Totally Confused about a Cancer Man ! Help.....

  • Stefin,

    Thumbs up!

  • Where is Kaplow?

  • Here Iam ! I had a rough Holiday weekend . I think I messed up big time ( you can start cussing me out now ) . On Thurs May 27 He was on my mind alot so I sent him a text saying " Hey , just thinking about you . Call me when you get a chance " He hasn't responded . I knew that he was leaving for Atlanta on friday so I figured that he was busy preparing for that or he looked at the text and thought " Why would she send me something like that " . Over the weekend I was hanging with some friends who are also familar when this situation and they were saying that there's no excuse for not communicating and it only takes a min to respond to a text , and he was not gonna answer because I wouldnt have sex with him when we I saw in his town 2 weeks ago and he was pissed off. So they convinced me to send another text to him and if he was smart enough he will figure out I was talking about him ( especially since one reason I said we could not have sex is because I found Jesus ) Here's the text --- Sent to him on the 29th . " I have a problem . I have found someone that im considering taking the next step with. He makes me weak everytime he speaks to me. He reminds me of fairy tale guy women always talk about . Very Spiritual , Athletic, funny , handsome and with a name like Jesus he has a body that makes me say oh my god . The only thing is the first time we kissed it was one of the sweetest feelings I ever felt . And with me saying that I have to be sure that im truly over that night we spent together , Because if I let Jesus in I don't think you'll get another chance. so as a friend im offering one time, one day, one night ! I f you cant do what you did to me the first time we will never do it again and further more I dont think you feel as though you can do it again " Well of course he did not respond to that nonsense ! I have really messed up this time listening to my friends. Now of course my friends are now saying that " Well if he did not respond this should tell you how he really feels about you ! He was just using you ! He probably has a girlfriend he never told you about, move on , he not worth it ! etc...... I feel so bad ! I was considering calling him to apolgize but I think the damage has already been done ! I have been literally sick over this ! Today is my first day back to work . What should I do ? I know deep down he not gonna respond & probably thinks im coo coo crazy ! I have so messed up big time ! What should I do? I was sooooooo Stupid for doing that !

  • Kaplow,

    Wow, even I do not understand what that text meant. Holy texting FUBAR! You know they say a camel is a horse designed by a committee? Well, that text is a text designed by a committee, and it does not make much sense. I do not even understand what you were getting at, to me its says something on the order of, hookup with me one last time before I get engaged or something. Or you are planing on being Born Again, but you want to be bad before that happens. Either way you look bad. That said, anything can be recovered from, especially drunken texts. This is a way to deal with this, and that is buy getting in touch with him, and telling him you were frustrated that he did not respond to your text, and your friends sent him that to try and get him to respond to you. So, basically you have to call him, talk to his machine, or him in person, and explain it. com. And perhaps it is time for you to start working on a letter, where you just lay it all out, and what you would like to have with him, and just get it out there. And I say that because you are getting pretty frustrated, and a text like that is indeed bad news. Call him, and clean it up real soon. And you can get back to me, as you can see, directly.


  • Brian !

    Now that you break it down like that I feel soooooooooooo Stupid ! Im going to call him tonight and explain myself . ( I hope he answers ) Iam starting to write my letter . I will let you know his response . But why wouldn't he atleast respond to the first text ? Do you think it was because we did not have sex ?

  • Kaplow,

    He is busy, so not responding to your text in the time manner which you wished has nothing to do with anything, other than he is busy. If it did have to do because you did not have ***, then I would tell you to forget the whole thing my dear. Has nothing to do with it. YOU ARE TRYING TO GET A LONG TERM THING GOING HERE, you are not looking to fill a blank boyfriend space. If you need a boyfriend while you work on this, then get one. Yes, it would be mighty unfair to the guy you got to fill that space, so I do not know how you would do that, but who knows there are lots of guys out there that might be willing to be a piece of meat.

    Yes the party text was not a good idea, you know that. However, you need to start to look at this as a long term project, if it is him you want. You can not freak out if something does not go you way, and you may have to do things like turning around to go back and see him, like you did several weeks ago. You are going to have to be flexible, and be able to keep your emotions in check somewhat to do this. My information is embedded in my last post to you, so you can get a hold of me quicker, for things like this that pop up. I offer this to a few people that need a more private or quicker way to get to me. It all remains confidential, more so actually, and I do not bite. You will be okay, just do not get so caught up in it, and that is easier said than done of course.

