Captain, advice please.



  • Hi Captain, this was your reply to my post on the compatibility analysis thread. And i've some further questions needing your advice. Sorry but it's gonna be a long post.

    Your advice: "Tangerine7, your friend isn't into long term commitment and he also wouldn't like the fact that you need to be the boss. You are wrongly seeing this guy as a force of change that will bring you freedom from something or someone. The consequences of this idea could be disastrous. First of course it isn't true, since people can only free themselves. Second, you are looking for freedom as an ideal which as such is bound to be unattainable.

    This is how the relationship would start out, in theory. It would end up as an all-consuming battle consisting of many skirmishes revolving around the theme of freedom. You are drawn to your friend in the belief that his solidity will be beneficial to you; unconsciously you are hoping to be freed from your own dark side, which is something you are none too comfortable with. Your friend meanwhile is looking for the exotic - a combination of passion and refinement to free him from his structured traditional life. You do possess this but are hardly aware of it.

    This combination would bring you both much frustration - your friend would feel out of control in his matchup with you, because you would run through his fingers like water. You in turn may tire of his fixed attitudes which you would find confining and ultimately dull. Thus a love affair here would become an exercise in futility."

    I've long known that Freedom seems to be a main theme in my life. But i'm unsure why this is so and how it has been affecting my life. Can you advice?

    You mentioned that i do possess "passion and refinement" that i'm not aware of. How do i unlock this part of me then and will it help me?

    I understand that this guy is not for me. But i really felt the connection with him and for the 1st time i felt that i could possibly have a partner in my life. I juz wanna know if he was even drawn to me initially, if at all. And what does it mean by "you would run through his fingers like water"?

    your advice is greatly appreciated. thank u.



  • Sorry Captain hope you dont mind felt compelled to respond i have a daughter and you described her to a tee Tangerine she uses men to get what she can get from them and she does it in a nice way i know this cause a lot of her actions were from child hood her mother left her and her sister and i got them when they were 9&10 but every time she seen her mother i would have to drag her back in to the house and she would scream for a hour to day she sees her mother and we are friends but to this day and she is 38 she is single she has a lot of friends as long as they dont want any more than what she will let them do for her so she does not have a intimate relationship she will not let any one that close and it hurts me to see her do that as a father i want the best for them but that pain of abandonment will not let her feel if she would look down deep to the inner self she would find that she has blamed herself for her mother leaving when it was not her fault so she lives her life based on a fear she has had since child hood and her life has been built on that fear which inturn robes us of a lot of happynewss an you would be supprized what parts of our life fear had been the ruller. Fear is good and bad and if you are living by truth you will see just like you are walking in a pasture and you hear a raddle snake and then you see him our natural or truth fear is telling us the snake is saying do not come over here and we dont and we just keep walking then we have a learned fear based on a fear if we get bit we will die so we kill it and all snakes we lump them all together this is kinda out there but it describes the learned fear and if that fear of snakes becomes real strong how much does it have to do with us makeing decisions think of how many areas that it affects Now find that fear that is stoping you from getting close to someone and why i start by asking the immediate question of why do i do tha what does it affect but allways ask you power to guide you and when you keep asking why you get to the root of the problem and once we understand it we tell our power and another human being the exzact nanture of the wrong its like clearing the slate and starting over but this time you do not have the fear and the actions you apply you finally start getting the results you were sneaking . I really hope this helps it has me a lot. Delbert



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