ASCLAC part 2
katie- I'll be back stand by....
Xtine- this was your post I just read…. Please read mine and see where I have dated it… I wish I could say it ends… so far for me… it hasn’t
Xtine scorp- "have a good Sunday and week I was just saying hi I had a really scary night and it made me realize how good of a person you are...which I already knew but not trying to bug you, just letting ya know"
Xtine to her scorp- I told him a week ago to let me go so I can move on since I couldnt do the friend thing.. He said ok and that he was gonna let time take its course...
April 29, 2010
Moon and her scorp: this has been a constant struggle between us. It kills me…. Everytime….
and it seems the more I get close to him.... the harder his hits... and they hurt. Ouch!
Moon (Oh, yes he did do this!!!!!) Moon to scorp: You asked me to hang out. i gave you a time and date when i was free.
you did not even acknowledge me... but instead called me to ask if i
could help you help another girl.
(I called him up and was sooooo annoyed)
and then you said that im 'giving you shit' because im angry??? of
course i am angry! how would you feel if i did that to you?
you're mean and cruel... and i know for certain... no matter what i
do... no matter what i say... or how i look... i'll never be good
enough in your eyes.
i may not be the best looking or the smartest woman but i am far from
ugly or stupid! oh, and you know what? i dont care what you think of
you dont want me? no big deal. im sweet and gentle and i have a good
heart. i am certain that i will find somebody who does!
Moons scorp said: My ex-wife is f-ing with my on a daily basis, to the point where I can't
think straight. Can you be a little more understanding?
April 30th 2010
Moon to her scorp via email to respond to his above response...
I can't play in your sandbox anymore. I don't understand the rules.
I kinda need you to forget that I even exist. Should not be too hard we hardly ever talk or see each other. When you call or eamil me it sets me right back to square one. I instantly drop anybody I am even talking to as I find myself comparing them to you and not measuring up. This is not good. I was seeing a really nice guy... and I tossed him out like a sack of potatos... for what??? I DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
I did the exact same thing when you asked me if I liked your website. All you do is call and I am like Ok, new guy, go away! I wont even let myself "be" with anybody. You're having $e% and not thinking of me.... and I wont do it because I think maybe, one day, if I get back together with you.... it would bother you. I'm not kidding. I always think things like.... "hmmmm he would never take me back if I slept with this guy, or if I did this or that" so I wind up becoming a 37 year old prude who bearly gives a kiss! WTF AM I DOING????????
Scorp, I am sweet, gentle, kind, rather cute and I want to be happy. Don't you want this for me? I believe you do. So, to do this you need to stop playing games with me and let me go.
Oh yes, you play games.... Games like....
In the past I have invited you out to movies, bars, clubs, restaurants.... and you never said yes, then tell me that you've asked me out, but when I tried to pin you down.... nothing. You'd disappear. Ouch.
(in the begining he'd always ask me out but I was in the middle of a divorce so it was too hard to get out alot.. and he knew this... I have 3 little ones)
"you don't look good enough" .... so I change, lose weight, change my hair.... and you don't even acknowledge me. Ouch.
Oh, and I know I look cute! Ouch, OUCH!
(oh, and I was and am still goodlooking... well, now I do look better but still! it's the point!!!!)
"I'm moving out of my house" and then you move in with another woman??? OMG! Do you have any idea how much that hurt? Ouch.
(He actually sent me an email that said "i'm moving out of my house"... he left out the part about the other woman)
Tell me you want to see me.... and then you don't. Ouch.
Tell me how great every other woman in the world is. Ouch.
I don't understand your motives.... if you even have any. I am a woman who thought you were one of the most amazing men I have ever had the privilege of meeting.
I think you like me.... but not enough... and it's so obvious you'll never let yourself fall in love with me. So, now do you see my problem?
That's not good enough for me and you're not in any position to have a girlfriend and if you are... that girl is not me. Besides, honestly, you kinda hurt me a little too much for my own comfort level. That scares me to be with you now. The fact that you could be so hurtful to me..... most times... unprovoked (do you hear the bells and whistles?).
Please do not contact me because I cant do this anymore with you...I hope you understand.
I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Scorp, this is MY closure to let you go so I can move on a find a man who really does love me.
My heart is so broken and you broke it....
I think it's only fair you let me have this so I can move on, forget all about you and feel better.
May 18, 2010 he asked if I was sure i didnt want to see him
I did not respond
May 19 he called and needed my help. I thought it was because he knew he was in trouble but after making some calls I'm not certain.
May 20 spent day together and had drunk phone call.... I think you know the rest right?
my point.... Its not you.... it's them.
