I Love him but his life has taken a dramatic turn!!!

  • Well, It all started a year ago. Whwn we first met we both were in relationships but we wanted out. Atleast I thought he did . We began spending a time together but to his convience. Which I liked him so much I accepted it . I felt something in my life i had never felt before LOVE. We grew distant because he would dissapear in and out of my life . The only thing I had was a broken heart and messages on my phone he left to hear his voice . It was always a excuse as to why I hadn't heard from him. I didn't know his girfriends sister worked with me, but after talking about him It was the same guy. About 5 months had went by since I had spoken to him. We hooked up and enjoyed eachother 4 days straight. Dissaperared again with my house key ??? Afterwards I found out I had a tubal pregnancy . I had to have surgery immediately, I was so scared of course my ex (boyfriend)??? He was there but not the person I felt I made the baby with. I hadn't really talked to him in a month but I did tell him I neededd his support but I was mean and he ran away again. I called and called and his brother finally told me what was going on his kids mother not the one he was dating previously they hadn't been together for 2 yrs had died in a car accident and his daughter was in crtical condition. I immediately felt his pain and wanted to support him in every way I could. His daughter is doing better but shes still in the hospital . I just want to be there for him because I love him . I probably will never get what I have yearned for from him. ?? Time, attention, support, frienship/ relationship. I dont want to turn my back on him . Alot of things have been happening in his life . I dont have any kids so I can't possibli imagine what hes going through . What do I do ???? I love him

  • Hun, this guy sounds like an emotional leech. And your biggest mistake was in not demanding respect from him right from the very beginning. DO NOT continue to pusue this man! If he had wanted you to know about his daughter, and to be in his life, he would have let you know in no uncertain terms. Right now, you are coming off as pathetic and clingy, and guys generally hate that.

    This guy doesn't think you are "miss right", he views you as "miss right now". And you have allowed him to assign you that role willingly. Put a STOP to that immediately, for your own self respect and piece of mind.

    Unless you don't believe you deserve better, discontinue your chasing of this man. Go about living your own life, and then open it to someone who deserves you...and willing to give you everything you need from a relationship.

    I must warn you...I've known this type of guy myself. Once you have a life, and a good man in it, you will look much more attractive to him. Don't be surprised if he tries to undermine your new relationship....and possibly ruin it, just to keep you on a string and available to him when he decides he wants you. DON'T LET HIM DO IT!!! Living well, and better, is your best answer and revenge on this inconsiderate man.

    Never let another human being take your personal power away like that. It's the foundation for a very unhealthy relationship.

    Love & Light,


  • You sound like a good person with a kind and giving nature, I understand that you want to help this man, you need to ask yourself if this is the right road to go down with him? It sound's like he has messed you about in the past and hurt you.

    You have been through so much - look after yourself, you deserve someone who will give you time, attention, support, frienship/relationship not someone who leaves you with heartace and voicemails full of excuses?

    Spend time looking after You learn to Love yourself more - men are not the answer to your happiness, YOU are the answer to your own happiness.

    Oh and get your house key back, he should never have taken that better yet get the locks changed.

    Suth xx

  • I know it is so hard to watch him struggle when you love him. All you want to do is be there for him. When my husband and I separated, he faced a few struggles, and i was the only one he could turn to. At first, i was supportive, sympathetic. But in time I realized that it was not my "job" to do that anymore. It was so draining to be giving that emotional support to him when he did not return it. It was hard for me to turn off those feeling of supporting him when we had been together for the last 7 years, and that is all I had done was support him.

    I finally just told him, I'm sorry, I care about you but I can't do this anymore. You need to find someone else to talk to and get that support from.

    I think you would be much happier with another man. Someone who wants to be with you, who loves and adores you. Someone who WANTS to give you everything they have.

    I hope you can find happiness in whatever you decide. Good luck to you.

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