Brian Tristan - question for you



  • Dnnmre,

    Typically letting things lay is the best thing. In this case though, if you were to sit back and let him bleed this, retired I suppose, woman of her money, that would not have been a caring thing to do. You did not tell her because you wanted her to dump him, as much as you do not want to see him suck another person's finances dry, and have them put in the situation you are in now. Guilt is not always associated with bad deeds, sometime when we punish a child there is guilt you know.

    From this point forward there is your own finances to get untangled from his finances for you to worry about, so you should not be so concerned with him so much anymore.



  • Cathylee,

    Will this answer address the thread you started for me also? Need to know that.

    You job will improve, but you can look at other jobs within the same company also. I also see no harm in looking around for a better job. The industry you are in is going nowhere, and although there are fluctuations with in that industry, you will always have pretty decent job security.

    You sons will move out eventually yes, but if you try to force it it will happen much slower, and they may come back. Let their leaving the nest happen on it's own, do not push them. Better for everybody all the way around. Also, on the home front, you can get more stability, and a happier home life if you just let things alone. Stubborn mules will get more stubborn if prodded, and you will get what you want if you leave things alone actually, which is interesting. Instead of stirring the pot, leave it on slow cook and go enjoy whatever, yard work, the sights, and art opening, a play, whatever interests you.

    Hi Brian Tristan. I started a thread asking you for a raeding but maybe you never saw it. But at any rate, if you don't mind me jumping into this thread., what do you see coming up foe mr on my home and job front? I am hoping my son Jeremy dob 2/16/77 will finally meet someone and get a place of his own and my other son Allen 8/25/79 will star getting to see his little girl more often, maybe even spend the night with us. And will my job improve or do I need to look for something else? Thanks so much and by the way the song you picked for me was perfect.



  • Thanks Brian. That will answer both threads. I keep hoping My son will meet someone but I think he is pretty scarred from his fist marriage. Do you see him meeting someone nice soon?

    Thanks so much.



  • Wheelofortune,

    I did see it, and now I finally got to it. The Expat guy does have "hangers on" yup, yup. It is important to understand that some men have a lot of women as friends and acquaintances, as there are women with a lot of men as friends and acquaintances. Here is the thing about this, the question is, is he sleeping with any of them. A good sign of this is if the group changes, like one goes away and is replaced by another, like a revolving door. The problem in figuring this out is when you have an attraction, it is hard to separate the feeling you have that will exhibit some form of jealousy in analyzing it; it is best done from a distance. Flirtation can be harmless, as it makes some people feel alive, and you are the one who would actually get the advantage if it was you he was coming home to. The whole this to figure out if it is just flirtatious fun, or something more serious. The fireworks are fun, but you need to figure out if he can be a committed person, otherwise the fireworks can shoot of in the wrong direction and you can get burned. Deception, things unsaid, and downright lies, can all be deal breakers.

    Doctor buddy is a good friend, and you could build something very nice on that, beyond friendship. Fireworks can be made within a friendship, with less of a likelihood of getting burned. The question is can that attraction happen over time, and that you need to figure out also. It would be patently unfair to go beyond friendship to see, as you can maintain the friendship and see if anything like that develops.

    Neither situation is clear cut. If Expat guy is George Clooney who is never gonna settle down, then no need to waste your time. If he is loyal but just likes his female companionship, and you can trust him, then all is good. He can go either way.

    Doctor Bud is great, but without the fireworks, you would only be there till another fireworks show came along. If you can make the relationship deeper, and get some chemistry going, it will work fine. The question is, will you ever just want to "jump his bones", will you ever have a decent level of basic animal attraction there? You can figure that out better than I can, as it is your heart, mind, and libido.



  • Summerbutterfly,

    It is the nature of your relationship that is confusing. I would look through the topics and find TheCaptain's thread on soulmates, and the different types. He is meant to be in your life, but I am as unclear on that also. You however, I think can actually figure this one out better than anyone. You just need to figure out his soulmate connection to you. Also, TheCaptain has a thread that she gives you compatibility (romance, marriage, friends, business) based on your birthdate, ask her to do one of those for you too.