Katie- your crab is hurt or mad about something you did to him. if he wasnt he'd just have given the photos with no remark... something is bugging him and he wants you to know what it is and why and how.... crabs do this.... when somebody hurts us we expect that they have this magic crystal ball and know exactly what and when they did the offense to us.... no, i am not kidding...
hold on, brb... i'm sneaking on the internet...lol...
Kel, help me out here....
Moon>> Kel thinks that he is hurt cause with asking back the photos from him i ENDED things with him. i told Kel, that i understand that for a crab two weeks is nothing, but for me two weeks ignorance and hiding and watching me from a distance how i suffer and struggle is breaking up with me and hurting me.
i asked back the photos, cause that was the last tie to him, now that i have them, i can get over him...
and well, i cant say im looking forward if wants to strike me again... but i do calculate that it is possible. not that i will take on the fight and answer it... i am very exhausted emotionally and all this inflicting pain does not fit to my picture of romance...
Moon- Lol thanks that helped actuallyo know im not the crazy one here. Its like I give him space so hewhat.. hits me up to tell me hi!? Ugh.. as I can see your scorp does the same thing... doesnt listen to what WE want or what WE say they only hear themselves and thier needs... so why do we continue to love them so much? Im not going to respond.. so lets see if he listens this time or does it again in a week or so..
&& I understand the dating thing... everytime I think of dating I go right into "Scorp is better".. Mainly because hes still around. Its like hes screaming I DONT WANT YOU RIGHT NOW BUT IM NOT LETTING YOU MOVE ON OR GO.... eventhough he told me he would..
Flow- Thanks flow.. im still waiting on SV lol but if you need to add please do..
Scorpvirgo- Ok ill check back here tonight... could really use some advice... Espeially after this sunday...I feel like he makes me start back at level 1 of healing everytime he writes me.. I told him what hes doing to me... its like his action says one thing and his words say another.. I hope your caught up on my story.. let me know what you think.
** TYPO- Lol thanks that helped actuall to know im not the crazy
Moon- oh and have you heard from your Scorp at all since you sent that gift and what he said to you? I tried catching up but dk if I missed anyting...?
Okay I read your post and yes forgiveness and all that comes with the territory isn’t easy. Yet I would really appreciate if you loved yourself too. And when someone like your ex aggravates you or turn things to the worst in your life...you take it out on him.
Learn to separate things. I know you have issues doing that because you have the same pattern with Scorpio on a personal and professional level.
“He also said that I'd better figure out a way to stay on his radar because the more he thinks about it.... just work.... wont work. “
I agree yet my concern is you. I would love for you to find some inner balance. Maybe pick up yoga or something that can calm you down. To achieve what your brother suggested you need to have some kind of calmness within you.
The thing is the way you analyzed everything where you bro agreed with you that is the Moon that should be in control of her thoughts at all time. Not only towards Scorp but in every aspect of your life.
“I told him it was scorps daughters b-day on June 6th and his first court date for his divorce. He told me if I wanted to I can call scorp and wish him good luck on the 5th for his daughters b-day only.... and not to bring up court and if scorp does to brinh... but he might still wait for scorps contact. He said to ask your opinion ..lol.. “
I know it’s hard but no. I had something similar but I decided not to interfere with the family aspect just yet. Especially since the court case is coming up. You don’t want to be his outlet at this moment. Let these events pass and when he calms down and still doing your work he will contact you. Then and ONLY then you can mentioned remembering the little girls b-day and ask how she spend it. That’s all. He will appreciate the thought and he will be less stressed to answer you about it. You do it now he will say thank you but it wouldn’t register...again.
Why?? As a father his feelings are not sorted out yet. In my case a few months has passed and I might do something for him for father’s day...I am not sure yet.
“I'm just getting scared because he said all he could give me right now was friendship. THAT'S what scares me. THAT'S why I'm insecure. But like my Libra BFF said... "Moon, be happy he offered that... he's not saying NO he's saying NOT NOW" “
I got a question. If this was anyone else? Not one of us here in this thread that has received this kind of “offer” on the table what would you tell them to do? Ignoring and not knowing all that happened. What would you tell that person to do? I have an idea but I want to hear you say something about this. And your answer doesn’t have to reflect your personal feelings.
“Also this period has been a learning experience for me as well“
I have seen this DXP written here and there but still don’t know what it is. Oh well.
Hmmm is it an anti Scorp thing?
You got a Pisces Moon and you do try to stay emotionally connected and you ask me if following him into emotional **** you won’t come out as a sane person.
