Totally Confused about a Cancer Man ! Help.....



  • I have a childhood friend that ive known since age 6. We are NOT Blood Related but Our families are close. He even calls my relatives " aunt & Uncle " And I call his Mom " auntie " I have not seen him for about 10 years ! He went to college down south (14 hrs Away )and after graduating he found a job & stayed. 3 yrs ago My family reunion was down in his city and he came to visit all of us. Most of my family were leaving to return home but my filght was postponed to the next day. He asked if I wanted to hang out and I said ok . He picked me up from my hotel and we went to get something to eat . We laughed and talked about things from our childhood And we found out that we are both in the same Career !. We left and went to his Apt . Next thing I know he started coming on to me and yall know the rest lol ! The only problem was that I was so scared & unrelaxed that we DID NOT have sex ! I told him everytime I look at him I see his Mom & that when he looks at me he sees my aunt and that having sex wouldn't be cool .He said he was having a hard time reading me ! ( i have no clue what that means) we left & he dropped me off back at my hotel. After that we talked on the phone a couple of times. 5 months later I went back to his city to celebrate my birthday. Some of my other cousins also came along. He took us out to a club. We all had a ball. But the entire weekend I noticed him Staring at me all the time , I would catch him ! I didn't say anything to him because my fam was around! After that he came home for the holidays & contacted me . He came over to my house & we had sex ! But before we did the do he said " You know we can tell anybody " and that rattled me . Im not into Casual Sex !!!! A whole year went by and we talked on the phone a couple of times. Out of the blue he calls me to let me know that he was in town for his Birthday & that His mom was throwing him a birthday party at her house & that I could come . I went to the party , I thought it was going to a bunch of people out are there BUT It was Only His family!! I talked & partied with his fam everything was cool until I caught him staring again. It was time to go & he walked me to my car & he said he definatley wanted to see me before he went back home. He called the next night and asked me what I was doing . I was out at a club , I asked him if if he wanted to come & he said he just got in from hanging out . He asked what time was I going to be home , I said Im not sure because I had some other stops to make why what's up , and he didn't respond ! So i left it alone . The next day he left. 4 months later Me & my fam was in his city for a funeral . I called and invited him to come out to dinner with the fam . He had said he had previous plans . He then Texted me and and asked we were leaving i said in the morning , he said ok Ill holla at yall when im done . He texted me around 11pm and asked if we were still out , I said no were back at the hotel . he said well " are you in for the night " I said "yeah we have to get up real early to get on the road " He did not respond . 1 year later I went back to his city with the fam . I called him to see if he wanted to hang out . He told me that he moved up north so he can go to Grad school ! Now he is only 2hrs away ! I had him on speakerphone . He said that we should come and visit since he was closer to home. I took him off speaker and he ended to convo with " Dont be a Stranger " What does that mean ???? . Next week iam going to a housewarming that is 30 mins from where he is ! I was going to stop and see him since i was so close. ( I have not told him yet ) I really care him & i wonder if he feels the same. I want to be more than friends with him. My questions are . 1. Should I go visit him ? 2. Do you think he has any type of feelings for me ? What did he mean by " Reading Me". Im scared that if I dont go that ill never know what could be ? Does Dont be a stranger mean a open invitation ? We only had sex ONCE. . He's a CANCER & im a SCORPIO any advice , comments , questions etc... would be greatly appreciated ! Sorry the story is soooo Long !!!



  • I'm a Cancer male...have had my fair share of the Cancer/Scorp drama

    Cancers and Scorps have an instant connection because we're like two peas from the same pod

    "reading me"...you should know what this means, you Scorps invented it! lol But yea, like Scorps, Cancers can cut through people's bs pretty easily and figure out what you're about, the only people we have trouble reading are you Scorps

    I think you two experienced that magical Cancer/Scorp connection - but I don't think he's willing to take it any further than just a booty call

    Don't be a stranger is an open invitation to call him, but it doesn't mean anything more than that

    The "ASCLAC page 2" thread is where a lot of us Cancer/Scorp combos go to discuss our relationships



  • Thank You



  • Kaplow,

    Wow, what drama. Do you like drama? Does he like drama?

    First off, it is hard for you to be objective, you are in this one up to your eyeballs. Here is what is going on though...

