ASCLAC part 2



  • as the day went on yesterday i felt like a weight had been lifted off me. every day is a new day so i dont know how today will go, but so far i feel lighter. i am releasing my hold over the situation with scorp, and it is feeling better. much better. i think i have been placing so much emphasis on getting it right, on him, on what he is doing right or wrong,on how he makes me feel, on the time thing ...that i have not been noticing how i have been really feeling about him. him as a person completely separate to me.. i need to start getting really honest about who i am as a person. stop trying to water myself down.

    my counselling session went well. i always enjoy my chats there. very stimulating for my brain!

    I spoke to him about me and scorp getting counselling and he gave me a number of a woman who is a counsellor who he thinks is very good , so i will run that past scorp first. as far as him calling i know him and he procrastinates, so better if i just do it. but i will need another signal that he wants to go ahead with it. as long as i keep in my mind that it is a joint venture. which really it is because he suggested it in the first place.



  • as the day went on yesterday i felt like a weight had been lifted off me. every day is a new day so i dont know how today will go, but so far i feel lighter. i am releasing my hold over the situation with scorp, and it is feeling better. much better. i think i have been placing so much emphasis on getting it right, on him, on what he is doing right or wrong,on how he makes me feel, on the time thing ...that i have not been noticing how i have been really feeling about him. him as a person completely separate to me.. i need to start getting really honest about who i am as a person. stop trying to water myself down.

    my counselling session went well. i always enjoy my chats there. very stimulating for my brain!

    I spoke to him about me and scorp getting counselling and he gave me a number of a woman who is a counsellor who he thinks is very good , so i will run that past scorp first. as far as him calling i know him and he procrastinates, so better if i just do it. but i will need another signal that he wants to go ahead with it. as long as i keep in my mind that it is a joint venture. which really it is because he suggested it in the first place.



  • oops! sorry for the two posts not sure what happened there..



  • i just want to add that i found out just then that pluto went retrograde yesterday.. ha! well that explains alot!

    saturn has turned retrograde too...........ah the plot thickens



  • A lot of stuff is posting twice... whats up with that???



  • hey moon,

    maybe this thread has a virus and that explains why we are all sick in the head!!!! hmm although this is just a recent occurance.. perhaps it means that the thread is suffering its own ache in the heart and brain for weeks of listening to our rambles and is getting some kind of malfunction?? or we have split personalities? double vision?

    maybe its a sign of things to come.......



  • Shorty- just wanted to say Hi and Happy Easter before I head off to bed I have had no time to catch up with you all I am living in chaos world,

    Shorty, please just join us from where ever you start up... before you know it you'll be up to speed. Dont feel obligated to read it all 😉

    still NO word from cancer BTW ...and it is Easter so I sent off a friend and Family Email a bit ago(which included him)

    Has he responded yet?

    I think I have fallen off his radar...

    I highly doubt that seeing as you two have kids together and every time he talks to the kids you're back on his radar for better or for worse... and the same goes for you to him.

    I have been focusing on my life though and busy because of it.

    That's good to do anyway... but I promise... IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO FALL OFF THE RADAR.

    I will seriously try to catch-up with everyone in the PM so sorry if I have been lacking in the help department and I hope everyone is well, BIG HUGS to you all. Peace, and Good night.

    Awww, miss you shorty, join whenever you want.... and really, dont feel like you have to "catch up". That's just plain old insane ..lol..

    How was your holiday anyway?



  • there there thread its ok we are here for you...cos your here for us... in fact we NEEEED you, thread. dont leave us!!!!!!!

    fine thread do what u want. i dont care.

    whats up thread? you ok?

    threaaaaddddd talk to meeeeee!! i dont know whats happening?? one minute you were fine and then bam! change . and i dont understand why??? whats going on????????????

    thread...!! blah blh BLAH BLAH blah blah THREAD!!!! blah blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH.....( hmm deja vu)

    reset.



  • Lua- So what do I want? I want a chance to learn, grow, become a better person learn to love someone as well as learn to love myself, learn to comminicate, learn to be gentle, kind, heal my wounds, learn to give up my ego, learn to be soft, understanding, secure about myself, etc..

    Lua, I may be off base here but I think that we may learn all those things from loving ourselves. Your wounds must be very deep and painful. I wonder if part of you is scared to let go and just fall for the fear you'll get hurt seems very great to you.

    Somebody once told me that I'll never be able to love another until I love myself. I'm still working on my eating issues, but for me... they were very right.

    As for giving up your ego, my ex is a Leo and his ego is like his shield, his defense.

    As long as cancer gives me that opportunity, as long as I am learning and growing without detriment to myself then I feel that's where I should be.

    Aww Lua- you must have very deep scars indeed. Your armor is so thick.

    but if the pain is more than the growth and it prevents me from growing and going forward, then it's time to move on.

    Pain SOMETIMES = facing truth hidden deep in us. The truth hurts. It's a cold hard mirror.

    Lua- Please dont be mad at me for posting this but (Oh no! I am going to duck down!) but I think until you face whatever demon is hurting you... this whole relationship... any relationship will be hard for you.