Now Moon I think somewhere before this post I asked you to stop indulging yourself in negativity.
This sounds like it’s written by somebody who had a very very bad experience with Scorpions and decided to interpret in an astrological way. I have answered Kel, Adventures and you purely upon the situation at hand. I read astrology and I use it as a guideline but I follow my own mind and situation to act upon.
Anything that has a persistent negative vibe I skip. Got enough things going on in the real life to add this to the list of mental baggage.
I have to disagree that male Scorpio’s are emotional unstable and they all are set out to destroy your spirit along with his. What garbage. Sorry.
“THIS IS WHY YOU AND MY BROTHER SAID WAIT FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME AFTER THE PICTURE GIFT!!!!!!!“
Moon, honestly do you think that your brother and I could take a real life situation and we are both different people who never spoke to each other give you an advice that “happened” to coincide with your Scorp astrologically? No. shakes head
You are relating to much for my taste your personal situation to a written book by someone else. You are not only a person with a moon in Pisces. You are you...unique. Got it?!?
I could relate to your situation because mine is similar in certain areas and the age thing is also a factor. Nothing astrological. Yeah he happens to be a male Scorpio but that’s it.
Forgive me Moon...but I stopped half way reading that DXP thing. You are comparing your life to this thing. Not good. Perhaps it helps you understand but I couldn’t finish it.
How about collecting all what mainly your bro and I shared with you and reread that. Examples from Lolpet and comments from the others to help you focus.
“I have been crying and eating since this whole drunk phone call thing a week and a half ago and now I've gained 9.6 pounds!!!!!!! All I have been doing is crying and eating.. a whole lot!!!“
So you have spoiled all that hard work you put in the last couple of months to show off the other day? Hmmm what will you do if you ran into him at the weirdest place tomorrow?? Make up his mind and make him realize that he doesn’t need to miss you anymore? Damage all those beautiful memories of you the last three times he spent time with you? Girl get back into that gym and ease off the food.
“So I guess I'm supposed to date somebody while he gets his head on straight and if I find true love then great if not maybe scorp will want me somewhere down the line???“
No one is saying you have to. It is possible that you do run into someone. It’s very likely unless the Universe has other plans with you as it has had the last couple of weeks. If you find true love all that you have been through now will be of some use in the future.
Bro @ you “He'll regret his mistakes and likely not be so quick to repeat them “
Everybody learns from their mistakes if they are healthy minded human beings. I have as well...so will he and so will you.
“THE WATER MOON GIRL (ME) SITS HOME AND CRIES AND LOOSES HER MIND ON TAROT.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!“
OMG...LOL....sorry I had to laugh when I saw this. You’re not lost water moon girl.
We got your back.
I saw that Kel already answered you.
I don’t think it is much consolation on what you wrote but Libra doesn’t like his phone much and we (I) don’t have another means of communication other than that phone. And so therefore sometimes weeks passes by without me being able to get him on the phone or have a complete conversation. I text to share my mind and yes I don’t get an answer right away. I get an answer much more later. A complete answer but not when I wanted it.
What I am trying to say is that months ago I told you to get on with your life enjoy the new neighbours and see what life brings you. It brought you your crab but still you stood still just to be with him. Understand me well I am not saying that you didn’t go on with your life but you anticipated and secretly started expecting more when you wanted it....to be more.
Now you chose to stop the spinning and get off the treadmill. Good but don’t think because you got off the other runner doesn’t have something to say. And if he has issues with his ex. Remember it takes two to tango. Perhaps her behaviour has made him cautious towards you.
That’s the danger of having friends that has “inside info” on the person you are interested in. It’s never unbiased. She (the ex) is a female and she senses things.
So whatever else happens is up to you. Good luck and stay strong.
Sorry girl I had to double back to see what you posted...lol
Yeah that was a sick news report I heard early in the morning. Have you hear anything more about it? Once in a while we get some news from your end. lol
“sounds like he gets busy tho huh“
Yup it’s ridiculous yet he told me he is getting tired of it all. Being the bandleader and drummer and has a businesses to run.....yep..buzzy bee...lol
The whole conversation was unexpected because I truly only wanted to know what he shared with the new therapist yet I started telling him how cute he was and it took off. Yeah sleepover..lol. Going to take my yamas and have a pillow fight...LMAO. He was excited about that he hates sleeping alone...lol. Heard that so many times. We will see.
“it sounds like you are both being really supportive of each other.. so good“
Yeah I am working very hard on this. I need this for it to work between us ...my ex wasn’t and I have a strong suspicion his either. I need my space to do my thing and he surely needs his.
