family, sounds fun. And what is the gulah (sp?) you mentioned? Is it a bird?
My attention for tv shows is very limited though!! I am such a visual person that I find I can't get rid of many of the images....ever....that I see, and so I think I have become a little aversive to the 'tube'. Everyone else in my family is a big tv watcher, but I am a book and print person...I think partly because the processing pace is more under my control.
And to you both, I think I have said this before that my Piscen man is totally romantically unavailable to me for many reasons...age is a big one...and also his gender preference for a relationship plays a big role there, lol.
But Icey, you got it right about the compulsive go-to nature of the relationship on my part. I think his personal make-up is very different than mine, and he chooses to maintain the relationship with me for different reasons which are driven by his own needs for a friend. However, I do believe that he does learn from me and that I might have something very particular to teach him in this life. I am currently ok with that He does listen to me but seldom gives me much opportunity to voice my opinion, haha, how do you like that? I often have nearly a whole phone call where I say "Um-hmm", "Wow" and things like that!! He is more 'reporting in' I think as a way to stay close and share where he is in his day. But it is the kind of thing I would share with my husband, so I get that need to share.
I am pretty sure we have had past lives together, that is the only thing that makes sense to me about the intensity of my response to him. Not something he would be able to listen to with any understanding I think....the spooky woo-woo world is not something that he believes in! However, it is very nurturing to me!
As far as my husband, my biking has added something very different to our relationship. He has been very supportive and would like to join me a little bit, but needs the work up to it slowly after getting his doc's ok for it. It has been something that has taken over an intense part of my life, and has somewhat dissipated the intensity of my need to connect with Pisces man. It is a LOT healthier, hahaha!!
We had a great day yesterday. My two daughters and I drove out to the Boston area to work on getting my older daughter's "Maid of Honor" dress for her younger sister's wedding. I spent a lot of the time on the drive out (about 2 hours) talking about my cousins and their children and my parents and what I knew of their parents. Passing on the torch.
Then we stopped in to my younger daughter's future in-laws so she could say goodbye before she (hopefully) gets on her cruise ship in Europe at the end of this week. The three of us ate breakfast together, lunch together, and when we got home, we went out to dinner together with my husband. I think that I have never before eaten every meal out when I wasn't on vacation! To say that I am DISAPPOINTED that it is raining out right now is an understatement. I want to ride off those calories this morning, lol
Okay, this is a long post!! I hope you both have or are having a wonderful day!! Live each moment, right? I am really feeling that lately, for tomorrow we don't know...
Lots of hugs from Bloom xoxox
Looks as if you and I are the only ones dropping by the pond this morning, but I think where most are, it's night time.
I know what you mean by "off limits". which is O.K.,, Mine is off limits, but it's nice to feel like a woman again, alive and beautiful, maybe needed in some ways. I have no doubt that someone new could come along at any given time, and if it's the right one, it will happen. I will feel bad about having to leave him behind, and the conversations will be at a minimum, email service will be happy about this I'm sure. These attractions are so hard to explain, but they happen, I guess as long as we can maintain some sort of control over them, it's not as bad as it sounds.But as I told Icy, I think we're all where we are supposed to be right now, not sure why.
I'm not sure about the volunteer yet, have considered it so much, but I really have a hard time with the emotions issue. Have not much interest in working with adults, working with children or animals could produce some really emotion setbacks, not sure if I'm strong enought for it yet.
I am keeping pretty busy these days, going out a couple of times a week, and working on the yard, trying to get it done before winter. The rain has kept me from getting it done all at once. Rained again last night, just hope I get it done before the snow comes, from the looks of the weather maps, it's on it's way.
The wedding plans sound like they are going pretty smooth, keeping you busy, but you seem to be able to keep busy all the time anyway. I wished that I could go back to work sometimes, but then there is not much up here for anyone to do, let alone someone of my age right now.
