Confused with cancer man. What else is new?
First off, this is a bit long, and I"m very sorry for that.
So I've been speaking to a CM for about 2 or 3 weeks now, and we're still at that stage of scoping each other out (and I had just gotten out of some kind of thing with a CapM that didn't really work out). Anyway, I went to visit him the other day for the first time really after class. We were looking for movies to watch while talking/getting to know each other more. We settled on a movie, started watching, but we were still talking in between. He found out I was ticklish and he started tickling me; this kind of went on throughout the night where he would tickle me, then stop, then start again; and we eventually had this little battle where he tried to figure out where my most ticklish spots were. I wouldn't tell him and that made him more determined. We ended up cuddling and he kept telling me that he liked cuddling with me and that he liked me in general; now this wasn't news to me. He already told me he kind of had a crush on me already and that he was cuddler. So this was okay. I didn't really know how to respond, considering I was still figuring him out, so I kept asking him why. Not completely smart of me, but I couldn't help it. So while spooning, he would blow on my neck, ear, kiss my neck lightly. Usually I would have tensed up from this, but it just tickled and I kind of enjoyed it. We started making out, but it was very passionate. Then we ended up fooling around but stopped when interrupted by someone at the door.
After a while, we started playing video games after I asked if we could because I was so caught off guard. After a couple of rounds, he leaned over and kissed me again. Then from there, we started fooling around again. However, when he tried to have sex, I stopped him. He asked me why, and I just told him that I felt like we were moving too fast, even though we had been doing all kinds of things earlier. I was just overwhelmed and caught off guard. But before I left, I lay there and stroked his ear and tried to explain why I couldn't go that far with them. He kept telling me he understood and that he really liked me, and that to him, sex was just sex, but the heart was the heart and he was also a cautious person. Before I walked out, he hugged me and kissed me and apologized for being out of control and that the next time he'd be good.
The thing is, I wasn't tht upset with him and I can't figure out why. In fact, I haven't been able to stop thinking about him and I was incredibly turned on by how passionate he was, as well as how nice he was. Still, are caps known to move that fast? I explained to him that I needed a little time to be able to trust him fully, but I still find it strange that I wasn't as upset as I figured I should have been.
So I don't know what's going on with this cancer already. Everything went very well that day. I didn't really hear from him the next day, so I thought I'd text him later that night to say hi. He responded with hi back, but I didn't hear from him the rest of the night. I just shrugged it off; then the next day I texted him later to tell him about something and ask a question, but his reply seemed very angry. I knew he was at work at the bar he serves at, and I figured he could have been stressed out or just busy. After I asked my question, I told him that I hoped he was having a good night. And he responded with "No." That was it. I haven't heard from him then. Still, I got this weird vibe that he was annoyed with me, so I decided to back off and have continued to do so throughout the day (since I had work today). I'm not too worried, but I'm just really confused as to what's up and if I did something to anger him. I've heard about cancers being moody, but it just seems he did a 180. But I just figure if he wants to talk to me, he can and he will. Also, this 180 kind of freaked me out because they really reminded me of the Cap male that I was dealing with for a few months. I just can't tell if he's already over me or something happened; it's a little upsetting because I really like him and want to get to know him.
It just really caught me off guard for someone to tell me that he has a crush on me after a week. I mean, it's not completely strange, but still surprising to me. I'm usually one to take it pretty slow until I get a feel for a person. Once or twice, I kind of questioned whether he was sincere, but all the same, I felt it was better to figure it out with him than to just write him off completely. But that still doesn't explain his behavior right now. However, I"m just kind of focusing on my own thing and waiting to see if he actually decides to ever contact me again.