His whole attitude has been about this. I have been listening and observing for the longest of time.
“wel i would whack him with MY stick if he wasnt enthusiastic about your singing!“
LMAO!!! OMG...a downunder stick!!! LOL. I was pleasantly surprised because when I told him he actually asked me to sing in his band and I said no. And so to be so relaxed to tell him about my performance and for him to understand how important this is for me...well it made my heart jumped for a moment or two. My ex would never, never, never be this understanding.
My son’s grandmother told me it’s important to have things in common with your partner to talk about and to share. And she is right.
For Libra music is very important the day he left the phone line open and I listened to how he was coaching some guy on the arrangement was too cute to hear but also showed me the other side of him that I don’t get to see. I hope one day I do.
OMG Samantha got her groove at the end of the movie but how!!! LOL. I might have to pick up her book and see what and how she keeps it up at her age. Woman looks good.
“you are one patient chic.k“
Only because I think he is worth the time. Otherwise I would have been long gone. I don’t like headaches...lol. He isn’t an easy costumer..lol.
“really wish i had gone slower with scorp at the start.. sigh.“
Girl...I have done the fast thing too...so don’t think I have always been like this. So no envy thoughts or feelings. Just realize it’s possible so you know what you can do next time around with him or anyone else.
Tsk, tsk. Being sarcastic and all. Tsk, tsk.
I know your mama thought you better...lol. j/k
“I bet emotions were there too.... just laying low I'm certain... good ones at that! “
Yes emotions were there too. Scary to admit to them.
“ I get it nooooo pressure. Good working it. “
Yes, no pressure. To be honest I would want to stay as his client but it was frustrating me the way things were moving along and somewhere deep down I knew it would be better for me and possibly for us to develop something. And so now that things have been separated there is this kind of breathing space to explore.
“Well, I'm so glad THAT'S settled ....LMAO!!!!!!!.....“ &“As a Mommy I could NOT agree more young lady! ..lol.. “
You’re terrible but yeah. He was joking around about how we would keep my son awake. I was like you are a sick man...LOL.
“I would NEVER guess that a Scorpio male OR female would ever be indirect “
It’s a gift maybe??
“Wow, that's nice that you guys can talk like that. I like it.... building.... one block at a time“
Well I figured that he figured if he pushed and tugged he wouldn’t get anything out of me just as he does respond as well. I have told him once that we are much alike. And him being a cusp makes perfect sense.
The building is something of months Moon...not overnight. And also due to the fact that I showed him that I am different to many he has met and been with. Little things like the cake, the cards, the funny/se,xy texts, the deep thoughts. All contributed to where I am now. I showed who I am what fit with me and what he appreciated. I have often asked if he felt that I was stalking him. Look the man has a Pisces moon as you have and he is impatient but I told him that I was in no hurry ...I am still like that. So this is great...let’s see what happens between this convo and the next.
In your situation you got the mortar and the bricks...it’s just a matter of time when both can start working.
Night all... I will finish responding tomorrow it's already pass midnight got a long day ahead.
yeh no envy. i do feel now that this time has been really good for me to know what is holding me back personally. so much desire and racing heart when i have been with scorp..when i am by myself i am different.. not completely but seem to be able to be slower. spica and the seed and s.ex and the time inbetween!.. hey i am glad you appreciate my art, even though havent seen.. you understand what i am about i think. i am going to do some more on a new piece today.. just have to get out of this warm bed and make some porridge.. its so cold this morning brr!
hehe pillow fight! sounds like fun flow. he just sounds so gorgeous. i think its pretty amazing how he is managing his life. gotta have respect for that.
you know i have a gf who is a libra. i adore her.she is always upfront with what is going on for her and she never hides behind pretenses. she is creative and independant. she gets her head ina spin over love though, we do have some great convos! one thing that reminded me of her with how you described you and libra is ..the support thing.. it is something that is really important for her. we often will text each other -not phone calls so much.. supportive texts and honest texts of where we are at..i really value that. she also does massage! i used to as well. maybe it is a libra thing..
noticed you got a song picked out..great! im going to look at it online.. im not familiar.
