Totally Confused about a Cancer Man ! Help.....
I feel your pain....I was dating a Cancer Male....very hard to read... I posted my story also....cliff notes version tho....
Sandran712>>What gets my nerve is someone posting about Cancer male and not know a damn thing about them.And that's ok.That's what you are here for.But, to whine and pine over them when they play a disapperaring act is just stupid.A Cancer male should be left alone to wallow by himself.I would not give 2 cents for a Cancer male.I am a Cancer Female.Cancer Male can be trifling drama queens.
For the best results I would ask the Captain for a compatability analasis. Create a new topic and post it. She is amazing and can go deeper into how the two of you match up. Also as Katie pointed out, please include the year and spell out your birth month like you did above. The Captain is Aussie and they due the dob a little different. I will keep an eye on this post and can help if needed. I'm nowhere near as good as the Captain though. Good luck and also check out Mercury retrograde to get a heads up on possible communication troubles you may experience leading up to the party day.
kaplow>>Your know we Scorpio's over analize EVERYTHING !!! LOL
Sandran712>>A Cancer analyzes things too.But, please do not compare a Cancer to a Scorpio.Scorpios are just more wicked than a Cancer.And more trifling..LOL..They are the ones where you need to watch your back..LOL.Scorpiocancer and Pisces may all be water signs.But, some of these signs do show individual traits.`
So, your gonna wait till the party, that is two weeks away? Wait and see how he acts and all that? I see. Well, do not expect to have "the talk" with him at the party, expect to make a "date" to have "the talk".
I mean if you are already kicking the can down the road now, and are thinking about having "the talk" at a party, you are making yourself go from concerned to completely scared out of your mind. Not good Kaplow. I would like for you to get this issue resolved (I would actually like to see it work out, but that is another matter), and you are drilling holes in the bottom of your boat.
I understand you wanting to wait till the party, I do. Realistically though, you have to meet with him either before this event, or after it. The talk you want to have is not something you do at a party. And part of you is wanting to wait and see how he acts at the party, and then base your decision on that, and that is just avoidance Kaplow.
So look Kaplow, waiting (which is your choice) is not going to change anything here, at all. Either he does, or he does not have the same feelings for you, that you have for him. You do what you want, but from my perspective, I think the best idea is to confront him before the party, that meaning sooner than later. If things go well, then you see each other at the party, it will be the next time you see each other, you know take it slow. If things do not go well, then you skip the party, and that would highlight you being serious about what you said.
There is no right or wrong way to do this, what you want to do is, what you want to do. But Kaplow, if you are going to wait until the party, then find something to do for the next two weeks, and think about it, and analyze it, as little as possible in that time. You are gonna have yourself in knots if you do, and that is not helpful to what you are trying to figure out here.
@ BrianTristan - You're right im going to call him tonight ! I think it be easier over the phone than face to face. I guess im uneasy about it because I haven't spoken to him since March and then before that I hadn't spoken to him since June ( at his birthday party his mom threw for him ) so we don't really talk at it is , only when were around each other ( which isn't often ) or wer'e in each others cities visiting . But after our last convo when he said " Don't be a stranger " I thought " Maybe he does have some feelings for me " I mean if the outcome is bad I don't want us to feel awkward around each other afterwards . Am I making sense ?
@ mellove - Thanks im going to do that . Im new on here so it's taking me a while to get navigate around the website.
You have been friends for pretty much a lifetime. I understand there is a man/woman difference with cancers but as a cancer this would but my mind @ ease.. When you talk to this guy let him know you think he is a great person. One whom you truely value having in your life but that you also think he is hot and would like to explore that aspect of the two of you. Just give him the option and an out. Tell him it would be nice but that you just want to explore the possibility without a lot of pressure. That way if it's not going to work out then you two can still be friends and laugh about it in 10 years. Brian Tristan.. Any input?
kelcrab>>The "ASCLAC page 2" thread is where a lot of us Cancer/Scorp combos go to discuss our relationships
Sandran712>>Yeah..We all know how that is a Yawn Thread.And alot of you are not true Cancers.You are mostly Scorpio Trifling Drama.Most are made up of Scorpios talking about us Cancer's.And don't know a damn thing about Cancer Males.And if anyone else wants to go to Lindieloos Have I lost my Cancer bf can go there.It's Just not all about You...Scorpio Aflac thread
kapow>>He said he was having a hard time reading me ! ( i have no clue what that means)
Sandran712>>A Cancer relies on physical feelings to read a person.Telephone does help but is not enough.Cancers have intuition.And if he can't read you.He doesn't know how you feel about him.Cancer's living long distance just doesn't work if you want a long term relationship.Because Cancer needs physical contact.Him staring at you just means he is trying to get to know you in the physical sense.You can't see a person on the phone.
