He's back, now what!



  • He showed up at my house this morning after a month being gone. Now what do I do?



  • Well, you would have to give us a little more information. Why was he gone...Was it by mutual consent that he left, did he just up and disappear. Do you want him back...If not does he love you and want you back...we need a lil more details....



  • he left for another woman,(he thought the grass was greener on the other side) so today he tells me she was arrested for stealing( like I care). We were together for 17 years, she was his rebound from me. So after not talking to him or seeing him( for a month he says give him 30 days) he comes back to not only tell me about her, but to tell me he is not seeing anyone (like I care anymore). I don't know if he loves me ( I don't love him I don't trust him)I guess i am just someone to fill in while she is gone. My feelings have changed toward him he hurt me very bad, his addictions made me lose my house, she was the love(lust) of his life he was so in love with her but she used him like he used me what goes around comes around I say. I lost the challenge toward him> I don't want him fixing my car(which he saw me doing this morning)

    I don't want him doing anything for me anymore but I would like to see how far this chase can go.



  • wow!!daamre, you seem to have gotten yourself together and rather more quickly than it takes a of us who have been with someone far less time! I have to say that I agree with what you say, dont let him weazel himself back into your life when he has made his life the way it is. he needs to lie in the bed he made. He is crawling back thinking you'll make everything better. I bet he will say and do anything to try to win you back, but I hope you stay strong, and that some of us can gather the strength you have! ((HUGS))



  • he says he is coming back for his golf clubs ,well I have news for him I sold them for the money he owed me. instead of giving me my money back ,he was giving her money so I sold everything that he has given me over the years. Letting him chase me now is that a good idea, even though I dont want him anynore? Just to see who far this will take? I mean he is patheic now



  • Allowing him to "chase you" will only be a band aid for your wonded female vanity. If you really don't want or love him cut him out now. Letting him back into your life for ANY reason is opening the door for him to hurt you again. Don't give him your last piece of dignity!

    Have the last say by shutting him out of your life. There is nothing worse than being a "non- person" in the life of someone you thoguht you could control, manipulate, etc..

    You can do it!



  • Hi dnnmre,

    Ask yourself one question: Theoretically, If you had a choice between drinking the finest wine in the world with the best caviar, or having cheap bargain basement liquor with scrambled eggs, which would you choose?

    This spud has clearly shown you how much he DOESN'T respect you by leaving you for another woman, you lost your home on his account......... what more do you need??? Kick his scruffy sorry ass* to the curb and look for someone who will love and respect you for the lovely soul you are. He must fix himself, you can't do it for him, please don't let him drag you down any further than you have already been taken. I've been there with my children's DAD it won't get any better, you will lose big in this mess. It is tempting to get revenge and watch him grovel because "he is pathetic" but it will only demean you.

    I feel you to be a good hearted person and like me, probably doesn't like being without a mate, but you can and will do better, just put it out into the universe about what you want and need in a mate, and work on loving and appreciating yourself and what you have to offer the right person.

    Remember..........you are special, and you deserve a special mate.

    Love and light,

    Sunshine



  • I agree with everyone's opinion. Do not allow this Weazel to do any more Damage...

    So your question..KNOW WHAT DO I DO?,

    Nothing, let him know that you are living well, and let him know that you Have Moved On...even if you've Only moved on with a Good Book, the Bathtub...or a candlelight dinner for one...Let him know that you have Moved on!.. Time to make yourself happy...and then believe it!...knowing what you know...YOU are the Winner, Your out of a Bad Relationship, available to work on making you happy, and ready for a Relationship of Substance, that doesn't Hurt so much....Don't allow him to demean you ever again by seeing how long the chase will go on...You already know it will probably go on until she is out of jail.. ..Let him know how Happy You Are Without Him!!!

    The Best Revenge...Is living Well.



  • HealingWater, you said it best..........The BEST revenge is living well. You got it totally in a nutshell!!



  • My ex kind of did the same thing. He had feelings for a woman that reappeared in his life and I bowed out of the equation. He has come back too and is still trying to figure out this relationship with her. My best revenge....I am very happy and satisified without him. He cannot comment enough on how happy I appear to be and not stressed out and loving life. He wants it since he's not finding happiness where he's at. He needs to run this relationship to the end and see where it leads. For me....I'm taking care of myself...loving myself and being happy and content with the way things are with me. I do appreciate myself and tell myself daily how much I love myself and deserve to be with someone who respects and loves me. I know that I will attract that person to me and it will be because I love myself. I trust that the universe will take care of me and make sure that I am happy. I just have to put forth the first efforts of taking care of myself and setting boundaries with people who want to drain me. :0) You can do this...you can definitely do this and stay here on the forums. There is much love and support here. I know since this place is what healed me. Blessings to you.



  • You cannot get ahead while you're getting even...



  • your right,,,,,,He showed up today to give my son aomething that he asked him for, then tells me "have great life" so I said Its better then yours turns around asks me 'what you have boyfriend' and laughs I said 'I dont go asking you about your love life dont go asking me' He was dumb founded. I ws so proud of myself



  • your right showing him that my living well is the best revenge that I have ever had