I have my audition( again) in two weeks. ( vomit! i get so nervous!)so I also have to work out and pulled out my electric guitar- first time in ages, i havent played it much since i bought it. it was a good feeling.played one of my songs- no words yet.. he said it reminded him of that thomas dolby song " scare myself" - you know it? anyway... been learning a beth orton song, but my voice sounds crap. wondering if i should just stick to an instrumental for the audition. i like to sing tho ! could do a pj harvey song again. did her song for last audition and they liked it.
have a nice day!
i hope i didnt upset you. hope you are ok and its hard cos i dont really know the FULL story of you two.i understand if you just want to try to forget him.. then i wont encourage you to communicate with him if thats the case.xx
Adventure>> you did not upset me. No one on this thread can ever upset me, you can always speak your mind. i don't know whether i wanna forget him, it is not that easy, but one thing is for sure... i want a long break from him, for a while, i wanna rest myself and i don't really wanna initiate anything. i wanna be peaceful and not all the time bugged and all the time thinking.
i woke up this morning and the first e-mail i've seen in my mailbox was from him. he wishing me happy namesday and a good party on my language. i try not to see too many things behind it.
how are you?
Hi Flow! i understand what you are saying with Libra and the phone thing as only communication. and as you approached/approach your 'relation' is great that way, as you said, you are guarding your heart and take it really slow.
i haven't done that, so i could not behave that patient as you do. if we were still at the state of 'not dating', just getting to know each other as you are doing, i would not freak out that much.
but for me, if someone states i am his girlfriend=we are in a relationship... what he did is FOR ME (personally for me only) not a way to behave... you can say as much as "dear, i need a break to be alone" or whatever.. and i don't say i won't miss you or feel a bit sad, but you told me, so i understand. this way, i can't really handle it...
but Flow, it is all ok. really. i do get sad daily, but i feel the strenght in me, that i haven't had before. i always broke into pieces, now i feel strong and i feel i start to love myself and respect myself. and if this 'relationship' was not for anything else, then for this it was worth.
i most probably think that not just the recent ex, but generally his own life experience made him cautious... im sure he has a lot to deal with... so i really took a lot of steps back and i just let him free in my heart... and i remembered another saying i like a lot:
'Let him go. If he comes back, he was always yours.'
of course this does not mean that he will come back or that i expect him or that i want him to... i dont really know how i would react in any situations regarding him, that is why i do believe the first time in my life (and also what Kel told/suggested me) just walk away for now. Just leave the space between us two and let it rest. that is what i do.
I'm still alive, hanging in there, depressed, trying to get over my crab. He has finally stopped sending me emails and messages. In a way it makes me sad..hard to believe it's over in a way, and I keep trying to stay busy and trying to tell myself there are better things coming in my future but I still find myself not having much of an appetite, not having much enthusiasm for life, not being able to sleep...
I was so cautious about falling for someone, it took me nearly 20 years..and all I got was heartbreak again...
forum is acting weird, don't see the new comments...
It's working ok for me
hi Lua>> yes for me too now, but sometimes i see on the main site that someone commented, i come into the thread and it does not show up. then i have to write something and as my comment appears, i see the previous ones too.
sorry i left last night. i got to bed and fell asleep instantly, slept like almost 9 hours. i really needed it. how are you today?
im ok. missing scorp ALOT. trying to keep busy so i dont go completely mad. hoping still that he will come back. thinking alot about lots of stuff.. the last five years ..i love him so much. i hope he is ok. thinking that i am just not so great in relationships. i dont know katie.. to tell you the truth i am not really able to let go of him. there was way too much pressure that we both put onto the relationship for its own liking. it all got crazy.
i am trying to love me still.. and work on the things in myself that will be good for me and make me good for other people. im still doing my art, and music course audition in two weeks. i am a bit lost as to where my life is heading really.. i am also thinking of studying mental health.. i really am unsure. have a baby..? travel? study? ahhhhh i do find it hard to focus on one thing. like today for example.. i was painting.. then i got sidetracked and started sewing..! i do like to be creative i guess. i have lots of ideas. i feel lonely though .. this house reminds me of him. this bed.. I WANT HIM IN IT. NOW ! it is so crazy .. when i am with him i have often been dreaming of adventure and travel and feel sometimes like the kitchen is closing in on me.. the house is too small the car is tto small my life is too small.. then when he is gone i want to feed him massage him bath him i get all domestic and cosy and wish that i could share it all with him. my house is then too big.. you get my drift?? sigggghhhhh...
sorry to hear you are feeling sad. please take care of yourself though! i know its hard but you have to keep nurturing yourself, your body, respecting that. not being able to sleep is awful i know the feeling as i too have been suffering on and off. drinking milk helps.. for you maybe a bath and some chamomile tea. a massage. lua.. it takes alot of courage to open up your heart and love someone. great courage. remind yourself of that.. and no matter how long it took you still did it, and took the risk. some people just dont have the same courage.. just believe that good things will come your way . it is his loss lua and he sounds like he has a whole lot of things going on for him at the moment. focus on you again. hawaii, your health. .you are going to be ok x