ASCLAC part 2



  • now I feel depressed 😞



  • Lua>> why do you feel depressed???



  • Sometimes you just have to feel your emotions and cry..



  • i know Lua, but what makes you feel depressed? something that moon told? or just so, cause you miss him?



  • I feel like so stupid..lack of communication really messes things up..



  • he totally denied everything and made me feel stupid..He said he totally forgot that I was in Manila until March 29, and he didn't tell me he was calling from Manila because I didn't ask...he didn't call me the last few days because he was flying round trip flights..he didn't want to see my point of view at all...so I just shut up..he wouldn't let me say anything..jumped all over me..:(



  • Lua- how did you two leave things off?



  • Lua>> i think he does this for self-protection. but not sure... lets see what moon and kel say!



  • He got really defensive, I wasn't attacking him, I talked in a soft voice, but he still acted like a crab getting attacked and fought full force with his pinchers out..I nearly started crying...but I just shut up.he turned it around and made it sound like I was stupid for getting angry with him and misinterpreting things...so I just shut up..he was very cold after that and said he had to go because he was still packing, but he's been on the skype all night, probably talking to people in Brazil.



  • Lua- "he totally denied everything and made me feel stupid"

    That was to avoid making himself look bad. (I do this sometimes when I really screw up and cant wiggle out of it)

    ..He said he totally forgot that I was in Manila until March 29, and he didn't tell me he was calling from Manila because I didn't ask...

    Same thing as above...

    he didn't call me the last few days because he was flying round trip flights.

    Because he didn't want to "face the music" I think could be the reason.

    he didn't want to see my point of view at all...

    This??? hmmmmm.... kel?

    so I just shut up..

    That's what he wants... you to stay quiet and not fight with him.

    he wouldn't let me say anything..jumped all over me.

    That is defense tactic. I am certain of it.



  • Katie>> hi Moon! you know whenever i read your and Kel's comments on my situation (now i mean from the angle of a crab) it makes me feel so much better. when im not negative, i do feel that he does not consider me only a fling or something, but hearing the opinion of crabs is really asurring. 🙂

    Lua>>You mean when you are feeling negative you feel like he's considering you to be only a fling? NO way! If he wanted only a fling he would have minced with you right away this time around too!! A sure sign when a guy is going slow is that he does not want a fling!



  • Lua- run this by kel... now, you would really have to think it over... REALLY THINK IT OVER.... and you would have to prepare yourself for any out come...

    What if you said to him "look, this isnt working for me anymore, so lets find a way to make it work for the two of us, because to continue like this, to me, is pointless"

    BUT LUA, YOU GOTTA BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST!

    I dont reccomend doing this if you're not ready/want to 100%.

    I did this with my Scorp... the difference was that I walked away. I was devistated forever.... as you have seen in this thread ..lol..

    I still am not near a relationship with him BUT I can say.... I think we may have one in the future.... I hope.

    It was just the way that we were.... it was not working for me...

    I will say though, I think he loves me... and by walking away he knows what I want from him. It's up to him to see if he wants to give it to me.... and me to see if I am willing to wait.

    His form of communication.... it does not seem to be working for you. You're sad, and lonely. That's the reason we fall in love... to try an avoid those two felings.

    Ask kel what he thinks... kel???



  • There is a reason why he is acting like this... either he feels upset from the lack of being near you.... and is acting all weird about it and does not know how to properly relay his feelings (normal cancer thing)

    or maybe he is confused about you, himself, work, any number of things and needs his "his time".

    I dunno Lua.

    I feel so bad for you... this must be hurting you so much 😞



  • The tech people said they can remove all the old posts of mine, let me know when you want me to go ahead and give the order, I can ask them to keep "ASCLAC...page 2" from being deleted

    Shorty -

    Hey busy lady!!! Let me know when you're less busy and we can start up our FB convos again 🙂 Didn't wanna bug ya with the new job and everything

    Watch for control issues with Aries? You mean me controling him? Or him controling me?

    "I almost feel sorry for him."

    Ummm...key word ALMOST! lol He deserves everything that's coming to him

    adventure girl -

    Thanks for the advice, youre right, it is MY thing with Aries. I will keep stricter boundaries with Libra

    I hope you're feeling better

    Flow -

    I blame my lack of sleep!!! lol

    How about instead I call you...much younger, much better looking sister Flowsco 🙂

    Or just Flowsco, maybe that's easier lol

    Katie -

    "im very good manipulating in a not offending way, like a little cutsie child. i left it at that anyways, just wanted him to have it in his system, so that he thinks about it."

