Is is my destiny to always feel lonely?
Ive always felt alone since i was very young. As a child I endured many years of every kind of pain imaginable, yet when the authorities placed me into a care home under the child protection register,the whole of my family eventually turned their backs on me as if it was all my fault. Ive tried very hard to make a decent life for myself after i went off the rails when first going into care. I work hard and stay out of trouble and do every thing in my power to steer my son in the right direction. Iv always had to fight my own corner, but aged 13 and many miles away from everything i had ever known-the fight got so much harder. I dont feel as though im the kind of person thats easy to fool or walk all over and am a fairly sociable person but the feeling of lonlieness is always there. I even found the love of my life- but after 4yrs together he decided he wanted out yet didnt have a reason why. I know there was no other girl involved and do not think he had cheated on me so when he walked away from me it truly broke my heart. I cannot imagine my life without him but now we have agreed to see if we can sort things out, im not sure i want to. Im so desperatly confused. I am well aware that my caution is down to not feeling I cannot put myself through the heartache all over again-it would destroy me for sure...yet I do love this man and dont want to loose him for good. Maybe its my fate to be a loner,but I dont want to live like this anymore. Theres only so much a person can take and Im feeling as though im close to my limits. Oh I dont know,.. maybe its just me being an idiot or a drama queen. I just wish at times like this i had some kind of support network around me. Please dont think im after pity or sympathy, I just need a little bit of guidance and and a kind word from someone - anyone? Nuff respect. xxx
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