    Yes call him, and yes explain. A letter will be good, certainly face to face would be better, but you can speak your peace in a letter. But, but, take your time to craft the letter, that may mean many drafts before you get to a final version. And sit with it for a few days before you mail it too. I do understand how anxious you are, I do, but you need to calm do and get in it for the long haul, because that very well may be what this one is going to take.

    Lastly, mistakes get made, and they can be recovered from, so do not beat yourself up to much about the texts. And *** is not something to worry about right now, you are not to that point yet, you have plenty of other things to iron out before you think about it.



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  • BT... know what you mean... I asked for help and I got a reply from someone who called me an idiot and coldhearted...I can understand it because he doesnt know all the details... but Im not that kind of person and would never hurt someone intentionally... I took it like a champ but I would never do that to someone... especially when they prejudge my astrological sign as to be exactly like me.

  • BrianTristan, are you psychic or do you offer just some AWESOME advice? I've followed you on a couple of other threads, but I never had a chance to reply to anything. you give amazing advice and I'm sure a lot of people appreciate what you do. 🙂

  • Hi Brian !

    On sat I finally gave him a call ( while I was at the doctors getting my staples removed ) I asked him

    Me: Did you get my text ?

    Him: What Text ?

    Me: the text i sent you last weekend

    Him: no , but what was it reffering to ?

    Me: Its was about us & why we could not have ***

    Him: Oh ! I wasn't sweating what happened , maybe it happened for a reason , Im not upset with you or anything. It was no big deal. I never want to make you feel uncomfortable .

    Me: But it's more than that

    He cut me off and said don't worry about it

    He then heard the doctor talking to me and said " Why don't you call me back later tonight "

    Me: Ok

    Wel later on that night My grandfather ( Which he loves by the way ) fell out of a tree , so I wasn't able to call back . Yesterday I texted him and said " Im sorry I didn't call you back last night but my grandfather fell out of a tree . We really need to talk call me when you get a chance " Well he called right back ( I wasn't expecting that so I missed the call ) Plus he texted back and said " What's up " I have not responded back yet ! I don't know why I can't get up the nerve to tell him how I feel ! Im scared He's gonna say " You know now is not a good time for me " Or something like that . I want to call him back tonight . Help what should I say ?

  • Or should I tell him I rather wait to talk face to face . He should be coming home for his birthday June 30th .

  • Kaplow,

    You should just say what you have to say I was thinking. Yet, the problem is syncing up to have any communication; he is super busy, you are get attacked by staplers, and grandfather falls out his tree. So, perhaps you could just talk about the weather, and set up another time for a get together, and ambush him with a talk there. LOL You should just get some line of communication open with him, I think that is really first and foremost. Could you two talk a couple times a week consistently? That would be good. You can also get in touch with me, so I can see if you can actually communicate, or if we need to work on how to communicate. LOL

  • LOL ! So the best time for that would be when he comes home at the end of the month . So im going to call him and ask him if we could hook up and talk while he's home . I need to start my communcation classes A.S.A.P LOL ! My email address is . Email me !

  • Kaplow,

    Yes when he comes home. And perhaps a little at a time.

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  • Kaplow... hope everything is going better. Keep us posted about the 30th. Is he coming home?

  • Hello All ! Well he did not come home for his Birthday on june 30th . He had to work .

    Well I did what everyone suggested I should do . I put my feelings out there to him and I Haven't heard from him since ! The last time Heard from him was on his Birthday when I wished him well wishes . That was on June 30th ! He did do somthing like this Last Year when I did not hear from him for about 6 months. Then out the blue he calls ( Because I gave up on him ) and acts like nothing was wrong ! Is this normal ? What is he so afraid of ? When were face to face everything is cool ( He 2hrs away at school ) Maybe he's just not a phone person . Im a Scorpio so I need some type of communication ! Im not saying talk to each other everyday BUT I can atleast hear from ( text , email , something ) I can't believe he's acting like this ! ( We've known each other since age 5. ) What should I do Now ? I know deep down he has deep feelings for me too .

    Last week I was in his town and I texted him and asked if he would like to come out and play Golf with me and some of my clients ( yall know we both work in sports ) Of course no response . Don't all people know that the worst response to give someone is NO response ! This is sooo Heartbreaking !

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