When I say I was a little wild, I mean that I've "sowed my oats" so to speak, I like to have fun when I'm out and about, always have and always will. To me if I can't enjoy and have fun, then I don't do it. And to tell you the truth, I think QuenK and I might have a lot in common, she sounds like she is a very fun person. Wished she and I lived closer, I think we could laugh the time away, and take turnes making the jello shots.
Your right Cactuss, Tomorrow is promised to no one.Yesterday is gone, so all we have is today. Some of our todays are great, and some are not so great, some are so lonely, they seem to eat you alive. You ride and I walk, and I talk to the voice that talks to me, as you do, and we find comfort in our solitude.
Enjoy the rest of your week-end,
Hugs and blessings
Thanks Gem! Yes, yard work has a way of taking our time. Also, I am not as energetic as I used to be...I work really hard one day and then poof, the next day I seem to pay for it!! So trying to do 'some' each day is good for me.
I hear you on the volunteering....well, you sound busy anyway, I was just thinking of it as a way to be with people. I guess that is more about me...being in a club or bar isn't something I am used to, so volunteering in a library would probably do it for me, LOL!!
Enjoy your walk!
Love from Bloom
HI EVERYONE, I HOPE EVERYONE IS HEALTHY AND HAPPY...BLOOM AND GEM, I JUST LOVE YOUR CONVERSATIONS HEHE...YOU TWO HAVE ALLOT IN COMMON:) GEM CAN RUN BEHIND YOU WHILE YOU ARE ON THE BIKE...HEHE
OH GEM, YOU AND QUEEN QQQQQQQQQQQ...I THINK I WOULD PAY JUST TO COME AND SIT NEXT TO YOU BOTH HEHE!
SAG MAN HAS BEEN VERY ILL, FIRST MY LITTLE GIRL..SHES JUST ABOUT BACK TO HER PUBERTY SELF AGAIN HAHA..SAG IS JUST ABOUT THERE ALSO THIS NURSE HAS HUNG UP HER HEALING...AND MY KITCHEN IS NOW CLOSED!
SAGS BEEN WITH US FOR 4 DAYS NOW..WE HAVE BEEN A HAPPY FAMILY OF THREE, ITS FUNNY TO SEE MY LITTLE GIRL WATCHING CARTOONS WITH HIM AND IT ALSO WARMS MY HEART..A SAG A PISCES AND A LEO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
TODAY I KNOW EVERYONE IS ON THE MEND...ITS MOMMA,ITS SHATZ,ITS MAMA,ITS SHATZ" MEANING ME OF COURSE...
LIFE IS REALLY GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW:)
I'M READING "THE SECRET" WOW AMAZING READ," NOT EVEN HALF WAY THROUGH IT AND THE BENNI FITS I'M FEELING ARE PRETTY POWERFUL,"BOOSTING MY SPIRIT IN WAYS I ONLY IMAGINED"
TAKE CARE ALL YOU ENCHANTED ANGELS, SENDING LOTS OF HUGS,LOVE,LIGHT,HOPE,PEACE AND LAUGHTER YOUR WAY....
LADY LAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,JUST LOVED,LOVED YOUR PIC...I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO CAMP IN THE BACK YARD HEHE...HUGS TO YOU....MOJO SIESTA
You took the words right out of my mouth, MYJourney! Laie, What a beautiful view !!!I want your backyard!!!! That would be a great place to just meditate and watch the wildlife!!! Don't think i want to cut the grass, but WOW!!
Everyone, Hello from me! I am still trying to finish school work before tonight. My eyes are so tired I am seeing vertical double vision!! This is nuts!! By the time i get my degree, i will be BLIND!!!!
here's a cute coupla pics of my little angels, Logan and Lauren:
Did some promo work for a local fantasy convention at the zoo, during their trick r treat celebration last night, I love the looks on childrens faces when they meet me, so awesome! To them there is no doubt in their mind that they have met Batman.
ok, well I tried to post a pic, but whatever
Happy to see you here, Well, just try making it smaller and trying again. I have to shrink mine always before sending them, this site is real icky-picky.
I would have loved to see you around the kids.........