Relationship Myths

  • Those who are closest to us know us and know exactly what will set us off. I have a 16 year old and a soon to be 14 year old. All of us are learning to communicate so much better than we have before and I think it has to do in part with my learning how to communuicate my own things that they didn't understand before. I used to yell and get all *issy with them and now that I am growing, I can actually calmly (most of the time...I won't lie...I'm not perfect) communicate to them my reasons for feeling, asking for certain thiings...without sounding like I'm a control freak. They in turn respond much more to my communicating this way.

  • It just seems like I have run out of ideas in helping my daughter get over some of her bad habits and what not. I do communicate very well with my daughter, and I know that when the time is right she takes my words of love and guidence to heart, just where is the speed up dial, haha. Im gonna hit up some of this with her councelor this week for some new methods or ideas...

  • Ok, after reading your comments you all sound like wise individuals with lots of experience on the topic love and relationships. So I would like your thoughts on my situation:

    I am married but separated. On paper, our marriage looked good. We didn't fight much, we communicated, we had a lot in common. We traveled, went to the theater, entertained, we're involved with our child. We have good careers that we enjoy. For the most part very compatible. We dated for three years, have been married for 14, separated for 8 months.

    I was the one who wanted the separatation. I became unhappy in the marriage. My husband isn't perfect, he has his flaws and so do I. I know we have to accept one anothers flaws, so thats not it. I just didn't feel excited to be with him anymore. I felt like I changed not him. It bothers me that I can't put my finger on it. And its not like I didn't try to spice things up, I did. I read the books, went to therapy(still go). I just feel like he's not the one.

    And now I have met someone else. And he is by no means perfect but I feel happy when I am with him. Is it love? Feels like it but who knows? I thought I was in love before with my husband.

    Could it be that he is my soulmate/twin flame and my husband is not.

    I feel like the right thing to do is to stick it out but I really don't want to. It doesn't feel right. I know its not always supposed to be fireworks...but how much work are you suppose to put into it?

    Your thoughts? Please don't judge me harshly.

  • Leonessa, I feel you judge yourself more harshly than anyone else does.

    I feel what you really need is a partner who challenges you, pushes you to your mental limits, and helps you to think outside the box. I don't feel either of these men does that - they are 'safe' options. Dare to look for someone a bit more unconventional and whose opinions and worldview are different to yours.

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