    LOL!! Good job 🙂 the trick is to keep them thinking about you...wanting more 😉

    You made him brownies?? Good 😉 we love when you cook for us!

    "i start to believe that the more independent i am... the less im sitting at home... the less 'security' he has that i am granted... so the more he'll come after me... :)"

    Exactly!

    Your guy is so afraid of rejection! haha Just gotta give him a little smack or two 🙂 I'm sure it will fade with time though. He's got Cancer in venus (how he acts in love) and Cancer in mercury (how he communicates), now it makes more sense haha so siddeeewwaayyyysssss

    "so Kel, when i'm positive i think he really really likes me incredibly much, he is just REALLY that slow... god give me patience! :)"

    Your guy does the SWEETEST thigns for you and says the sweetest things, I am so jealous!!!!!!! He does like you a lot, he likes to make you happy 🙂 awwwww 🙂

    "so look, maybe the universe is sending you something good too??? it is always worth to wait... LOL (looks who talks... ms. impatience 2010 LOL)"

    LOL!!!!! I am impatient too but I'm trying really hard not rush into anything, although he is moving a little fast I feel. But I can slwo him down 🙂 and I'm looking at it this way, the universe sent me 2 decent guys once I got my act together and started making myself happy. So even if Aries doesn't work out, there will be more coming my way 🙂

    Moon -

    I'm preparing myself for when Scorp takes out his big guns. I can't fall for his sh*t or I'll be back at square one. Like I said, he's goign to have to drive to my house and beg me at my doorstep - and the saddest part is? he won't even realize how far he's going to have to go, he's still going to think that I should be crawling to him...self-centered a$$

    Not sure on my Aries situation yet...he's coming off a little...strong...not sure hwo I feel about that

    I knew Sagg would break first! Patience young grasshopper, he won't be able to outplay you, they aren't patient enough

    "but he is a Sagg and needs to run... run... run.. after me! Who am I to prevent him from running?"

    LOL!!!!!! Exactly!

    Soooo, I'm not sure about this but I think Libra might be trying to make me jealous now? Or get my attention or something? We have a very "straight guy" relationship where we talk about sex and who we're banging, but we havne't done that in a while, in fact, I've kind of been cold to him lately in the sense where I haven't been telling him about my life or what's going on with it. I have otherwise been normal towards him...so anyways today he says to me "so i've been sleeping with this surgeon from (town near kel), it's like the hottest sex ever" so i go "haha nice, how'd you meet him?" then he tells me, and i go lol!! cuz it was funny, then later he says "but omg yea, so hot!" ....... this isn't abnormal conversation for us, but it felt a little different, there was too much "omg he's so hotttt!" usually he has something bad to say about them too (typical balancing Libra, gives a compliment and an insult lol) but there was none to be had here...hmmm....i swear these boys are so f-ed up - Libra, Scorp and Pisces all deserve to be together in their little twisted vortex of sh*t!

    Loved your Aries story - my Aries story is very similar. I chased an Aries girl for about a year before we were together lol Ended badly but we were young

    Your Sagg was nervous signing the papers in front of you? Heheheheheh You're in BALLS deep with this guy - the games you two will play will keep you very occupied for some time, I can see it lol

    Lua -

    Sorry to get you paranoid hehe I did a dumb thing synchronizing all my user names. Luazinha is a cute name, "little moon" i really like that

    " I don't want him to go to Brazil with bad feelings and this whole miscommunication hanging over us"

    Yea it's prob a good idea to clear the air

    "I asked him what he did there and he said "I'm an astrolger" Nuf said!"

    HAHA!

    "Seems to be a recurring theme here, all of us need to focus more on ourselves and take care of our lives..we are sometimes too consumed by how someone else makes us feel...maybe the common lesson here is for us all to love ourselves more?"

    Yea I noticed this too, and it's not until we focus on ourselves that any of us ever seem to get anywhere

    Lua - Moon

    Moon you are confusing her lol I totally understand your theories and your way of thinking, but I don't think anyone else can follow how we process things lol

    "That was to avoid making himself look bad. (I do this sometimes when I really **** up and cant wiggle out of it)"

    Yup! he screwed up big time

    "he didn't want to see my point of view at all...