    I dont know what it is that caused such brusing but maybe facing it head on and addressing it will help allow you to LET YOURSELF relax in a loving state.

    Or.... maybe I am way off base again. Ugh... if I am then sorry.



  • everything ok stranger? that was one crazy post ..lol..

    brb, going back a page or two... again... lol...



  • Kel to moon- "do you find that people pour their hearts/lives out to you really quickly?"

    If I want... most times I can get people to confess their entire life to me. I can be sneaky about it too.

    i've been talking ot aries all day...and i've already got him spilling things...

    Be careful, those Aries have a tendency to get you hooked... then hoodwink you! Ahhh... I forgot, you've delt with one before, you know that.

    it honestly makes me feel very alone lol don't know how to explain it

    Alone because you're not talking about yourself and letting him get to know you? Is that what you mean?



  • Flow- I emailed Scorp this afternoon. Something funny happened at work and I thought he'd enjoy it. I have not heard back, but the goal is not response.... the goal is to stay in his line of sight right?

    Tomorrow, we are doing something WAY cool at work and I wanted to tell him about it. It should be on the news and I want him to know I was part of it. Is it too much to eamil it to him after we're done? That would mean I emailed him everyday since seeing him.

    I can take the weekend off from emailing him after that and no email until sunday or Monday... would that be ok?

    Or if I go from everyday this week to No email on the weekend does it look like I am mad that he is not responding.

    Because i'm not.

    Or does it look like I am playing games...

    Because I'm not. Just trying to stay on the radar as shorty would say...

    Ugh! One Typical Cancer over analizing session please...... coming right up!



  • Kel and Katie- the Sagg never text me or called me today/tonight. I cant figure out how he plays himself.

    I know kel said he would break... and he did with the easter greeting... but.... that was it for texts.... and I see he's nervous around me.... I am confused on this one a bit.

    Is my silence good or bad? I'm not sure. I'll stay silent just in case....

    advice?

    Oh, BTW- katie that crab of yours.... sooooo smitten!



  • SV- you're on my mind. Hope all is well.



  • Stranger-as the day went on yesterday i felt like a weight had been lifted off me. every day is a new day so i dont know how today will go, but so far i feel lighter. i am releasing my hold over the situation with scorp, and it is feeling better. much better.

    Girl.. YAY! I hope you stay strong. They are hard to let go of, I know, Mine stayed in my heart forever cause me to do crazy things like start threads on tarot forums ..lol.. I never looked into astrology beofr him really. THAT is what loving a Scorp will do to you! ..lol..

    i think i have been placing so much emphasis on getting it right, on him, on what he is doing right or wrong,on how he makes me feel, on the time thing ...that i have not been noticing how i have been really feeling about him. him as a person completely separate to me..

    And how do you feel about him now?

    i need to start getting really honest about who i am as a person. stop trying to water myself down.

    That's true of us all at times. Careful, like I told Lua, the truth can hurt us sometimes. BUT from that kind of hurt we can heal ourselves. I believe that 100%.

    my counselling session went well. i always enjoy my chats there. very stimulating for my brain!

    That's great. I'm glad you're getting help with this situation where you live.

    I spoke to him about me and scorp getting counselling and he gave me a number of a woman who is a counsellor who he thinks is very good , so i will run that past scorp first.

    OMG! I hope he agrees to go.

    as far as him calling i know him and he procrastinates, so better if i just do it. but i will need another signal that he wants to go ahead with it.

    Will this be for you two together in a session or just him?

    as long as i keep in my mind that it is a joint venture. which really it is because he suggested it in the first place.

    The fact that he is suggested it.... and if you can get him to go... stranger, actions with Scorps ARE their word sometimes. That can be good and that can be bad. In this situation... it would be very good.

    I hope he goes.



  • g'night all. Be safe.



  • oh, flow, you never did tell me... anything from Libra? I hate when I get so self centered. Sorry.

    Oh, and did your son see your ex for the holiday? My ex took the kids for dessert and you think he parted the red sea he was so .... I dunno. I had them all day... he gets them for dessert and he's all "I do everything" Oh Paaaleeeze. ..lol.. Men.

    sorry kel, sweetie pie your the exception 😉



  • katie -

    " now i let it work out. i really really wont mention it anymore to him. "

    Good plan 😉 You're setting his brain on FIRE! hehehe Bad girl you 😉

    " try to not confuse Aries with silence, but try to communicate. i mean maybe it is really really hard for you being a cancer to speak out things."

    Thank you for this, I do forget what it's like to be on the OTHER side of dealing with a Cancer. I go silent on people and then get confused as to why they get upset, because I forget that people aren't mind readers lol

    "so imagine, he writes me back that he is running to shop but he thought he would come to meet me, but if i am busy, then tomorrow.

    dunno does it mean he still wants me to back off and tell i can meet him? i should stick to my plans or? "

    Definitely go meet your friend!!!!!! Do not cancel your plans for him!!!

    moonbeauty -

    "You mean they are all fed up with YOU! HA!!! The Fish- wants you to stop the "muscle" on the Scorp, The Scorp wants you naked, The Libra- wants you..... NAKED TOO! ..lmao!.."

