• Ok, finally, have been trying to get on here for some time tonight, having issues at log in. Maybe they got it fixed. It does seem quiet. Starting to wonder if all my pals are ok. As always counting you all among what I am thankful for today. Had a good time with my brother today, got to chat up the nephew tonight, the girls went to the beach, overall it was a pretty good day. Zep, sorry to hear of your flooring / flood issues but sounds like you are coming on a positive note in the end. Some things really do happen for a reason. No luck with the numbers for me, someone in OH won the big drawing. Guess we'll have to wait until it climbs again. Thankful anyway, had a good day, got an important bill paid, looks like admin resolved my log in issue. Things are definitely looking up. Have a good night everyone.

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  • Good Morning/Evening Ladies, I was so busy yesterday didn't get a minute to breathe!

  • Zephire you are always full of such wisdom, thanks. I am so very glad your brother got in touch with you. Isn't it a great feeling? My brothers are so much older than I am that for many years we saw each other on the holidays or once in awhile on a weekend or other occasion otherwise they had their own lives. But we bonded when I was very small and those little memories come out now and again and we all just smile and laugh. My oldest brother taught me how to play black jack when I was about 7, he asked if I wanted to learn the game, I said sure, he said "go get your money." Lesson taught, never play with brother unless you are willing to lose your money. LOL But we remember it fondly. He's a good guy, he'd give you the shirt off his back and stick up for you, he's always there when you need him. My other brother and I share these gifts, bounce our dreams off one another, have gems/rocks, chess etc in common. We've helped one another heal me from the fire and him from a divorce. While he was in the army, for my 6th birthday he gave me his dog, the family dog but a gift nonetheless it meant so much to me, then four years later he traded me a new basketball for that same dog. That part of the story still stings a bit, but we laugh about that too. We don't have the same memories they share with each other rough housing around as boys do, being close, doing the same things. But they are a blessing to me like no other I've ever known. We've always lived in fairly close proximity and yet traveled paths of our own but somehow in the settling of the dust, from tragedy or just a rough day we find one another and find comfort there and know no matter what we're there for one another. You can't beat that. So I am so happy you got that connection with your brother(s).

    I can tell you are much more ok on your own alone than I am. I guess it's just because my whole life I've always had others there, not that I am dependent on them, it's been quite the opposite numerous times but to be in my own home, just me will eventually be a new challenge for me. I think I dread that more than I realized.

    I get what you mean when you say you haven't had anyone to share you. My nephew is coming by today because he understands I need and want some company. I'm not alone now but at times I feel isolated.

    As always I'm thankful for you, my great sounding boards who let me spill out my feelings and then somehow find a way to tell me I'm ok. This therapy would cost me a fortune on a couch in a doctors office somewhere and some of you thought you weren't healers..... 🙂

  • poetic, there you are, I was worried about you, thought the watchful eye had gotten you or something. Glad you're back. Is my father still bugging you? I'm working on a connection but don't feel I'm completely getting it yet. Still anxious to hear what you encountered.

  • No, just extremely busy and frazzled. I don't know why but after you are off a few days, not to mention I stayed up all night one of those days. Still tired and feeling weird. I had some luck ton Tuesday, you were on mind all that day and this other lady at work, before bed I asked God to show me who had the greater need. Well when I got back to work on Wednesday everyone told me the other lady had been looking for me all day, she said to me, when I thought of you it was like the Holy Spirit was telling me when you see her, she is going to have something good for you! She was crying and I started crying and I thought well this must be my answer. I wasn't sure but I keep you and others on my list of folks to be blessed. Thats why I was trying to give my phone number to call me on Wed. Well that pool has run dry now but I'm sure there is more to come, maybe thats why I thought I felt your father's spirit around me.

    Both of you are a blessing to me and give me hope and Inspiration for my dark days too. As I am blessed, I will bless others too! Zephire I am praying you win on Saturday! I think I was tested in May, because May was a horrible month for me. I'm thankful that I have you both!

  • RC, if you keep busy and do something nice for yourself you won't miss them as much.