  • Cathylee,

    Will he meet someone? Yes. Can his mother make things happen much slower? You can. You should just back off from all the men in your life right now, they all need space. Nagging, and pushing annoys you, and make them more stubborn. They will all get there. In the meantime occupy yourself, have some fun and do fun things. Worrying about them or the job is not doing anything for you except exactly what you do not want. So, stop it. LOL



  • Helbells,

    You over think, especially at crossroads. The answer is, the direction that looks good to you as you first look at the choices, that is the direction. You intuitively know where you are suppose to go, and you just come to a halt, and then freeze and stand there and "think". You do not need to do this as you are smart and absorb lots of information going down the road, and when you come to a crossroads actually know which way to go. Just look, and take the road you know is the one. Your depressed state is from stopping, sitting there and stressing over the options, just act, and that will go away. You can be quite patient actually, you just use it all up sitting in idle at crossroads.

    Go back and figure out what your first choice was, you gut feeling you first got, and get moving. It is not hard, unless you start to think and feel for a choice, and that is no good for you. You have a good internal compass, follow it.



  • That is all for today, and probably till Thursday the 20th. Hope it helped.



  • Brin, I typed her an apploguy letter telitng her know how sorry I was, also telling her that if a relationship whether it be platonic or romantic is based on lies then the whole realtionship was a lie. laso that he keeps coming to me when he either fights or breaks up with a person he comes to me and it has to stop. in order for me to go on with my life. I felt so much better I slept like a baby



  • Well he called telling me I m going to jail. I m laughing what is he going to tell them? Calling me every name in the book and he is no longer going to talk to me. HE MADE IS BED NOW HE CAN LIE IN IT



  • Brian, just found out that this doctor you told me about is also a chiropractor, which I probably do need. Thanks for the reading earlier.

    Toni



  • Thanks BrianTristan! That's good advice and you're right... I've been doing it for years. For some reason haven't been able to stop yet. Will keep trying:) Thanks a lot! x



  • Dnnmre,

    Good, now work on your own stuff. He will not leave you alone, but he will not be asking for anything for a while.

    Tonib3741,

    You are welcome. You want someone who does something similar to that doctor, and his office should be able to refer you to someone in your area.

    Helbells,

    Your gut instinct is fantastic, when you look at something, your first choice is best. Once you get to thinking about it, then everything goes straight down the tubes.

    Everyone,

    Be back defiantly by Thursday



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  • ok Brian he called me telling me I can go " F" myself and so can my son He wants nothing to do with me or my son anymore. Why would he call to tell me wouldn't he just not bother?



  • Ok Brian. I try not to bug them too much. I guess I just figured they would both be out of the housr by now. I guess I make thier lives pretty easy so they don't need to move out. I just need to relax a little an dlet things be. Maybe I shpuld go on strike. LOL



  • Where is my marriage headed? 9/13/1973 and 2/8/1966



  • I will be indisposed until probably Thursday the 20th. So hang tight.

    Dnnmre,

    Because he is mad and wants to express that. You will not react the way he wants, so he will keep calling. Just keep on what you are doing.

    Cathylee,

    Moms nag, that is how boys do not grow up living in cardboard boxes, eating food out of a can. This is true. When they are adults though, just like with your husband, nagging does nothing but annoys you and annoys them, it serves no purpose. They will leave the nest, do not force the issue, but if you want some help around the house that is legit. However Cathy, see your stove, see how it is clean and not broken, see your washer and dryer, so how you just use them and they work? Be careful what you ask the three Peter Pans to do for you, you may make your own life more difficult if you are not careful. You need to turn that energy around and improve yourself, however it is you want to, and then the 3 Stooges will begin to improve also. Pretty weird, but that is how this one is going to work.

    Spatbrat,

    Marriage will be okay, even though it will look like it will not. Stuff to work through. Couples counseling will get you two where you want to be much quicker, so see if he won't go. If he won't, then go by yourself, he will join you there eventually.



  • Hi BT,

    Could you please give me love reading :

    23/09/1990 and 03/10/1989

    Roop...



  • What is he getting out of this? Is this his way of trying to get back at me ? To show he can get others? or better yet trying to get back togeher with me? I have never flaunted anyone in his face? What is he trying to prove? Why is he acting this way? Aren't Ex"s suppose to be in the past thats why they call them exes? Please amswer all my questions