I still haven't heard from the cancer. While I've been keeping to myself and my work, I still think about him constantly. Recently I noticed that he's been updating his statuses with lyrics from songs and when people ask about them, he'd reply with "I just wish I had someone to say that to." or something to that degree; also, he posted things like he's lonely. While I don't really read into these too much and they aren't related to me at all, I just keep wondering why he's bothering to posts these when he simply stopped speaking to me. I don't like when things are just left up in the air, so would it be wise for me to just leave him a message apologizing if I had said something to upset him and just leave it there (ie wait to see if he bothers contacting me). Whether he does or doesn't, it'd help to just sort of end it on a more positive note and it'd probably ease my confusion. I've remained patient and indifferent, but I'm still utterly confused.
So I texted the cancer today and simply said hey. I didn't think he'd text me back at first, but he did. We talked very casually for a little, and even joked some. I'm not sure what this means for us, bt it was just nice to know that there is nothing bad between us. I might just leave it here and see if he'll ever contact me back. From what I've read, he might. Or he might not. But I do feel a little better for just speaking to him a little. Lol he did end up texting me back at like 3 in the morning. The thing is, he texted me saying, " I want you to come over and just cuddle with me ." I told him that I wished I could then asked him what was wrong, since I saw his facebook status earlier, and it wasn't happy. He told me life in general, and I tried to tell him something uplifting. He didn't text back, but that didn't really bother me. I'm kind of thinking he's realizing that I do still care for him; otherwise I'd doubt he'd just come out of the blue and say that to me.
Anyway, I'm not sure if this cancer male is just not into me, which means I should move on, or if he's just being incredibly difficult at this point. I mentioned that after not hearing from the cancer for a week after thinking he was upset with me, I finally texted him just to be really casual with him and see how he was. He actually replied back, and we spoke a little; we even joked with each other. Later that night, at 3 in the morning, the cancer texts me and says, " I want you to be here and just cuddle with me right now." I told him that I wished I could, then asked him what was wrong. He replied back with, "Life in general". I told him something uplifting, and I didn't hear from him after. Way later the next day, while I was at work, I texted him asking if he was okay, out of general concern. Lately, I've seen him post many status updates wit how he was feeling lonely; or, he would post lyrics, and when someone asked about the, he'd just casually say he wished he could say those lyrics to/about someone. Anyway, after asking if he was okay, the cancer never texted me. I just shrugged it off, but I haven't heard from him since.
What really bothers me is that I'm completely willing to still get to know him and try to work something out; plus, I really care for him and he has this grasp on me that won't seem to loosen up. Also, he's so intent on finding someone and complains about it openly, yet it's like he no longer bothers to give me a chance. It's not like i'm really upset because I have other things to worry about, but it just annoys me since it's like he can't see what's right in front of him. I'm willing to let him go, I guess, but I'm just confused as to why he'd even bother texting me that night then stop speaking to me again. I don't know what little game he's trying to pull.
Oh. I'm a virgo/scorpio moon btw.
This is kind of a hodgepodge of stuff that's been occurring. From what I know, the cancer is probably still on edge from his last relationship, although he doesn't talk about it. So am I, however. We had an intense connection, but now I dont know what to do. I'm willing to let him go, but he has a firm grasp that hasn't let up yet. And I'm worried that if I do have the opportunity, it might be to late to rectify it, so I'm possibly thinking of sending him one more message just expressing how I feel and how it's up to him to decide what he wants
Okies, advice from aries/Taurus male. I don't know how helpful I can be bit here goes lol. Looks like he's using you for an ego stroke at this point. He could also really be going through a rough patch too. I'm an earth sign male and I can say from that aspect that I would appreciate it alot if you called or texted me because I'd prolly be thinkin about you too lol. Just keep in mind that night dice he apologized to you. We earth sign males tend to be apologetic creatures when it comes to sexual matters and going too fast. We want yall to be comfortable and if you aren't, we, well I know I do, tend to withdraw again. In short bid you really want him, go after him and see what happens
Thank you for your input
I guess what really worries me is whether pursuing him rather than the other way around might actually get me somewhere. I can't tell if it'd push him away or at least give me some answer.