Reconcilliation Advice



  • My partner of 18 yearsleft me 5 weeks ago. Although he didn't cheat on me he moved on with a woman very quickly.

    We have 5 children together.

    THe trouble is moving on has been very difficult as he is still in the house.

    I have had many many signs that we will reunite which I am happy for.

    He has been looking for a house to move into with this woman and he says he has big feelings for her whereas the feelings he has for me are huge (his words).

    I have had indications May will start to see a shift but I can't see how when he hasn't even left the house yet and for me I think him leaving the house would be best (scary but best). We are actually really talking properly for the first time in a long time.

    I want him to come back wholey not divided between me and his new girl. We separated once before (9yrs and I left him for 8 months) s owant this to be the LAST time.

    The question is hard to spell out as it is about how will it work out and how long till it does and success.

    Hope it makes sense.



  • It would appear I have missed some information.

    My birthdate

    27/03/1973 initials BC

    His birthdate

    18/04/1972 initials KB

    Sorry have I missed anyhting else?



  • Please anyone?



  • Killashandra,

    I see marriage counseling as your path forward. To put this back together, the unresolved issues, new and long standing, need to be addressed. The new girl will not last, but that does not mean your relationship will be repaired. Yes, you will get back together regardless, the question is how much drama do you want to go through in the future? I would start asking around and researching marriage counselors now. It is a constructive use of your time. Also, you can go and see one by yourself, and find one you like, it will not matter as much to him. Find a good one. The five children should be enough of a reason for both of you to do it.



  • The name Tristan is a baby boy name. The name Tristan comes from the Celtic origin. In Celtic The meaning of the name Tristan is: Tumult; outcry. From the Celtic name Tristan. In Arthurian legend Tristan was a Knight of the Round Table and tragic hero of the medieval tale Tristram and Isolde.



  • RedPetals,

    Very good. There it is. Nice research.



  • Yeah, pretty much you can find that stuff out out on the internet, see much Irish stuff myself.... Tell me a little about your home and I can tell you much more about you! For example, what predominates the north east portion of of your home? Do you have books, plants, stuff like that? Or, what do you have there?



  • Lets see it is a double house, so the northeast portion is the shared wall, back bedroom, hall way, stairs, foyer, front door, and porch.



  • Brian, it may be a double house but we are talking what is inside , are you up or down? Also, tell me what type of elements you have in the northwest portion ohey made of? Wood, metal, water? I can give you more details as to what those elements can be, or at least helpful if you need it. You strike me as a most exttremely intelligent guy , much more so so than the world gets it's. LOL, Hmmmm. somehow I think very conservestive views! Exceptional in being sensetive in feeling too! LOL , Anyway, if you want to me to specifically dial in to what is on your mind I can give you a specific location for you tto focus on and how to hopefullu bring it fruition. to Blessings to you! You can let me know....



  • It is a side by side double house. Northwest portion of the house is a recliner chair, fabric, wood, metal, and another chair, fabric, wood, I suspect metal in it too.

    I think I would have to map the house really. LOL

    Yeah, you are correct about me, you have nailed me pretty good.

    Dial in on, lets see...

    finances

    health

    education

    those three areas are of the most interest

    the relationship with Sarah, I would like to know, hmmm, I guess what to do, and generally where it is going I guess. that is of a minor importance compared to the first three.



  • I will ponder that for you if you like.. Tell me what is in the south western portion of your home? I can give you some insight if you want it.; Typcially I am much better at hearing someones voice , I can "hear" or "see" what that person needs, wish I could hear yours! Inffledtions can be quite revealing!j Anyway tell me me how I can help and I will will share with you what I can>



  • difficult as it may be to hear....get his butt out of your house. his presence and lack of commitment to you is detrimental to the core of your self worth and that of your children's. let him sort out his arrangements on his own time with this woman who clearly has no integrity if she knows the whole story. but the fault is TOTALLY on him for putting you in this confusing and ambiguous situation. REAL men leave if they need to......but to stay in the house is the act of a leach. horrific as it sounds. and you are better than that. Take a stand and live by the adage "if you let them go and it is meant to be, they will return" but you can't do that with him still in the house and in your head.



  • RedPetals,

    Southwestern? Hmmm. Kitchen, and deck.

    Well I just want to know about those three areas really. And the relationship. That is about it.

    Yeah they do not have chat or anything on here, and no video or audio chat of course. I can see how that would be helpful.

    Tell me about yourself.



  • Well my friend, your SW area of your house is the ' love relatiohshop; area o frour home. You will want to have things like that are in the element of earth., I/E. cemetal. cerramic, and avoS otherw things that I can tell you about. Trust mel I am being bery base right now now becase I am going to bed buy I will have much more info if want it later!



  • Very good. Thanks. Good Night.



  • It is my first post do not know exactly what to do 🙂

    i was with a guy for 3 months ,he asked me for marriage ,i replied ok but i suggested we give our relationship more time.my ex took it very badly and a month later he broke up with me.

    we are separted for 3 months now, i heard he has another girlfriend

    i still want him back

    my details : 3 july 1978 initials m.m

    his details: 31 may 1972 initials j.g



  • Mimolb,

    You heard he has another girlfriend? So, you are not in contact.

    Hmmm? You need to figure out two things.

    1. Do you want to get married, and married to him (that is not just getting him back)?

    2. Does he want to marry you, and not just get married to someone?

    Once, you have your answers to those two questions, then you can move forward.

    If the answers do not give the indication that marriage for you and him is what is wanted, then you must move on. The conflict that arose was from you both wanting different things.

    If the answers do give the indication that marriage for you and him is what is wanted, then you need to iniate contact. A letter is good, but I would get delivery confirmation on it, so you know it got to his mailbox. You could also leave a message or a text, saying I have sent you a letter please read it. This will give you a way to express your feelings, without him being painted into a corner, and he will be able to sit with your written words, and think about what he wants. Then you should get an answer.

    Regardless of how any of this goes, you wanting to more time is no crime, it never is. He may have taken it badly yes, but sometimes people need to learn patience, and to give people some time to get to where they are at. You should not feel you missed an opportunity, someone just did not give you the time you were entitled to. That is all. You did not mess this up, he did.



  • Thx for your reply BrianTristan

    i already sent him an email 1.5 month explaining my feelings

    he replied saying that i dont need to blame myself and he never wanted to hurted me

    also i went for a short trip ,i sent him a postcard for easter ...he should have received it by now...but he did not call ...



  • Mimolb,

    Oh, well, you can still send him a letter. And e-mail, and a post card are kind of impersonal. I would send him a letter (I know you sent an e-mail), and just reiterate what you said before, and what you feel, and leave it at that. If he responds he does, and if he does not he does not. But at least you will feel you put yourself out there, and said what you had to said, kind of a final plea. That way you can move on, no matter what he does. Ya know?



  • he has finally moved out. Things are moving along nicely and I have accepted what will be in my future.

    My anxiety arises from time but I will use it wisely as I can't get it back.

    I will try to find peace within the time given to me.