Hope somebody can enlighten me.



  • OK, theres some length here but I'll try to summarize best I can. I'm 22 about to be 23 in 2 months, and my current ex girlfriend will be 21 next month in January. From December 24th until October 16th (she told me the date) we have been going out, close to 3 years. We fell in love with eachother very quickly, we were inseparable, we both never felt more comfortable with anybody, including our best friends, and we were also each others best friends. We did everything together, loved the same things, absolutly adored each other, talked seriously about marriage, everything. Now for some background: before now, we've broken up twice before. The first time we kept fighting because of how she acted with this girl she started hanging out with, I got really jealous of it and we fought often, and broke up, but about a month and a half later she came back. About a year later again we kept fighting for the same little reasons (nothing ever serious like cheating ever happened) and again broke up, only for her to come back to me a month and a half later. Now after that she made a big change, she became such a good person to me, did everything, based her entire life around me, just naturally, i never asked her to. But recently I lost a very important job, I owe alot of money for college, and I dont know where to find another good job. Times have been very difficult and I felt my ex was too smothering, and I told her I wanted time alone. She took this very hard and kept trying to beg me to come back and "we can work it out." I always felt we would return to eachother, but it kept pushing me away by her begging. We started seeing eachother again after a couple weeks, but I kept getting the impression she was becoming who she was in the beginning (somewhat impressionable by friends). So again I told her I needed time, I also told her I slept with this girl during our break up and she got really upset (it was a mistake I regret deeply). And so ultimatly now, as of a week ago, she has a boyfriend. I'm crushed and told her how I feel about her and how we could fix things, and she told me she couldnt chase me anymore because she didnt think I would want to be with her again, and if I did I would change my mind again. This is just so hard, here we were meaning EVERYTHING to each other, we thought we were each others soulmates' and we had true love. And after almost 3 years she's with somebody else. I explained I only needed time and that I love her and would try and fix what needed to be fixed and she just kept telling me she didnt know. Now where it gets confusing, even though this was a week ago, I had flowers sent to her job which she always wanted, and I wrote her a love letter about how I really feel, and she texted me back saying "I love you too." I kept texting her telling her not to leave me and I could make things better (I havent been the best boyfriend to her in awhile) and she told me to come to her house and tell her how I feel to her face like a man. I did and she cried and told me she just didnt know and was worried I will change my mind about her, and her boyfriend isnt me, and she loves and misses me, and when I was getting ready to leave she said she didnt want me to go. We hugged and I cried and she kissed my neck and said "i'll be back." This happened last Tuesday night, and I kept trying to talk to her and she kept saying she doesnt know etc, Friday for fun I sent her a pix message of a taco bell sauce packet that says "will you marry me?" and she said "wheres my ring then." I also recorded myself singing and playing guitar of this love song called Valentine we both liked, and left it at her house this Monday night, with 3 notes shes written me about how much I mean to her, and since then she hasnt said anything to me. I get the feeling her and her boyfriend are becoming close and she's completely getting over me. Im not going to contacting her, because I know it pushes them away, but I'm having a hard time dealing with this, I love her and I know she REALLY loved me, and it felt so right that we were really meant for each other, and I'm hoping we still are and this is just a bump in the road. I apologize for this being so long, but the background info seemed necessary and I could really use some enlightenment in our relationship and if I could ever have a chance with her again, since she's come back twice before. And on that note, this was the first breakup we had when she had an actual boyfriend, the second time she was talking to this other kid, but stopped when we started talking again. Sorry again for the length, and hopefully I can get some good news, I'm trying to move on, but really dont want anybody but her, so the moving on part I already know. I'm a pisces and she's an aquarius. Thank you.



  • I feel as though you are correct ,in feeling she is getting closer to the other guy. I feel as though she is keeping you on hold just in case it does'nt work out with him. I know you think she is the one, ... but maybe god has other plans for you ,and, for her, that's why your not together at this moment. You are both very, very young and still have a lot to learn in your journey of life so try and take one day at a time, and you never know what god will be put in front of you. Keep your heart open to all life has to offer. Be patient with yourself and be happy each and every day, follow your instincts, and intuition. Being a pisces you should be good at that.



  • Hi, Things are going to go crazy in life. Seems like your friend was a constant in your life. You didn't mention anything "major" like drugs, alcohol, partying etc. Also, YOU WERE jealous and she tried to change for you. A lot of people wouldn't go that far. She is not a mind-reader. She probably felt like it would be best to leave you alone. I don't doubt that she loves you. A test of any friendship is whether or not "friends" stay friends during hardships. She can't be around for only the good times. She probably was hurting quite a bit when you brushed her off. She was listening though. I think I would worry about her if she wasn't listening. My advice to people is if the other person wants out, then listen.


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