Need Some Advice Here!
Hi I am new here...I am a Gemini and recently got involved with a Cancer Male....I have NOT felt this way about anyone in a long time...that spark.....We first started out talking....hanging out....this was about 3 months.....then it became intimate....the sex was mindblowing!!!! But he tends to play games, moody...blame things on me.....and gets mad at me if I question him or ask anything....He only calls me when he feels like.....returns texts when he feels like it...and god forbid I dont answer his calls or texts right away....I just dont know what to do....he dated this girl for 3 years and broke up over 5 years ago...and he told me he will never let himself get hurt like that again....so me like a dumb girl...try so hard to make him realize I am NOT that girl...I would do anything for him that is how crazy I am about him...rub his back, cook for him whatever he wants.....I just feel like I am being used....here are 3 recent things that happened
1. We were hanging out one night, we had sex and as soon as he was done was texting his friend all night...like I was not even there.
2. Invited me to go somewhere with him...never called...so I played it cool, I acted like I was not mad and I got the "I didnt have cell phone service"
3. I am going through a marriage seperation which is tough I know....I texted him this past Sunday asking him "How are You"...I got no response.....then I called a hour later and got the "FU button dumped into voicemail"
So a girl can only take so much I was fuming...I thought screw this!!!!!! so I didnt call again or text...the I get a nasty text from him on Monday "What did you get rid of me?? You with a another guy?? You dont call anymore"...so now I am really mad...I never responded cause it would just be a fight, he KNOWS I am not with anyone, its the head games I cant stand, so he called me Tuesday but never left a message...I never called back and neither did he....I am just heartbroken give it to me straight here....all my friends tell me to move on, I am just another notch in his belt...
YellowYellow last edited by
ugh gems are cool for awhile...
what do you mean yellowyellow....
Laie4 last edited by
What you are experiencing with this guy seems to be the norm. You're getting the whole push -me-pull me thing; it won't change. Its making you crazy already after just a few months. Sorry.
Let the wind take you elsewhere, gem. Be prepared, the moment you disappear, if he hasn't found another interest, he may pursue. Keep walking and don't let his sweetness pull you back.
Your friends have your back : ) Laie
AquaBubbles last edited by
This guy is more than just cautious; he has a wall around his heart and emotions. Someone that turns away from you after s-x does not want intimacy; they just want the s-x. He “doesn’t want to get hurt like that again”, so he doesn’t allow anything to get any deeper such as post play which can be the most intimate stage of s-x because it’s not about satisfying any physical urges. Going somewhere, doing things together is a couple’s thing to do; it develops shared experiences and memories. Again, it’s about intimacy and building of a relationship. He’s still carrying around his anger and bitterness and can’t or won’t see past it to realize what he has in front of him, you. It’s all about him right now. I don’t think this is the norm, I think he has just shut down.
Thanks for all your advice....yes I still have not heard from him at all, it will be a week tomorrow...no texts, phone calls...nothing...I just need to walk away your right....and put my energy towards someone who appreciates it....I guess I was looking for that glimmer of hope...if he cared about me he would have called or something...so I guess I found out what I really meant to him...NOTHING!!! just sad...and heartbroken....
Laie4 last edited by
I can understand your feelings and have seen behavior like his before which is why I said 'norm'.
Thing is, you can choose to particpate and keep giving with nothing in return, but heartache Or walk. Don't be hard on yourself .... give some loving energy to yourself first, k?
Heal from your marriage and then find someone who gives back to you respectfully.
Thank Laie4...I think I have enough heartache over this one...maybe I am vunerable at this point and need to heal your right...but I cant keep giving and get nothing back....I guess I did the right thing by not responding to his inconsiderate text about me "being with someone else"...I jus cant fight for it anymore....its his way or no way....he sees only his views on things and never anyone elses...I am a convenience to him only..."when he wants me".....so it's been a week since we talked....I gotta walk or your right...I will get even more hurt than I already am...
twinsoul last edited by
Hi there. look at his behavior. He is a spoiled child. This is not the man you want. Dont even consider him. He is irresponsible. he treats women like objects. His behavior has nothing to do with you or who you are. Please dont be one of his women. Pawn him off on someone you dont like.
You deserve someone stable, caring, loving and warm. Someone who is interested in you, and what you have to say. He is treating you like a full service gas station. A little more self respect is in order here dear.
Someone wonderful will be yours for life. You will meet this person in about three years. Party, have a great time until then. No more broken hearts for you. Haven't you had enough yet.
OMG!!! twinsoul...that is exactly was his friend said he is a spoiled brat....I should of realized considering his age, and he is still living home with mommy....he makes tons of excuses "why" he lives homes.....yeah I do deserve a stable, loving relationship...and quite honestly you hit the nail on the head I do feel like a full service gas station.....I just hope I don't run into him anywhere...that is when I will get "weak" ......
twinsoul last edited by
I understand weak. But why would you want to give the gift of yourself to such a ####? When you see him say YUCK! If here was not attractive would you like him. He is a YUCK.