Cancer is very visual.We pick up on things by watching.I don't trust Cancer men.Because they have a tendency to tell you anything you want to hear.When it comes to them they won't tell you anything personal.Or when they do tell you anything about themselves.It's selective .Which means he will volunteer in bits and pieces.They dance around when confronted in a lie.
Kaplow Kaplow Kaplow, Kaplow,
Mellove gave some very good insight and advice to you.
And Sandran712 gave a point of view regarding Cancers / Scorpios. As a Cancer male, I can tell everyone flat out, I am faithful, honest, and have done long distant relationships successfully, but Sandran712's viewpoint and experience differs, and that is okay. What is most important is the guy you are interested in Kaplow, not how any other Cancer boys are. You can get into that stuff later, after you get yourself out of the starting gate first. It will ultimately be how your Cancer boy is, not how other Cancer boys are.
And look, you could certainly, take things very slowly, that would be okay. You two could join Facebook, MySpace, MyYearbook, or some silly site like that, and get some Apps, and send "gifts", "high fives", "hearts", and messages back and forth to each other. There would be nothing wrong with that. Perhaps just getting a line of communication open is what is important here, so you have an avenue to interact.
The only thing I have to say is this... this seems to be eating at you, and the more it eats at you, the more anxious you get about it emotionally, and that affects how constructively you can go about it (how logically you can process your thoughts, and how effectively you can communicate). If it is gonna gnaw at you, and make you a slobbering fool, then just get moving on it now, and that could be just a nice phone call shooting the breeze.
The band Extreme has a song called "Tragic Comic", google it so you can listen to it, and also read the lyrics. It will give you a little laugh at your situation, which may be helpful. I understand this is a pins and needles situation, but you need to take a deep breath and relax a little bit. It is said on these forums over and over, when people ask for guidance or advice, that "the energy you give off, is exactly what you attract back to yourself". So, at least get your head on halfway straight. That way when you are tongue tied, you can laugh at yourself, instead of panicking.
Brian>>It will ultimately be how your Cancer boy is, not how other Cancer boys are.
Sandran712>>This is true.Not all Cancer men are the same.But,I do know that Cancer wants alot of attention.And you can't get it in an email and texting.Oh Gawd I hate texting.I disagree with joining Facebook and MySpace.Not only makes a person stray.It's too much information about yourself out there.The line of communication helps.But, how long would it be before you start whining about him not contacting?Seeing in person.Cancer's only wait so long and then we say..So Long..
Well I am a Cancer, and I am not that way at all. If it is someone I want to be with, then I do not mind waiting. And any communication is good for me, I just wanna know I am thought about.
There is a difference between wanting attention, and wanting to be smothered. Wanting some attention is healthy, wanting to be smothered is unrealistic. I understand attention starvation can be detrimental, do not get me wrong, but a person has to be realistic. And saying I am a "this sign of the zodiac" to back up whatever it is that you want, is just manipulative. We can live by our good qualities, while we try to negate the bad qualities of our signs.
Anyhow, these two, Kaplow, and Kaplow's love interest, have a long history, and Facebook, MySpace, or MyYearbook, would be just be like e-mail, chat, or the phone (talk or text), another communication tool. And if the form of communication makes a person stray, then they were not committed anyway. Besides, most people on those sites are fakes, these two know each other. Big difference.
Brian>>Well I am a Cancer, and I am not that way at all. If it is someone I want to be with, then I do not mind waiting.
Sandran712>>I am a Cancer too.
I am a Triple Water sign.Cancer Sun~Pisces Moon~Cancer Rising.I do not mind waiting either.But, I am being realistic.I like guys 2 hours away myself.But, there is a time that the honeymoon phase of a newly developed relationship wears off.The distance gets to be a bit much.I never get my hopes up for long distance.Guys change their mind like they change their underwear.I just hate posties coming to the boards whining over Cancer men showing disappearing acts.We are people..We get busy.I always say that if you cannot handle someone spending long periods away from you is to leave it alone.I dated a guy recently I haven't seen in 30 years.He wanted to meet me.We see each other for 6 hours and Bam! he's gone and been gone for 7 months now.I still stand by my opinions on the email~texting and facebook.After awhile it ain't enough.
Your point of distance eventually being too much is valid, for a relationship does need to move forward, and somebody is going to have to relocate, that is true.
However, if both people are secure with themselves, and trust and value each other, long distance relationships can work, and work well. There is indeed an end point that these people are doing this for, and that is when they can be together permanently (when school is over, when military service is over). It has happened in the past, it will happen in the future, all you have to do is read some history to realize that is so.
People are different; when and where a person was born, a person's blood type, a person's ancestral heritage, are all used to define how people will act, which is all well and good, and can be very useful indeed. But there are also things like a person's moral character, ethical viewpoint, and life experiences that also shapes a large portion of a person's being, and how the behave.