  • Poetic, nothing worse than just feeling drained and tired. Hope you get a boost of energy soon. Sometimes though the body just needs some good old fashioned sleep. We get caught up in doing for ourselves, our families, our jobs etc that the simple 8 hours of rest part gets neglected. Go for it, it might do wonders for you. Hey I understand, I'm glad you and your coworker figured out the situation, you can't beat a holy spirit blessing. We struggle to understand what we are supposed to "know" but sometimes if we just stop searching, stop struggling, the knowing part will become clear. See I'm learning.....LOL

    Sorry May was not a good month for you but know that we are here for you. It may take time but eventually you'll look back on it all and see there was something to learn from the various difficulties that challenge our days. Hang in there girl.

  • Zephire,

    Thank you for your welcome and lovely comments. I appreciate your good thoughts! : )

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  • Zephire, you keep me going and going, such praise, such fortitude, we just need to keep encouraging each other.

  • Zephire- I kinda know what you mean. I got to be supervisor without the title or the pay. lol You guys have helped me so much. 3 months ago I was an entirely different person. I have matued and gained so much insight inthe past 3 months tha I have in 38 years! I am thankful for everybody here. You guys have helped me more than you know.

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  • Zephire, you are right, the tears are a cleansing. I'm not a crier by nature, it is a sign of weakness or always was before. These days the tears flow when they flow and so I hope with them comes some healing.

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  • Zephire- thank you. Happy Sunday morning to all. I spent the sunrise this morning sitting outside with a dog. When we got up, I thanked him for sitting with me. I went and apologized to my ex and I asked God to seep in the crack that opens up and fill his heart. He is a good person and deserves good things so I hope Godhelps him. I saw him appreciate the apology. I wanted to get to him when he hadn't been drinking yet. I culd see it meant something. I may not be there for him like I was but I want no ill will and I want good things for him which I hope he will soon see that alcohol won't give him. Anyway, During the week I am going to look more into a way to start my animal rescue. I believe that is what I'm supposed to do.I don't know exactly why but I think that is what I'm supposed to do. I hope to have it started by the time I am 40. Which gives me a year and 3 months.That's really a short time being I have nothing but I think that God will help me to do this. (I hope lol) My emotions are a little wonky. I don't cry at sad times, like when my mother died but i cry at sad and happy endings. I have never had any emotions when something happens to me. Anyway, it is now 9a, I'm gonna go. TTFN

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  • Good Morning all, well it's nearly afternoon now. Hope everyone is doing well today. I'm in high gear on my research as is what most Sunday afternoons are for me. We've been finding lots of good pieces of information. Zephire I always love your positive attitude and am impressed by your visit with your friend. Her seeing a change in you is cool. It's kind of nice to look at ourselves from anothers perspective sometimes. We can get so hard on ourselves that we don't realize when things are improving or looking better. I know I've felt such a change in myself since I joined this forum and it literally breathes the life back into me on days when I"m really down. My brother certainly sees it, my sister in law is always excited to hear the latest. We were noticing last night some of the things Blmoon and I discussed on another thread some time ago is beginning to make sense in our genealogy so that is great fun. I remember saying to her that I wasn't going to say no, I was open to whatever she offered to me. Some things I didn't agree with or think fit our puzzle but lo and behold they are beginning to show themselves to ring true and that is very exciting. My friends and family are just as excited to hear how things are with my pals here as they are to hear about one another. I've had moments of fearing being alone in the future but as much as I am alone a lot of the time and only have limited contact with others around home so you all fill in the gaps quite nicely. So for that I am so thankful.

    Poor Poetic seems to have been busy lately and I know that can be exhausting at times. Hoping she finds some breathing room in her days this week. Sylvannah I am so very proud of you to decide to go forth with the rescue project. It seems it fits you so well and to set a timeline for yourself will make things happen you never thought possible. Stick with it and give yourself credit for each little achievement. Your caring and compassion with your ex shows you are such a loving and considerate person. So ladies you always lift me up, I thank you. Have a great day!

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  • Good Morning! Everythings fine, got some rest, missed you guys, back in a minute.

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