Really nervous about Saturday ADVICE PLEASE

  • Im heading out to AC,NJ on saturday to celebrate my brothers bday, im not into clubs so this is new, my anxiety is with his bestfriend, we have a rather nasty /sour / rocky history that has me second guessing myself on whether not i should not participate . There is more to the history i dont want to say of but I REALLY dont want to open a can of worms i just want to have a good time and maybe get along . Get a apology thats wazy overdue or will he just e another invidual who will leave me anxiety ridden . Thank you so much ahead of time .

  • Everywhere we go, we may meet disagreeable people. Does that mean we should lock ourselves in our homes and never go out?

    Don't let other people affect the way you live your life. You don't need an apology to move on and enjoy yourself. It's a club - there'll be plenty of people to talk to - you don't have to speak to this person at all if you don't want to. Take your power back and stop giving it away to others. No one should have the power to make you behave differently but you.

  • I pulled a few cards for you and this is how I see it:

    Six of Cups

    The Hermit

    The Fool

    I believe the first card is referring to nostalgic memories of your brother. After all, this is his birthday coming up and it seems if the plans are to hang out with him, you two must be quite close. There's a lot of memories involved. But (The Hermit) you are isolated due to feelings regarding his best friend. You are having to look inside to make a decision whether or not to go. You don't want to miss the birthday, but you need some type of reassurance that if you go, those turbulent feelings about his friend won't bubble up. I can imagine it's a tough decision. But I would look at that third card. It tells me it's time to take a leap of faith. You need to be care free and disregard the nagging thoughts that there's risk involved. Focus on your brother and the nostalgia that brings a smile to your face. I think that far outweighs the risk of a friend with whom you shared a difficult past. He's not blood. This is about your brother.

  • Hi VirgoLadii (me too!)

    I agree - this is about your brother and His day - YOU are his sister, and have Every right to be there AND every right to enjoy yourself at YOUR brother's party.

    I am hoping your brother is approachable - I would have a little heart to heart with him and express how you're stressed about seeing That person, and you want to have a fun night with your bro and your worried that it may be unpleasant/uncomfortable and you don't want this situation to spoil his night or leave you with a horrid memory.

    Is your bro aware of your history with 'him'? Maybe he could have a word to him about just keeping out of your way. Your brother is the host, therefore it's His job to look after his guests. You are one of them and besides that, you are his sister - whether you're older or younger, is irrelevant. You need to be able to share how you feel, and he needs to look out for you. Your brother is arranging this occasion with familt and friends, it's entirely understandable that not everyone is going to get along, that's life, but I do feel he has a responsibility to you to ensure your welfare is considered at his party.

    Fortunately, it should be noisy at a club and I'm assuming there will be others there that you will know and can occupy yourself with. Maybe take a friend with you - it's a club, afterall! You need a 'girlfriend' to go to the bathroom with:-)

    Family is not esteemed and family members are not cared for and respected enough in my book. If you want to have the benefits of belonging to a family, you need to look after. respect and care for it - ergo, watch out for each other with intention. (Looks like I'm venting my issues now, hey!) I'm just trying to say you have every right to be there - don't be intimidated by that other guy. I better stop now before this post is about My issues!LOL.....

    Best of luck with the party, please post back here and let us know how it goes

    Warm Friendship,


  • VirgoLadii,

    Atlantic City -- is it one of the casino's because if it is you will have plenty of room to go wander by yourself to get away for a few moments. I understand that you feel uncomfortable but just go and enjoy yourself. Your brother will be very happy.

  • Everyone Thank you so much for your advice and being a friend to me LOL. Seriously , this changed my whole perspective , left me feeling confident and sure of myself and also i was feeling optimistic of the night ! Really , you guys are great and i appreciate the time you spent responding . My social fear went right out the window , UPDATE !!! Saturday night ended on a very positive morning ! I have to tell you all something (((we got stuck in the elavator for an HOUR !)) the fire department had to come and we had to climb out of the ceiling with a ladder !!! We took lots of pictures and it was really nice being out with family !! Im going to be honest i had my moments here and there where i felt upset & angry but i got over it and well . <<<<thecaptain>>>> this is for you dear... well you gave me a reading on my photo acouple days that had me on cloud 10 with excitement of meeting my prince charming but i think he arrived much earlier ?? I feel like he is the ONE (my prince charming) Seriously this feeling i cant shake and this is the same person with the rocky past .. But were adults now and have matured in many ways .. I cant help it but i feel like he is the one . PLease if you will . maybe give me a reading on this .. He says he stills loves me and cares for me . And when i become SINGLE we will start fresh and go on dates together to get to know each other again. Clean slate . Im going to start my job hunt this week , and pray for the best . All i want is to be happy and peaceful and enjoy life with someone who loves and appreciates me and i think it may be him . I dont want to get to far ahead of myself but we have a history and i know what i feel . THANK YOU LOVES - ALL COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED AND WELCOMED ! EASTER EVERYONE ! HUGS</thecaptain>

  • Well, well - isn't that a turn around! Stuck in the elevator with an ex you didn't want to share the same building with...Sounds like a chick flick with Meg Ryan!

    I'm Very jealous! Your story has brought a smile to my face and uplifted my sad and heavy heart for a moment...Even made me hopeful that just maybe and perhaps my man isn't too far off either.

    Best wishes for you VirgoLadii, I really mean that. Looking forward to the update - don't keep us all hanging now girlfriend:-)


  • WitchWomen , It does sound like a chic flick doesnt it LOL ! Dont despair hunny , Timing is crucial , when its right it will happen , Ive been thinking allday (keep in mind i had maybe 2 or 3 hours of sleep ) and i think time may be against me . So we will see where this takes me . Im glad a brought a smile to your face though. Thank you love !! Absoulutely will keep you posted . hugsss

  • Dear VirgoLadii....

    The Universe works in mysterious ways! It's always when you least expect it. Witch Woman, hang in there too. Just let it go -- out into the Heavens -- and let them work on it for you.

    Angel blessings,


  • Angelreader , Thank you indeed it does : ) i've realized that .

  • Thanks VirgoLadii & Angelreader,

    I would probably say the same to someone else...Bit hard to trust and remain optimistic when its myself though. I am normally optimistic and not a 'poor old me' type, but it's really starting to get to me - uncontrollable crying in public when I see families together, opting to stay home so I'm not confronted with it. I haven't been like this before, my clock is ticking, nay chimming - nearly 39.

    I just asked my best man-friend if he would ask his brother to impregnate me. Awaiting his response. I've as good as given up on having a lifepartner to have a family with. Can't wait any longer to have the courtship and then see if I can have children then. My daughter is nearly 12 & desperately wants siblings & her dad can't (she's an IVF babe).

    Sorry girls, just had to off-load that. I feel overwhelmed with this issue at the moment. I am sensible, responsible and have many interests. This is something that I feel is so wrong in my life and I am powerless to change it. I'm so frustrated which is probably making things worse. It's just a catch 22 - the longer I'm alone, the more despondant and hermit-like I'm becoming and therefore less likely to meet him and not sending out the 'right' messages to the Universe.

    There's no answers - I'm just venting girls, it's difficult to be this honest with friends and difficult for them to hear.

    Thanks for being there - ((((((((((((((WWXXX)))))))))))))))

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