I am who I am, and I know what I am capable of, just as you are you, and know what you are capable of, and can handle. Each person is unique, and that is what I was talking about to Kaplow, she needs to figure out what will work with her love interest (who he is, who she is, and how they can or can not make it work).
Your opinions on e-mail, texting, social networks, or anything for that matter are perfectly valid. I feel they can also be enhancements, while I acknowledge your point that they can be detrimental too. All I am saying is, it all just depends on a lot of different factors.
Are you a writer? I like how you are able to get your point across without being offensive and stating clearly that what you offer is your oppinion only. I think you have offered Kaplow some great advise. Curious about you writing though;-)
BrianTristan, nice too see a nice cancer guy giving some good advice too someone trying too figure it all out! I am a cancer, have dated a couple cancers way back in the day,but I began thinking mabe cancer and cancer just might be a bit too much, infact I just spent years thinking my boyfriend was all leo, he doesn't care what exactly his sign is, but said from what he knows he doesn't think he's leo, even though bday says he is, I look up his chart, and he's got cancer all over the place, virgo too. Luckily I have leo in mine, I think it balances us out a bit, you can imagine the emotions in this household! I have friends who are female scorpio/ cancer male, couple, they honestly vent about one another without realizing they do it too the same person, at different times, I'm very loyal, as I was her friend first, but I try too just let it go in one ear out the other, and not repeat any of it, as I see he really does adore her, and her him. I've seen where both scorpio and cancer be jealous, so those boundaries should defintly be discussed before any long distance dating starts too turn serious, so theres no confusion, or hurt feelings down the road. I think cancer males seem too be a good match for scorpio females, they do both have good bs detectors, they can both be passionate about their family lives, the only thing that irks me about this duo, is that they can tend too forget about the rest of the world when they get together, scorpios loves how the cancer guy is very protective, cancer guy loves how scorpio doesn't get too crazy about their alone, or M.I.A. time.
Sandran, I know, but hey , their not all bad, right?
Sandran, I know a few scorpios who are amazing, and a couple, well not so much, but some cancers can be that way too, depends on a lot of other things I suppose.
Hey Kaplow, you should do your chart too, it does offer a lot more detail! Normally I would run the other way if a guy made it a point too say "don't tell anybody", but this might be different, as I'm thinking your cancer guy probably said not too tell anyone about it just because of the history there with your families, its not you per say, that I'm getting he would be embarrsed about, its just that if he's anything like any other cancer, (there are a few traits that seem too be more common then not), then he would turn red no matter who he was caught doing that with when it comes too family, he might still like too pretend he came from the stork when it comes too his mom knowing he does "that", or his personal bussiness. Might be easier for him too say he was dating you, then it would be for his family too know the two of went there first. Only you would know how your two families might respond too the idea of the two of you getting together, I'm assuming your adults that can do as you please, but it wouldn't be unreasonable if they had concerns about how it would be if it didn't work out. From my personal experinace, young cancer guys can make better platonic friends, then boyfriends at first, while thier figuring it all out, the ones that are a bit older are usually very loyal. Just because he hasn't came right out and said he wants too get together, doesn't mean he won't atleast give it some consideration, it just might work out, I think cancer is as capable as any other sign at having a long distance thing work, I have seen the cancer males be suspectible too cheating if theres a physical lure, or if they don't feel thier needs are met on any given level, just depends on who your dealing with, what thier individual needs seem too be, I would defintly try too feel that out before I started something serious.
A writer, no. LOL My worst subject is English, but ironically enough I have enough credits in English to have a minor; I am a glutton for punishment. That said, I have had English professors, and people majoring in English comment on how much they like my writing. Very weird, to get your butt kicked in the subject, and then have people think you write well. Thanks though, I appreciate the compliment. If I do write at the very least coherently, I credit Catholic Education.
As far as getting ones point across, I will blame that on William F. Buckley, Jr. As a child I liked Mr. Rogers, and Bill Buckley, which is pretty weird. Anyway, he always had civil debates, even though he strongly made his points. All you can do is make your case, clarify the merits, use some supporting evidence, and let people come to their own conclusions.
What did you make of my birthchart, that you were so interested in?
Thank you. Kaplow did not need a reading, she just needed some common sense advice, stuff that is hard to see when someone is in the middle of something like she is now. And Kaplow needs to iron out some stuff with her love interest boy before she gets into signs and birthcharts, this is all new to her.
And yes Cancer guys, like me, are complex for guys, but honestly I find it comes down to one thing, a person's morals and ethics. If someone has those both firmly rooted, then the bad stuff does not tend to happen, all this cheating, lying, and deception.
Well... how goes it?
What kind of screen name is Kaplow?
Since you are a Scorpio, do you have a stinger?