    He says yes, you say no. Then you say yes, and he says no. Switch, and repeat. Switch, and repeat. No sex, then sex, no sex, then avoidance. This is all a recipe for disaster. There is no communication, it is all a game of cat and mouse. You are not a toy, and neither is he!

    What needs to happen is this, the two of you, chaperoned if need be, need to and sit down face to face, and have a very long talk. You need to keep your hands off of each other also. No alcohol either.

    The talk should include, speaking about your family and his family, and how a relationship between the two of you could complicate that whole dynamic. Get it out in the open, speak about it. That said, both of your families know there is a long standing love affair between the two of you (they may not know it has been consummated), but nobody is going to faint if the two of you start dating, contrary to what you may think. You caught him staring at you? Hmmm? What were you looking at?

    The talk should also address what he wants, and what you want, this is serious business too. Your families have a long standing friendship, so neither of you can afford to play games here, that should be made clear. Your relationship is serious, but both of you have cold feet because you are both scared. So, you need to talk, and talk at length. He has a flame for you, and you have one for him, the question is the seriousness of his and your intentions. That is it.

    If you can not get a nice long talk going, after a few repeated tries, then forget it.

    If you have a nice long talk, and all goes well, then afterward, you both go back to your homes, and make plans for a visit (and talk on the phone, e-mail, chat, text, whatever in between). No sex right after the talk. Take it slow. Without open communication this can be really bad, so it is time to just put it out there, for both of you, so you both know where this stands. Immediate sex will get in the way of that, you need to TALK, lots of TALKING. C o m m u n i c a t i o n, no more confusion.

    If neither of you is serious, then you need to hang this one up, for you are just holding each other back.

    Best wishes to the both of you.



  • Oh also Kaplow,

    Cancers like any other sign, can live by their good qualities, while negating the bad qualities, or visa versa, or somewhere in between those two ends of the spectrum.

    That really is not your problem here (that he is a Cancer), it is the two of you have played so many games with each other you are both left flummoxed. Clear the air, and talk. And you need to be honest, and so does he (and you need to judge if he is being honest also).

    The cancer / scorpio dynamic will come in to play if and when you two get into a relationship, and open communication will help navigate through any rough spots. That is why it is not just important now, but also to build on.



  • @ BrianTristan - Thank you for being brutally honest with me ! I really needed to hear that . Now I know what I have to do . Thanks very much ......



  • Kaplow,

    You are welcome.

    If he is interested in you, and let me be blunt, I mean beyond getting in your pants, if he truly cares about you, and really at this point loves you, then everything should work out just fine. There is nothing to worry about. The only thing you need to do is make THE evaluation, "does he have stuff going on in his heart and head for you, and therefore is attracted -or- is he just attracted to you on a physical animal level (an not so much emotionally)." That is pretty much it.

    Beyond that, after you come to A conclusion, one way or another, then you must work very hard to make the communication between the two of you the best it can be. What you want is the "he has stuff gong on in his heart and head for me" one obviously, but all is not lost if it turns out to be just the "physical animal attraction" one. You both have played enough games that that is where he may be at this point. That one is kind of ugly, but i just means a lot more work for you to figure out if he loves you, but you kind of have to undo what you have done (if you forced cancer boy into his shell, then you will need to love him out of it).

    So, no matter what, it is all about communication, everything else will fall into place in this relationship if you do this one thing. And right now is the beginning of that, how you start this, how you communicate, is everything.

    I wish you both the best.



  • BrianTristan, Did you get your chart done yet?



  • Ah oh. Am I in trouble? : o

    LOL

    No Mellove I did not get my chart done.

    You could tell me about the best way to have it done, or what my various options might be. : D



  • Haha! I won't even touch the" am I in trouble" thing. Lol. There are several sights that offer birthchart services. Google "free daily horoscope" I believe there is one that will do your natal chart for free. Just curious about some of your placements;-)



  • I am in trouble? : (

    Thanks I shall check the birthchart thing out. I have to find out what time exactly I was born though, but I am not up to paying for it right yet. I am also curious about some of my placements. When I get it done I will let you know, and you can tell me if I should be locked up in a nice padded room, or not. : D



  • LMAO! BrianTristan you tickle my funny bone;-) Type " your daily horoscope" in google I think you can get a free natal placement chart



  • hello! sorry to talk into it, just shortly. you should type in google 'free natal chart' or 'free birth chart' and it will give you more internet sites that make you the chart for free. 🙂



  • My data is a follows...