    I'm not sure if Libra wants me naked...I'm thinking he might be jealous that there might be something here between Aries and myself, he's been having bad luck wiht dating (I think it's because he's so indecisive).

    But it's like COME ON! I was around and single for so long NOW you jerks want my attention? Jeez

    "OMG! Kel, the guy is so nervous around me. "

    YOU ARE LOVIN THIS SO MUCH!! lol you deserve a little flirty fun after all that junk with Scorp

    "Still, just to be on the safe side... I'm going to stay back, let Sagg come to me.

    Scorp IM you today? "

    Yes let the Sagg come to you...lay the trap, let the Sagg run into it hehehe And nope, no IMs from Scorp today 🙂

    "Alone because you're not talking about yourself and letting him get to know you? Is that what you mean? "

    Yea probably this

    "I know kel said he would break... and he did with the easter greeting... but.... that was it for texts.... and I see he's nervous around me.... I am confused on this one a bit.

    Is my silence good or bad? I'm not sure. I'll stay silent just in case...."

    D*amn girlie! Relax!!! 🙂 It's only been a day. He already broke once today. I told you if you act normal/silent, he'll be all up in your junk by the end of the week. This is just day 1 of breaking him down, he's getting up his courage 🙂

    "sorry kel, sweetie pie your the exception 😉 "

    No you're right, we suck lol

    Lua -

    :So what do I want? I want a chance to learn, grow, become a better person learn to love someone as well as learn to love myself, learn to comminicate, learn to be gentle, kind, heal my wounds, learn to give up my ego, learn to be soft, understanding, secure about myself, etc."

    Wow Lua, that is an amazing answer

    Adventure Girl -

    I think if I deleted them, they would just be mine only, everyelse's would stay

    I think Aries is coming on a bit strong because he did things like look up my screen name and message me (he got it from my facebook so no big deal), he drove by my work and said hey! i stalked you today and drove by your work, is it X building? (he works on the same street just like 10 minutes further down, so again not a huge deal).

    I think I'm just making a bigger deal out of things than they really are, I think I'm just afraid to let someone close again after the whole Scorp deal

    You are making progress girly! 🙂 I'm happy to see that

    "perhaps it means that the thread is suffering its own ache in the heart and brain for weeks of listening to our rambles and is getting some kind of malfunction?? or we have split personalities? double vision?"

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  • Moon, I used to think like you. I do agree that we cannot love another until we love ourselves, but learning to love oursleves is a process that takes a lifetime. There are always parts of ourselves we can grow to love more and to completely accept. Loving ourselves is a process we go through by allowiing others to show us parts of ourselves that need healing.

    At first I tried to learn this on my own, I spent 14 years without a relationship believing this was true, I was determined to learn to love myself before I loved someone else again, I did learn alot and grow, but by avoiding relationships with the excuse "I'm working on myself" I only got to a certain point. It's easy to feel secure and independent when no one is pushing your buttons, it's easy to overlook so many things. It's totally a great idea to go one or 2 years working on yourself but 14 years? I went to a meditation retreat a few years ago and someone said "You really can't grow fully unless you have relationships..I've also read a few books on the topic, I forgot the names of the books, but the real point of relationships is for your partner to show you (by being themselves) the parts of yourself you need to work on.

    So if someone keeps showing up in your life that makes you lose patience, perhaps you are sopposed to learn pateince. If someone you feel insecure, that's something you need to look at. It's like they are holding up a mirror in front of your face to learn about yourself. You cannot go isolate yourself in a cave to go "learn to love yourself". You learn to love yourself by interacting with others and allowing people to see yourselves in a deeper way.

    Can anyone else relate to this and explain to moon what I am talking about?

    I think one of the books was "keeping the Love you Find"

    It explains why we are attracted to people that bring up similar pain we experienced from our parents in childhood, and has exercises for you to analyze it. It brings up wounds we need healing, ..it's not like the other person is supposed to heal you, they bring up the wounds and it's your responsibility to heal yourself by having to look at it.



  • moon to lua to moon to me to them..

    hmmm... interesting..

    for where i am right now.. love is....................

    a state of flux.

    and THAT is certain.

    if everything is linked ... then we are constantly moving and changing.

    i do not believe i linear time, so therefore to reach a point of loving yourself is a point. and then what? its the yin and the yang the light and dark the up and the down the round and round... man woman life and death

    its like happiness. who the f.uck is always happy. the dalai lama would be lying if he said he was always happy. i think there needs to be polar opposites in order to bring truth to each .

    and if there was no discovery then we would all sign off here right now. there would be no need to converse on this post any more.

    lua that last paragraph i can relate to.

    its like the lone wolf. it mates for life.things are never what they seem.

    we all have our hurts and our pain and its ok to have that and if it heals or it doesnt is ok too. i think there is so many ways to look at things, it doesnt have to be one way.

    i mean who the f.uck really knows what happens when we die?