    This??? hmmmmm.... kel?"

    Because he was in the WRONG! He knows it, he doesn't need to be reminded of it

    "What if you said to him "look, this isnt working for me anymore, so lets find a way to make it work for the two of us, because to continue like this, to me, is pointless"

    BUT LUA, YOU GOTTA BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST!"

    I would only recommend this as a last ditch effort and when you're prepared to walk away. I don't think you're at that stage yet. Maybe now is the time when you send him a well thought out email explaining what you would like to see from him. This way he can read it and process it during his time in Brazil



  • MOON>> IMHO, I think he's in love with you 10000 times more than you think. I also think from your past reactions toward him without realizing it you made him hunt. Good Job!

    After reading this I think Lua it is most likely one of two things...

    1. he has a 100% fear of getting attached to you.... I would. Have you two discussed the age thing? Does it bother him? Or more importantly doe HE think it bothers YOU?

    2. The WOW factor. That may be playing a part in this behavior with him.

    Kel, do you agree? he chased and chased for years and finally caught the object of his desire and now the thrill may be less? I dunno.

    Lua- this could be one of the two things I mentioned. IF he was any other sign I'd lean toward number 2 BUT being a cancer... I am fairly certain it's number 1.

    Lua- I am doing it again, confusing you i think. What I mean to say in plain English is YES, HE CAN CHASE BUT I DONT THINK HE IS I THINK HE IS SCARED TO GET ATTACHED BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM HIS AGE WAS AN ISSUE FOR YOU.

    Moon, this time you did not confuse me, because I have also considered these too options...I do hope it's number one, in fact when he first started showing signs of detachment I thought it could be #1. Especially because being a cancer and I know cancers are afraid of getting hurt and being that I've hurt him before. Then maybe I thought it was #2..because he stopped being verbally affectionate to me..whenever he called or emailed me he was friendly but not intimate..but that could be the result of #1 too...

    As far as the age thing goes, we have not discussed it, it was an issue for me when he was 19, but not because I was older, but because he was 19..teenager...I also had joke broken up with a 20 year old guy I was dating and the main reason was because he was immature...Funny thing, Cancer's father, Captain A would come dive with me at the shop where I worked and my 20 year old ex (Aqua) used to get jealous of Captain A.. Captain A was much older than me but I used to hang out with him after dives, go to dinner with him etc, he had a great sense of humor and just fun to hang out with. Immature Aqua boy would accuse me of wanting to sleep with the captain. Captain A used to say "How old is your boyfriend? When are you going to stop baby sitting?" And Aqua was 1 year older than Cancer, so how could I get involved with him after his father said something like that to me?

    The age is not an issue right now..as people get older, the gap is less obvious..and I look much younger than I am and I've always gone out with younger men.

    If it is #1 what do I do?

    if it's #2 do I increase my degree of difficulty and give him the thrill of the chase again?



  • Lua>>You mean when you are feeling negative you feel like he's considering you to be only a fling? NO way! If he wanted only a fling he would have minced with you right away this time around too!! A sure sign when a guy is going slow is that he does not want a fling!

    Katie>> yes Lua, sometimes i think he has other reasons to date me than simply liking me. it is so stupid i know. cause then i start to think that good signs are:

    1. i am not rich. (LOL, he cant want my money)

    2. he is not pushing to mince, rather the opposite.

    3. he has all plans with me for the future.

    4. he says really nice things to me and does really awsome things to make me happy.

    so i could not really say anything negative in his behavior, except of being slow, but that i cant list as negative thing, cause he is simply just like that and i have to accept it if he is really important for me.

    i think that the source of all negative thoughts are routing in me. me thinking too less of myself. so i really instead of analyzing his actions (which i will go on doing anyways) have to make clear for myself that i am the problem for myself and it has nothing to do with him. 🙂



  • Katie to Kel: "im very good manipulating in a not offending way, like a little cutsie child. i left it at that anyways, just wanted him to have it in his system, so that he thinks about it."

    Kel: LOL!! Good job 🙂 the trick is to keep them thinking about you...wanting more 😉

    You made him brownies?? Good 😉 we love when you cook for us!