    Julian day 2439664.82

    Adjust 4.00 ST 20.19 Lat 40.26 Long 79.53

    The position of the planets in the signs of the Zodiac has an influence on the character of the individual and these influences form a large part of the individual psyche.

    The most important information from the following table are: your sun sign, moon sign and your ascendant. The sun sign is the most general information in your horoscope. However you should make special note of your ascendant (Asc), also called rising sign. Never forget your rising sign as it give you more in-depth information about yourself. The Moon sign is also important as it reflects your emotions and intuitive side of your nature. In the Old Astrology, the Moon sign was a lot more important as the more general Sun sign.

    Your Planets & Houses

    Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0

    Sun Cancer 1.10 Ascendant Taurus 23.50

    Moon Capricorn 15.34 II Gemini 19.38

    Mercury Cancer 21.39 III Cancer 10.44

    Venus Leo 16.31 IV Leo 2.23

    Mars Libra 19.30 V Leo 29.08

    Jupiter Leo 5.38 VI Libra 6.43

    Saturn Aries 11.37 VII Scorpio 23.50

    Uranus Virgo 20.34 VIII Sagittarius 19.38

    Neptune Scorpio 22.01 R IX Capricorn 10.44

    Pluto Virgo 18.09 Midheaven Aquarius 2.23

    Lilith Aries 19.52 XI Aquarius 29.08

    Asc node Taurus 5.32 XII Aries 6.43

    The planetary positions in the houses express the facts relative to destiny.

    Planets in the houses

    Sun in II

    Moon in IX

    Mercury in III

    Venus in IV

    Mars in VI

    Jupiter in IV

    Saturn in XII

    Uranus in V

    Neptune in VI

    Pluto in V

    Lilith in XII

    Asc node in XII



  • more...

    Birth Chart

    This birth chart shows the positions of the planets of Brian

    The planets in the signs

    The position of the planets in the signs of the Zodiac has an influence on the character of the individual and these influences form a large part of the individual psyche.

    Sun in Cancer

    He weighs words carefully and is tenacious. A calm and discreet nature, tender, thoughtful, sensitive and impressionable. He likes group life.

    Weaknesses: He is humble, timid, changeable, indecisive, lazy, over-sensitive and prickly. Easily influenced by the family.

    Moon in Capricorn

    Fearful, taciturn, reserved. Attracted to politics. Has few friends because of reserved nature. Success comes by means of other people, who recognize his qualities.

    Weaknesses: material worries, savings, restrictions. Does not get carried away by love.

    Mercury in Cancer

    He adapts to every situation that arises, has a good understanding, is discerning and is full of insight. He is lucid and thinks things through. He likes to please and to create a good impression.

    Weaknesses: strong tendency to be influenced by those around him. Of changeable and unstable ideas, he is quickly convinced by fine words, even if at the beginning he did not share the person's point of view.

    Venus in Leo

    Sincere, frank and warm affections. He is full of tenderness. High hopes of love. He likes to live and satisfy his passions to the full. Protects and makes friends with those who can be useful.

    Weaknesses: excess in pleasure and amusements. Haughty, boastful, pretentious: he is affected, and seduces for the sake of seducing to prove to himself that he is attractive (this gets worse with age).

    Mars in Libra

    Aggression is quite simply repressed. He stores up the setbacks without letting it show, but too much can be difficult to support. Appreciates the Arts, beauty.

    Weaknesses: he is quick to criticize the society in which he lives. He likes to please and plays on the affection of others.

    Jupiter in Leo

    He is ambitious, wants to impose himself, to be someone, while nonetheless having sincere and pure feelings.

    Weaknesses: pride, haughtiness, arrogance.

    Saturn in Aries

    Exploration, investigation, research.

    Weaknesses: defiance, uneasiness. He takes revenge and is indifferent.

    Uranus in Virgo

    Not a strong character. He is unstable but has good intuition. He is sometimes ingenious.

    Neptune in Scorpio

    Investigation, inquiry, secrets.

    Pluto in Virgo

    Takes away his shyness.

    Sign and ascendant

    Cancer ascendant Taurus

    The planets in the houses

    The planetary positions in the houses express the facts relative to destiny.

    Sun in II

    Financial ambition. Lucrative job, he satisfies his needs, which are substantial. Moves money about a lot and sometimes spends recklessly.