    Katie: well Kel, i could not think of any other weapon than plant it into his head that it makes me 'sad' that he never stays. now i let it work out. i really really wont mention it anymore to him.

    Kel: Your guy is so afraid of rejection! haha Just gotta give him a little smack or two 🙂 I'm sure it will fade with time though. He's got Cancer in venus (how he acts in love) and Cancer in mercury (how he communicates), now it makes more sense haha so siddeeewwaayyyysssss

    Katie> today i went through his chart again and then i thought the same Kel. Cancer in Venus and in mercury (communication!!!)... it all just makes the thing stronger... then put to it moon in scorp and no surprise. rather i should be surprised for all what he is already doing. and i must say i feel that 'in words' i retreated so much that actually he is the one that always says it was great to be with me, how much he loves to spend time with me, how cute i am etcetc...

    Kel: LOL!!!!! I am impatient too but I'm trying really hard not rush into anything, although he is moving a little fast I feel. But I can slwo him down 🙂 and I'm looking at it this way, the universe sent me 2 decent guys once I got my act together and started making myself happy. So even if Aries doesn't work out, there will be more coming my way 🙂

    Katie: just one suggestion Kel if you take it... however slow you wanna go, try to not confuse Aries with silence, but try to communicate. i mean maybe it is really really hard for you being a cancer to speak out things. but make sure that he feels/knows you like him a lot, you just want things slower. 🙂



  • Kel> ps. today he wrote me when he woke up, but did not mention any meeting (though last night he told he hopefully comes back today). so i just answered and told him that i am still working (after 4pm) and then have to meet a friend shortly.

    so imagine, he writes me back that he is running to shop but he thought he would come to meet me, but if i am busy, then tomorrow.

    dunno does it mean he still wants me to back off and tell i can meet him? i should stick to my plans or?



  • Kel- "Soooo, I'm not sure about this but I think Libra might be trying to make me jealous now? Or get my attention or something?

    After reading this story... I think he is....

    We have a very "straight guy" relationship where we talk about s*ex and who we're banging, but we havne't done that in a while, in fact, I've kind of been cold to him lately in the sense where I haven't been telling him about my life or what's going on with it. I have otherwise been normal towards him...

    He is wondering why I bet... but... why have you been doing this? Cause he's been moody?

    so anyways today he says to me "so i've been sleeping with this surgeon from (town near kel), it's like the hottest s*ex ever"

    That's called "I wanna make you jealous 101"

    so i go "haha nice, how'd you meet him?" then he tells me, and i go lol!! cuz it was funny, then later he says "but omg yea, so hot!" .......

    That's called "You did not have the reaction I expected/wanted from Jealousy 101 so I will have to try again, and make it very noticeable so you can really get jealous this time"

    this isn't abnormal conversation for us, but it felt a little different, there was too much "omg he's so hotttt!" usually he has something bad to say about them too (typical balancing Libra, gives a compliment and an insult lol)

    My 2 BF's are BOTH Libra's and do that exact same thing!!!

    i swear these boys are so f-ed up - Libra, Scorp and Pisces all deserve to be together in their little twisted vortex of sh*t!

    You mean they are all fed up with YOU! HA!!! The Fish- wants you to stop the "muscle" on the Scorp, The Scorp wants you naked, The Libra- wants you..... NAKED TOO! ..lmao!..

    Good work Kel!

    OMG! Sagg walked in while I was typing my response to you and I asked him a quick question... then he walked by again... and I bearly even looked at him. Now he is walking by me again but people keep popping up in his way. ..lol.. This poor guy, he has no idea what to do with me. I think he wants to talk to me... but cant seem to get the chance... ..lol.. he just put papers in the mail box-- and his hands were shaking again. OMG! Kel, the guy is so nervous around me. Hmmm.... I wonder why he wont just text me... I bet he's waiting to see if I text him! HA-HA! No such luck Saggie, I'll wait. You're making my day sooooo fun!

    I think I really like this. I am sooooooo flattered! He's woo-ing me without even trying!

    Shoot! I never responded to shorty or stranger. I gotta go back and re-read. Darn, sorry guys!

    Hey, flow... come out, come out where ever you are.....



  • Katie- you're the first thing he thought of in the morning???? Girl, boy is in LOVE!

    Kel- I'm good, I'll miss your old posts but.... I'll live. ..lol..