    Moon in IX

    Highly imaginative. Prolonged studies, is intuitive. Professionally successful abroad, or in import-export or as a diplomat. Contact with foreigners. Long journeys. Ability to learn foreign languages.

    Mercury in III

    Deep studies. Adaptable. He is attracted to the Arts/letters. He knows how to share ideas. Moves around a lot professionally. He can easily keep many irons in the fire at the same time.

    Venus in IV

    He is lucky enough to have many happy occasions all through life. Strong friendships which can effect the emotional life. He also makes a good marriage. Happy family life. Good work situation.

    Mars in VI

    He works with great pleasure and flat out but meets with problems at work, where professional rivalry blocks his ideas and enjoyment.

    Jupiter in IV

    He likes and believes in justice. He is an optimist and is generous. Professional success is rapid and helped by the family. Family life is very important for him. He likes comfort, well-being at home. He knows how to entertain in style and above all with pleasure: his house is always open to friends.

    Saturn in XII

    He likes quiet and solitude above everything. He looks for work (or can work) alone, without being bothered. He hates chatting, outside noises.

    Uranus in V

    He is independent, likes even dubious distractions. His amorous adventures are not only numerous but also very complicated, otherwise they hold no charm.

    Neptune in VI

    He is more prone than most to the bad influence of alcohol, medicines and drugs. To be avoided at all costs.

    The houses in the signs

    Ascendant In Taurus

    He goes to the heart of things, achieves their goals, carries on to the end of whatever has been undertaken. Likes food, comfort, good sexuality.

    House II in Gemini

    Financial success will be acquired thanks to various activities, frequent changes, be it of the activity or the workplace.

    House III in Cancer

    Any travel that he does will only be to visit family or friends . Family and dear ones are very important to him, they can always count on him in times of difficulty or trouble.

    House IV in Leo

    Conducts family life like a business, rigorously and authoritatively. Great sense of organization, looks after what he possesses well.

    House V in Leo

    Can only love an honest, upright and intelligent person. Likes to admire his spouse. A sincere, stable and faithful love. Refined education.

    House VI in Libra

    Above all else, likes good work conditions, a good atmosphere. Weak point: the kidneys.

    House VII in Scorpio

    Passion, passion. Feverish and drunk with love. Hiccups, discussions, disputes in love.

    House VIII in Sagittarius

    Death will certainly be in a foreign land or on a journey abroad. Nevertheless this will happen after a long life, when the body is too exhausted to continue. Easy death.

    House IX in Capricorn

    Respects the religion in which he was brought up as a child, still holds this belief.

    Likes justice and loyalty.

    House X in Aquarius

    Success in teaching. Likes contact with others, to speak and explain.

    House XI in Aquarius

    Likes to re-make the world with his friends. These discussions can last the whole night and, with the ideal world created, he can retire to bed.

    House XII in Aries

    Can take initiatives without consulting anyone, even his partner.



  • What is a Birth Chart ?



  • Oh wow, I am sorry Kaplow, I did not mean to use your topic for this, my sincere apologies.

    I see it happened for a reason though.

    A birth chart is the positions of the heavenly bodies in the sky when you were born. In order to get one done, you need to know your date of your birth, time of your birth, as well as location of your birth.

    Mellove, Katie1982, you guys want to jump in here, and help Kaplow out, since we so rudely

    took over topic. You guys can explain the details much better than I can.

    Now Kaplow. What have you done about your "no blood relation kissing cousin"? Anything yet?



  • Deeply sorry Kaplow for hijacking your topic! A sun sign is a general image of some of your traits and tendencies. A birthchart goes much more in depth. It can show you how you behave in love, what karma you are dealing with in this lifetime etc.



  • Hello Everyone ! I don't mind yall invading my topic LOL . The more the merrier ........

    @ brian - I haven't talked to him yet . The party I will be attending ( The one that is 30 mins from him ) Is on April 30. I really have been thinking about your comments, Your know we Scorpio's over analize EVERYTHING !!! LOL I keep thinking about all the bad things that will happen if I tell him how I feel & he does'nt feel the same .

    Can you guys do a Birthchart for me ?

    My birthday is Oct 24

    Place of birth - Md

    *** His Bday is June 30 ***



  • Kaplow>> you need the year too and the place of birth at both parts.


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